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In the courtroom, Judgeman’s voice booms.
“Ryoumen Sukuna, you are under suspicion of commiting adultery and reckless abandonment, while married to Itadori Yuuji. How do you plead?”
Higuruma’s head whips towards him in shock. Sukuna simply smirks. Yuuji feels like he’s stuck in a very odd, but very horrifying nightmare.
What?
What?
Seriously, what is happening right now?!
Let’s rewind.
The plan was simple: drag Sukuna and Yuuji into Higuruma’s domain, then prosecute Sukuna as a co-conspirator of the mass murder of civilians in Shibuya. Yuuji would argue his innocence and lack of control over the situation, and Judgeman would then bestow the death penalty on Sukuna. Higuruma would be granted the executioner’s sword, and with that, they could win.
Yet, when Higuruma released his domain expansion, Judgeman hadn’t put Sukuna on trial for murder.
Instead, he’d put Sukuna on trial for… adultery? And against Yuuji of all people?
Yuuji’s head swims. None of this makes sense. He doesn’t know much about the Japanese legal system, and he’s never been the brightest student – but adultery means cheating on your spouse, right? Which means… is Judgeman saying that he and Sukuna are married?
His first reaction is to ask Judgeman what the hell it’s talking about – but Higuruma shoots him a sharp, pointed look and Yuuji immediately swallows down his words when he catches on. Right. This is a trial now. It doesn’t matter how this ended up happening – if Yuuji starts asking questions, Sukuna could very easily use his own cluelessness against him.
There’s no way they could get the death penalty now, but if Sukuna is found guilty, then Judgeman would initiate Confiscation , sealing away his technique. That’s the best outcome they could hope for, and it could be the chance they need to win.
“I see,” Higuruma murmurs. His voice snaps Yuuji out of his thoughts. The lawyer is holding a manila envelope in his hands – the evidence that Judgeman grants. It’s something only Higuruma knows, and it could also be a dud, so Yuuji can’t put too much faith in it. He tries not to dwell on what the evidence could even be, though that proves to be difficult.
Seriously, how am I even married to Sukuna? Can Judgeman give me some context?!
“It’s the binding vow,” Higuruma continues. His voice sounds grave. “A pact that binds two souls together, which can also be seen as a marriage contract. Am I correct?”
“Who knows?” Sukuna crosses his arms, looking incredibly unbothered. “It’s your domain, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you know how it works?”
Yuuji grits his teeth. Even in this situation, it’s all a game to Sukuna. There’s nothing he wants more than to rush over and slam his fist into his face, shattering bone and drawing blood for all the pain , all the terror he’s caused. But in this courtroom, no violence is allowed, so Yuuji does his best to swallow his anger and try to focus.
Thankfully, Higuruma seems much more composed than he is – the result of years of experience and training in law, no doubt.
“It appears that Judgeman has considered the binding vow made between Sukuna and Yuuji as a marriage contract,” he explains. “I’m unsure as to why… but if the charges laid against Sukuna are adultery and reckless abandonment, then the situation Judgeman is referring to is when Sukuna changed hosts and took Fushiguro Megumi as his new vessel.”
“Correct,” Judgeman states. “Ryoumen Sukuna, how do you plead?”
Sukuna laughs. “My, my,” he muses, four crimson eyes landing on Yuuji, gazing at him like a predator would its prey. “So you’re saying I’ve taken this brat as my wife, hm?”
Yuuji makes a face. Ugh. The mere concept of being Sukuna’s wife sounds utterly revolting. He tries not to dwell on it. It’s not true anyways – Judgeman is just fucking weird , apparently – but for this situation, he has to pretend that he is. This is basically a divorce court – he’s the plaintiff, and Sukuna is the defendant.
“Just get on with it,” he snaps, forcing himself to look Sukuna in the eye. “Answer the question. What’s your plea?”
“Hmm.” Sukuna rests his head on one of his gigantic four arms. “I suppose there’s no harm in playing along with your little game.” He grins, white fangs catching the sharp, fluorescent lights, and announces, “I plead not guilty.”
“A not guilty plea has been entered,” Judgeman’s voice booms across the court. “Defendant. Deliver your evidence.”
