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It was a rather slow afternoon.
“…sometimes I hate this, S- Takeshi…”
After Ippo had uttered those words so quietly and sheepishly, as if he hoped they wouldn’t even reach Sendo’s ears in the privacy of his room, Sendo turned and looked at him hesitantly.
“Ippo, you…you don’t like our relationship?”
“No!” Ippo waved his hands nervously and smiled. “N-no no no! That’s not what I meant! It’s just…” He sighed and paused for a moment. “You know how you see couples out and about…holding hands, sharing food, hugging…”
Sendo sort of knew where Ippo was headed. “Yeah, I do,” he replied as he crossed his legs on the floor.
“Well…” Ippo gulped and began to fidget with his hands. “I wish…we could do that too.”
Sendo sat there a bit to let Ippo’s ruminations sink in. He agreed. Sendo was all about public displays of affection; kissing, holding, playful teasing, it all made him giddy. But Ippo wasn’t the same. Not because he didn’t like Sendo’s affection (any god out there knows he did), but simply because…well, they were a queer couple. And they certainly weren’t out.
So when the two of them went out on a date, they would walk awkwardly shoulder to shoulder, unable to touch or kiss, unable to show the love that a man could reasonably show to a woman in public. And they’d talked about it before, but Ippo shot down the idea to avoid harassment. They certainly weren’t eager to be a part of a huge movement. In their relationship, safety and comfort came first.
But Sendo’s heart still ached for that affection to be shared anyplace he desires. And evidently, it was the same for Ippo, who still had his head bowed anxiously in thought.
Sendo scooted closer to Ippo and put his arm around him. “I…I wish so too. Like, damn, ya don’t know how often I hafta hold myself back from ya when we go out…” It was his goal to lighten the mood a little, lest Ippo become upset, and he had succeeded. Ippo’s quiet laughter afterward was like a gentle kiss to his own unworthy ears.
“But, um, really Ippo, y’know I still love ya, even if I can’t show it…y’know…every hour of the day…” Ippo nodded in understanding and waited for Sendo to continue. “I think, well…as much as I love PDA ‘n’ all, that doesn’t hafta define a relationship, yea?”
Once again, Ippo nodded in agreement and smiled.
“And, hey, I think our private displays of affection are pretty nice too…” Sendo smirked and slipped his arm downward to hold Ippo’s waist, earning a suppressed snicker and a playful smack on the wrist from Ippo. “So, what I mean is, uh…it sucks but…I still gotta find ways to show I love ya…well, I hope ya ain’t like, dissatisfied or…”
“N-no..! It’s alright, Sendo,” Ippo replied with a reassuring smile. “I know you’re right, it just sucks…”
Sendo sat there for a second. It really, really did suck. Damn, those “normal” couples out there didn't know how good they got it.
But Sendo’s hand slid to Ippo’s waist, and in the warmth and comfort of Ippo’s private room, things felt okay again.