Archive of Our Own

When Master Crepus gifted the two of them their own pet birds to look after, Kaeya’s initial reaction had been to decline.

The man had a well-intended habit of bringing back gifts from his travels, but taking a pair of birds back home from his trip to Fontaine seemed a bit excessive.

He’d explained that the red and blue shade of the birds’ feathers had reminded him of them. That they always came in pairs, or sometimes even whole flocks, because they couldn’t stand being lonely. And sure, that was endearing in a way, but Kaeya knew he wasn’t cut out to look after a living, breathing thing like that.

There were days on which he could barely look after himself, so while most children would be ecstatic at the mere thought of receiving a pet, Kaeya felt miserable. It was too big a responsibility to bear, especially for someone like him.

With his luck, even a simple finch would end up dead in its cage sooner or later.

Not that he actually got to say any of that out loud. Diluc already spoke up before him, grinning from ear to ear like a kid who’d woken up to find their birthday had come twice that year.

‘We’ll take care of them together, won’t we?’

Kaeya desperately wanted to believe him.

Diluc and Crepus had already raised their fair share of birds together, most of which were birds of prey, so they were experienced to say the least. Those animals were large, dangerous birds that most would consider too hard to raise, yet neither Diluc nor his father seemed to let that stop them.

Not to mention the birds loved them to bits, so they weren’t just pretending to know their stuff either. Heck, the Ragnvindrs were known for being good with animals.

With all of those things combined, maybe, just maybe it would be okay to accept.

Perhaps the bird would be fine in his care.

Of course, Kaeya should have known better.

‘What should we name them?’ Diluc asked excitedly while giving his bird the umpteenth snack that day.

Kaeya was almost beginning to suspect the other’s inability to deny animals their treats was the real reason they liked him so much.

They were sitting in one of the drawing rooms, and while the birds had been let out of their cages to adjust to this new environment, they seemed to prefer sitting close to their human companions. Much like Crepus had told them, they didn’t like being on their own.

Diluc’s bird was sitting on the armrest of his chair, while Kaeya’s bird was curiously observing him from its spot on the coffee table.

Either Crepus had already let them adjust before gifting the animals to them, or they were suspiciously well-behaved.

‘I don’t know.’ Kaeya murmured. ‘What do you usually name your birds?’

At that, Diluc thought for a while. ‘Well, there’s Caladrius, Ocello, Noctua, Anastasia, and—’

‘None of those are bird names.’ Kaeya said with a snort, barely able to contain his laughter. ‘They sound like scholars or royalty or something.’

‘You come up with something better then.’ Diluc pouted, before crossing his arms dramatically. He wasn’t really mad, but it was terribly amusing to see him get this passionate over bird names.

‘What if we named them something really obnoxious.’ Kaeya mused. ‘Something like “welcome”, so anytime there are guests over, the birds will respond and come flying.’

‘I see my attempts at being a bad influence are finally paying off.’ Diluc practically beamed.

As much as Kaeya would like to argue he possessed his own mischievous streak just fine, he had to admit that a suggestion like this would have been unthinkable when he’d first arrived at the Ragnvindr estate. He was too scared of messing up and being abandoned again, no matter how many times both Crepus and Diluc assured him that wouldn’t be the case.

For him to speak his mind and say something like this was most definitely an improvement.

‘Say, I don’t suppose you know any cool foreign curse words that sound like names, do you?’ Diluc hummed innocently.

At that, Kaeya shook his head. ‘I have a better idea, actually.’

‘Oh?’

‘I think I’m going to name mine Diluc.’ he mused. ‘Or Lulu, for short.’

If Kaeya had thought the other’s smile had been impossibly broad upon receiving their birds, it was nothing in comparison to the one he wore now.

‘You’re a genius.’ Diluc told him. ‘Then I’ll name mine Kaeya. Or…Kai, for short.’

As if agreeing with that name, Diluc’s bird chirped contently.

This was going to be fun.

As it turned out, Master Crepus had a better sense of humour than any of the other adults Kaeya had ever known in his life.

Instead of getting angry about the bird names, or demanding them to change them, he played along.

‘Have you prepared dinner for Diluc and Kaeya yet?’ he asked Adelinde one evening, despite the three of them already being seated at the dinner table.

The poor maid gave him a confused look at the question, having put down their plates in front of them literal seconds ago.

‘I-…yes I have, master Crepus…?’ she replied, clearly wondering if her employer was beginning to develop some kind of neurological issues.

Kaeya barely managed to stifle his laughter, while next to him, Diluc was covering his mouth with both hands in an attempt to do the same.

‘Really? In that case I’m impressed with your efficient and fast work, as always.’ Crepus hummed.

