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Peter was not having a good day.
It had been a stressful school day, for one. Then after school, it seemed like every criminal and villian in the immediate area decided to pop up. He barely had time to breathe with how quickly one issue after another popped up. Combined with SHIELD training, homework piling up, struggling to keep his grades up with the amount of times he’s had to miss class because of SHIELD duty, and sleep deprivation, to say Peter was stressed out was an understatement. He was at his limit. His head pounded , and any light that hit his retinas burned and made him feel nauseous.
As he slowly made his way into an alley to change into his Spider-Man suit and web up to the SHIELD helicarrier, he almost tripped over his feet as a realization hit him.
He felt small.
Peter slid down into a sitting position next to the dumpster with his back against the brick wall. He tilted his head back and took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears threatening to spill.
What should he do? Call in sick? Say he has a family emergency? Say he’s been kidnapped by some villain?
Peter ran his hands down his face before standing up, knees cracking at the action. As much as he didn’t want to go to training, especially now, Ava already got on his case for not going to training. And then he’d have to explain himself tomorrow.
The sound of his SHIELD communications device makes him jump. Speak of the devil, and she will appear. It’s Ava telling him he’s late.
Ugh, why was everything such a hassle?
He slips the mask over his face, webs up his backpack on the wall and out of reach, then swings through the buildings to get to the helicarrier.
***
Even though his limbs felt like jello, and he had the mindset of a toddler at the moment, maybe training would be good today. Maybe he could get through it. Maybe The Universe would be merciful.
…Maybe he shouldn’t have said that, because as he neared the training room, he could hear the chatter of his teammates become increasingly louder. And they were loud. Very very loud. He was used to loud, with living in a city and all, but with spider powers came heightened senses. He occasionally had sensory overloads due to this, but the fact that he felt small and was on the verge of one… The sense of foreboding only deepened in his gut.
He definitely jinxed himself.
Peter rubbed his temples, a feeble attempt at trying to reduce the ache. All eyes were on him as he entered the training room.
“You’re late,” White Tiger growled.
Spider-Man simply shrugged. “Busy.”
He’d usually say more, but his tongue felt like lead in his mouth.
Iron Fist stared at him with an analytical gaze before stating, “Your chi is different today.”
Spider-Man shrugged again but offered no further explanation. The others raised their eyebrows at the lack of response, but before anyone could comment on it, Colson’s voice blared from the overhead speakers.
“Now that everyone’s here, we can begin. Today we’re going to work on staying focused through distractions.”
A panel of the floor opened up, and a little cube was lifted up from a platform. It was covered in bright, neon-colored lights, like a disco party light. It also had a poorly drawn, lopsided smiley face on it.
“That’s it? A little square disco ball?” Nova asked.
The box then emitted an ear-splitting screech, making the heroes cover their ears. The screech changed into a constant, high-pitched whine layered on top of repetitive beeps. It was reminiscent of a school’s fire alarm, except much worse. More panels of the floor opened up, and out came a mirage of SHIELD training robots.
The volume on Colson’s voice was turned up so he could be heard over the box. It was so loud that Spider-Man could feel the bass of his voice vibrating beneath his feet. “Your task is to take out the box. The robots will be trying to stop you, but stay focused on your objective. Don’t get distracted taking down the robots.”
As soon as he finished, the robots started running at the heroes and shooting them with laser beams. The others immediately removed their hands from their ears and jumped into action. Spider-Man also tried to join in, but the lights and the sounds and the sensations and the throbbing in his skull and he just felt so utterly small and he wanted to go home and cuddle up in bed and he just wanted everything to go away please stop stop stop STOP—
***
“Spider-Man? What’s going on?” Power-Man looked over his shoulder to see Spider-Man frozen in place, trembling, with his hands firmly pressed against his ears and his eyes squeezed shut.
“Web-Head, we could use a little help!” Nova yelled out as he fought off a robot that held him in a vice-like grip.
Spider-Man shook his head and shrunk further in on himself.
“Spider-Man, whatever’s going on, you need to calm down and focus on the task at hand,” White Tiger said.
Spider-Man’s head throbbed painfully. He felt extremely nauseous, and his vision was starting to become dark and blurry at the edges. Suddenly, his spidey sense went off, and before he could react, he was grabbed by a robot and sent flying. Spider-Man cried out as his back slammed against the wall, and as he slumped down, tears finally started to fall.