“Very well.” Sukuna crosses his arms. “The accusations do not apply to me, as I never considered myself married to the brat. Do you really think that I would lower myself to such a level? It is the equivalent of a king wedding a worm.” He scoffs. “Don’t make me laugh.”
“The same ‘worm’ suppressed you as a vessel, y’know,” Yuuji can’t help but grumble under his breath, feeling a smidge of satisfaction as Sukuna’s four eyes glare murderously at him.
“Objection,” Higuruma calls out, causing both Yuuji and Sukuna to turn towards him. The lawyer adjusts his tie before speaking, voice loud and confident. “The evidence is irrelevant. It has already been determined that you and Itadori Yuuji were married. That is not in question here.”
“Sustained,” Judgeman rules.
Yuuji lets out a sigh of relief as Sukuna scowls. This is good. The King of Curses is strong, vicious, and violent, but he does lack specific knowledge about the workings of the human legal system. Higuruma and Yuuji have an advantage here – Judgeman’s decisions are based on what both parties say in the courtroom, which means all they have to do is present a better set of arguments than Sukuna.
“Fine,” Sukuna snaps. He already looks irritated, the smug expression on his face quickly fading. It’s obvious that he’s not used to being overruled in any sort of decision making.
It’s not so fun when you can’t smash your way out of things, huh? Yuuji internally gloats, savoring every second of Sukuna’s annoyance. God, he wishes Sukuna could wear that stupid expression forever…
“In that case,” Sukuna continues. “If we are to consider this Judgeman’s decision that my binding vow with the brat is equivalent to a marriage contract, then no adultery was committed when I took a new vessel, as I did so within the boundaries of the contract.”
Oh, shit. Yuuji freezes. He’s right, in a way. Sukuna would’ve never been able to take control of his body and switch to Megumi’s if Yuuji had imposed stricter stipulations on their binding vow. He had found the perfect loophole in the contract and had taken advantage of it, and though that fucking sucked , Yuuji’s pretty sure that wasn’t a crime. Technically, Sukuna hadn’t hurt or killed ‘anyone’ during the minute he was free – Yuuji excluded – so that means…
Wait.
“Objection!” Yuuji yells, perhaps a little too loud. He points an accusatory finger at Sukuna. “He’s wrong!”
“Wrong?” Sukuna rolls his eyes. “What are you yapping about now , brat? Don’t pretend it wasn’t your own ignorance that cost your friend his life.”
Yuuji tries his hardest to drown out the words. Megumi’s not dead. He’s not dead. Sukuna’s just fucking with you. Don’t let him get to your head. He grits his teeth and steels himself, before pivoting on his heel to face the looming Judgeman.
“Listen,” he begins. “Sukuna says that he didn’t break the contract because he didn’t technically hurt or kill ‘anyone’ –”
“Yes, thank you for proving my point, brat.”
“– but the contract never defined what ‘anyone’ was in the first place,” Yuuji finishes, pointedly ignoring Sukuna’s taunt. He keeps his eyes trained fully on Judgeman, knowing that if he were to meet Sukuna’s gaze, he’d undoubtedly lose composure. “Sukuna assumed that my safety wasn’t included in the binding vow, but given how vague the wording is, this can’t be determined for sure.”
Sukuna scoffs from where he stands. “Ridiculous,” he snaps. “If I had broken the binding vow, then there would’ve been consequences , brat. The fact that there were no repercussions means I broke no rules. Or are you so stupid that you can’t even get that in your head?”
Ah, shit. Yuuji grits his teeth, trying to think. His head throbs. Ugh, he’s really not made for all of this confusing legal stuff.
Thankfully, Higuruma quickly chimes in. “Whether you did or did not break the contract is still up for interpretation, regardless of the outcome,” the lawyer states. “Perhaps, in the context of taking control of the plaintiff’s body, no rules were technically broken. However, in the context of marriage, the contract formed is still highly misleading. Throughout this entire time, the plaintiff has lived with the understanding that his, ahem, union with the defendant would be exclusive. Thus, it cannot be argued in good faith that this relationship was not a marriage.”
“That–”
“Another thing,” Higuruma interrupts, barely missing a beat, and Sukuna’s expression sours so quickly that Yuuji almost laughs. Honestly, he has to give it to the lawyer – barely a month ago, he was a simple civilian, and now he’s arguing in a court of law against one of the most notorious sorcerers in history.