‘Thank you, sir.’ Adelinde replied hesitantly.

‘Although…Adelinde.’

‘Yes, sir?’

‘I don’t think stew is a particularly suitable meal for birds, do you?’

Finally catching on, Adelinde didn’t quite succeed in concealing the way her eye twitched at those words.

‘The birds.’ she stated plainly. ‘Of course, master Crepus. I’ll tend to them right away. Pardon my confusion.’

When their plates were filled with bird food the following day, Adelinde wearing an amused expression while she told them it was just so hard to keep track of which meal was intended for whom due to the names, Kaeya and Diluc nearly fell from their chairs laughing.

Of course they did end up getting proper meals shortly after, but the plan to cause name-related mischief had clearly worked.

And with both Crepus and Adelinde encouraging it…well. It was simply too tempting not to.

As time went by, taking care of the birds slowly became a permanent part of their daily routine.

The animals served as trusty companions, rarely leaving their side save for the times they had to feed or stretch their wings. It was not uncommon to see either of the two brothers walking around town with a fluffy ball perched on their shoulder, or to see the birds get spoiled rotten with treats.

And despite Kaeya’s initial fears, even the bird under his care seemed to be thriving.

Lulu was a lively bird with an even livelier personality – much like his namesake – and Kaeya took comfort in that. Especially during moments where he started doubting himself, Lulu had a habit of letting out noisy chirps that always managed to snap him back to reality. Either that, or he would start fluttering wildly to get his attention.

Diluc’s bird was a lot more shy in contrast, preferring to hide in the other’s hair whenever he could, but that seemed to suit him just fine. Diluc was outgoing enough for the both of them, and didn’t often need an extra confidence boost. For him, Kai functioned more like some sort of buffer, making him think twice about carelessly rushing into combat. With a small, fragile animal in his care, he tended to act a little more responsibly.

Kaeya was almost beginning to suspect their father had specifically picked out these birds based on their personalities, although he never asked to make sure. Crepus had a knack for always knowing what they needed, be that a steaming cup of hot chocolate, an overconfident bird companion, or just a simple hug.

For once in his life, Kaeya dared to say he genuinely felt something akin to contentment.

Who knew getting a pet bird could have such a drastic impact?

For the longest time, Kai and Lulu were an incredibly well-behaved duo of birds. They rarely screamed, hardly threw any tantrums, and generally listened well – on the condition they were given enough treats and were allowed to explore, that is.

They had their bad days sure, but even humans had those, so that wasn’t unusual.

Generally speaking, the two of them behaved well.

Until suddenly they did not.

Master Crepus was away when it happened, and Adelinde, try as she might, was incapable of helping them either. She was good with animals – as was undoubtedly a must for anyone employed by the Ragnvindr family – but nothing seemed to make the birds calm down.

They were screaming and yelling, fluttering around the room, and at some point, Kaeya could swear he saw Kai pulling out some of his own feathers out of frustration.

Whenever a human threw a temper tantrum, it usually worked to hear them out, offer them comfort, then try and resolve the issue together. For birds however, Kaeya wasn’t so sure. He felt entirely powerless, and it wasn’t a feeling he particularly enjoyed.

‘Why won’t they stop screeching?’ Diluc brought out helplessly, covering his ears as he glanced at the door Adelinde had just left through. She’d gone to fetch some towels, hoping that covering the birds would calm them down, although the chance of that plan succeeding seemed small. ‘I’ve never seen anything like this!’

Kaeya grit his teeth, and pressed his hands harder against his own ears as well. If even someone who’d worked with birds all his life didn’t know what to do, then they stood no chance. They’d either have to wait until the birds tired themselves out, or until they decided they’d had enough.

In that moment, Kaeya wasn’t sure which of those was more likely to happen first.

As he was mulling over his options however, Diluc’s yelling suddenly snapped him from his thoughts.

‘Kaeya!’

At first, Kaeya thought the other had meant him, though his true intentions became clear a mere second later.

Bird Kaeya was being attacked by bird Diluc, who had decided to swoop down and attack. The fierce creature was pecking away as if the other bird had personally offended him, and Diluc rushed forward to separate the two.

Kaeya followed shortly after, moving to take hold of whatever bird he could first.

‘Stop it!’ he exclaimed.

‘What’s going on with you?!’ Diluc yelled as he finally managed to take hold of Lulu. He didn't cease his pecking, leaving quite a few nasty bites on Diluc’s hands, although that didn’t make him flinch in the slightest. ‘Calm down, Lulu!’

Kaeya meanwhile was holding on to Kai, who seemed to be just as shaken up as he was. The poor creature was attempting to hide himself away in his clothes, undoubtedly frustrated at the fact he didn’t possess the same kind of nest-worthy hair Diluc did.

