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It all started one morning, a morning Gon would never forget.
Gon had started his day as he always did, opening the curtains to his window and welcoming in the brightness from the sun.
"Good morning sunshine." Gon greeted the sun. Gon then turned away from the window and started to change out of his pajamas into his school uniform, which strangely looked exacty like the green outfit he's always wearing(WTF GON).
As soon as Gon was in his school uniform he made his way down stairs to eat breakfast (um???? bath????)where he was greeted by his first dad Kurapika.
"Good morning Kurapika!!" Gon yelled. Kurapika looked up from his 50 shades of gray book to greet Gon as well.
"Good morning Gon." Kurapika calmly replied. Kurapika already set out Gon's breakfast so that he wouldn't be interrupted from reading his book. He was already at a "very good" scene.
"Oh, Kurapika?" Gon asked. Kurapika looked up at Gon.
"Yes Gon?" Kurapika asked in a tone that masked his annoyance. He didn't want to be interrupted when he was at a very good part.
“I was just wondering where Leorio is. I didn’t see him when I made my way downstairs.”
“Oh, he’s just out grocery shopping. You don’t have to worry about him.” Kurapika answered in a slightly bitter tone. He didn’t even want to think about Leorio after that old quack had insulted his precious book! Who did he think he was?! Calling such a flawless book, 50 shades of gray, a trashy book.
“Oh! Ok!” Gon then sat himself down and started to devour his breakfast which consisted of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. As soon as he was finished he wiped his mouth on his napkin, washed his hands, and got his backpack ready for another eventful day at school!
As Gon was putting his boots on Leorio came in through the door with bags full of food.
“Morning Gon!” Leorio greeted in a very happy tone.
“Good morning Leorio!” Gon replied. Gon noticed that Leorio was in a very good mood than he usually was when he went out to buy groceries
.
“Anything good happen to you Leorio? You look happier than you usually do when you go out!”
Kurapika lifted his head from his book to examine his boyfriend’s expression. It was exactly as Gon had said! His smile was so big that it had almost took up his whole face.
Meanwhile his eyes gleamed with joy. It kind ticked off Kurapika.
“I’m glad you asked Gon!” Leorio answered. “Well you see when I was out I managed to grab the very last box of these for you!” Gon looked up at Leorio with an expression of admiration. Just as Leorio began to pull out the mystery box for his cute son the front door was kicked open and crashed into the back of Leorio. Gon luckily was only a hair away from the damage.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!!!” Leorio screamed. Gon looked on in horror as he saw the broken in half door on Leorio’s back as he was bleeding.
“LEORIO!!!” Gon screamed. Kurapika once again looked up from his book to look at the damage done to both Leorio and the front door. Kurapika didn’t give a fuck that Leorio was on the ground with the broken door on his back. Instead he was happy, he silently thanked the gods for giving Leorio what he deserved. That’s what he gets for insulting 50 shades. Just as Kurapika was about to turn the page to his book someone walked in.
“WHAT’S UP LOSERS!!!” the person screamed. Everyone turned their heads towards the source of the sound and found themselves met with a very familiar figure. It was none other than Killua Zoldyck, the schools shitty delinquent. And also Gon’s best friend.
Killua made his way right in the house, even stepping on Leorio just so that he take the bag that Leorio still strangely had gripped in his hand.
“WHAT THE FUCK KILLUA!!!” Leorio screamed. He felt like he was having his life squeezed out of him.
“Pass over the goods old man” Killua looked down at Leorio with a dark glare. Leorio looked up at Killua with an equally dark glare. He wasn’t handing over Gon’s gift to Killua.
“Fuck off you Linkin Park worshipper.” Leorio spat out. That got Killua really angry because wtf Linkin Park had awesome music! How could Leorio not see the beauty in their music?! Fucking Gendo Ikari wannabe.
“You wanna fucking go?!” Killua screamed down at the poor man who was still bleeding to death.
“Hell yeah! Once I knock you off of me I’m gonna kick your ass and then-“ Leorio cut himself off short because he noticed that something was amiss with Killua.
“WHAT THE FUCK KILLUA?!” Leorio once again screamed that morning. Killua looked down at Leorio in confusion.
“W-what?” Killua asked hesitantly. He noticed that Leorio was staring at him weirdly as if something was wrong with him.
