Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A muffled thud filled the air as the God of Death threw Light Yagami on her bed.

"You're not getting anywhere near my neck with these teeth," said the girl, mockingly wagging her pointer finger at the monster.

"You're such a liar," answered Ryuk, pinning her hands in his much bigger ones.

"Ryuk…" Light said warningly. 

" Light… " said the monster and put his mouth on the girl's neck a second later. 

"Fuck" mumbled Light as the ability to think logically seemed to seep away with the openmouthed kisses.

He unfurled his wings, letting them rest at his sides, cocooning the smaller human with black feathers. 

She sighed against his neck. He knew he won. She was weak for his wings. If it wasn’t for his hands holding hers back, she would’ve been already stroking the feathers with her delicate fingers.

With days she was getting bolder and bolder. 

At first, well…

Light Yagami was a perfect student. She excelled at everything she tried from a very young age. And to keep that streak going she didn’t try anything new that might’ve been more challenging, at least not in front of other people. 

Before asking her parents to sign her up for art classes, she practised painting. Before her first music lesson at school, she locked herself in her room for hours singing softly. 

No one can see her being bad at something if she mastered it beforehand. 

But then the Note fell from the sky. And with it came Ryuk. And he was…

He was so much like her and so unlike her. 

“Ah!” she cut the train of thought when his teeth grazed the shell of her ear. 

It was all new. She met Ryuk at the beginning of December but unbeknownst to her, he’s been watching her since she picked up the Notebook at the end of November.

Well, not really unbeknownst to her because she could feel his stare in public, in her dreams while he watched her sleep and when she was studying, at school, in her room, in the kitchen when she was preparing more (and more) coffee for her study sessions. 

She could feel someone standing behind her when she was washing the dishes. Cold and tall, looming shadow, soft breath on her neck. 

Ryuk still chuckles to himself when he thinks about these days. Light still thinks she’s been under some paranoiac spell at that time. We’ll see if he’s going to be laughing when he tells her about it.

“You’re such an ass,” she mutters, trying to free her hands from under his. “You know I was supposed to be writing some names now.”

“But you like this more, I’m sure” his raspy voice still sending (pleasant) shivers down her spine. He licked her neck while she bit her lip to muffle the moan. 

He rather liked how responsive she was. She was simply fascinating. 

But his cockiness melted away, and with it the smirk he had against Light’s neck, when she sneaked her hands to his most sensitive feathers. 

He grew boneless, barely holding himself from crushing her and moaned softly into the girl’s ear.

“What? Nothing to say?” it was she who chuckled this time. 

He only whined when she dug her fingers into a particularly tight muscle of his wings. 

He was bored of his world. She was bored of the image she was projecting. He was clever and she was clever. He thrived in chaos and she preferred for everything to fit in a neat little box. 

The thing is, she wasn’t a perfect daughter. As the oldest kid she was gifted a lot of attention just for it to be snatched away when her sister came along. And then her dad got promoted to chief. And she was very much daddy’s girl before. Then she got unsupervised access to the Internet. 

Long story short she’s a monsterfucker now. 

So, take that Freud. You didn’t expect that outcome, did you?

Anyways, even Ryuk was surprised that she wanted him. But he didn’t stop her. He was curious as well. And she could work with that. In a few days, he proved himself to be a good friend to her, an even better company and a source of knowledge and entertainment. 

“Light-o…” is all the God of Death could say right now. She looked at him, not stopping with the massage. Just a glance at his eyes told her all she needed to know.

“Yep, he’s a goner,” she thought. “It must’ve been some days since he groomed himself. He’s going to pass out from pure bliss in a second.”

The thought of her doing that to a God sent a wave of heat into her belly. 

If there was one thing Light Yagami loved more than everything - it was to be in control. 

“Ngh!” a desperate sound came from Ryuk as his wings seized for a second. She took out a mangled feather, holding it between the pale fingers.

“Can anyone see it?” Light asked, inspecting the feather closely. 

“While you’re holding it, yes” whispered the monster, fighting sleep, and losing tremendously, he yawned and rubbed at his eyes. Light didn’t know Gods of Death could sleep. “But that’s just because we’re connected via the Death Note, no one else could take it from you or see it without you. But that hardly matters since the feathers melt into the shadows after a while when I normally groom them in the mortal realm.”

“Hmmm,” said the girl. “Well, never mind that then.” 

She crawled from under him, stretching for a second, as she felt his sleepy gaze travel on her body. 

“You want some apples?” She asked, slipping on some house shoes. She already knew the answer but it was fun to see him gain back all of his energy in a second. 

She walked out of her room with Ryuk following her, flying low on his freshly-groomed wings. A low voice of the television could be heard from there.

She walked the stairs and the noise grew in intensity. No more calming but filled with tension. 

She intended to say hi to Mom and Sayu, make a cup of coffee and just grab a couple of apples then go back to her room but the program caught her eye. 

“That was a bold decision on L’s part - “

“Yes but it does not actually prove anything - “

“ - understand, one must consider the consequences - “

“Hi Mom, what’s this?” she asked while grabbing the plain, red mug but her eyes never left the TV. 

“You mean you didn’t see it?” asked Sayu.

“Seen what?” Asked Light, furrowing her brows. “I was busy studying.”

Ryuk, hovering over her, chuckled. Her lips twitched. In annoyance or humour, it’s hard to say. 

“Fifteen minutes ago there was this weird TV broadcast addressed to Kira,” said her sister. “And there was this 'L' guy who was goading Kira to kill him and he said he was going to stop him.”

“Wow,” said Light, pouring coffee. “Did — is he still alive?” 

“Yeah, he’s okay, Kira didn’t kill him so I guess he wouldn’t end someone just because they’re against them.”

“It’s all so terrible,” said her mother.

“Yeah, I can’t believe I missed that, ” said Light, staring daggers at Ryuk who was pretending to not see it, and he was still chuckling. 

She added sugar to her coffee and stuffed three apples into her hoodie, the fourth one in her hand.

“I gotta go study,” she said to the groans of her little sister and the proud but strained smile from her mother.

“Fuck” said the girl, closing the door behind her. Ruyk looked at her from the bed he sprawled on as soon as he entered the room.

He wanted to see her reaction. The ‘L’ person, whoever he may be - it was all very fascinating and definitely cocky on the detective’s part. But it was bound to happen. 

“Some resistance is to be expected,” said Light, her keyboard clicking softly, as she searched for a way of seeing the broadcast she missed. A website or someone’s recording or anything really. “It’s hard to accept the existence of a higher power in the hands of mankind. Playing god and whatnot. Cleansing the world, building something new, something better.”

“You humans have a tendency to fear the unknown and unfamiliar,” said the god. His wings fluttering softly in the non-existent breeze of the room. He moved from the bed, closer to her. “But not you, it seems.”

Light’s lip twitched into a smile but otherwise, she looked as if she didn’t hear him.

With a quiet ‘aha!’ She pulled up the video. 

“My name is Lind L. Taylor, widely known as ‘L’.”

She paused it.

Ryuk’s eyes immediately focused on her expression. She looked intrigued with her brow furrowed but he could see that glimmer of confusion in her lovely maroon eyes.

“If he believes that Kira kills some unfathomable power,” the girl narrated her thoughts for Ryuk. (He secretly enjoyed her little tangents and spiels. But don’t tell Light that, she may never shut up.) “then he should have an inclination, just a little teeny-tiny thought, that it might be unwise to show his face to the public and give his whole ass, government-mandated name out like that.”

With her finger pressed on her lips, she moved her gaze to (her) God.

“It’s not him” she concludes lightly and opens a new tab, typing the name given in the broadcast. 

There were some links to discussion forums already and live TV panels with guests talking about the incident.  

She signed with annoyance. “The ends justify the means, I suppose.”

Ryuk tilted his head in question. 

As the daughter of the chief of police, she knew her way around the law. She also knew about the less lawful things. 

So the obvious thing to do now was continuing the search via the dark web. 

Naturally.

The Shinigami moved closer to the screen, eyes wide and jaws hanging in disbelief.

She glanced at him and huffed a laugh at that reaction.

