Chapter Text
Crystaliqueeen's Danmei Realm Presents:
YOU BE THE ANCHOR THAT KEEPS MY FEET ON THE GROUND
Shang Qinghua has done a lot of shitty things in his life, but this exhausts the line of his carelessness when he accidentally pressed the "Return Home" button presented on the silver platter by the system. The other careless mistake he's made so far? It was accidentally pulling Mobei-jun with him into this real fucking world! Or was it even his fault?
CHAPTER 1: RETURNING HOME
Shang Qinghua knows he can be pretty careless.
He's creative, yes, he knows he's so damn creative that he ended up working and transmigrating into this novel that made him curse his creativity a little. Yes, he's creative, and he's willing to pull little tricks under his sleeve to survive in this world—hell, he's even willing to hug thighs and get beaten three times a day every day to keep living. But there's one thing he knows about himself that he couldn't ever deny.
He's fucking careless.
That's the primary reason why he died in the first place, doesn't it? If he's careful enough not to place the fucking cup noodles near the laptop that day, he wouldn't have had to experience this. Dying from accidentally spilling a noodle, tripping on the wires, recharging his damn laptop, before being electrocuted isn't really creative. But enough about the past. What matters is the present.
"Fucking shit."
Shang Qinghua mumbles those words as he wakes up weakly, only to find himself laying down on a soft hospital bed. There's an apparatus beside him and a dextrose connected to the back of his palm. His entire body feels painful, throbbing even, and he couldn't help but groan in this shitty situation.
Did he get beaten up yesterday that he ended up like a vegetable in this place—oh wait. Wait. Fuck, wait a minute.
Instantly, he recognizes this place.
There's no way in hell an actual hospital with hospital apparatuses exists in Proud Demon Immortal Way's setting when he can just heal himself through his cultivation!
NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS HE!?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—" Shang Qinghua tries to sit down but fails as his body aches again. He realizes that he's not, in any way, inside his novel anymore. He exhales heavily and grits his teeth, "What the hell happened."
He tries not to panic as he digs his brain out for what he did last night. Well, uh, he receives a magical grape-wine gift from cucumber bro with a note telling him that it is his novel's anniversary. He's surprised because even he can't remember when he started writing this novel of his; he's glad a true fan transmigrated with him. Having someone remember the little things in your work is very impressive and heartwarming. Although he knows Shen Qingqiu would deny the fact that he's a fan.
Anyway, he ended up writing an entire logistics report afterward, and around evening, he drinks the wine to treat himself to good stuff. Ah! Cucumber bro has a taste in things like this! Shang Qinghua happily indulges in the wine until he's tipsy. Until he's braver. Until he got the courage to knock on Mobei-jun's room shamelessly while chugging the bottle in his hand.
He remembers the way Mobei-jun's cold glares penetrate through his soul and the way Mobei-jun's entire body freezes even more when he tiptoes and pinches the Northern King's cheeks giddily.
Shang Qinghua's face turns red from the realization of what he did last night. He tries not to yeet himself out of the window from embarrassment as he squeezes his brain for more memories.
The temperature inside Mobei-jun's room is cold, but Shang Qinghua has already mastered the cultivation to control his body's response to low temperature. Anyway, he finally chugs all the wine that he's holding, and he's very brave to slam Mobei-jun's door locked and push the king against the wall.
Aha! Look at that! He's so strong that he can feel the power to manhandle this sexy, massive, packing man without effort. Mobei-jun is now staring at him with sharp daggers, but he didn't do anything other than follow his lead.
Shang Qinghua can tell his face is red from drunkenness, and he's a little thankful Mobei-jun didn't raise his fist to slam him on the floor. Well, it's been a year since the Northern King made him noodles, and since then, he was not being beaten up, so maybe the king has graced him with mercy.
He didn't let Mobei-jun's cheeks go as he laughed like a villain.
"My king, look at you, you're so fuckable with these—these squishy cheeks." He hiccups and laughs. Mobei-jun's expression didn't change. The man is still staring at him with his usual cold but glaring gaze, "I want to bite it. Can I, my king, can I?"
"What have you been drinking?"