‘You should-…you should cover him.’ Kaeya managed to breathe out, heart beating rapidly.

It was a bit of a struggle, considering his hands were otherwise occupied, but Diluc eventually managed to get his coat over the bird in his hands, causing him to calm down ever so slightly – if only because he had no choice.

‘You shouldn’t attack Kaeya like that.’ Diluc said softly, cradling the bundled bird and holding him close. ‘He’s your brother. Be nice to him.’

The fact it had been the bird in Kaeya’s care that had lashed out made Kaeya feel sick to the stomach.

‘I’m sorry.’ he whispered. ‘Sorry, I-…I probably didn’t raise him right, or something. I must’ve done something wrong. I just—’

But Diluc violently shook his head.

‘This isn’t your fault.’ he spoke firmly. ‘I was right beside you all this time. If you’d done something to mistreat him, I would know. You did nothing wrong.’

But then why would he lash out like this?

Why would a bird that had previously been so well-behaved, suddenly grow so violent?

The only logical reason to him was that he’d done something wrong. He’d caused this.

He’d been a terrible bird owner, and now these innocent creatures were victims of his selfishness as a result.

‘Anything could have set him off.’ Diluc tried to reassure him. ‘Maybe he saw something that frightened him, or he felt threatened. Maybe he hit his head. Heck, some animals develop mental issues the same way humans do. Doesn’t mean it’s your fault. You most likely had nothing to do with it at all.’

‘Still.’ Kaeya brought out. ‘It feels that way.’

‘It’s not.’ Diluc tried again. ‘Look, we’ll keep them separated for a while. Keep them calm, see if they behave any differently. Then once we think they’re ready, we’ll try and put them together again. Humans fight and argue too sometimes. Maybe they just need to cool off and all will be well soon again.’

Kaeya desperately hoped Diluc was right about that.

If the peace they’d acquired finally shattered, he didn’t think he’d forgive himself.

In the aftermath of it all, Kaeya felt there was some sort of irony to be found in the whole thing.

Looking back at the events that had taken place only a few days prior, one might wonder if the birds’ unusual behaviour hadn’t been some sort of awful foreshadowing. As if their little tantrum had been an attempt at warning them of the misery that was to come.

As Kaeya cradled Lulu close in the pouring rain, covering him to the best of his abilities despite the way his bones ached and his skin burned, he suddenly didn’t deem it all that unthinkable anymore.

Of course there were two major differences.

One: Kaeya had deserved it. Unlike the bird he shared his name with, he had actually given Diluc a reason to attack him. Had provoked him into lashing out. Into harming him.

And secondly: he doubted their falling out would be as easily resolved as their birds’ had.

They could live separated for as long as they liked, receive as much treats, peace, quiet, kindness, patience and attention in the world, but none of it would change the fact that they’d irreparably broken the bond they’d shared.

He’d messed up.

When Kaeya had found Lulu and Kai throwing a tantrum, he’d wished for it to be that of a human, wrongly assuming human tantrums were easier to resolve.

Now that it was in fact that of a human, he wished it was that of a bird instead.

Knowing that there wasn’t a single god in the whole world that would answer his pleas however, all Kaeya could do was hope the smooth reconciliation of their birds would turn out to be foreshadowing too.

Somehow, he didn’t think clinging to that hope would make much of a difference this time.

Hoping for anything usually only made things worse for him.

To say Kaeya wasn’t doing well after what transpired would be the understatement of the century.

He’d lost his family. His home. His will to live.

He suspected one of the only reasons he was currently still standing – was even making an attempt to get out of bed in the morning – was because Lulu was doing worse than him.

As if sensing what his namesake had done and bearing the guilt of it personally, the poor creature had stopped eating entirely. He just sat there, perched on one of the shelves in the empty apartment Kaeya had managed to acquire thanks to Jean, and stared into nothingness. A small pile of feathers had accumulated beneath it, indicating he really wasn’t doing well.

It was as if all the life had been sucked out of him, any of the liveliness and enthusiasm he had previously possessed entirely vanished.

They didn’t differ much from each other in that regard.

Except Kaeya – technically still being the bird’s owner because Diluc could pry that right from his cold, dead hands – felt a certain sense of responsibility to make sure he didn’t perish in his care.

Neglecting your own life was so much easier than neglecting that of someone else after all.

‘You should eat.’ he brought out, shoving the bowl with fancy bird food Lulu’s way.

Much like the previous six times, he didn’t even acknowledge him.

‘Lulu.’ Kaeya pleaded, a lump forming in his throat. ‘Diluc.’

