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Wilbur brushed his hand through once golden locks. They were grey now, but still as smooth as they had once been not that long ago. They were settled on soft grass, the human beside him staring up at the night sky, head in Wilbur’s lap. Wilbur couldn't take his eyes off his star if he tried.
Wilbur traced the wrinkles along Tommy’s cheeks, the elytrian feet along his eyes, old smile lines now etched into his skin. Marks of Tommy’s life. Marks of Tommy’s experiences all beautifully displayed for Wilbur to see.
Like the rings of a tree. When it falls, it shows all its hardships, all its good years and bad. Years it was fed well, and others filled with drought. Whole stories told with nothing but rings.
Tommy was here, and the markings of his years were something Wilbur took pride in studying.
Signs of age. And signs of love.
Tommy’s heart had been getting slower recently, Wilbur could hear it. The human’s lungs were starting to wheeze with effort. The boy had gotten slower.
Time was catching up to him.
Wilbur had always been so good at avoiding it. But even as he manages to dance out of its grasp, those he loves; are not.
And it was not something he could protect his hauntling from, as much as he wishes it was.
But… despite all that had started to decay…
Tommy’s eyes snapped up to him, a smile gracing his lips.
Tommy’s eyes shone as bright as they always had. So full of life. So ready for the next adventure.
Wilbur blinked, a tear dripping onto Tommy’s cheek. Tommy’s smile turned into a frown, confusion pulling at those wrinkles before something calm settled on him. Something understanding. The human gave a small, pitying smile.
“You alright, Wil?”
Wilbur nodded, tracing another wrinkle without a word.
Tommy leaned back into Wilbur’s hand. “Why’d you do it, Dad?”
Wilbur hummed, confused.
The boy’s eyes didn’t leave him. “Why’d you take me in, knowing you’d hurt so bad when I was gone?”
Wilbur’s lips pulled up, the phantom leaning down and pressing a kiss to Tommy’s forehead. “I am no stranger to death. I have to be prepared for many more to come. Eventually, Phil and Techno shall fade away. I made a choice, all those years ago, to love without limits. It is as I said before, stardust, I love you more than the infinite expansion of the universe. More than every split in the time stream. My love for you travels beyond the never-ending unwinding of time. It is, and shall always be, unquantifiable. It will remain, even as both you and I decay. As the universe collapses in on itself, my love shall remain. I suppose I just… I hoped I had a little more time. I was unprepared for the strength of this pain. I’m not… ready. I don’t know if I ever will be.”
Tommy pushed his head back further into Wilbur’s lap, top of his head burying into his father’s stomach. “I’m not dead yet.” He chuckled.
Wilbur smiled, brushing the hair off his forehead. “No, not yet. But your heart is slowing. Everything is… It is a bit selfish of me, isn’t it? I’m not ready to let you go. Me, me, me.”
Tommy just softened. “Death is often more harmful for the living, than for the dead. I don’t believe anyone is ever truly ready. But I had a good life. Brilliant one. The one you gave me. Even if this time period is only a blink to you, it was my everything. Thank you, Wilbur. For showing me the stars. For filling my life with nothing but love.”
Wilbur bent down once more and pressed a kiss to Tommy’s nose. “I’d do it all again, sunshine.”
Tommy looked back up at the stars, Wilbur’s gaze finally following him. “Y’know all you said about… the expansion of the universe and love and all that mushy stuff?”
Wilbur nodded, a smile playing at his lips.
“Well.. I love you all that plus one.” Tommy gave a satisfied, smug smile, Wilbur laughing wetly. Tommy yawned, eyes closing.
“I suppose you win. Let’s get you to sleep.”
Wilbur got up, carefully maneuvering his arms around Tommy’s body and lifting him up. The boy’s head lulled to the side, burying his face in Wilbur’s chest as the phantom carried him back into the ship. Tommy’s fingers curled around Wilbur’s clothes. “Together? I think… I think I don’t want to be alone.”
Wilbur nodded. “Of course, Toms. We can sleep together tonight. Y’know, if you were a phantom, I’d only just be letting you out of the nest.”
