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Tense silence threatened to choke them as they avoided meeting each other's eyes and stood as far away as they could from each other in the small room in branch’s bunker they'd been locked in.
The queen of pop, and apparently Branch's girlfriend, had declared they needed to actually talk about what happened, specifically about branch's side of things, instead of avoiding it and stepping on each other's toes, instead of pretending what they did was easily forgivable to a certain troll in the room, who had actually asked her for the intervention because he can't take the injustice anymore.
John Dory sighed, leaning against the wall as he spoke, or, more accurately complained, “C’mon Bitty B, i get it, we left you on your own for a while but do you really have to throw a tantrum like this?” of course he didn't understand the gravity of the situation yet, Bruce in a much similar position but Floyd and Clay knew better than to start complaining, because they knew how triggering dismissal is for the youngest. Branch’s eyebrow twitched down at the word tantrum, scoffing, “I didn’t think wanting you to actually feel sorry for what you guys did me was throwing a ‘tantrum’.”
“What! Who said we didn’t? Grandma died, you saw it and you were without us as a result. We get that but you’re fine now, aren’t you? Were actually staying for a while because you wanted us to!”
“Yeah. hate to agree with John, but this is overdoing it, no? I’ll apoligize as many times as you want, and visit as often after i go back home but i really dont know what else you want from us. If it’s trying to make us hurt as much as you did, that’s going to get you nowhere and wont fix ths, branch.” There was a familiar look of exasperation on Bruce’s face, but not in a nice way. He was chiding Branch, once again dismissing him with little importance.
Branch simply pound his fist against the door, shutting them up easily and even flightening them a little, because the thump was heavy with strength.
“Well too bad that’s what I need for you all to feel so you know just how badly you fucked up. Need i remind you i was just a baby when you all left me, i was barely reaching three years old when you all walked out on me,” He didn’t know how to properly express himself, so he did what he did best and ranted on. He pressed his hands against his chest, looking pained as he said,” I didn’t get to even know our parents because i was just an egg when they died. But you know who filled in those roles? Do you know who i looked to for everything because they were the only other family i knew besides grandma?”
And with a sour face, his complexion grey with his mood, he spits out,” you guys. You guys were the next best thing to parents i had next to grandma.” They already knew this, as much as they had wanted branch to think of them as nothing more than brothers. He was only a baby, and he clung to them the most because they took care of him the most. John only sighed, and it only worsened branch’s resentment, “ You guys were there for every hurt, every happy moment, every event up until i was three. How could i have understood what you were each going through? How could i have known you all hated me too?”
“We didn’t hate you!”
“It sure felt like it when you all abandoned me knowing you’re all i've ever had.” a pause, “Grandma died when i was six, just three years after you left. You know why she died?”
“No-”
“Because i was lost in a song. I was practicing my singing, trying to be better, clinging to the hope that maybe if i became perfect,” he sneered the word, glaring directly at john dory, “ You would all come back. You didn’t, grandma had to sacrifice herself in order for me to live, and i was alone,”
“And i went gray.”
Floyd looked like he had already suspected, already known while the other three boys looked horrified at the reveal. “What!? Why didn’t you tell us? You were grey? Branch!!” John dory was nothing but a hot head, and his tone became accusatory even with the worry and despair over his expression. “Hey, back the hell off of him John! He’s already had enough of our bullshit and especially yours!” Clay’s stance became automatically defensive at the raised tone, while floyd only sighed, and walked over to his little brother who didn’t make a peep when he grabbed his hand in a comforting gesture, urging him to continue. It was only then that the youngest sighed, and suddenly looked ages younger as he stared at his feet, resigned and feeling so little under the weight of his unresolved feelings coming up,”You never asked.” he spit poppy’s words back at him, and followed with,
“Why would i tell you anyway? You’ve all only dismissed me, again and again since we've gotten together again. I don’t even trust you guys because you betrayed that trust by leaving me forgotten, by pushing me away when I try to insert myself in these very important discussions. None of you looked back to me to even say goodbye -” the only one who even stayed long enough to do so was floyd, who gave him his vest and promised he’d come back eventually. Even then he’s bitter, even though he can at least understand they could have thought the worst when returning to an empty tree in burgen town. “...i went gray, and no one helped me. No one wanted a weird, freaky kid around because he brought the mood down. No one wanted me. I was alone for those two decades and it’s only been a couple months since i got my color back because of poppy. Even then my ears are forever pointed down, and im a living discolored mood board because my color can’t stay permanent. I’m a mess, and all of you only care about sweeping my problems under the rug.”