The bird’s gaze finally fell on him then, although that was about the only movement he got. Lulu wasn’t interested in the food at all, purposely starving himself in hopes of achieving something Kaeya didn’t want to think about.

‘I know this must be hard for you too.’ he murmured. ‘If all of this is too much for a human to bear, then I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for a tiny creature such as yourself.’

Then, he sucked in a deep breath.

‘But I don’t want you to leave me as well.’ he finally admitted. ‘I know it’s selfish. I’m asking you to endure pain and suffering for my sake. But I-…I can’t do it on my own, okay? So please…’

At this, the bird slowly blinked, and averted his gaze to the food bowl that had been pushed his way. He seemed to consider his options for a few seconds, before leaning forward and taking a few seeds into his beak. It wasn’t much, but it was more than he’d eaten in days.

Kaeya felt like he might cry from joy.

Even if Lulu only ate enough to not die for now, it was something. It sparked a flicker of hope inside Kaeya that he didn’t dare have these past few days.

‘Please be okay.’ he whispered. ‘I need you to be okay.’

Perhaps if Diluc’s human counterpart had understood him even half as well as the bird did, they wouldn’t have been in this situation at all.

The tapping on his window that evening came as a surprise.

Jumpy and easily startled as ever, Kaeya immediately assumed it to be an intruder. He took hold of his sword, glanced at his newly acquired vision, then moved towards the window with careful, calculated steps.

There were a limited amount of people who knew about his recent move, which meant whoever was disturbing him must have done their research. Tracked him down. Kept him under surveillance.

Except…the closer he got, the more he was beginning to doubt whether this tapping was from a human hand at all.

Whenever a human hand tapped against glass, the weight and mass of the hand would cause the sound to be somewhat dull. This tapping sounded clearer, and more precise in contrast.

Perhaps an Abyss Mage, with their bony fingers, or even just their wand, then. But how had it entered Mondstadt unseen?

The more Kaeya thought about it, the less likely the thought of it being an enemy seemed to get. The knights would never allow such a creature to enter the city. It didn’t make any sense, but that only left him with fewer answers as to whom it could possibly be.

Well, only one way to find out.

It wasn’t as if he was particularly concerned about his own safety anyway. Lulu’s safety did concern him, but birds had the luxury of flying away if things became too dangerous.

When he lifted up the corner of a curtain to peek through, his breathing stopped.

As did the tapping.

Instead, it turned into desperate chirping and fluttering, a familiar shade of blue catching his eye.

‘Kai.’

Upon hearing the name, Lulu immediately perked up.

‘Is that-…?’

The second Kaeya opened his window, the bird came flying in, going so fast he crash-landed next to Lulu, before getting up once more and chirping loudly as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Lulu joined him a second later, loudly chirping and chattering in a way Kaeya hadn’t heard since they’d left the Ragnvindr mansion.

‘What are you doing here?’ Kaeya asked, wide-eyed and shocked at the whole display.

It was a stupid question, of course. These birds had no way of communicating with him aside from some incomprehensible chirps, and while he’d gotten pretty good at reading their body language over time, that was about it.

As Kaeya looked at the scene playing out in front of them however, he realized he didn’t need to be told in order to understand.

There was some more loud chirping, feathers being ruffled, and then the birds were cuddling up the same way they always had. Peace had returned as if they’d never been apart. Lulu looked better than he had in days, and Kai had calmed down once more as well.

Kaeya had never expected to be jealous of a pair of birds, yet here he was.

‘You sure made quite the entrance…’ he murmured, before moving Lulu’s food bowl their way in hopes of finally getting him to eat properly. Perhaps with his brother here, he would be more willing. ‘If only birds could speak, huh?’

It wasn’t uncommon for Kaeya’s mind to be racing with thoughts, but right now, it was even worse than usual.

Sure, he was relieved to see the two birds unharmed and reunited.

And sure, he felt happy for them.

But how had Kai managed to get here?

His presence meant that either he’d ran away from home, fleeing from Diluc in much the same way Kaeya had, or Diluc had purposely released him. Abandoned him for the sole reason he reminded him too much of the brother he’d lost.

Regardless of which of the two options was true though, Kaeya felt a certain pang of bitterness in his chest.

Clearly, Diluc hadn’t cared enough about Kai to try and make him stick around. Perhaps he’d even frightened him with his angry, violent behaviour.

“You shouldn’t attack Kaeya like that.” Diluc’s words echoed in Kaeya’s mind then. “He’s your brother. Be nice to him.”

What a hypocrite he’d been.

‘Well…looks like it’s just the three of us now, huh?’ Kaeya quietly brought out.