Light knew her way around this place and under the gore, videos of suicides, criminals asking for advice on how to get away with their crimes and live streams of people harvesting organs from their victims one could find a true treasure of information. Loads of gossip, ‘he said she said’ kind of stories and the news eavesdropped by shady users. All of this underneath the bloody bits. 

After an hour of scrolling, searching and sipping on coffee (which Ryuk sniffed, trying to determine if he should try it) she found something. It took some precious time (she’ll need to write more names tomorrow) and her information wasn’t from the most reliable source, but it is what it is. 

Lind L. Taylor - a criminal on the death row. But the interesting part was the matter of his records which weren’t available to the public or even the press. 

She leaned back and stretched until her back popped. Switching the tabs, Light unpaused the video of the broadcast. 

“But what you’re doing is evil!”

‘L’s’ broadcast ended with the man declaring that Kira must not be all-powerful if he cannot kill him right there, right now.

The silence stretched for a minute or maybe just a couple of seconds.

“Son of a bitch!” Said Light, startling the death god who tried to steal a sip of her coffee. “He tried to goad me into killing a man who to the public’s knowledge is innocent. If I did do that, L would either suspect that I have some sort of access to highly classified files or he and the public would believe Kira to kill anyone who opposes them.”

“And…” she muttered to herself, slumping on the chair. Suddenly Light looked right at the Shinigami. “This is a bit of a stretch but what if he’s experimenting with the killing conditions?”

Ryuk only raised his eyebrow in silent question. He knew there was no point in answering her when she was like that. 

Light loved to ramble and loved the sound of her own voice. He didn’t complain, he also loved her voice. 

“What if… he’s trying to figure out if there are any limitations to the power of killing? And!” Kira stood up and started to pace her small bedroom floor in a circle, “ he wanted to rally the public’s opinion against me.”

Ryuk’s eyes lazily followed her pace (well, mostly her butt, but that’s neither here nor there).

She abruptly stopped and looked at the clock on the wall. Her expression torn between wanting to take out the whiteboard she kept in her closet (a birthday present from her parents, or rather only her mom, dad always forgets her birthday) and getting ready for sleep. Her exhaustion won. 

She took her pyjamas and went into the bathroom. Ryuk didn’t follow her, he rarely did and Light appreciated it. 

She went through the motions and after finishing up her skincare routine the killer made her way into the bedroom, yawning the whole journey there.

After closing the door and plugging her phone she checked on the Note. The paranoia was really setting in (that’s a lie, she’s always been like that, overthinking and all). 

She crawled onto the bed half asleep. These days Light didn’t even need to put on white noise. Ryuk would just curl up close enough to tuck her up in at least one of his wings. (Was he capable of falling asleep? She didn’t know.) That warm feeling (of feathers cares in Light’s face and not the closeness of her Shinigami, nuh-huh, it can’t be that) put her to sleep every time, without fail. 

Chapter Text

Light woke up swaddled by Ryuk’s wings, with his head cuddled against her torso - the rest of his body between her legs while his feet were close to dangling off of the edge.

The thing with this particular Shinigami is - he runs cold. Not extremely but noticeably. He was the definition of the pillow cold on both sides. His feathers, on the other hand, kept her body heat isolated within the cocoon. This delightful juxtaposition of hot and cold was the reason why she was so hesitant to leave the bed.

When her eye cracked open, Light took a quick peek at the god. At some point during the night, he must’ve moved closer, this was undeniable. But did he choose to do so or was it her who dragged him while sleeping? For the sake of Light’s sanity, it was him. Shinigami’s pale face was buried in her Lord of the Rings t-shirt (does he even need to breathe?) but the thing that made her pause was the sound coming out from his chest. A cross between a purr and a chirp.

Light’s eyes opened a bit more as more and more of the world around her was registered by the brain. With that lovely interlude (should she tease him about it?) the girl scooted from the bed without waking her companion. It seemed that she managed to avoid waking him up as he stayed under the blanket, unmoving. However, his chip-purrs quieted a bit. 

There wasn’t much to do before school - she packed and chose the outfit the day before - so she took her outfit and went to the bathroom.

With the freshly washed face, some clarity came back to her mind.

Still, she yawned in front of the small vanity mirror, standing in the most sunlit corner of her room.

“I don’t really see the reason for going to school” Ryuk’s voice startled her to the point of dropping her comb and clutching at her heart.

“You almost gave me a heart attack!” she hissed. (Oh, the irony.)

He only chuckled and flew behind her. Light was looking into his eyes in the reflection.

“You’re wasting time there,” he continued, as though the girl didn't speak. “And I know you’re bored…”

“Bored I may be,” Light rolled her eyes at his ‘observation’. “But I have no other choice - between my father’s reputation and -”

He knew what the human meant. Keeping up with the expectations of her parents. He wasn’t jealous of that. Most Shinigami weren’t into pretending to be something they were not.

Penciling her brows, doing her eyeliner and faux-freckles (those brown pencils were for teenage girls like a 5 in 1 shower gel for grown men) she kept thinking about the image she presented to the outside world.

Yagami Light was perfect. The perfect daughter, the perfect older sister, the perfect student. Pretty, smart, clever, and kind. But while she couldn’t help the way she strives for perfection (her parents wanted her to be perfect, so she was) Light wondered if she had a choice - would she choose perfection?

“Well, fake an illness,” Shinigami interrupted her musings. Lost in his argument, the god started twirling a strand of her brown hair. “You humans often fall ill. It would be natural and not at all suspicious, it is getting colder out there,” the monster pointed to the window.

If Light looked in the mirror, she would've noticed her cheeks pinken, as she was still laser-focused on what he was doing.  But she didn’t need to look, she could feel the warmth on her face. His touch was distracting her.

“No use pretending when it’s already Friday,” the girl said with that ‘I’m so clever’ tone and yet she was mulling over the words.

“It wouldn't be that bad,” she thought while spraying her neck with a favourite perfume of hers. Ryuk leaned to sniff the spot. “I’m already ahead with the material and I could use some extra time to write names and do some research on the ‘L’, as well. 

“Anyway,” she stood up abruptly as Ryuk tried to lick the spot she sprayed with perfume. “I thought gods don’t need to sleep.”

“We don’t,” he said with a wide grin (he was just playing with her then).”But we can, though most of us consider it a waste of time. Which is a bit ironic since back home they waste their time gambling.”

At the silent question, which showed up on Light’s face, he continued.

“They get into the game and gamble away for years on end. They get lost in it,” the tone suggesting that he was above such things himself. “And they forget to write the names and so they crumble away.”

“So, a god of death can die,” the human muttered to herself and then looked up at Ryuk with a playful glint in her eyes.

He shudders, unsure. Yet he floats lower.

And she moves closer.

Their proximity is hard to ignore since Ryuk can feel the heat radiating from that lovely body of hers.

“Light! Breakfast is ready!”

The breakfast was an event. Something like a scene from a Disney Channel show. Sachiko Yagami couldn’t take the news of her children growing up and decided to try and reinvent herself. And that included changing the food the family ate. This month it was North American cuisine. She only did that when it was just them three (which, nowadays, it was more often than not).

Sayu slept with her forehead on the table with her hair almost getting into her plate covered with waffles. Mom had to wake her so she wouldn’t get dirty from the amount of whipped cream the girl put on her food.

While Sachiko Yagami didn’t know the real Light, she least knew her tastes. The coffee maker was running the moment she heard her oldest up the stairs. A steaming mug of freshly brewed coffee (with milk and sugar, she’s not drinking it bitter if she can help it) warmed Light’s hands and newly burned its way down her throat but it was all worth it for that kick of energy later.

Sayu’s tiredness (and with-it clumsiness) provided enough distraction for Ryuk to steal some apple slices. He considered taking a bite of Light’s waffle (to see if he’d like it) but after her last comment before she came down to eat he wasn't sure if pushing his luck was the best decision. When the older of the two sisters finished her portion of toffee-covered waffles, she stood up and chugged the last of her coffee (which startled the rest of the humans. “That must've been unusual of Light to do something so not sophisticated” thought Ryuk).

Taking four apples for her favourite monster, she said her goodbyes and walked out of the house.

After a couple of steps into the street, the girl took out her phone, pressed some buttons, and put it to her ear.