Shang Qinghua rolls his eyes but laughs again as he realizes how good he is at rolling eyes, "The blood and tears of my readers. Ha ha! Kidding! My king, come on, you're always so sturdy it makes me want to backflip from here to Cang Qiong! Smile a little with these—these cheeks—holy shit, these cheeks are so soft!"
Mobei-jun glares at him even more, still coldly impassive while letting his cheeks get squished and squeezed repeatedly.
"Damn it! Why did I write you to be so tall! It's hard to just tiptoe, you know? You know!? My feet are now aching. My king, why don't you kneel? That way, I can reach your cheeks without doing much effort!"
"You..." Mobei-jun grits his teeth, lengthening his patience, but Shang Qinghua stares at him drunkenly without a hint of shame.
"Kneel. Come on, don't make me repeat it! I want to squish your cheeks. If you won't, I'm getting out of here and leave and drink and whatever shitty stuff I could do! Or I can squish others' cheeks so I could spare yours!" He's getting impatient, and Mobei-jun's glare intensifies.
Shang Qinghua's expecting the man to push him away, beat him up from such an outrageous request, and throw him out of the room, but all his words get stuck in his throat when Mobei-jun sighs in mild exasperation before kneeling in front of him without any hesitation.
Shang Qinghua freezes, and his eyes widen.
"My—My king, why are you kneeling!?"
Mobei-jun looks at him like he wants to crush him into pieces, but he didn't, good grief, thank god he didn't.
The man silently replies, "Do it."
Do what!? Do what, huh!? Shang Qinghua's eyes widened in realization. Did Mobei-jun really kneel for him to reach his cheeks better? Instantly, his face flushes so bad that he immediately kneels down, too, and holds Mobei-jun's broad and sexy shoulders.
"My king, ha ha! I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Please stand up. You don't have to kneel in front of this lowly servant. Please, my king, come on, stand up. I can tiptoe longer, or you can carry me so my feet won't hurt. You don't have to literally kneel. I mean—yeah, you can kneel, and you look fucking hot kneeling for me like that—but—but it feels so wrong to make a king kneel for me!"
"Fuck!" Shang Qinghua stops himself from reminiscing about what happened last night as embarrassment flows into him so intensely that he feels he's going to have a heart attack and another version of his death!
So, uh, he did squish Mobei-jun's cheeks, and after that, what happened? It's all a blur, and he couldn't remember what he did next. But there's a small, important memory that arrives in his brain cells.
He's lying on the bed while hugging a huge and cold popsicle, still drunk. He was wrapped in a comfortable blanket, and the popsicle in question is breathing comfortably beside him. Shang Qinghua smiles as he hugs the popsicle tighter, resting his head on the popsicle's firm chest.
While indulging in such, a system's message is plastered on his eyes.
Stay. Return Home.
Ah! There's no way in hell that he wants to return home right now, at least not right now when he's having the night of his life hugging a freezer. With a lazy and drunk gaze, Shang Qinghua pressed the "Stay" button happily. He smiles and nods in satisfaction.
Then another message pops up.
"Are you sure?"
Confirm. Deny.
He pressed the "confirm" button mindlessly. He wants to sleep again for Pete's sake!
"Are you super sure? You can't change your answer anymore. Is that your final answer? Think this through and don't blame me if you regret your decision."
Confirm. Deny.
Jeez! What a pain in the ass! Shang Qinghua waves his imaginary hands dismissively before pressing the confirm button multiple times. He needs to sleep and thank cucumber bro tomorrow for the wine. It's been so long since he indulged in such a drink! Highly recommended.
Then another final message pops up.
"Congratulations, you are now returning home."
What the fuck!?
"Ah!" Shang Qinghua groans and slams his head on the imaginary wall multiple times as he realizes how he accidentally (and carelessly) pressed the "Return Home" button because of his drunkenness. Damn it. Damn it!
Okay, he doesn't mind returning home at all. It's not like the world will change once he gets back to this world; it's just that he also doesn't mind staying in his novel. He's honestly considering returning home, really, really considering it, but he doesn't know why he didn't press it back then. But now that he did, accidentally, he feels a little... empty? He isn't satisfied at all with his choice. Being in both worlds didn't matter to him.
But he did—maybe he feels a little ache in his chest knowing that he left someone important in that world.
He wasn't even able to say goodbye to Mobei-jun!