Unlike Diluc, Kaeya wasn’t too prideful to take care of the birds they’d raised together.

Even if looking at them made his heart ache and the weight on his shoulders feel heavier, he vowed to take care of them.

Maybe, just maybe, doing that meant he could preserve a fragment of the family they’d once been.

Order did return to Kaeya’s life eventually.

Not in the same way he’d grown familiar with these past years, but enough to carry on living at least. Life continued, and as the years went by, Kaeya found himself adjusting to these changes.

His apartment slowly filled with furniture – more so for the birds than for himself, if anything, but still. He became Cavalry Captain. He made new connections and acquaintances. And of course, he took care of his two precious birds.

Not even Diluc’s departure and return to Mondstadt had managed to ruin that for him. He was doing just fine on his own, and Lulu and Kai were thriving under his care. Neither Diluc’s snide glares nor his derogatory comments could bring him down.

If anything, Kaeya had developed thick skin and better confidence these past few years.

He had the guts to go see Diluc and deliver his abandoned vision to him – and additionally, perhaps more importantly, he had the nerve to frequent Angel’s Share while the other was there, purposely getting himself black-out drunk on more than one occasion just to make a point.

Not even he himself knew what that point was exactly, but that didn’t matter.

There were days on which he could barely look at his two birds without breaking down, of course – a cruel reminder of all he’d lost – but generally speaking, he was fine.

If the same could not be said for Diluc – whose eye bags seemed to be getting more severe every day, and who didn’t resemble the bright and lively boy Kaeya had once known whatsoever – then that was none of his business.

‘It’s just, I heard that you’re good with animals, Master Diluc, so I thought I’d ask you for advice.’ Kaeya overheard an unusual conversation at the tavern that day.

While it wasn’t uncommon for him to eavesdrop in order to obtain information or intel, this time it happened completely on accident. It was hard to tune out once he picked up on something, but thankfully, it didn’t seem like a particularly important or private conversation – although there were plenty of idiots who thought a tavern was the perfect location for conversations like that as well – so listening in wasn’t that rude.

‘Have you got any idea of what kind of pet she’d like?’ Diluc asked the man standing in front of him. He sounded kinder than Kaeya had heard him be in ages, the topic of pets apparently one he could let down his guard for a little.

‘She’s terribly fond of birds.’ the man, clearly an adventurer by the looks of it, chuckled. ‘Whenever we go into town, she’s always chasing pigeons. Not to eat them, mind you, but to pet them. I reckon she’ll be good friends with that Timmie lad once she’s a bit older.’

The way Diluc’s eyes narrowed could easily be missed by the untrained eye, but Kaeya had studied the other’s expressions for years, so it didn’t go unnoticed by him.

It was easy enough to figure out the man talking to Diluc was just trying to find a suitable pet for his daughter, and innocently assumed the other would be able to tell him a thing or two.

And he probably could have, once upon a time, before he’d turned into an emotionally repressed idiot. But the topic of pet birds seemed to be somewhat of a touchy subject for Diluc nowadays, and he was doing a poor job at hiding it.

‘I don’t think pigeons will make for a good indoor pet, though.’ the man continued, clearly oblivious to the whole thing. ‘Besides, they’re way too jumpy. So, you know, I was wondering if you know of any good pet birds, being the expert and all. Ah, of course a bird of prey would be too dangerous for a wee girl like that, but…’

‘I’d advise against getting her a pet bird at all, actually.’ Diluc firmly told him, the kindness from just moment before gone as quickly as it had come.

The other man clearly didn’t expect such an intense reaction, a bewildered look on his face as he let the words sink in.

‘Oh. I just-…why’s that?’ he stammered. ‘I assure you we’d take good care of it, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

Diluc shook his head. ‘That’s not what I meant.’ he said. ‘I don’t doubt you’d take good care of it if you’re going out of your way to do research like this.’

Much like the man, Kaeya was growing quite curious as to why Diluc thought birds didn’t make for good pets then. He could understand why he preferred not to talk about them, it being a sensitive subject and all, but to go this far?

‘If you’re trying to make your daughter happy by gifting her a pet, you should give her a pet that actually stays.’ Diluc told him, almost sounding a little bitter. ‘Prey birds are loyal, but most other birds just tend to fly away and never return. It would break her heart. You’d be better off buying her a dog or a rabbit or something.’

Had Kaeya not known what kind of man Diluc was, he might have wrongly assumed the other just wanted a pet that would love him unconditionally, no matter how poorly he treated it. Thankfully for him, Kaeya did know, meaning he managed to bite back the snide remark his brain came up with. Only just, though.

‘Sounds like you speak from experience…’ the man replied, looking a bit deflated.