“So, pretty boy,” she said. “Tell me more about your home.”

Ryuk didn’t hesitate for a moment.

“Pretty?” he asked. Her smile was the only answer.

It wasn’t unlike what she’d done before to carry out a conversation with him. The teenage genius usually used spare bits of paper to talk to him in class (she wouldn’t write in her school notebooks - the conversations were usually out of the ordinary) and it was a great way to make sure no attention fell on her during lessons. While in more open, public spaces she’d pretend to be on a call, sometimes throwing in some JSL (which she was learning, but she won't tell anyone that until she masters it). She did prefer the fake phone talk to paper notes. She could easily show her emotions and he could easily read them and even more easily ignore them when he wanted to tease her a bit.

Even if she had to choose her words carefully, he knew the girl enjoyed their conversations. If she didn't - she wouldn't be doing all of that. (Or it could be that she loves to hear herself talk - which, again, Ryuk himself doesn’t mind).

“Well, it used to be more, hmmm… lively,” he answered her question. Matched her pace by floating closer to the ground while still keeping his wings above her head like the world’s weirdest umbrella. “But there was a war and the realm started dying - crumbling away into grey, dusty wasteland.”

“Hmmm, what sort of conflict was it?” Light inquired slowly, changing the keyword. To a third person, this was a conversation between two friends, gossiping or maybe even harmless flirting so ‘war’ wouldn’t quite match the tone.

“I don’t know, it was before my time,” Ryuk said. “The Old Man doesn’t talk about it”.

“Old man?”

“Shinigami King.”

“A monarchy?” a genuine surprise lingered in her voice.

“More or less,” her reaction amused him. “I never wondered why and how it started. It just is…”

“And ‘Old Man’ - why exactly that nickname?”

“He’s my, uuhhh, father?” unsure of the term he continued. “My maker, sire, whatever.”

“Oh!” the surprise changed into playfulness. “Shall I then call you a prince?” Light tried to curtsy without looking like a complete dolt in public. Fortunately, the street was empty enough.

He stuck out his tongue at her and pouted. Light rolled her eyes.

“It doesn’t work like that,” he said but didn’t go on.

It just occurred to the girl that she had no idea how new Shinigami came into existence.

“Besides, if anything, I’d call you a princess,” teased the god.

“I beg your pardon?” The girl’s expression was a mix of embarrassment and amusement.

His eyes softened but she wasn't aware of it as her gaze was stuck to the paved sidewalk.

“People already call Kira their god,” he said. “And you like that.”

This comment made her blush.

“What is the title of a princess when you can be a god?”

That statement stayed with her for the whole school day.

Light was daydreaming more than usual. When Light Yagami picked up the Notebook, when she read the rules, when she wrote down the first name all she had in mind was to change the world. Such a moral decision would be thought for others but Light believed herself to be, maybe not better or different, but rather strong enough to carry the burden of murder. There was no question of becoming something more. She didn’t ask for the title.

She felt the breeze that didn’t ruffle her hair. It didn’t even exist. The breeze. It was more like a hallucination because of the bond with the god. Ryuk was flapping his wings behind her, probably bored out of his mind.

Sitting on the floor criss-cross applesauce in the back he was pouting, glaring daggers at the back of her maths teacher.

Really, no one was paying any attention to the teacher except the Shinigami.

Mr. Watanabe was a bit old-fashioned with massive knowledge but no way to actually share it. To put it simply: He didn’t know how to teach. His classes put everyone to sleep and explained nothing. If anything, they made everything more complicated.

Her classmates had to study on their own. And even if nobody was listening to the teacher that did not mean they were lazing around.

Reviewing notes, reading up on the theory, and doing many, many exercises.

And yet Ryuk was still pouting.

Light flicked her pointer finger in a circle to call the god closer.

He, in his undeniable wisdom, decided that crawling on all fours was the perfect thing to do.

The girl took a deep breath.

“I was wondering about the ruling system of the Shinigami realm,” she wrote on a loose piece of paper. She couldn't have it written in her maths notebook - it would be too weird.

Instead of writing ‘Shinigami’ she scribbled a simple scythe. Ryuk knew the code and was tickled when she first used it.

“As is your right,” the god of death decided to be difficult.

“Ryuk,” it was just his name but the underlining was there to show her displeasure.

“Ugh, you're no fun,” he retorted but moved his wings so he could float above her while being able to see his answers. “Back in the day, we used to have all of those traditions and different jobs. There was even a proper castle.”

“Did you grow up in it?” she wrote next to the solution to question 8 from the blackboard.

“I think so,” he murmured, a bit lost and confused. “But I don't exactly remember.”

“How so?”

“Shinigami developed differently compared to humans.”

“Duh,” she wrote and he flicked her ear in mock anger.

She willed herself not to say anything or react in any way.

A quick look at the ‘ceiling’ told her that Ryuk was not sorry at all but rather satisfied with what he did.

“There are different stages,” he continued. “Each change something in the Shinigami.”

“Funny thing that, she wrote quickly as if she was inspired by the Holy Spirit. “I thought you haven't left the sensorimotor stage since you always shove everything into your mouth.”

Ryuk might not have known about Piaget’s theory of development but the name of the first stage spoke for itself. So, the most logical response was to stick out his tongue at the girl.

“Very mature,” she wrote, although a little shakily since her whole body was fighting giggles as she laughed at her own joke.

The god’s eyes glinted with mischief as he moved closer to her ear.

“Well, there are some things I wouldn't mind putting my mouth to,” he murmured suggestively.

Light’s silent laughter stopped abruptly and her hand flew to her mouth to muffle the sound that was trying to come out. She had to bow her head so her classmates wouldn’t see the blush spreading on her cheeks.

Light signed ‘stop it’ at the monster, who, with a wide grin, was laughing so hard he kept clutching his stomach.

On the way home she picked up more apples for the number 1 annoyance of her life and some canned peaches (which were a surprise for the Shinigami). Her little comment about shoving things into one’s mouth made the girl think about her god’s tastes. He probably didn’t have many opportunities to try something new - and she intended to change that.

Ryuk was chatting away happily on the way but when they ended up in her room he became serious out of nowhere.

“I have to fly back home to check on something, he said, scratching his shoulder. “I should be back during the night.”

She nodded at him, putting her books on the desk for a study session later.

“Want an apple for the journey?”

The question lifted the Shinigami’s mood a bit. He took the fruit and opened the balcony door.

“He can walk through walls, what’s the point in jumping off of my balcony?”

“Don’t wait up!” he threw her a cheeky grin and with a powerful flap of his wings Ryuk took to the sky.

Chapter Text

Saturday morning was crisp and foggy. Light liked to get up early on the weekends to make sure she does everything she needs to do first, and then she can enjoy this free time with no worry.

Brewing her first cup of the coffee of the day, she leaned on the counter and breathed deeply.

Ryuk was still in her bed. He woke her up briefly in the middle of the night but the girl quickly fell asleep again. For a god who said, multiple times mind you, that sleeping is a waste of time - he does seem to enjoy sleeping in on the weekends.

Her mom and sister were just waking up. Light knew that they would go shopping for a few hours, since mom did mention several times how many things she needed for her projects, which include testing new recipes and a new one - knitting. This meant some free time with no need to pretend to study for hours on end. She was already at the top of her school and Light knew she had to keep up appearances but…

But it hurt to know that she had been chasing perfection for so long that she couldn’t seem to imagine herself as anything but perfect.

She’ll still study but not for hours. She doesn’t need to. The fact is - this girl genius just reviews the notes from each and every class, no matter how boring or useless, the moment she gets home from school. This way she doesn’t need to cram the knowledge before any exam. Because it’s already there.

Besides, she promised herself to write some names and research ‘L’ after all.

After a light breakfast, her mom and sister grabbed their things, preparing to go out.

“I think we’ll have lunch there so help yourself to anything in the fridge,” said to her oldest Sachiko. “I saw you bought canned peaches yesterday?”

“Yes, I hope to try a new pie recipe later,” Light smiled at the woman. They weren’t really close. Not ever. As the firstborn child, she had her mother’s attention until the new child appeared. And she wasn’t as sweet and kind as her mother wished her to be. Sayu was the youngest and the best daughter she could've had. Light just had to do her duty and bring honour to the Yagami family name. “If I finish the revision for the English exam on time, that is.”

