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Scar was shaking, covering his mouth as he quietly cried into the night. His thoughts were overwhelming him, fears that Grian is going to leave him now that he's red. Sure, Grian accepted the bouquet he gifted him, but it still wasn't enough to satisfy his mind.
His abandonment issues haven't hit this hard in a while, especially not during the time of this game. Well.. At least, he didn't think. Of course, he felt pangs in his chest when friends, he considered close, refused him, but he always pushed the thought away.
It was easier to pretend that they didn't hurt him, but he didn't realize it had just gotten that overwhelming. Now, he was terrified of waking up and finding the person he grew entirely attached to gone.
He breathed slowly, scared to wake the avian with his sniffles of a stuffy nose. He bit down on his hand, whimpering softly as more tears fell from his eyes. He can't let Grian know he's crying. He's supposed to be a big strong red name, unafraid to commit mass murder.
Red names don't cry.
Red names make others cry.
He felt Grian shift on the bed beside him and Scar froze, craning his ears to hear if Grian had woken up. When he heard nothing else, he let another quiet sob slip from his throat. He wanted to cry even harder, just let it all go, but he was already seen as weak. He didn't want to make it worse.
"Scar..? Hey you okay..?"
Scar froze when he heard a familiar voice whisper to him and Sacr rolled over to face him, hoping the moon light wouldn't reveal the tear stains on his face "Mmhmm.." He murmured, scared to talk. He was scared that if he spoke, Grian would hear the fact he was crying.
Grian didnt respond for a while and Scar was starting to think he might've fallen back asleep, but suddenly a warm hand rested on his cheek. He knew Grian felt the tears on his face.
"You've been crying.. What's wrong?" Grian asked, shuffling closer. Scar shook his head "Nothing. Just... A rough night. Being red isn't all that fun..!" He half lied, hoping Grian would believe his words.
"I know there's more to that.. I know you, Scar" Grian deadpanned and Scar sighed, sitting up. Grian sat up as well and Scar admitted, feeling everything crashing down now "I'm just... Scared. That you're scared of me... And That when I wake up, you'll be gone with Dogwarts and I'll... Be alone"
Grian pulled him into a hug and whispered "Oh Scar.." Scar buried his face into Grian's neck, whispering back "I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry..." over and over.
Grian pulled him away and said, holding his shoulders while staring into his eyes "Hey. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm not leaving you, Scar, even if I was given the choice. You're all I want, darling"
"Are you sure..?" Scar whispered again, eyes flicking between the other's eyes. Grian nodded and kissed his forehead "More than sure. If.. We weren't stuck in this death match, I would've loved to spend all my time with you."
Scar slightly smiled "Thank you, dove.." Grian wiped away the tears from Scar's face and said "You're more than welcome, darling. What caused these thoughts..?"
Scar leaned into his touch, humming "Me ending up red.. I know.. You accepted my bouquet offer, but still, I was terrified that you only accepted them because you felt like you had to.."
Grian shook his head "No.. No I didn't. I accepted them because I love you" A smile grew on Scar's face upon hearing him say 'I love you' and he said back, shyly "I love you too"
Grian softly laughed "You're still ever so shy saying it" Scar rolled his eyes "It makes me happy" He huffed to which Grian giggled, pulling him into a hug before dragging him down to laying.
Scar smiled widely and wrapped his arms around Grian's waist, feeling Grian's wing wrap around them both. "Goodnight, birdie" Scar whispered and Grian whispered back "Goodnight, darling"
The two fell asleep, holding each other in the cold desert night. Such a lovely night...