‘The pet finch I’d had for years flew away shortly after I turned eighteen.’ Diluc explained. ‘Hence why I’ve only stuck to birds of prey ever since. At least they actually appreciate the care they’re given.’

‘That’s bullshit.’ Kaeya spoke up before he could stop himself. This time, he didn’t succeed in biting back his remark. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud at all, but Diluc had the annoying habit of making him run his mouth. There was no taking it back now.

‘Excuse me?’

‘You heard me.’ Kaeya said before he could change his mind and make a quick escape. ‘I said that’s-…rubbish. Your finch flew away because you were the one to neglect it first. Maybe if you’d tried harder to make it stay, it would have. And I don’t mean sticking it in a cage, if that’s what you’re thinking of.’

He didn’t know why he said any of it, but perhaps a small part of him still blamed Diluc for hurting their birds that day. For letting Kai leave, and not even making an attempt at finding him and making things right. For being so consumed by anger that he didn’t care if he scared everyone away. For leaving. For being so stubborn.

Perhaps an even smaller part still blamed Diluc for hurting him as well.

Some things couldn’t be left unsaid forever.

‘What do you know about birds?’

‘Oh I know plenty.’ Kaeya argued. ‘At least mine never tried to flee.’

Diluc grit his teeth. ‘Perhaps not, but if I recall correctly, it was your finch that attacked mine out of nowhere that day.’ he hissed.

That was a low blow, even for him.

‘That was one time.’ Kaeya told him, before sucking in a sharp breath. ‘Kai and Lulu give you their regards, by the way. They’ve been doing wonderful since then.’

Lucky for him, Kaeya had no qualms about sinking even lower.

‘I, uhm, I’ll give it some thought.’ the man from before – the one both of them had completely forgotten about until now – murmured awkwardly. ‘Thank you.’

And just like that, he was gone.

For a moment Kaeya thought Diluc would get angry at him for scaring off a potential customer, although the look on his face suggested otherwise. He just looked shocked, and dare he say it; almost a little hopeful. It was a strange look on him.

‘Kai is with you?’

Oh.

There was no anger left in his voice at all.

So maybe he did care.

‘Yeah.’ Kaeya said, a lot softer this time. With Diluc sounding just the slightest bit like the boy he once had been, his own anger seemed to evaporate too. ‘Yeah, he came flying into my apartment shortly after-…well. You know.’

The downside of his anger being gone though, was that he didn’t quite know how to carry himself anymore.

Being angry was easy. Defending the birds was easy. Throwing insults was easy.

Actually talking, however? Not so much.

‘I didn’t know.’ Diluc murmured, looking a bit awkward. ‘I’d looked for him everywhere. Or so I thought, at least. Birds usually return to places they know. I didn’t realize that extended to people.’

Back then, Kaeya had assumed Diluc simply didn’t care enough. That he hadn’t bothered to look at all, or had purposely thrown him out himself.

Only now did he realize he’d been wrong.

‘I guess it does.’ Kaeya replied, almost feeling a little apologetic for assuming such an awful thing about someone he’d once called family. ‘They’ve always been clever.’

‘Yeah.’ Diluc said. ‘Yeah, I guess so.’

‘They’ve been doing well, you know.’ Kaeya told him. Even if they weren’t exactly on speaking terms anymore, he could at least have the decency to tell Diluc about the birds they once shared. ‘Not at first. Lulu wasn’t…doing well, back then. Refusing to eat. Pulling out his own feathers. But then Kai came along and he was fine. So-…’

Kaeya swallowed thickly before speaking the next bit, feeling somewhat anxious as he did.

‘So maybe Kai didn’t fly away from you because you treated him badly.’ he brought out. ‘He just knew Lulu needed him more.’

Because clearly, a pair of birds had more emotional maturity than a pair of grown ass humans did.

‘I’m glad.’ Diluc told him, and clearly meant it. ‘I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself if something bad had happened to him.’

For a brief moment, Kaeya caught a glimpse of the goody two-shoes, world-saving child he’d once known.

A small part of him was still angry at Diluc for causing so much hurt. He didn’t think that was a feeling he’d ever be able to rid himself of entirely, even if they did somehow manage to talk things out.

A slightly larger part was angry at himself too, for not making an attempt at resolving any of it either.

Most of him though, just wanted things to be okay again.

‘Thank you for taking care of them all this time.’ Diluc told him then.

Unbeknownst to him, those were the words that finally made Kaeya cave.

Instead of demanding his bird back, the other was thanking him.

For the first time since his return to Mondstadt, Kaeya didn’t see any bitterness or spite displayed on that face. As if he too simply wished for things to be okay, whatever that meant.