“Even if we accept that the defendant did not commit an act of adultery, there is still the issue of bad faith abandonment – which the violent, sudden switching of hosts clearly demonstrates.”
Sukuna’s left eyes twitch. “I cannot believe I have to listen to this useless drivel,” he snarls. He flexes one hand, sharp claws glimmering in the lights. “Perhaps I’ll tear out your tongues when this farce of a trial is finally over.”
“Hey!” Yuuji points an accusatory finger at Sukuna. “That’s a threat! Judgeman! You can’t threaten other people in court, right?!”
It’s Higuruma who replies, however, not Judgeman. “Typically, yes,” the lawyer sighs. “But this is a domain, not a real courtroom. While physical violence is not allowed, verbal violence is.”
Sukuna grins at that, lips curling up in a vicious, grotesque smile. “You hear that, brat?” he gloats. “I may not be able to tear your apart now, but rest assured, when I get out–”
“Oh my god, can you shut the fuck up?”
Sukuna freezes. Higuruma’s jaw drops open. Even Judgeman, expressionless as it always remains, seems to give off a sense of amusement at Yuuji’s outburst.
Honestly though, how else do they expect me to react? Yuuji takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves – but goddamn is it hard when Sukuna is prattling on and on about murdering him and ripping him apart. He’s already heard all of this, day in and day out, when Sukuna was stuck inside his head.
To be honest, it’s giving him a very bad sense of deja vu.
“Are you just gonna stand there and gawk at me all day or are you going to move on?”
Sukuna’s jaw snaps shut. For a moment, a dark, murderous aura surges from where he stands – not cursed energy, because that would be a violation of the domain – but rather simple, unbridled rage.
Yuuji sees Higuruma blanch, the prior seriousness in his expression beginning to crack underneath the weight of the King of Curse’s anger. Yuuji, however, remains firm. This isn’t his first time dealing with Sukuna, after all. He knows how to handle him.
It feels like an eternity until Sukuna’s rage finally subsides. “Very well,” he eventually says, voice taut. “I’ll move on , as my dear wife so clearly wishes me to.”
The way he spits out the word ‘wife’ – with so much venom and mockery – makes Yuuji’s skin crawl. He’s obviously trying to get underneath Yuuji’s nerves again, trying to make him snap.
He won’t rise to the bait. He won’t allow this to be an endless back-and-forth between them. He’ll win their court battle here, and when Judgeman expels them from the domain, he’ll win their battle on the outside, too.
“I object to these humans’ claims,” Sukuna states, “on the basis that modern-day divorce laws should not apply to me, a being from centuries ago.”
Well.
This was unexpected.
Yuuji casts a quick glance at Higuruma. The lawyer looks equally lost as he does, brows furrowed. Yuuji had expected Sukuan to keep fighting the technicalities of the binding vow, not pivot to a whole other argument. Can he even do that in court?
His head is throbbing again. Man, he really isn’t built for this kind of stuff.
“In my time, concepts such as ‘marriages’ and ‘divorces’ were not legal requirements. There were no binding contracts, no set of rules to follow. Affairs, abandonment – none of that were penalized. Thus,” Sukuna waves a hand casually in the air, “I should not be either.”
“Wait, so you do admit we were married, then?”
“Shut your mouth, brat.”
“I’m just asking!”
“Overruled.” Judgeman interrupts. “Defendant – while it is true you were born in the Heian Period, you have been reincarnated into a being of the modern age. Thus, current laws apply to you.”
Sukuna makes a face but continues, crossing his arms. “Fine. Then the case has no standing because we were never legally married anyways–”
“Hah? Didn’t you just say we were?!”
“– since the brat is aged underneath the minimum requirement of eighteen years, so the marriage is void.”
Yuuji feels like he’s being battered back and forth between arguments, mind scrambled and unable to keep up. So are we married? Are we not? Which is it, old man! Stop changing topics every three seconds!
“Objection, your honor!” Yuuji yells, slamming his hands down on the stand. “He’s wrong again!”
“Proceed,” Judgeman states.
Yuuji clears his throat. “The minimum age requirement doesn’t apply in our case. Judgeman, think about it.” He turns to look directly at the shikigami. “Obviously, in normal cases, both spouses have to be over a certain age – but our case is far from normal.”