“You work so hard, Light,” said the woman, clutching at her heart.

“‘Hard’ she says,” thought the daughter. “Not too hard, just hard.”

The fake but well-practised smile grew on Light’s face. She was used to playing the part. This is no different.

Her mother walked out after her youngest shouted at her to hurry up, clearly excited. Before the door could close, the mother said over the shoulder: “You are so much like your father.”

The girl didn’t move from the spot she was standing even after she closed the door. The smile slipped but the shock of such a statement stayed with her. Eyes wide open and mouth in a neutral line she threw a look at her reflection in the mirror. The neutral facade turned into one of furrowed brows and a wobbling bottom lip.

Fighting tears, she jumped up the stairs to get to the safety of her solitude.

The room was exactly as she left it in the morning. The Note was hidden securely, her pyjamas folded neatly and the facemask she chose for later, waiting for Light’s ‘me’ time.

And the lump on the girl’s bed didn’t move an inch in all this time she was ushering her family out of the house.

“Which,” she thought, “thinking about it now, is not like Ryuk at all.”

“Rise and shine Birdie,” she muttered, still cautious as she nudged the top of the blanket peak.

“Ughhhh” the mountain moaned weakly.

“Ryuk?” she asked, freaked out. Sitting closer to the lump of blankets, the girl shook the monster hiding under her black velvet sheets. “What’s wrong?”

His head popped out from under the blanket. He didn't look the best in that moment. Flushed with pinkened cheeks, unfocused eyes and pupils dilated more than usual. Sweat shone on his brows and he was swallowing every couple of seconds.

“I threw up.”

“You – you threw up?”

“Ye – ep, in the backyard?”

“You –?”

“In the bush.”

“You threw up in my mother’s praised roses?”

“Yes?” his voice wavered, unsure and confused by what she was saying to him. And probably by what he was saying to her in the first place.

She closed her eyes and took a big breath.

“What exactly happened to make you throw up?” a question that plagued her mind from the moment she saw his flushed face popped up.

“Mmmm,” he clutched his stomach in response.

“Never mind, you're probably too delirious to even understand what I asked,” she dismissed the avalanche of other questions and concerns that fought to be at the front of her mind at that moment.

She put the back of her palm on his forehead. “That’s concerning. You’re burning up.”

She bit her lip.

“You know it would be the perfect moment to say it is a joke and you’re not really hurt right now Tweety Bird.”

He only whimpered and closed his eyes.

“Wait here,” she ordered and nearly ran out of the room.

His mind was spinning as he tried to detangle himself from the sheets.

“I’m back,” said the girl and a soft thud of something being placed on the desk followed. “I need you to sit up. Can you do that for me?”

He shook slightly. She helped him up and fluffed the pillow to act as a back support.

Then she disappeared for only a second just to then press something cold into his bigger hand.

“Drink,” there wasn’t a hint of hesitation in him. “Slowly,” she added when he tried to drown himself in the glass-worth of the liquid.

The cool water soothed the thirst he wasn’t aware he had. Her hand was covering his as she guided the glass to his lips. When he was finished, she put the cold and empty glass to his cheek.

“I have no idea why you’re sick,” she said in a soft voice. He loved her voice. “No clue what type of illness we’re dealing with here and I obviously don’t know if any medicine will actually help you. But that being said, I think you should drink water and stay in bed for today.”

Light moved the glass from one to the other cheek.

“I’m hesitant to give you anything too heavy to eat,” she muttered. “I can whip out a simple chicken soup but you shouldn’t eat anything sweet.”

He moaned pitifully at the thought. No apples and yet after vomiting up his insides into the rose bush he didn’t feel like eating. Anything really.

But he didn’t remember eating anything else. It was apples with Light but he visited Earth before. So, what had he eaten? Why couldn’t he remember?

“No apples,” she told him sternly. “We should see how your stomach will handle the soup and maybe some bread.”

She stood up and went to her closet. Pulling out extra pillows and blankets she hid from her parents, Light struggled just a bit. It was quite a collection of different patterns, most of them knitted by her grandmother Inko but the most treasured were the gifts from grandpa Hisashi. They ranged from ‘God’s abominations’ to ‘so ugly they’re cute’.

He would give them in secret from Light’s mother and father without reason. He would just see them in a store and they would remind him of her. He’d buy them and smuggle them into their house so skilfully that her parents still didn’t know about their existence, years after his passing.

“Here,” she dumped the pile onto the bed. “Get comfortable and try to sleep. I’ll get started on the soup.”

Once again Light put her palm on his forehead and the monster looked up at her still a little unfocused.

“If you need anything, shout,” and walking out she added, ”and try not to throw up in my bed.”

Ryuk burrowed into the blankets trying to find a good position. Well, a little rearranging wouldn’t hurt. Make this house a home or something.

Light in the meantime had a crisis in the kitchen.

She hadn’t got a problem with finding some vegetables and meat for the soup but the ingredients were never the issue.

The issue was the Shinigami curled up in her bed, delirious with fever, sweating like a teen boy on a first date with his crush. And he had thrown up in her mother’s roses.

After she put the chicken parts into the pot with water herbs and spices, she turned on low heat on the stove and went out to inspect the damage to the flowers.

Outside she found nothing out of order. The roses looked fine, whole and not broken. And more importantly not covered in vomit.

“It must work like his feathers, ” she thought. “Disappeared into the shadows after a second. Thank goodness.”

She ran back into the house before one of her neighbours saw her.

Light took the vegetables from the chopping board and added them to her little cooking experiment.

“I don’t even know how Shinigami’s digestive system works…” she said to herself quietly. “Fuck me, what am I doing? Playing a nurse to a nuisance that’s been following me for weeks?”

The teen stirred the soup a little more aggressively now that she started ranting to no one in particular.

“Irritating me with terrible jokes. And he doesn’t seem to care about anything. Lazing around and then saying he hates anything he deems boring.”

She washed her hands of the carrot chunks.

“Is this a mistake? Should I even be doing all this?”, she said slowly. “I want to make the world a slightly better place but there wasn’t supposed to be all of this extra stuff to it.”

Her hands still smelled of garlic even after washing them three times.

“I don’t want to end this,” she whispered. “Don’t I also deserve some happiness?” she asked the air around her. She wasn’t religious, she didn’t truly believe in karma, if she did she wouldn't be killing people with the Note, but there was something cathartic in yelling into the vacuum of space. If there is a God - all-powerful and all-knowing - she isn’t a fan.

Turning the flame into the smallest glimmer she could, Light took a water pitcher and walked up the stairs aggressively, pushing the door and getting into the room with the vigour of a summer storm.

Ryuk apparently decided to turn her bed into a gigantic nest with himself in the very centre of it. He was cuddling a pillow in the shape of a shark with his wings spread on the surrounding blankets. 

The rage she felt disappeared the moment her eyes found him. She stopped in her tracks, trying to compose herself and make sense of the feelings swelling up in her chest.

Light set down the pitcher next to the glass and leaned over the god of death. With a touch to his cheek, he stirred and looked at her with pupils so blown wide that they nearly swallowed his irises. But this time he looked less confused and even smiled weakly at her.

“You’re still hot,” she said quietly.

“Thank you,” he whispered and smiled wider.

“That’s not what I meant, smartass,” she smiled back, swatting at his nose in mock anger.

“I think you did mean it,” his voice rumbled low with a rasp that suggested the flu rather than the cold was behind his poor health.

“Anyway,” she cut his musings short, “I made you the soup but I’m afraid you’ll need to get out of the bed to eat it.”

She gestured to the door and stood up.

“I never had chicken soup,” he said, getting out of the bed on all fours. “I think.”

“Were you ever sick before?” Light asked.

“I - I don’t know,” he answered and stumbled on the first step down. The girl caught him and let him lean on her as he grabbed the railing. He was heavy and warm. Too warm. But at least he was making some sense now.

“He can’t walk straight still, he shouldn’t be even trying to fly in this condition,” thought the human under the weight of the monster. “I don’t like the way his wings are twitching. What if it isn’t just a regular, run-of-the-mill flu? ”

They made it to the kitchen when she realised she’d need to make up an excuse as to why she made a huge pot of chicken broth when her mother would, inevitably, ask.