‘You should come and see for yourself sometime.’ Kaeya finally broke the awkward silence that had fallen over them. ‘I’m sure they’ve missed you.’

He didn’t know what possessed him to ever suggest such a thing. Inviting his estranged brother to…what, pet their old birds together? Surely, he’d officially lost his mind at this point.

‘I’d…like that.’

Maybe they both had.

Huh.

‘Good.’ Kaeya managed to bring out, before finally making that escape he’d been thinking about for so long and heading towards the exit. ‘I’ll see you around, then.’

When he glanced back to see what kind of expression Diluc was making after all that, the other gave him an awkward nod in acknowledgement.

‘Yeah…see you around.’

Kaeya wondered why Lulu and Kai were acting so cheerful when he go home that day.

Kaeya never expected Diluc to actually take him up on his offer.

After all that had transpired between them, he’d assumed him to be too prideful for that. Either that, or too scared. Diluc wasn’t a coward by any means, but Kaeya knew what it meant to be scared of your own past – not to mention the effect it could have on the present.

So no, he hadn’t exactly expected to be met with the sight of Diluc holding up a bag of fancy bird food upon opening his door that morning.

For a few seconds, he didn’t know what to say.

‘This was a bad idea, wasn’t it?’

Kaeya bit the inside of his cheek in consideration for a moment, then shook his head. ‘I mean, I would have appreciated a heads-up, but—’

‘Sorry.’ Diluc murmured. ‘I should go. I’m not—’

‘I didn’t say that.’ Kaeya interrupted him. ‘I mean, it’s not as if I have anything better to do today.’

He could have an appointment with the gods of Celestia themselves and he would have cancelled on them just for this.

Not that Diluc needed to know that.

Still, that bag of bird food was clearly meant as a peace offering – and one Kaeya was more than willing to give a chance.

‘You can come in if you’d like.’ he murmured, holding open the door a little further. He briefly considered saying something along the lines of “sorry about the mess”, but the only mess present was that of the birds. If anything, he should apologize for his apartment being so empty and impersonal.

In the end, he decided it was better to say nothing at all.

Instead of an awkward silence though, Diluc was met with loud and excited chattering from the birds. It seemed that unlike him, they had no qualms about greeting him whatsoever, flying towards him right away and landing on his shoulder and his head. Especially Kai seemed awfully pleased at finally being able to bury himself in familiar hair again.

‘Did you bring them the bird equivalent of catnip or something?’ Kaeya teasingly asked him in an attempt at making small talk. He had a habit of running his mouth and saying unnecessarily cruel things, but right now, he desperately wanted to keep things light-hearted.

‘Must be.’ Diluc softly chuckled. ‘I mean, I sincerely doubt they’d still recognize me after all this time.’

‘Don’t underestimate them.’ Kaeya replied, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. ‘They’re clever. And don’t give yourself so much credit, either. Underneath that broody exterior, you’re still the same hot-headed goody two-shoes. You haven’t changed as much as you think you have.’

Well then.

So much for not running his mouth.

‘Kaeya—’ Diluc started, although that only caused him to grab Kai’s attention instead. The curious bird then made his way down from his head towards the hand that was holding the bird food, and eagerly started nipping at the bag.

‘Hey!’ Diluc laughed – something Kaeya knew he didn’t do enough these days. ‘When did you grow so bold?’

‘Unlike you, Kai has changed.’ Kaeya mused. ‘Mostly for the better, though.’

‘I can see that.’ Diluc replied, taking some of the bird food into his hand and holding it out for him. Kai got to eating right away, although neither of them missed the way he was purposely throwing seeds in Lulu’s direction to tempt him into joining.

After about thirty seconds of it, he finally did.

‘I…assumed the worst, after Kai left.’ Diluc told him, carefully sitting down on the floor so the birds could continue eating from his hand in peace. He ignored the perfectly decent couch in Kaeya’s living room, likely not knowing if it would be considered rude to use it or not. ‘I thought he wouldn’t last a day out there, but I guess I was wrong. I didn’t have to worry about him at all.’

Kaeya tried not to think about the implication of those words, and shrugged casually. He’d gotten pretty good at acting like things didn’t affect him as much as they really did.

‘He got lucky, is all.’ he replied. ‘I don’t think he would have turned out this way if Lulu hadn’t been in such a state. Life required him to be bolder, so he did. Needs must, and all that.’

At that, Diluc nodded absentmindedly. There was clearly more he wanted to say.

‘I know that look.’ Kaeya sighed, before moving from his spot in the doorway and sitting down across from him on the floor instead. ‘Spit it out.’

‘What?’

