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”I'm still not sure I'm comfortable with this, babe,” Gabriel muttered, going cross-eyed from trying to see the wire Sam was sticking to his forehead.
Sam paused and looked down at Gabriel in concern. ”If you have changed your mind, please tell me, Gabriel. I promise I will not be upset if you decide not to do this.”
The earnest look on Sam's face was enough to make any arguments die on Gabriel's lips. And they'd been through this so many times already. And most importantly, Gabriel had asked for it.
”No, I want to. We're doing this for me, remember?”
The smile on Sam's face was nothing like the factory-setting customer pleasing ones on other droids. It was a little crooked, a little cheeky and a lot loving. Gabriel would jump into a black hole for this man.
”Yes. I remember.” Sam reached down to give Gabriel's hand a squeeze before going back to attaching the rest of the wires. When the last one was in place he gently helped Gabriel lean back onto the table all the wires were attached to, and sat down on a stool next to him.
”Are you ready?”
”Can anyone ever say they're ready to mind-meld with a spaceship?” Gabriel joked weakly, and Sam rolled his eyes in a way he'd clearly learned from Castiel.
”As I told you, it will merely be an approximation. Nothing will actually enter your brain-”
”Yeah yeah, I know,” Gabriel grumbled playfully, his need to cover his anxiety with jokes rising steadily. ”Let's get this show on the road!”
”If you insist,” Sam said with a smug grin, the little shit-
Light. Bursts and tendrils and colors, all around him. It was so bright it hurt, and he tried to cry out, but he couldn't, and he was drowning in it, the glare so harsh, so painful, no, no more, stop, I can't, ow, help, someone, I can't take it, help, ow, someone... anyone... KALI, HELP!
The glare suddenly dimmed, leaving Gabriel is near-darkness, with only a few small lights bursting here and there, and it felt like he could breathe again, though he had no concept of a body at present. It was freaky as hell.
”I'm sorry, Gabriel. I fear Kali may have overdone it somewhat. Perhaps she was excited, in a way, to be able to talk to you.”
Sam's voice in the near-void was like an anvil off his shoulders, and Gabriel tried fruitlessly to look around, used to depending on his eyes.
”Sam? So it worked? Is this... what is this?”
”I do not see exactly what you see, merely my own interpretation of Kali’s input. But no matter what your senses are telling you right now, it is indeed Kali.”
Gabriel focused on the small lights, some bursting like small sparks, others branching out like tiny lightning strikes or dancing like a child waving a glow-stick in the dark.
”I see lights. Really pretty lights.”
”Kali must be attempting to manipulate your visual pathways. It would seem she wishes to show you something.”
A few of the lights pulsed, larger and brighter, as if in agreement.
”Do you think... can I talk to her?”
”You can. I'm not entirely sure she understands you, but I'm... translating, you might say.”
”Cool. That's... yeah. Cool.” Gabriel felt weirdly awkward suddenly, and struggled to find words that didn't sound completely dumb. ”Well. Uhm. Kali? Hi. I hope you don't mind me popping in?”
”She has been following our preparations, Gabriel. She would have let me know if she was unwilling,” Sam said, frustratingly logical.
”Well, what do you want me to say, then? Bring it on?”
The lights suddenly brightened again, pops of color sparking everywhere, taking shapes that were almost recognizable before zooming away in laser-like streaks. Again and again they swirled and crackled around him, almost, but not quite taking form.
”Kali, you need to get closer,” Sam said, obviously only for Gabriel's benefit. ”Here, let me show you.”
The light slammed into Gabriel, and for a moment it hurt , hurt like ice picks in his brain, but then... then it was gone again, and a pleasant glow was left in its place. Where everything had been a black void before with lights moving through it, it now felt like Gabriel was in the light.
”Wow,” he breathed, his voice echoing weirdly. ”This is beautiful.”
The colors suddenly returned, vibrant and alive, zipping around him over and over again until they finally came together to form... Castiel. At first it was just his face, looking weirdly flat. But then, slowly, it became vibrant and alive, as if being slowly stitched together, one pixel at a time. And there he was. Castiel. Softly reading poetry from a tech-pad to Dean, who took shape almost the exact moment he nodded off, reclined on the bed.
”Is that... that's what they're doing right now? Isn't it?”
In answer the image faded, only to be replaced by Gabriel himself, lying on the table with wires all over him, and Sam sitting close and holding his hand. When the image solidified, Sam looked up, directly towards where Gabriel was watching the scene... and winked.
”Cute,” Gabriel huffed, and Sam's soft laughter echoed through the light.
That image faded too, and for a moment there was just light again. If Gabriel had had a face, he would have frowned.
”Kali?”
Another image burst into life, crisp and real, as if Gabriel was actually there, but incorporeal. It was himself. Younger. Much younger, and lovingly touching the hull of Kali as she'd been the day he bought her.
” We're gonna have adventures, you and me ,” the image murmured with a soft smile, before patting her hull companionably and walking away, the image fading as he left.
