Work Text:
r/HenchmenStruggles
Kid heroes are the worst.
Robin. Kid Flash. Super boy. Water boy. Green girl. Archer girl.
Yeah, yeah. I don't know all their names. Sue me. All you need to know is that you HAVE to avoid them if you watch The Ties That Bind. Or any show for that matter because I bet no one is safe.
I work everyday of the week except for Sundays from dawn till dusk. I'm clearly a hard working person. Now I'm not exactly proud of my line of work but it pays the bills, you know? And on my one day off I like to watch The Ties That Bind with some of my work pals. It's become a part of the routine and we enjoy it.
So tell me how the archer girl goes ahead and SPOILS THE WHOLE SHOW JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE GOING TO MISS ONE EPISODE THE DAY IT COMES OUT? LIKE HELLO? STREAMING SERVICES ARE A THING. JUST WATCH IT LATER. OR EVEN USE AN ILLEGAL WEBSITE LIKE THE REST OF US!
Okay, sorry for yelling. I needed to get that off my chest. Like, I'm not crazy for being pissed off, right? Like sure, they're teens or whatever, but they're old enough to know better. And then because they're the heroes no one bats an eye to this behavior. They just get away with it while us henchmen always get the short end of the stick time and time again.
Comments:
Mewantfood: We need to start canceling heroes! Let our voices be heard! #cancelheroes #cancelartemis
Jim98: I was there when this happened :( all us just stormed off while they stole the flash drive they needed. We didn't even end up getting paid for that.
Intellectualsonly: that show is trash though...?
Flyingtacos201: No you're not crazy. That's just straight up disrespectful. I say we just all team up. They can't stop all of us #cancelheroes #cancelartemis
"Yo, do you see what's trending right now?" Wally asked a couple of days after they got to watch the season premiere of their beloved show.
Dick let out a curious sound, peering over Wally's shoulder to look at his phone screen. Wally let Dick read the screen and when he was done, the both of them were laughing.
"Are you two done?" Artemis asked. "We need to get going right about now." They needed to start getting ready for their mission.
"You might wanna read this," Wally said, reaching out to give Artemis the phone. "It's about you."
"Unless I'm being accused of a crime, I don't really care," Artemis said, raising and brow and pushing the phone away. "We're gonna be late. Let's go."
Wally and Dick shared a wary look until Dick shrugged, smirking a bit. "Suit yourself."
The team just had another covert mission. Nothing special. It was supposed to be easy—boring even— but in the process of spying and moving from one area to another, someone got noticed and suddenly a voice called out, saying, "Hey, you! Stop right there! Guys, guys, it's the spoilers!"
"Great, we're getting a reputation," Dick muttered.
"What?" Artemis said, lost.
"It was a one time thing, man!" Wally insisted to the goon.
More goons were coming in and they looked angry. More so than usual.
Um, Guys, maybe we should go, Wally told the others though the link.
What did you do this time? Superboy grumbled.
Artemis's little stunt seemed to have made a bugger impact than expected, Dick added, looking too amused at the situation.
"Hey! Don't blame this on me!" Artemis argued aloud as they began fighting the goons. "I don't even know what you're talking about."
"You're being canceled!" One of the henchmen shouted as he aimed a punch that at her that she easily avoided. Then another goon came at her. She quickly realized that they were mostly targeting her.
"You think you can spoil The Ties That Bind without facing the consequences?" Another goon said. "Eat my fist!"
"Please," Artemis muttered before knocking the man out. "Could you guys get any cornier? So what, I spoiled a show. You'll live. Plus, it was worth it."
There were a few gasps.
"She's shameless!" Someone hissed.
As the heroes took down a few more henchmen and began running off, someone yelled, "We won't stop until you apologize!"
By the next mission, Artemis received apologetic smiles and annoyed frowns from the team.
"Artemis, I'm sorry, but you will not be joining us today," Aqualad informed her.
"What? Why?" Artemis demanded.
"Why?" Dick question. "Because all of us have been getting harassed by goons everywhere ever since you spoiled The Ties That Bind! I can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe it wasn't worth it."
"I have to agree," Wally added. "Just yesterday I was thrown eggs at just because I'm associated with you."
"I got booed at," M'gann said with a frown. "I think I would have preferred if they had cursed instead . . . The disappointment was palpable."
"Our point is," Aqualad said, "we can't allow you on missions with us until this issue is resolved. You must apologize as these henchmen have been requesting so they may be satisfied and let go of their anger."
"Apologize?" Artemis asked incredulously. "Over a little spoiler? This is so stupid."
"Hey, now," Wally said seriously. "Beth's secret twin is no small matter."
Artemis stormed off, groaning.
r/AmItheAsshole
AITA for spoiling a tv show for literal criminals?
Yes, It's me Artemis. Look, everyone wants me to apologize for spoiling the thing about Beth in The Ties that Bind (I'm not even gonna say what in case you guys freak out again). Before you judge, consider my side of the story.
My team and I were just trying to do a good thing for society, as we always do. But these henchmen (AKA literal criminals???) were getting in the way, so I used a strategy to get them to stop. I spoiled the show. Was it messed up? I guess. But did it work? Yes. And yes, part of why I did it was to get out of there faster, so we could watch the show. But that really shouldn't matter. I'm the good guy here, ok people?
Now leave me alone.
Artemis only read the top comment before throwing her phone.
Mewantfood: Seems to me that you're telling us you're NTA rather than asking us. And the answer is YTA. Henchmen are people, too. #cancelartemis
The team was huddled on the couch, watching the season finale of The Ties that Bind. Although Artemis still liked the show, she felt a bit bitter watching it, knowing it was the reason her reputation was falling to pieces.
"Beth," Ratman whispered as he kneeled besides Beth's injured body. "I'm so sorry. I should have done a better job protecting you from Clown man."
Wally sniffed and Artemis caught herself blinking away a few tears.
"There's no use thinking of the past," Beth said before coughing blood. "In fact, I should stop pretending."
"Stop pretending?" Ratman repeated, confused.
"I'm . . . I'm not who you think I am."
The team silently gasped, tense and waiting for a plot twist.
"What do you mean?" Ratman asked. "Who are you if not my beloved Beth?"
Beth sadly smiled at Ratman, until her smile grew cold. Evil. "I'm Clown man's girlfriend. And this is a trap."
Suddenly a gun was put against Ratman's head. The person holding the gun was Beth's twin. "And I'm not her twin. I'm her daughter! We just look very alike!"
"WHAT!" The team shouted, their eyes glued to the screen. Except for Artemis. She was grinning with a sense of hope.
If Beth didn't have a twin sister, then her spoiler was no longer really a spoiler.
Artemis snatched her phone and went on twitter and found tweets already popping up like crazy.
- Now that I think about it, Artemis didn't even do anything wrong. Don't act like you've never spoiled anything before. -
- Y'all really canceled the archer girl for nothing -
- It's kind of pathetic that you guys were bullying a teenage girl. #Henchmenarelosers -
- See, this is why I could never be famous. I would get canceled in a second -
- Enough about Artemis. Did you guys hear about Aquaman getting caught eating fish? Bro's career is over. -
Artemis let out a deep breath of relief before continuing the show. Dang it, she had missed some good parts already.