But maybe returning is a good thing. After what he did last night (squishing the king's cheeks shamelessly and making the king kneel in front of him), he's pretty sure Mobei-jun would kill him. Or at least torture him first before killing him. Holy shit, this is the completion of him being killed by the Northern king! Maybe the system helps him stay alive? But no, he's just too fucking careless for his own good.
Now, he feels empty. He feels like—like shedding tears of joy? Tears of sorrow? Whatever that shit is. He feels empty knowing he won't be seeing his king again. He's now in reality.
It feels surreal.
Shang Qinghua closes his eyes and lets his electrocuted body rest for a while.
How the fuck did he feel even more alive in the world that is far from reality?
It feels like everything that happened to him is a fever dream.
It took him a week before he was finally discharged.
It turns out that after his electrocution, all the electricity in the whole apartment building was affected for some reason. One of his neighbors knocks on his door to ask if they can borrow his power bank, and he was found unconscious and was immediately brought to the hospital. Thankfully, his health insurance helps pay for the hospital bills, and when he walks back to his apartment, he is extremely messed up. A little. Maybe.
He couldn't walk properly because a bone on his feet was fractured when he fell unconscious, and now, he's using a cane to walk. Great. How can he attend his part-time job with this? He remembers his stay in the Northern Kingdom where injuries like this can easily be recovered. Whenever he gets beaten up, his energy was able to heal his wound. As time passes by, whenever danger comes to him and he's injured, it is Mobei-jun who would help him and open a portal to find him a healer. His king is very considerate sometimes. Plus his muscular chest and big tiddies inspire Shang Qinghua to live a healthy life.
Fuck, he missed Mobei-jun. Argh, shit, stop getting distracted! Shang Qinghua sighs and slowly unlocks his apartment door.
With a weak and lazy retort, he sees how messy his place is. There are piles of books and paperwork on his main table (a very similar view to his time in An Ding Peak), and his laptop is still open but shut down on his smaller secondary table (similar to a bedside table). Some unclean clothes are hanging on the chair, and there are unthrown garbages piling in the corner.
He mumbled a gentle, "fuck my life," before he slowly cleans his place.
Being an An Ding Peak lord and being the Northern King's trusted assistant made Shang Qinghua a better person. A much more organized person who wants to promote cleanliness and an organized workplace. And so, he ended up cleaning his small but slightly comfortable apartment.
Despite his aching ankle, he manages to finish tidying up after some hours, and he slumps on his bed tiredly afterward. He also carefully charges his laptop (this time, determined to not accidentally kill himself because being electrocuted hurts like shit) and makes himself a cup of noodles to alleviate his hunger.
While eating on his bed, he couldn't help but wonder what happened to the place he left behind. To the people he left behind. It's worth it to name a character after his own name, Shang Qinghua, but he didn't realize he would transmigrate as the man himself! He even uses his own face's description for the character for a web novel’s fun fact idea but—but it backfires entirely when he gets within it!
One more thing, everything that happens, it feels so real, and shit, he feels like tearing up again. Absolutely not because he missed his life there.
It's just that, now—there's no longer thrill in his life. No dangerous experiences except for the late payday. No King who is always cold and glaring at him. No enormous responsibilities like logistics and finance management. Right now, he's no one. He's just Shang Qinghua.
Or maybe, he's back to being the pitiful Airplane Pointing Towards the Sky who has nothing to do except his job to write half-assed porn while watching his fans and anti-fans argue in the comment section all day.
He slurps the noodles. Mobei-jun's cooking is tastier than this because the man personally asked Lou Binghe's recipe just to make the perfect noodles for him.
He sighs again. No matter how shitty his experience with Mobei-jun, he's still the person whom he spent almost half of his life with in that novel. It feels kind of depressing to not have anyone who would listen to your nonsense babbling. Mobei jun may be firm and dangerous, but he's manageable enough to deal with Shang Qinghua's talkative attitude.
Now that Mobei-jun's not here, Shang Qinghua no longer feels like talking nonsense. He's back to using his active mind through written works. He slurps the noodles again. It's been a week. Everything still hasn't sunk in for him.
His mind is still processing everything.
He woke up at almost midnight, unable to sleep again due to the aching in his ankle. He has no choice but to walk to the kitchen and drink some medicine. He uncharged his laptop and sat on the chair to check the current status of his novel.