Light filled two bowls and set them down on the table, where spoons were waiting. The girl sat across from her monster. He looked a bit perplexed at his spoon.

“Tuck in but be careful, it might still be too hot,” she told Shinigami, trying the soup. It was good, not too spicy since it was supposed to soothe the stomach and not make the god throw up (again). It reminded her of the food her grandma would cook anytime she stayed in her house. God, it’s been a while. She might visit the old lady after the exams.

“How is it?” she asked, suddenly unsure. The last time Light made this soup was when her sister and mother caught a cold at the same time. Father was at work for a big project, some underground operation, and Light was left to deal with that shitshow by herself.

At twelve years old she had to take care of her sick mother and little sister and attend all her classes at the same time. With no lift or help getting the groceries from her beloved father. Getting the medicine and food back home on a rainy evening, it was getting dark quickly and some old guy was staring at her on the bus and –

“ – ight? Princess? Are you okay?” a gruff voice interrupted the memory.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said that I like the soup,” he repeated. “Though I must say it doesn’t beat the sweetness of an apple.”

“And here I thought you had enough of apples since you got to taste them again as you puked them out,” she smiled sweetly.

“Please stop,” he murmured after turning green at the memory.

“Now that you are more coherent,” stood and collected the bowls to put them in the sink. “Would you mind telling me how this ” she gestured to all of him, “had happened?”

He looked at her from half-closed eyes with his head trying to hide itself in his arms on the table. She leaned against the kitchen counter with a brow raised, masking her curiosity.

“I breathed something weird on the way back here.”

“What?”

“Yeah I think that is what must’ve happened,” he sighed and yawned, closing his eyes fully. “I was flying back but through new parts of the Shinigami realm.”

She stayed quiet.

“Well, technically, it wasn’t new but something new grew there,” he yawned again. “Like mushrooms or flowers, or something like it anyway. Bulb. I poked it and it exploded with pollen.”

“Why did you poke it?” Light was messaging her temples.

“It was interesting,” the monster shrugged weekly, fighting to stay awake.

“Of course,” the girl sighed, defeated.

Turning back to the sink she quickly washed the bowls and put them up to dry.

Wiping her hands on her pants, she said to him: “C’mon Tweety Bird, we’re going back upstairs.”

He followed her without a question and got into the bed without fuss but grabbed her hand when she started walking towards the desk.

“Stay?” he asked Light, giving the owner of his Note his best interpretation of puppy-dog eyes.

She stood there staring at his expression. She sighed loudly and took off the sweatshirt with a small bunny threaded right above her heart.

“If you get me sick I’ll kick your ass.”

He smiled triumphantly and took her into his arms and she just rolled her eyes at him.

Settling down she reached for his left wing, carefully running her fingers on the black feathers.

Ryuk melted into the blankets around him with a soft sigh.

Light wanted to get up and write the names but it meant leaving this lovely nest and Ruyk’s heat was making her sleepy.

A quick nap wouldn’t hurt.

Right?

“Light? Oh my, why is it so dark in here?”

The bright light of all the bulbs being turned on at the same time assaulted the girl. She jerked in her blanket mount and groaned pitifully, shutting her eyes tightly.

“Oh dear,” said her mother, turning off the lights. The woman put her small palm on her child’s forehead. “You’re a bit warm.”

“I threw up,’ muttered Light. “Must’ve caught a bug.”

“Oh, did you make the soup?”

“Yeah,” she tried to sit up without drawing attention to the number of blankets and pillows on her bed. “Tried to see if I could eat something light without upsetting the stomach.”

“We should get you to a doctor -”

“It won’t be necessary,” said the girl quickly and sternly. “It’s just a mild case of a stomach bug. Really, I’m fine. Let me just drink some tea and sleep for a day and I should be healthy.”

At the uncertain look on her mother’s face, she added: “I promise.”

“Well, alright darling but shout if you feel worse or need anything.”

“Okay,” said Light when her mother was walking out of the room. “I’d appreciate it if you and Sayu didn’t come into the room. I don’t want to infect you with my germs,” the girl smiled weakly.

“Fine,” Sachiko smiled back. “Let me know if you need anything and I mean anything Light.”

“I will,” Light lied. She always managed on her own. This wasn’t any different.

The mother smiled at her oldest child once again and walked out, closing the door behind her.

Light didn’t go back to sleep immediately. Lost in her thoughts, she started petting Ryuk’s wings which woke him up for a second.

“Wha –?”

“Shhh,” she whispered and ran her finger along one of the longest feathers. “Go back to sleep.”

“Mhmm.”

“I’ve got you.”

Chapter Text

He’s cold again. Delightfully cold - like the other side of the pillow during the night.

The contrast of her body - always too hot to be truly comfortable - and him, acting as her pillow but much bigger and cockier as well.

“Princess,” he blows a cool stream of air at her earlobe. “Wake up.”

“Fuck off,” she murmurs, rubbing her face into the valley between his shoulder and neck.

He chuckles with an annoying rasp to his tone.

“Don’t know what’s so funny,” Light said after yawning but still not getting up. “You weren’t laughing yesterday.”

She could feel his glowing eyes on her as he decided not to dignify her with a comment.

“And I was the one taking care of you.”

“I know,” he squeezed her gently. “Thank you for that.” 

“How are you feeling today? Will you barf into the rose bush again?”

“I’ll try not to. But I am feeling better.”

“Hmmm,” said Light, getting out of bed and out of his arms lazily. “Then I guess you can join me on my wonderful learning journey.”

“What’s on today’s agenda?” he asked while watching as she gathered clothes to change after a shower.

“Well, I’m done with my homework but I still need to figure out L,” said the girl, grabbing a fresh towel and an apple-scented shampoo she kept in her room because Sayu kept stealing it. “Mom should give me space today since I was ‘sick’ yesterday, so I can do some background research on the guy.”

She stopped abruptly in the middle of the room. She held up a finger and spun around in silence searching for something. 

Ryuk looked at her with a lifted brow and a slight smirk. It was quite weird for her to stop talking so fast and look confused. He knew her to be put together, not like this.

Maybe she was actually sick because of him. 

She grabbed a comb from her vanity and, without a word, walked out of the room. 

Now, you have to understand that normally Ryuk wouldn’t bother Light when she was taking a shower. He would snack on some apples, maybe mess with the younger sister, stalk the neighbours or go on a quick flight, getting his wings warmed up by the sunlight.

Not today though. After yesterday’s lack of shenanigans, he was feeling very mischievous. And what better way of using that pent-up energy than messing with his favourite human?

Intangible and invisible Ryuk flew to the bathroom. 

The inside was foggy from the warmth of the water. He could tell that Light was washing her hair by the smell of the shampoo. 

He turned visible in front of her.

Light was just trying to wash off the shampoo when she felt something appear between her and the door of the shower cabin. 

She jumped and nearly screamed when she saw Ryuk’s wide grin so close to her face. Her arms went to cover her chest and lower area.

“Are you incapable of understanding what privacy is?” she whispered angrily at him keeping her volume low in case the water wasn’t soundproofing enough. 

“You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before,” he said dismissively but his expression stayed playful with a hint of mischief to it. “Although it was quite some time previous to meeting you.”

“Oh, so you were a ladies' man back in the day?” Light tried to keep the conversation playful but she really wanted to jab a finger at his torso. Her hands didn’t move an inch and she kept her anger out of her voice while her body remained protectively curled. He was a God and she was just a girl. A smart one and a smart girl knew not to anger a God.

“Oh, not at all,” he tilted his head, his smile turning into a more genuine one. “You’re my first.”

She closed her eyes at his admission, blown away by the sweet warmth of lust curling in her lower abdomen and counted to 10.

Ryuk used that moment to move closer to her. The heat of the water didn’t help at all, his cold aura was overwhelming and her flesh became painted with goosebumps. 

He moved his mouth closer to her neck. She could feel her nipples harden from the cold. Light could feel him staring at her still-covered boobs. 

She locked eyes with him.

“Get out!” she repeated. 

He gave her a wicked grin and captured her lips in a kiss. 