The two chuckled, Tommy’s laughter dying down as sleep started to drag him under. Tommy bounced with each of Wilbur’s steps, Phil and Techno giving a quiet good night and the two repeating it before entering Wilbur’s room. Wilbur hummed a soft tune as he walked.
Wilbur set Tommy down, quickly joining in. Wilbur helped Tommy get more comfortable, adjusting the pillows and pulling the blankets around the both of them. Wilbur wrapped his wings around the human, tail curling around his waist. Tommy had grown quite a lot from the small child he was. Going from Wilbur’s knees to his chest. He still fit perfectly with Wilbur. Like puzzle pieces.
Tommy sighed, wrapping his arms around Wilbur, loose fingers gripping the back of Wilbur’s clothes. Wilbur knew, though, that it was probably all the strength Tommy had.
Wilbur leaned forward, kissing Tommy’s cheek. “Good night, my sweet prince. Rest well.”
Tommy smiled, body shaking as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Wilbur cheek before flopping back down. The human’s eyes crinkled. “Good night, Wilby. Thank you for everything.”
Wilbur hated the way it sounded like a goodbye.
Wilbur’s grip on Tommy tightened for a moment, breath caught in his throat. Tommy’s breathing evened out, eyes closed and a content smile on his face as he slipped into sleep. The hands gripping Wilbur’s clothes loosened, going limp.
Wilbur finally managed to grab hold of reality, mind settling down. “You’re welcome. Thank you, for being my star.”
With one final kiss goodnight, Wilbur let himself sleep. Let himself fall into one last peaceful slumber, surrounding Tommy with nothing but his love.
As he always had.
-/-/-/-/-/-
Wilbur opened his eyes slowly, the sense of peace still over him like a weighted blanket. Despite that peace, there was something bubbling uncomfortably beneath the surface. Something heavy slowly rising in his chest.
There was something wet on his cheeks. He pulled a hand out of the blanket, touching his face.
Wilbur was crying.
He didn’t know why. Why was he crying?
Something was wrong. Something wasn’t right. Everything was wrong.
Wilbur opened his eyes fully, landing on the still figure wrapped in his arms. There was a moment. It lasted minutes, hours, merely seconds, Wilbur didn’t know.
But he hesitated. He didn’t know why he hesitated.
He already knew.
Of course he knew.
Wilbur reached a hand forward, cupping a cold cheek. Tears dripped onto the sheets, smacking against them with soft thumps. It was all so quiet.
It fit, in some terrible way. It made sense.
If Wilbur tried, he could almost lie to himself that he was simply admiring Tommy’s soft sleeping face before he’d wake him up.
That those bright blue eyes would open, excited for Wilbur to make him waffles in the morning. He’d always burn them. But it was Tommy’s favorite human food. Tommy never complained.
Tommy never complained.
Wilbur’s hand slid down Tommy’s cheek, running down to his neck.
It was so quiet.
There was so much more to cherish. Wilbur wished he cherished it all more. He missed it already.
Tommy's hair wasn’t as soft anymore.
It was so quiet.
Wilbur’s lips wobbled, stutter breaths entering his lungs.
And suddenly, it was so loud.
Wails, screams, guttural noises leaving Wilbur’s lips as he curled around his son. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.
Wilbur cried, sobs wracking his body as he clawed at Tommy, bringing him as close as he could.
He wasn’t ready.
He wasn’t ready to let go.
It hurt. It hurt worse than any pain he had ever experienced. Wilbur sucked in a breath, coughing violently as he weeped. Ugly expressions of grief, mouth pulled open and eyes wide like the horrors of the universe were pouring out of him.
Wilbur felt as if he was being torn apart. His limbs cracked and creaked as they were slowly pulled off his body. His organs carved out and laying bare to the world.
That would be a mercy. That would grant relief as soon as his arms were off.
But there was no relief. His heart just kept twisting and twisting, rolling around in his chest. His stomach flipped, bile rising in his throat as he gagged.
Grief was everything but pretty.
The door opened, light pouring into the room.
“Wil?! Wil, is everything alright—“ a breath sucked in. “Wil. Oh… oh, Wil.”
Wilbur shook his head, burying his face further into Tommy’s hair. Hands landed on Wilbur’s body, pulling him away. Wilbur growled, twisting out of their hold until he was practically on top of the human. He curled around him, shaking his head as sobs ripped through him.