‘It’s written all over your face.’ Kaeya explained. ‘There’s more you wanted to say.’

Diluc pursed his lips in thought, and added some more bird food to his hand to try and distract himself.

‘It doesn’t matter.’

Clearly, it did.

‘Did you like him better when he needed taking care of?’ Kaeya asked, unable to stop himself despite his earlier statement. ‘When he was weak and dependant on you?’

If the wide-eyed look Diluc gave him was anything to go by, maybe he’d been wrong about that after all. It was a painful reminder he wasn’t as good at reading the other as he once had been.

‘No.’ Diluc told him firmly. ‘No, I’m glad he’s grown.’

‘But?’

‘But nothing.’ Diluc argued, sounding angrier than he probably meant to be. Kai startled momentarily, then continued eating from his hand as if nothing had happened. ‘Stop making a fuss about nothing.’

‘You’re the one making a fuss.’ Kaeya snapped. ‘Use your big words, Master Diluc.’

‘Kaeya.’ the other warned him, making him realize he was pushing too much.

Old habits die hard.

‘Sorry.’ Kaeya murmured.

It was quiet for a few seconds then, before Diluc decided to speak up again.

‘I thought he left because he hated me, alright?’ he begrudgingly explained, his voice a lot softer this time. His gaze focused on the two birds in his hands, who eyed him curiously for a while before resuming their snacking.

Kaeya wasn’t sure what made him change his mind in the end, but he was glad he did.

‘I was convinced he despised me – that maybe he had all this time – and that’s why he wanted to hurt me.’ Diluc said. ‘I can’t exactly blame him for that, but-…’

He paused for a moment.

‘Turns out he just had more important things to be doing.’ he muttered. ‘I was self-centred enough to think this was about me, but it’s not. And now he’s thriving without me, and it’s hard to come to terms with that.’

Kaeya wasn’t entirely sure he was talking about the birds anymore.

‘Kai left because Lulu needed him.’ he repeated his words from back at Angel’s Share. ‘And because he knew staying by your side would hurt those he cares about.’ he added. ‘But I wouldn’t say he’s thriving. He still misses you.’

‘Does he?’ Diluc asked softly, watching as Lulu decided he’d had enough and flew over to Kaeya’s shoulder instead. ‘It doesn’t seem that way.’

‘Why else would he seek out your company?’ Kaeya pointed out, gesturing towards Kai, who’d also had enough to eat but had decided to perch on Diluc’s shoulder instead. ‘These birds get miserable when they feel lonely, remember?’

‘But he’s not alone, is he?’ Diluc asked. ‘Whatever would he need me for?’

Was he truly that slow, or did he doubt himself more than Kaeya thought?

‘I didn’t take you as the type of person to question his own importance.’ Kaeya said. ‘Is it truly that hard to believe someone can still care about you even if you’ve hurt them?’

‘Yes.’ Diluc answered. ‘Yes, it is.’

‘Well, now you know.’

Then, because if they were being genuine and vulnerable anyway he might as well add more fuel to that fire, he added; ‘Then again, harbouring self-doubt is something we’re both familiar with, isn’t it? I’m still sorry for giving Lulu a reason to lash out that day too.’

He himself wasn’t talking about the birds this time either.

Thankfully, Diluc seemed to understand that.

‘That wasn’t your fault.’ the other told him, quietly moving his hand up to his shoulder so he could give Kai some pets. The bird moved into the touch immediately, gratefully accepting the affection. ‘It never has been.’

‘It feels that way.’ Kaeya whispered.

‘Well, now you know.’ Diluc whispered back, copying his words from before.

Noticing Kaeya’s distress at those words, Lulu fluttered down onto his lap, and started hopping and chirping for attention. Only when Kaeya moved to pet him did he finally calm down again.

‘I’m sorry.’ Diluc said, looking at Kai as he did but making it very clear who he was actually talking to.

‘Me too.’ Kaeya said, doing the same with Lulu. ‘I’m sorry too.’

Kai gave a small chirp from his spot on Diluc’s shoulder, then comfortably puffed up his feathers.

‘Could I-…could I come visit them again, sometime?’ Diluc carefully asked. ‘I don’t want to impose, but I’ve missed them too.’

Missed you, he didn’t say.

This time, Kaeya was fairly confident he’d managed to read Diluc just fine.

‘I think they’d like that.’ he told him without hesitation. ‘You’re welcome here anytime.’

They still had a long way to go, but this was a start at least.

Maybe they could make an example out of the birds they’d raised together, and make an attempt at reuniting in the same way they had.

Considering they’d ended up flying right back to each other already, Kaeya had a feeling that thought wasn’t as unrealistic as it had once seemed.