“What the fuck are you wearing?!” Leorio yelled. Killua was basically wearing that one outfit from the Yorkshin arc, and it wasn’t the bad one. It was the one with the pink vest, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem what that Killua-
“Oh my god Leorio! You’re losing so much blood!” Gon screamed. Gon was very concerned for Leorio. He was also trying to divert everyone’s attention to Leorio’s near dead body so that Killua wouldn’t notice anything wrong with his outfit.
“No fucking shit Gon” Leorio said. Leorio knew what Gon was trying to do, and he was having none of it. Killua had to know the truth. However, instead of Leorio asking it was Kurapika who beat him to the punch.
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR PANTS KILLUA?!!!” Kurapika screamed. Gon visibly paled as he watched his chocolate loving friend look down at his self. As Killua saw that he was indeed not wearing any pants he screamed.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
His scream was so loud that everyone could still hear it through their covered ears. Killua was also wearing Barney boxers because secretly he was a Barney fan.
“WHAT THE FUCK?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!” Killua screamed. Killua certainly does not remember not having any pants on when he left the house to go buy himself some chocorobos. If anything he was wearing his light blue pants to go with his pink vest shirt and white blouse. He looked amazing earlier. Killua doesn’t understand what went wrong. If it didn’t happen when I left the house, then it must have happened when I went to the grocery store!! Killua concluded.
But the question is…….
HOW?!
As Killua was trying to figure out how exactly he lost his pants in a grocery store, Gon was silently weeping. Gon didn’t want Killua to notice his pants less state because he wanted to make fun of him for wearing Barney boxers on their way to school. Gon also had “other” reasons for why he didn’t want Killua to notice but we don’t fucking talk about those!
“HAHA PANTS LESS KILLUA!!” Leorio screamed. Leorio felt that even if he was dying at least he got to see Killua act like a dumbass one more time. And boy was it worth it! The brat was wearing Barney boxers. Who even watches Barney anymore in this day and age?!(um me????)
“lol I know right? What a dipshit.” Kurapika added in. Kurapika was really happy to see that not only would Leorio die in like a few minutes but he also got to see that Killua was really a hardcore Barney fanboy all along! What a great day this was turning out to be! Kurapika went back to reading his book so that he could become “even happier”.
“SHUT THE FUVK UP ALL OF YOU!!!” Killua yelled. He was tired of the mistreatment he was currently getting from his friends. Especially since he finally figured out how he lost his pants.
Apparently when Killua ran to the candy isle to get himself some chocorobos, he saw that they had sold out of them and threatened the workers to tell him who the last person was to buy a box of them. To his surprise though he soon found out that it was Leorio (how???) and that he had left the store a while ago. In a fit of rage Killua unknowingly ripped his pants off and ran after Leorio so that he could get his hands on that chocolatey goodness. What a fucking mess this kid is.
Killua cried internally as he realized what a dumbass he really was. Killua suddenly turned his attention towards his best friend. The only person who hasn’t laughed at him. For some reason Gon seemed to shine in Killuas eyes, like there was light surrounding him.
“Gon, you are light!” Killua suddenly said. There was no other reason for Gon to shine so brightly anyway right?
Gon looked up at Killua in surprise as he blushed a little. Was Killua finally making a pass at Gon? Fucking finally!! Thought Gon. Soon Gon and Killua were locking eyes with each other until they were interrupted by Leorio coughing to death.
“OH NO I COMPLETELY FORGOT!!!!”
“lol same.”
Leorios body suddenly started to jerk violently until he stopped completely. Leorio fucking died.
“NOOOOOOO!!!!!” Screamed Gon. As Gon was screaming Killua snuck behind him to pick up the box of chocorobos and ran out of the house. He was now free!
Gon fell to his knees with tears slipping down his face. He couldn’t believe the Leorio was dead. And Killua killed him!
“Don’t worry Leorio.” Gon said out of nowhere “I’ll avenge you!” he finished. Darkness appeared around him and suddenly Gon started to grow large, like really large, he was a fucking bara now! Even his hair was big. Unfortunately though his hair was so big and large that it broke the house. Causing him to kill both himself and Kurapika.
Gons last thoughts as he was passing to the other side were: “WHAT THE FUCK.”
The end?