Another image formed before that one was even completely gone. This time it was Castiel, baby-faced and shaking, clutching his small bag of belongings. ” It can't be. I can't believe it, brother. How did I not know? There must be some mistake. ”
That same young Gabriel took form next to him, gently herding him in through the hatch so it could close behind them. ” I swear I'll explain later, but right now we gotta go .”
Castiel placidly let himself be guided to the cockpit and sat in the technician's seat while young Gabriel took the controls. ” Hey ,” young Gabriel said to Castiel. ” Hey! Look at me! ” It took a while, but Castiel finally did turn to look at him. ” Do you trust me? ”
The wait would have been unbearable if Gabriel didn't already know the answer. He remembered it like it was yesterday.
” Yes. Yes, I trust you .”
That image faded just as young Gabriel fired up the thrusters with a dull, somewhat rusty-sounding bellow.
Gabriel watched until the final tendrils of the image floated away. ”First meetings, huh?”
The next image took shape as if in answer. It was Sam, just as he inserted the wire connection into his neck the first time he plugged in to Kali. Lights burst around him, and a roar of images surged around Sam, slowing down and speeding up, giving Gabriel glances here and there of the moments Sam was seeing, all of it having happened in a fraction of a second in real life, but obviously being slowed for Gabriel's benefit this time around.
Images flew by like a collage of Gabriel's life.
The Merva Dust shipment that left both he and Castiel sick as dogs for months after shipping it.
The one time Castiel came back from town drunk, and sang dirty songs into the air vent.
The poor border guard who would have shot Gabriel at a moment's notice... but Gabriel shot first, blood pooling on Kali's floor, as red as it had been the day Gabriel frantically scrubbed it off, after shoving the body into Kali's rocket booster pipes where he'd be incinerated at next startup.
Young Castiel crying silently in his bunk, clutching the one family photo he'd managed to take with him.
Gabriel pulling an older Castiel into a frantic hug, locking his arms around him so tight the veins in his arms bulged, until the hug was returned, slower, but no less firm.
Phaser bursts slamming into Kali's hull as Gabriel took off with a scream of rocket engine.
Gabriel jerking off in his bunk. Castiel tinkering in the engine with a frown on his face. Gabriel and Castiel in the cockpit together, sharing a rare high five, although Castiel made sure to roll his eyes too, because he was above that sort of thing, obviously. Passed out drunk Gabriel being tucked in by a sad looking Castiel. Gabriel cleaning his knives and gun with a grim face, and Castiel looking on with a knowing face.
All of it was taken in by Sam, probably in an endless line of ones and zeros that meant nothing to Gabriel in its raw form. But when it all faded into Sam, something else was returned. It was small, multicolored and pulsing, and it floated slowly away into the light, growing slowly larger as it went.
”Sam? What was that?”
”I... I did not realize. I seem to have inadvertently contributed to Kali's increase in self-awareness.”
In response to the words, another shape started to form. It was vaguely female shaped, but no real facial features ever solidified. Instead flames of black and gold licked around the edges, which seemed to flicker in and out in a complicated dance of hands and fire.
”Kali... holy crap, it's you.”
The shape did a little twirl before it faded away.
“Are you.... alive?”
The only answer he got was an image of her old, but perfectly functional power source, still dense with energy, her self-replenishing mechanisms circulating and pulsing, like a heartbeat too fast for human comprehension.
Gabriel felt something swooping in him at the sight. “Yeah. Yeah, baby, you’re definitely alive and kicking. I hear ya.”
Sam’s voice sounded in the light again, almost cautious.
“Kali. Please accept my deepest apologies. I did not intend for you to shoulder the burden of self. I will do my best to make it up to you, if you wish. Is there… anything you want?”
Laughter echoed through the brightness, many voices, loud and happy. Images of Gabriel and Castiel flew by, later followed by fewer, but still plenty, of Sam and Dean. All of them smiling. Happy moments, shared or alone.
The images trailed off to Sam’s own laughter. “As you wish. It should not prove too difficult a goal, since it is obviously one we share.”
Gabriel was pretty sure he would have cried if he’d had the use of a body, currently.
“Is that really all you want? For us to be happy?”
Another long wait later, there was another image, slow to fully form. It was Gabriel at the controls, frenetically checking readouts and twiddling settings, until he finally leaned back in his chair with a gleeful smile. “That’s my girl,” he told the ceiling, before the image faded again.
And is if pulling a plug, Gabriel was suddenly back in his body with a lurch that made all his limbs jerk so hard he would probably have fallen off the table if Sam hadn’t caught him.
“Holy shit!”
“Gabriel, are you alright? How do you feel?” Sam asked, not looking overly worried, but still sporting that tiny wrinkle between his eyebrows that would probably never become permanent, no matter how many years it would appear there to show the world how disappointed Sam was with it on occasion.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Not sure I remember how my limbs work yet, but gimme a minute and I’ll be good. Holy shit on a stick.”
A little wary, Gabriel looked up at the ceiling.
“...Kali?”
The lights flickered, and he burst out a laugh. His spaceship was alive. He was in love with an android and his spaceship was self-aware. If that wasn’t the adventure of a fucking lifetime, Gabriel didn’t know what was.
“That’s my girl.”
END