He needed to get out of there.
Spider-Man forced himself up and ran out of the room. He didn’t register that the lights and sounds from the box had stopped, as well as the sounds of battle. He also didn’t register the sound of his teammates calling out for him.
“Something is wrong,” Danny said.
“Yeah, no kidding.” Nova rolled his eyes. “Web-Head’s not the kind of guy to have a breakdown at seeing the robots we beat up for training every day and run away.”
“We should give him some space,” Power-Man said.
“No, we shouldn’t,” White Tiger adamantly disagreed. “If we want to get better as a team, we have to deal with our problems together. A machine is only as good as the sum of its parts.”
Danny nodded, “I agree with White Tiger. Like I said earlier, his chi reading was off, much more vulnerable… Like a small child.”
“Whatever, let’s just go find him.” Nova flew out of the room with the others hot on his heels.
***
“Web-Head!” “Spider-Man!” “Dude!” “Peter!” “Webs!”
“Ugh, Ava you’ve only led us in circles! Maybe he’s not on the helicarrier,” Nova groaned.
White Tiger shook her head. “No, he’s still on the helicarrier. And I’m not just wandering aimlessly. I’m using the Tiger’s sense of smell.”
White Tiger led the team down a hallway. It was empty except for a trash chute at the end of the hall, and a large vent above the chute, whose cover was laying on the floor. White Tiger was slightly too short to properly see into the vent, so she jumped and dug her claws into the wall above the vent to keep herself in place. The others crowded around her.
Spider-Man was curled up on his side, with his back facing towards them. He most definitely sensed that they were there, but he didn’t acknowledge their presence at all.
“Yo, Webs, you good?” Nova asked. “You ran out of training. You’re also hiding in a vent. A bit weird, man.”
Power-Man nudged him.
“Uh, I meant, a bit odd, but no judgment. Vents are comfy, y’know. Very private, lots of space… I think I’ll stop talking now.”
“Spider-Man, what’s going on?” White Tiger asked.
Her tone must have been too harsh, because Spider-Man curled into himself further.
“We’re worried about you, man. We wanna help with whatever’s going on. We won’t judge.” Power-Man spoke softly.
It took a few moments for the words to sink in, but when they finally did, Spider-Man slowly turned around to face them, sitting cross-legged.
Spider-Man took a shuddering breath. “Um… s-sorry I ran out. I, um… It’s been a rough day, and the sounds and stuff got to me. But I-I’m fine now! You guys don’t need to worry.”
“You always say that when you’re not fine,” Power-Man deadpanned. “What’s really going on?”
Spider-Man huffed, “Fine! I’ve been having like, weird feelings ever since that time Loki turned us into kids. Sometimes I feel like… Like I’m still that size. Y’know… small . And it’s happening again today. I can’t focus on anything, I feel more… emotional , I guess, and everything just feels so much more overwhelming.”
The SHIELD team stared at Spider-Man for a few moments before Danny gasped.
“Ooooh, I understand now.”
“Can you explain for the rest of us?” Nova asked.
“My master explained it to me when it happened to one of my fellow students. ‘Regression,’ as it is called, is when one reverts back to a younger mindset. Healing the soul through the mind.”
“O-kay…” Peter coughed. “So why is it happening to me? I didn’t choose to do it.”
“It often happens involuntarily.”
Peter groaned and tugged on his mask, like he was trying to use it to hide. Danny placed a hand on the other’s shoulder and gave him a gentle smile.
“Whatever happens, we will be there to support you, friend.”
“Yeah, man. We got your back.” Luke smiled.
“Even though this ‘regression’ thing,” Nova added.
Ava nodded, “Teammates, but more importantly friends , are always there to support each other.”
Touched by their words, Peter sniffed and took off his mask. He wiped his eyes and smiled. “Thanks, guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Danny opened his arms for a hug, which Peter eagerly fell into. The rest of the gang joined in the hug as well.
Navigating through feelings you yourself don’t quite understand is hard and scary, but it’s easier when you have friends by your side. Maybe Peter could learn to rely on his team more, cause they’d always be there for him.