There were other cries around him, bodies pressing against his sides and hands rubbing up and down his back. Wilbur didn’t care.
He couldn’t care.
The universe was falling before them. It was not him being ripped apart. No, it was the very fabric of space and time. The universe was ending. Why wasn’t the universe ending?
Why hadn’t they been torn piece to piece and scattered across the multiverse? Why hadn’t they imploded yet?
Why wasn’t everything as dark as it should have been?
Why wasn’t it quiet?
Wilbur didn’t know how long it had been that he sat there. The bodies around him had come and gone. Water had been pressed to his lips but he didn’t drink it. There were so many whispers. So many cries that didn’t sound like his own.
Death. A thing so unfamiliar yet something he was so well acquainted with.
Wilbur didn’t understand. With how much it hurt, with how much it felt like death…
Why wasn’t he dead?
He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand how the pain had slowly numbed into something manageable. He didn’t understand how he could stand up. He didn’t understand how his shaking limbs could cradle his son’s body. He didn’t understand how his lungs still expanded.
His mind felt so empty, and yet so full. There was too much to feel, so he didn’t feel at all. There was an uncomfortable, throbbing pain layered under it all. Something he could feel pulsing beneath the surface, but not quite taking on its full power.
Wilbur stepped slowly out of his room. The lights had been dimmed, or maybe it was just the world. Maybe nothing was as bright anymore. His feet felt like bricks, sliding across the cold tile. His body swayed back and forth.
Leaving the room completely opposite of the way he had entered it.
He hummed a tune under his breath, something soft and gentle as he walked Tommy to his final destination.
He hated that he had it prepared, but it was better than having to prepare after the fact.
He walked into a small room, a pod laying in the center of it. It had a glass top, the inside lined with soft cushions. It was open, ready for its occupant.
Wilbur stepped up to it.
It was quiet again. Wilbur regretted asking for it.
He didn’t know what he wanted.
Gently, slowly, Wilbur lowered the boy in his arms. Only a little over 100 years old. Just a baby in terms of the universe.
A blink of the eye. Nothing all that grand.
And yet, Wilbur didn’t believe there could have been anything bigger.
To him, in his universe, Tommy was it all. These years, these laughs and smiles, they were everything.
They’re all that mattered.
Tommy slotted perfectly into place, eyes closed and lips parted ever so slightly. Wilbur placed his hand in front of the boy’s lips, foolishly holding onto hope.
That maybe warm breath would hit Wilbur’s cold hands. Maybe he had been wrong.
Maybe the universe hasn’t ended yet.
But it was cold. All so cold.
Wilbur reached to the bottom of the pod, pulling up a blanket and tucking it around Tommy tightly. It was Tommy’s favorite when he was a kid. Or, a copy of it. Wilbur still had the original.
Safely tucked away in Wilbur’s nest. Where it would remain, for as long as its material would last.
Wilbur backed away, closing the lid. He simply stared at it. At the markings of wrinkles on Tommy’s face. At his unmoving chest.
The door hissed as it opened, Phil’s quiet voice breaking the silence. “We’re at the spot you picked out. Whenever you're ready. Take your time.”
Wilbur hummed. “Are you two ready? Did… did you want to say goodbye?”
Phil’s claws clicked as he walked into the room, standing just beside Wilbur. “We already did, Wil. We’re ready.”
Wilbur didn’t turn to look at him. “How? How are you ready?”
Phil gave a sad smile, intertwining their hands. “Ready isn’t the best word for this, but I don’t believe there is a good description. Death isn’t a distant promise for us. It is something that lives right around the corner. It breathes down our necks. We aren’t ready. We’re… prepared. And no matter how much preparing you do, there are no losses you are ready for. You’re never ready for a future without your child.”
Wilbur turned, letting Phil guide him into his arms. Feathery wings closed around him, Wilbur gripping Phil’s shoulders as his body began to shake once more.
“How am I supposed to live? I can’t… I can’t picture the future. There’s nothing there. It’s all so… empty.”