The water continued to fall on their bodies as he pressed closer. The contrast of temperatures was killing Light internally. But not as much as the feeling of his hand tilting her chin so he could deepen the kiss. She sighed into his mouth when his other hand caged her between him and the cold wall of the shower.

His wings came out as well now getting wet under the warm spray.

Some part of her, the one that was responsible for rational thinking, felt as though it was quite unfair that she was standing naked and he just let the water soak his clothes. And it was quite unfair that the already tight clothes were clinging to his body like a second skin. 

Her mind was screaming to get revenge. So she did. 

Light moved the hand covering her nether regions, the monster wasn’t even staring at her cunt so there was no reason to limit her movement so much anyway. Ryuk kept his half-lidded eyes on her face as he was kissing her and his pupils were already unfocused.

She used his lack of awareness to plunge her hand into the most sensitive part of his right wing. 

He nearly keeled over under her assault. Ryuk whined into her mouth and broke the kiss. 

He was panting as she continued to knot her fingers in his feathers. 

“Light,” he whined. It didn’t take much to guess he was overstimulated from the force she put into the ‘aggressive petting’. 

“Now be a gentleman and let me finish my shower in peace.”

This time he kneeled when she twisted a handful of feathers. His gaze never strayed and his pleading eyes were locked with her brown. He nodded pitifully.

“Good boy,” said Light and let him go slowly. The moment he was free from her claws Ryuk turned intangible and went through the floor of the bathroom. 

Light took a shuddering breath after he left her. 

Stuck somewhere between disappointment and fear with a tinge of embarrassment, the girl continued her shower. She washed away the rest of the shampoo from her hair. Scrubbed herself clean while her mind continued on its own journey somewhere far away. 

She hid her face in her hands, trying to regain some resemblance of control. It was hard to pretend she wasn’t moved in any way. The picture he painted when kneeling in front of her made her legs feel weak. 

“This has to be what being high feels like, surely” whispered Light. She couldn’t shake off the arousal that came with the feeling of the absolute power of a literal god. She brought him to his knees, turned the roles around, she was in control even when he had the upper hand from the very beginning. 

“Fuck me,” she said quietly at this realisation. A satisfactory smile danced on her lips. 

“ And yet ,” she thought, “ a relationship would be a lot more serious thing than just casual sex .”

She shut the water off. 

“Why am I like this?” Light whispered to herself as she looked at the reflection in the mirror. Her lips were red, redder than they should be after a shower. She wrapped a fluffy towel around herself. “Why couldn’t I just use the Note without any attachments? Why did I have to fall for this guy?”

Light changed into clean clothes and cast one last look in the mirror.

“Am I even allowed to be with him like that?”

She walked out of the bathroom and almost stumbled onto her sister. 

“Finally!” the younger shouted with joy. “You were there for ages! I thought you’d never come out.”

“Sorry,” said Light sheepishly. “I must’ve lost track of time.”

“Why did it take you so long anyway? Are you still sick?”

“Not really sick but a bit worn out from throwing up all day yesterday,” the elder lied, trying to look tired and not like she was just edged in the shower by a two-meter-tall monster.

“You could go on a walk,” advised Sayu. “I’ve heard it might help.”

“You know what?” answered Light, already moving towards her room. “Maybe I will.”

She closed the door gently like the surge of energy that came after her conversation with Sayu wasn’t making her entire body vibrate. 

Well, the conversation and Ryuk, who was pouting on her bed. 

He wasn’t wet anymore, probably as the result of his intangibility when he went through the floor of the bathroom, the water clinging to his body was left in the shower. But his wings were puffy and his bottom lip was sticking out. 

She couldn’t see his eyes since he was looking at the wall, ignoring her when she walked into the room. 

“Ryuk,” she sighed at that picture. “Seriously?”

The God of Death didn’t say anything, he just crossed his arms tighter. 

“Listen,” said the girl and sat down on the bed as well but on the other end of it. No need to make him feel caged. “This is new to me. And ‘no’ is a full sentence.”

Ryuk looked at her but remained quiet.

“I want to have this with you but maybe we should set some rules?” she proposed. 

“But rules are boring,” he whined, seemingly forgetting about pouting for a moment. He inched closer to the girl.

“Yeah, well, we can make them work for us,” she continued, looking at him for signs he might go back into an aggressive mood. “And if we do it won’t be boring. It will just be for us. But to do that we have to figure out what we want”

“Hmmm, alright,” he said with a curious glint in his eyes. “Shoot.”

“What are we? Are we dating or is it just friends-with-benefits for you?”

“You’re mine,” he said briskly and his wings puffed more. “When you took that note your life became mine to end. We’re bonded.”

“Well, first of all,” Light gritted her teeth. “I am not a thing. I cannot be owned.”

He opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off before he could.

“You may have the right to my lifeline,” her tone lost the angry note as she tried to make him understand, “but I am still a person and I get to choose.”

“And what is your choice?” he asked, confused.

“You,” Light said and quirked a brow at his reaction. The wings went down and feathers calmed down, returning slowly to their smooth style. “I want to have you as my partner. something more than a monster lurking in the shadows. More than a friend.”

His lips pulled into a small smile. 

“But,” the ferocity of her tone returned and made him jump a bit at the change in the mood. “If we are dating we are exclusive. No fucking anybody else.”

“Ohh, so we’re going to fuck?” he asked and smiled devilishly, getting closer to her. He didn’t cage her, technically she could leave the room. But in reality, she could never outrun a god that has the right to kill her wherever, whenever. 

“Eventually,” she said, trying to will down the blush spreading on her cheeks. “Which brings me to another thing. You can’t push me to do things I’m not comfortable with.”

Ryuk tilted his head like a puppy. He looked so monstrous and cute at the same time she wanted to kiss him silly. 

“I’m open to trying new things but please give me time. It’s still so new to me.”

“I’m not exactly Casanova myself,” he said. “Previous to you I didn’t really know much about human pleasure.”

“Then how - how do you know what - ?” she didn’t manage to finish the question but he realised what she meant. 

“What you would like?” Ryuk grinned widely. “It’s equal parts experimentation and research.”

“Wait - research?” she squashed down the mortification of him listening for her whimpers to create a scale of human pleasure. 

“The Internet is a wonderful tool.”

“Have you been watching porn on my computer?” she whisper-screamed at him.

“Yes, and?” he looked at her innocently but the shake of his shoulders gave away his true intentions. How he enjoyed watching her reactions. 

She hit him on the shoulder. 

“Ow,” he mocked her weak attempt at revenge.

She bowed her head to hide the violent blush. But he could see the pinkened tips of her ears. 

“Calm down Princess,” the God murmured while scooping the girl into his arms. Her blush deepened. “I promise I will follow your lead and remember to stop if something makes you uncomfortable.”

They stayed like this for a moment with the God running his fingers down Light’s back. 

“Ryuk?”

“Yes, Princess?

“Stop,” she whined and hit his chest which made him chuckle. “Is this even allowed? There aren’t any rules against such relationships, right?”

“Hmmmm,” the God scratched his neck in thought. “I don’t think so?”

“Why does this sound more like a question than an answer?” Light’s tone turned more accusatory. 

“I don’t know,” he whined when she jabbed a finger at his ribs. “I’m not aware of such a rule and even if it existed it wouldn’t be written in the Note.”

“So technically,” Light murmured, “we can’t be blamed if it exists. As I wouldn’t know it and you aren’t aware then it’s not our fault if we break it.”

“I love it when you get smart,” he said, blown away at the mix of brilliancy and audacity only she could compose. 

“So you love me all the time?” she said cheekily, looking up to meet his eyes. 

Their grins were matching. And as he leaned down his eyes scanned her for permission to continue. She reached towards him to close the gap. 

The kiss was sweet without the urgency. His tongue lazily stroked the inside of her mouth and her hands warmed his chest. His own hands seemed a little unsure at first but Light guided them to her waist, where the monster was happily stroking the soft skin of her belly, under her blue t-shirt. 

“Wait,” she broke the kiss unexpectedly. “You have to tell me if you like what I’m doing too. I can’t just find this stuff on the web.”

“Believe me,” he murmured, “you’ll know.”