"Oh, wow," he whispers mindlessly when his notifications are bombarded by tons of new comments. The community dedicated to PIDW is in chaos, and he wonders why. Without thinking, he clicks on the community, and his jaw drops when he finds something out.
LouBinghe'sMonsterCoke: I can't believe the author wrote an entire AU of the story! It's fucking gay, but the plot makes sense this time.
Jijiramen: I honestly think this AU is better than the original story. Thank god, Airplane did justice to their work!
Holymacaroni: Just finished the SVSSS (PIDW's AU) and it's fire! The devil works hard, but the author works harder for us!
There are a lot of comments in that thread. Positive. Negative. Praises. Criticism. Shang Qinghua's brows furrow in confusion because first, what the hell is PIDW's alternate universe? He didn't write an entire AU for PIDW. After finishing the novel some months ago, he dedicated himself to writing side stories for additional chapters and additional money. He wouldn't write an AU because that fucking means he has to start from the start!
Second—wait. Wait. It means every change that happened in the novel was published in the real world?
"Oh shit, this is fucking cool." Shang Qinghua's drowsiness vanishes instantly as he starts checking his profile's works.
As expected, there's a newly published work entitled "Scum Villain's Self Saving System: A Proud Demon Immortal Way's AU," and it's gaining intense popularity. His heart beats fast in excitement and anticipation. He couldn't believe his eyes. Without waiting any longer, he checks chapter one, and his jaw drops when the novel is narrated from Shen Yuan's point of view. Now, he can read cucumber's mind, and it's so fucking chaotic. He laughs and nods approvingly.
He decides to read the novel later as he immediately checks the latest update. His heart skips a beat when it is narrated in the third person's point of view.
The recent chapter is about Shang Qinghua's death.
If he's holding a cup of noodles, he's sure he'll drop it on his clothes. He freezes for he doesn't know how long. His eyes are fixated on the special chapter of the book where the Northern King's trusted assistant suddenly died.
Shang Qinghua's character died in his sleep.
His lips trembled as his heart beats painfully inside his chest. Ah, that's him. That's him. So he died in his sleep, huh? System, you're fucking unfair. Why did you suddenly ask those questions when you know I'm drunk? He sighs and reads the entire special chapter.
It started when the character Shang Qinghua received wine, got drunk, did shameless stuff to the Northern King, fell unconscious because of drunkenness, Mobei-jun carried him to the bed and gently wrapped him in a blanket to avoid waking him up, slept beside him, and died.
What the actual fuck.
Being carried and gently wrapped in the blanket sounds so domestic and romantic! Why wasn't he awake at that time!? That's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!
And what the fuck?
He just died like that!?
There's even no aftermath of what Mobei-jun did when he found out that he died. The last sentence in the special chapter is:
"In his sleep, Shang Qinghua died."
Like how fucking bland is that!? At least write a creative description of how his heart slowly stops beating and all that shit. As an author, he feels very disrespected by how his death is narrated. It could've been better. But nothing will change anyway.
He's dead.
And he has returned home.
All his personal connections in his novel are finally cut. He can't ever go back. He couldn't ever see Mobei-jun again or even his friend, Shen Yuan. He won't be able to live with cultivation again. He won't be able to kick other demon's asses indirectly. He won't be able to fly on his sword. He won't be able to witness the beauty of the Northern Kingdom. He won't be able to see his son Lou Binghe and his other children in that novel. He's back to where he belongs.
This real world sucks.
And he sucks for proving himself that he's lucky in acquiring another dumb way to die charm.
While reading the chapter, he feels his cheeks getting wet with all those realizations. Ah, shit. Why the fuck is he crying again? Shang Qinghua tries to stop his tears, but nothing works. It's midnight anyway; he can just indulge in these emotions. Tomorrow, he can move on and start a new life. He can do that. He can always do that. He had done that multiple times.
He didn't read the comments, nor did he read the first chapter. He just silently turns his laptop off and walks to his bedroom to continue his silent turmoil. He lies down, covers his eyes with his arms, and lets his unspoken emotions stream down his face in silence. His heart aches painfully, and he wishes he could just tear his chest open and throw it away.
He lets his frustrations out.
Like what he's been doing for the past days since he returned home.
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