Phil rubbed up and down Wilbur’s spine. “It is, isn’t it? Empty. But you’re gonna be okay, Wilbur. You’re going to be okay. It’s crushing now, and there will always feel like a piece of you is missing, but it will ease. And you’ll learn to live for the people you’ve lost. No matter what, we'll all still be there. We’ll always be a part of you. Carry us with you. Carry Tommy with you.”
Wilbur sobbed into Phil’s shoulder, holding onto him like a lifeline. Like he’d crumble without him. Maybe he would.
He didn’t know how he had any tears left to cry.
Time passed, Wilbur didn’t know how much, and Phil had parted. Wilbur stood next to the pod, pressing a button. A small whirr filled the room as it began to float, Wilbur pushing it through the door.
The walk was silent. Phil and Techno were waiting on the cargo bay, giving Wilbur a small nod and a pat on the shoulder before walking out. As soon as they were out of the room, the cargo bay opened.
Wilbur gripped onto the pod tightly, being pulled out into the void of space with it. The ship began to move, floating further away as Wilbur flexed his leathery wings. With a small flap, Wilbur propelled them deeper into the nothingness.
It was quiet. The emptiness seemed to surround them, yet it didn’t feel as consuming as the emptiness within himself.
Wilbur flared his wings, crawling to the top of the pod and looking down at the boy inside. The human that had stolen his heart. His son.
His Tommy.
Wilbur carefully pried the glass up, giving a sad smile as he reached inside. His hand cupped the boy’s face. Cold as ever.
It didn’t feel like any words could encompass the grief flowing through him. There was no long speech he could make. Nothing in any of the languages he knew that could ever fit this moment.
But he spoke what he could, nonetheless. He pressed his forehead against Tommy’s, brown irises boring into the human’s eyelids.
“Goodbye, my sweet star. May your light shine upon us all for as long as we shall live. And when we both become nothing but stardust, shall we meet again. Thank you, for being my light. My star. I shall love you, forever and always. Past the end of time. Goodnight. Sleep well. Dream of me, as I shall of you. I’ll watch over you, before I join you amongst the stars.”
Wilbur pressed a kiss to a cold forehead, eyes closed as he lingered there. It was as if letting go would make this all come true. As if leaving would be his choice. To leave. When he could have stayed.
But he had to let go. He knew, since the beginning, he would face the cruel fate of being a parent and having your child die before you. He chose it.
And he was not ready.
Wilbur pulled away, closing the lid and pushing off the pod. He was sent floating backwards, the pod twisting before him as it was pressed deeper into space.
Wilbur’s back hit the ship, righting himself so he was hanging onto the edge. Wilbur could see Phil and Techno waiting inside, staring out of the window towards the pod as it drifted further and further away.
“Shields are up, everything’s ready,” Phil said through the comm.
Wilbur stared only a moment longer before pressing a button on his wrist.
A blinding burst of light filled their vision, the ship vibrating violently as it was pushed back. Wilbur’s grip tightened, teeth gritting as he was shoved further against the wall.
The shields held, and after a moment the light began to calm.
Wilbur blinked his eyes open, facing back towards where the pod was.
Now, a star.
It glowed brightly in the darkness, flames and flares bursting off of it as it roared to life. It fought against the odds and coldness of space, becoming a beacon and mass of nothing but warmth fueled by its own determination.
As was tradition with phantoms and their young.
They would become a star.
Wilbur saw tears float past his eyes, a wobbly smile on his lips.
There he was. Bright as always.
Now forever a mark on this universe. One to remain for eons to come. And one that wouldn't burn out until the end of the universe. And where Wilbur too, would bury himself when the time came.
That would not be for quite some time, however. Wilbur had much life left to live. Many more losses, and much more laughter. Tears of joy and tears of sadness.
All life had to offer.
There was so much to love. And Wilbur would keep loving it all. Perhaps Tommy was too small back then. His body wasn’t grand enough to hold all the love his little heart had to offer.
Perhaps now, shining down on the entire universe, Tommy would fulfill his promise.
Wilbur smiled.
One day. They’d become one again. Two puzzle pieces linked together. Two stars never meant to be apart.
For now, though. Wilbur would bask in the light that shined from Tommy. From the soul he called a piece of his own.
It was comforting, in a way.
Knowing no matter what came, or what happened, Tommy would always be his star.
Always, long past the end of time, Wilbur would love him.