He captured her lips once again and she accepted his touch. She debated about sneaking her hand into the feathers but his reaction in the shower made her reconsider. 

“Oh, shit” she broke the kiss once again, this time she seemed scared. 

“What, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he asked frantically, checking his fangs over. 

“No, no,” she patted his hand and tried to untangle herself from his limbs. “I forgot I was supposed to research L today.”

“But Light-o,” he whined but she paid him no mind. 

She turned on her computer and left him to sulk on the bed.

Light grumbled to herself as she was checking the search history for any traces of porn Ryuk might’ve left. She was equal parts curious and angry. She would want to see what he watched only because it was a better alternative than asking him what he saw on the web. 

“ I can’t even think about getting more physical with him without blushing like a medieval maiden ,” she thought, clicking away into the dark web. 

“Hey Light,” Ryuk interrupted her. “Do we have any apples?”

She opened her desk drawer to take out a bowl. 

“Help yourself,” she muttered, distracted by the wall of text in front of her. 

“You’re the best!” the Shinigami nearly squealed with happiness while he grabbed two apples. He sneaked a kiss on the top of her head. 

Light just smiled absentmindedly and refocused on the reading.

The room was filled with crunching sounds as Ryuk was savouring his treat and the clatter of the keyboard. But the typing noises quickly grew more agitated. 

“Fuck!” Light exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Ryuk unsure. He wasn’t yet comfortable with Light being thrown off her rhythm. He liked her being flustered, a blushing and quivering mess. He liked it when she failed to produce a good comeback. But he wasn’t a fan of losing her cool because of someone else. 

“I can’t catch him,” she said, admitting defeat. “He’s like a shadow. There are some stories about his involvement with other investigations but nothing about him. L is more a ghost than a person.”

“Is that such a bad thing? Do you even need to know everything about him?”

“Yes! Well - not really. I guess I can just try to determine his character from the stories but it would be better to know something about him so I don’t do anything stupid.”

“Stupid how?”

“What if he sets up a trap and I walk straight into it?”

“Does he even know anything about you?” asked Ryuk trying to calm the girl.

“He knows I can kill but doesn’t know how,” she brought a finger to her chin. “He was trying to check the conditions of my killing and my location with the broadcast but I couldn’t react in time since I was a bit busy.”

“You’re welcome,” he curtsied with a haughty grin. 

“But he tried to check for specific parts of Japan while for the rest he had one broadcast per country. I guess he suspects Japan as my base of operations anyway since the first “victims” were killed here.”

Ryuk tilted his head. 

“Do you think L will try to get involved personally?”

“Get to Japan and investigate?” she asked. “Well, it’s not impossible but he’d use everything in his power to remain anonymous. And he wouldn’t do it alone.”

“You think he’ll ask the police for help? A guy of his reputation?”

“Maybe not. Maybe he’ll handpick a team he could trust but use at the same time,” those were speculations but they made her brain ich. 

Light stood up and grabbed her bag. 

“What do you say to a stroll through a park, Ryuk?”

He grinned and floated up off the bed.

“Can we buy apples on the way?”

“Sure,” she huffed and rolled her eyes.

Chapter Text

Light was lost in thought during the walk. The air had a cold, sharp edge to it which she'd welcome in any other circumstance. But, now that she was so conflicted it felt like a distraction, set upon her to make her lose her balance instead of providing her with clarity of mind. 

It was hard to think about her next plans since the detective who had opposed her remained a myth to even the darkest parts of the Internet. Guessing wasn’t, in her mind, a strategy but here? She had to make a large number of assumptions to even begin comprehending the mysterious figure.

And it usually didn’t take surging into the dark web to find information about police cases. This L guy was infuriating. How do you plan when you know nothing about your enemy?

After buying more apples for Ryuk from a street market, the pair made their way towards a local park. The fruit was heavy and, from the look of the skin, still fresh. The noises Ryuk was making when chewing was proof of that - and when Light cast a glance at the juices trailing down his chin, she blushed and averted her gaze. The red on her cheeks wasn’t out of place and the girl quickly lost her interest in carnal pleasures, and was swallowed whole by the storm of thoughts.

It was a beautiful location but the temperature dropped this week and most people preferred to stay indoors. Light always preferred colder environments since she ran hotter than others. And when she was overwhelmed, like right now, she felt like she was being crushed by a heatwave, making her thoughts more erratic and movements more clumsy. The cold wasn’t  helping much this time - it was as distracting as Ryuk’s touch normally was. It tried to drag her mind away from the very real, very chaotic problems - ones that would prove fatal if she did not straighten them quickly. 

But when all was considered Light was a good actress and an expert at bottling her emotions. To others she’d be a teenage girl strolling past, enjoying the last days before the exams. Nothing in her expression hinted at the chaos that was unfurling in her mind. But she felt like she was running in circles. How long can she pretend that everything is alright?

“Don’t mess up, don’t look suspicious, defy L’s expectations,” she thought. “But what even are his expectations? How can I prove the detective wrong if I don’t even know him? I don't know his intentions…”

Light kicked at a pebble lying on the path. She looked up to see Ryuk floating in lazy circles around the crown of the trees. That’s what freedom was - a slow ascension into the heavens. A quick thought passed through her mind, that he looked a bit like a self-satisfied pigeon. She squashed a fit of giggles but, unbeknownst to the girl, her gaze softened, and the mind quieting down when she admired the way his wings moved through the crisp air. 

He must’ve noticed her staring because he started showing off his skills by flying in intricate patterns, somersaulting and flexing his muscles. Light just smiled a genuine smile that brightened her eyes. This reaction made Ryuk smile as well. He sent her a kiss and flew off more into the open sky, using their moment of freedom to fly not just hover over sidewalks and streets. 

The girl just shook her head in amusement. She didn’t dare react more dynamically even if the park was quite empty that afternoon. 

Light continued her walk, letting her thoughts settle in her head with each step. If she focused hard enough she could almost fool herself into believing she could feel the thread connecting her to her Shinigami. The girl could feel him flying up high, taking the whole sky for himself. And some part of her felt jealous. If only she could fly up, feel the cold gusts of air blow into her face - then she could have her answers, then, in that moment, her strategy would crystallise from the droplets of information she had into a statue with shape and meaning. 

She stepped off the main path onto a narrow one branching off to the left. It was more hidden by high bushes and trees and on her left a small pond rippled slightly in the breeze. Usually, she’d see ducks and swans swimming in the clear water but now that the edge of it was freezing over she had no idea where she could find the animals. She never even wondered about that before - never had a reason to - this walk made her focus on the weirdest parts of her surroundings. 

She was just getting onto the smaller path when she saw a girl being cornered by a man. Couples weren’t an unusual sight here, since this part of the park was famous for romantic picnics and walking dates, but this girl didn’t look like she was enjoying herself. Light got a feeling in her gut, a primordial, ancient thing that made her pulse quicken and mind shout to run, to get away.

The man was built like a brick wall - tall with bulging muscles and he was towering over the poor girl who looked close to tears. Silently, Light crept closer, cursing her own need to have an answer to everything along the way.

“... you’re going to come with me back to my place.” the man said with a tone that left no room for argument. 

Light realised what was happening in a second but she felt quite powerless to do anything. She didn’t have the note with her; even if she did, she had no clue what this guy’s name was. The only thing she had in her purse was her phone which she could use to call the police but would they be quick enough to help the other girl? The two lone apples sitting at the bottom of her purse were heavy enough to hurt if chucked with enough force at the offender’s head but not to stop him from throwing himself at Light and the blonde girl as well. 

Light needed something to incapacitate that man, so she moved back, hiding from the sight of the two. Should the girl see her she might react unpredictably and betray her position to the man. 

“Come on, there has to be something,” she thought frantically searching near the path and in the bushes. Light was trying to remember if she might have seen something that could be used as a weapon somewhere in the park. All this, while silently hoping the girl would be able to hold off the man for just a couple more minutes.

Misa was not having a great day. 

She was a bit lost since discovering the note and the monster that came with it was peculiar. She wouldn’t call Rem ugly because she wasn’t, it was a beauty that humans couldn’t possess and that made Misa curious. 