He gestures towards Sukuna. “Now, this fucker is saying the marriage is void because I’m too young–”
“Watch your tongue, brat,” comes Sukuna’s growl. “I won’t tolerate such insolence.”
“Unfortunately,” Higuruma’s voice cuts in, smooth and confident. “You have to tolerate it, defendant. There are no restrictions on what you can or cannot say here – or have you forgotten?”
Sukuna looks like he’s about to pop a vein. He opens his mouth – no doubt about to threaten the both of them again – but before he can speak, Yuuji interrupts.
“ Anyways, ” he moves on before Sukuna has a chance to drag the conversation down again. “As I was saying. Our case is unique since this is a marriage between a human and, well, whatever the hell Sukuna is. He’s from the Heian era, right? How can he make the argument that I’m too young when he’s too old ?”
Sukuna’s head whips towards him. “Didn’t you just say that this court is based on current laws, brat?”
“It is,” Yuuji responds, lightning-quick. “But I’m just saying you can’t make the argument that our marriage is void because I don’t meet the age requirements when you don’t either, cause any human your age would be dead!”
Sukuna splutters. For the first time, he seems to be at a loss at what to say. He makes a few short, aborted noises that sound suspiciously like “fuck” and “how dare you” , but when seconds pass without another argument being raised, it’s Judgeman who eventually cuts in.
“If there are no other rebuttals, then I shall make my final judgment.”
Yuuji holds his breath, waiting. This is it. This is the moment they’ve been waiting for, the moment that will decide everything – and they can win it. Yuuji’s sure. Well, ninety percent sure. Or maybe eighty…?
Wait, no. He forces his thoughts away. He can’t doubt himself. They will win this trial. Sukuna made several good cases for himself, but Yuuji and Higuruma have found counters to every single one. Whether or not they were good counters was an entirely different story, and though Yuuji thinks they were, ultimately, it’s up to Judgeman to decide who had the more convincing argument.
C’mon, c’mon. He anxiously gnaws at his lower lip, waiting. Higuruma stands still, body tense, as if ready to jump into action any moment. They need this win. The penalty may not be a harsh one like they wanted, but it would still give them an advantage in this fight.
Yuuji tries not to think too hard about how this case basically boils down to his and Sukuna’s relationship, and how he’d basically had to convince Judgeman that Sukuna was a shitty husband. Seriously, he still doesn’t really get how they’re married in the first place, but he’ll deal with that knowledge later.
Then, Sukuna moves.
Yuuji’s heart leaps into his chest. Wait, no way – did he come up with a counter argument? Is this case continuing?
But Sukuna simply laughs.
His voice echoes throughout the courtroom, hearty and loud. Two pairs of hands clap together, as if applauding some kind of joke. Somehow, though it’s far from the most threatening thing the King of Curses has said throughout all this time – his reaction sends chills down Yuuji’s spine.
His body moves into a fighting stance on instinct, senses honed to the max.
Something’s wrong.
Why is he laughing?
It feels like an eternity before Sukuna’s laughter dies down. When the King of Curses raises his head to address the room, his eyes burn crimson red.
“If you want to penalize me, shikigami, then do so,” he smirks, cracking his four knuckles together. “Your ruling matters not. Either way,” he turns to face Yuuji, gaze burning holes deep into his soul. “I’ll be dragging this brat back home with me – and maybe teach him a lesson about what it means to be a good wife .”
Yuuji’s mind screeches to a halt.
Wait, wha–?
“Guilty.” Judgeman roars. “Penalty: Confiscation.”
And then they’re out, back amidst the burning rubble and charred earth. “Itadori!” He hears Higuruma yell, and manages to dodge as Sukuna’s fist swings by where his head had been mere milliseconds before.
He leaps back, panting hard, heart thudding in his chest. They’ve done it. They’ve won the trial. They’ve confiscated Sukuna’s cursed technique, which means they have a chance at winning, right?
But Sukuna is still grinning, fangs sharp underneath the glare of the afternoon sun. He twirls kamutoke between his fingers, muscles flexing and rolling as he paces back and forth, ready for a fight.
His eyes never leave Yuuji’s own, not once.
“Well then,” Sukuna purrs, voice rich and low. Though he doesn’t address him by name, Yuuji can’t help but feel like his words are meant for him.
“Let’s have some real fun, shall we?”