All her life she tried to see beauty in everything and everyone, and even when fate threw terrible things at her she tried to stand against anger and spite, to see the glass half-full.

People would say that this would be her undoing. And the moment that man grabbed her arm after she tried to make him leave her alone, Misa knew that the moment had come. 

The date - it was a spontaneous thing, the guy looked nice when he smiled and when he asked her if she wanted to join him for a stroll around the local park, she'd thought ‘why not?’

She tried to come back to the real world after losing her parents and after escaping death herself - she thought she had to get out there and do something, instead of staying stagnant for the rest of her life. 

Now she was fighting to not look scared - these types of men get off on the idea of scaring young women.

But when he moved even closer to her, with his hand out to catch her wrist, there was nothing she could do. 

And then -

“Oh my gosh, bestie, is that you?” a shrill, excited voice cut through the bubble of tension between Misa and the man. 

A tall brunette girl about Misa’s age was almost skipping towards the pair. She was pretty with her long-ish brown hair and high cheekbones, but Misa didn’t know her - not as a schoolmate, not as another model - definitely not as a friend. 

Nevertheless, she pretended to recognise the girl when she glimpsed the sternest leaving her ‘date’. 

“Oh! Hi! I haven’t seen you for so long!” Misa squealed and jumped into her arms, trying to suppress a shudder at the freedom from the man’s touch. 

The girl hugged her tightly and shifted their position so that Misa was standing almost behind her and farther away from the man.

“Oh you know my dad is working on that new murder case. Maybe you’ve heard about it? A lot of men have been killed in this park recently. And the killer is still on the loose! Or was it a different park? No, I think it’s this one. But anyway, how have you been?” The girl kept talking up a storm and pulled Misa towards the main park gate.

“I wouldn’t be staying in this park alone if I were you, Mister! With all the killings and such. But I’m sure you don’t mind me stealing my bestie from you, right? We just have to catch up with the latest celebrity gossip!” The man was entirely confused, but he realised that he couldn’t do anything. Not when Misa willingly left with the strange girl. Not with how many people were looking at the girl with the high-pitched voice going on and on about new dating rumours between two actors of a new TV show. 

“The girl seems nervous,” thought Light as they walk through another crossing. “I just hope he doesn’t follow us.”

The girl was quiet as Light continued to chatter pointless gossip at her, although with each step she lost some of that annoying nasal shrill tone.

“Stupid,” Light reprimanded herself. “What if the guy follows us and finds out where I live? I’d have to kill him and make it as unsuspecting as possible. Urgh, I had to play the hero.”

Light couldn’t really look around for the guy or even for a glimpse of Ryuk without looking suspicious, so she chose to believe the death god was keeping an eye on her from up high. 

“And here’s my house,” Light said, deciding against her better judgment to share the location with this terrified girl. “I’m Light by the way. Never got around to sharing my name. I hope you block the guy because he seems like he’s not into consent much.”

“I – thank you so much,” the blonde girl looked lost for words. “I’m Misa, I… it was a first date, I had no idea he’d – he’d…”

“Misa, hey, it’s okay.” Light grabbed her shoulders lightly after a moment of hesitation. “You looked like you needed help and we girls have to help each other. Listen… if you ever want to talk — about anything really, here’s my phone number. You look like a kind person, maybe a little lost.”

Light scribbled the numbers on the girl’s hand. 

“You’re very nice.” Misa said timidly, still lost after what happened. “You saved me, and I’d love to be your friend.”

Light paused. She didn’t make friends. She didn’t have friends.

“Well, that just happened,” she thought. 

“I don’t want to take more of your time, though,” Misa continued. “but I’m going to text you later.”

“Send me a text when you get home safely.” Light said sternly, almost like talking to her younger sister. It was familiar and she felt comfortable in that protective role. But being friends was too out of her depth for today. Especially since it was such an unexpected social interaction she'd found herself in while in that park.

“I will. Thank you so so much again,” Misa hugged the other girl tightly and nearly sprinted down the street. 

Light stood stock-still in front of the house for a couple of seconds, her gaze fixed on the retreating figure. Friends, huh? Maybe if she was a fan of Kira, Misa could have the potential to be her friend. 

She then turned on her heel and walked inside. 

“Oh, hi, Light,” said Sayu from the sofa. “How was your walk?”

“I think I made a friend?”

“I was worried, you know,” said Ryuk in a gruff and unusually serious tone as Light locked the door of her room behind herself. 

His voice made her jump in fright. Light almost hugged the door in her effort to make herself small in that instant. Her elbow hit the doorknob painfully.

She clutched at her chest in a desperate manner, trying to calm her beating heart. 

Ryuk levitated closer. 

“You wouldn’t even look at me.”

“I couldn’t!” Light scream-shouted. “Normal people don’t look around like that unless they have something to hide. You were out of sight, and I was trying not to scare Misa.”

Ryuk huffed, diverting his gaze away. 

“Why are you making that face?” Light asked. His reaction threw her off her rhythm. Stubbornly he remained silent.

“She wasn’t acting or lying. I was the one who came to rescue her. I decided to be a fucking hero. Even if it was stupid of me.” she explained with fire behind her tone, but the weird look on Ryuk’s face was persistent. “You know something.”

“Maybe I do,” he wasn’t meeting her eyes. Not in a guilty manner, mind you. Just as if she was beneath him to look at. 

“Will you tell me?”

“I don’t think I will,” Ryuk shrugged at her angry sigh. 

“Is it because I helped her? Really? Are you that egoistical?”

“Not really. I mean, it could’ve ended badly for you. You didn’t even have the Note with you. And even if you did, you'd blow your cover,” Ryuk argued. The serious demeanor persisted.

He wasn’t laughing and this wasn’t a game. She’s never seen him like this. It scared her to her core. The animalistic sort of fear. 

“I would not. I could make it look like an accident,” she argued with him but at that moment she'd had no plan B. If she had to kill the man she would’ve had to make it up as she went along.

“But you didn’t have your Note, did you? You couldn’t have known your little plan would work. He could’ve hurt you and that other girl,” Ryuk poked at the holes in her argument.

“Yes, well, my ‘little plan’ worked out pretty nicely. And now I could find out the creep’s name from Misa,” Light knew she was losing the argument. Didn’t mean she would give up on defending her point though. 

“With L searching for Kira far and wide? You’re deluding yourself,” he moved closer, fangs glistening in the light of the sun coming through the window. 

“Okay, maybe it wouldn’t have been easy, but I could still have made it work,” Light said coldly. “Besides, what’s it to you? Are you seriously worried about my cover so much?”

“Yes! Because it would mean the end of our fun before it has even started!” he threw his arms up.

Light shook her head. There was something odd in the way he'd said it but she decided not to dwell on that now.

“So whatever is special about Misa won’t make me blow my cover?”

“I’m not telling,” he mimicked locking his mouth with a key and throwing it over his shoulder. “I don’t want to spoil the fun.”

“You’re an ass,” she resorted to childish insults upon realising he had backed her into a metaphorical corner and the literal wall of her bedroom.

“Careful, pretty girl,” he growled. A shudder went up her spine, goosebumps raising on her arms. “I’m still a god.” 

“All bark and no bite,” she continued in spite of all logic. 

“Oh, I do bite,” his baritone made her weak in the knees. But was it fear, truly? Or something more wicked. He leaned even lower. “But you’d probably like that, wouldn’t you?”

Light’s face was on fire when he said it out loud. Her breath hitched when fangs grazed the edge of her collarbone. 

“But you annoyed me today,” he said straight into her skin. “So I shouldn’t reward you.” 

He leaned away from her to look down on her trembling figure. His smile was too wide. Light’s heart fluttered nervously. She didn’t know if they were playing or not. Was this flirting? She thought they were arguing at first. But then what was this? 

“Don’t wait up for me honey,” he said, eyes glowing and flapped his wings. The wind almost knocked the girl to the ground. She managed to keep her balance, bracing herself on the wall. All she saw was him flying intangibly straight through the ceiling. 

“Shit,” whispered Light when the weight of the situation crashed on her suddenly. Her stubbornness and the need to always be right angered a god. The only other player on her side. The one who not-so-metaphorically held her life in his hands.

The Death Note hidden in her desk suddenly felt more dangerous than ever.