John scoffed, reply weak with defensiveness,”You know you’re not the only one who went through a lot so-”
“Of course i do know! That’s why this is about me ! Because then you’ll make it about yourselves and tell me im just being a baby and don’t understand how it is for you!” snatching his hand away, he waves his arms around, trying to express just how upset he is because of them. “I’m telling you i went grey and you dont even care. Im telling you I'm hurt and you're telling me I just don't understand- and I honestly don't because we don't talk.” his expression broke into a pained one, eyes shiny as his voice became thick with sorrow. Bruce looked, finally, like the gravity of it all hit him.
He’s a father to multiple children, and he would never want them to be alone, to feel abandoned and unloved… but he shared a relationship like that with branch. He loved branch a little more than sibling, as branch viewed them as more than just brothers. Branch was their baby, his first experience as a father figure and yet he still did exactly what he never wanted for his children…treated him like shit during the last time they saw each other and abandoned him over a petty argument that was just full of overflowing anger towards john.
He could see branch, the adult version, the product of their neglect. His greyscale hues, his reserved nature, his paranoia, his justified hate and lack of forgiveness.
He couldn’t help but hate john more, and clay shared that sentiment, because with a quick limb stretch, he suckerpunched john in the face, earning gasps. “Clay!” “john, are you okay?”
“You piece of shit!” Clay never looked so furious, glaring down at his older brother with burning hate and resentment while bruce held him back, “Branch is literally telling us to pay attention and you dont care! Our baby went gray, John! He went gray and he had no one and your’e here trying to make it about you!” John held his nose and was ready to argue back, but they were intercepted.
“Clay.” Floyd had branch in his arms, who had hesitantly accepted the much needed hug, looking away and trying to collect himself especially after seeing that. As the second youngest, as someone who also had a grey period in his life, he knew how branch felt to degree, and he knew branch was done, clammed up and tired. He knew he had a rather ferocious glare, one that rivaled john’s as he looked at them with disapproval. “John, you’re only making this wrose for yourself. Clay, you shouldn’t raise your hand as angry as you are with our brother.”
“But Floyd-”
“The only reason we’re even together again is because i almost died. What does that imply about branch’s importance to us?”
“You’re changing the conversation.”
“Im not. This is all connected, actually.” rubbing his baby brother’s back, he says,”Does that imply none of us cared enough? He was born when we were all already teenagers. Does that mean we simply expected him to understand the way we understood each other at that moment? He was just a child, and we were ready to make our own lives while he still needed us to take care of him.” he urged Branch to allow him to see his face, and he could only see the baby he knew, and he smiled sympathetically and wiped away the tears.
“don’t you think you would feel the same in his place? Walked out on without understanding, abandoned because he was just too young to be alone, and going gray with no one to help him? He went grey, and that causes a lot of trauma. Imagine feeling like you have no reason to be happy at six years old, while we were out making our lives our own. When we came back, it was shoved under the rug and he felt like he wasn’t important enough to have been able to talk about his side of the story without you dismissing him.”
With a tender gaze and gestures, floyd kissed branch’s forehead, and with as much sincerity as he could voice, said, “I’m so sorry i failed you the way i did, branch. I promised you i would come back, and while i did to an empty tree, i didn’t make an effort to look for you and deny you were dead from that. I love you so much branch, and im sorry it took so long for me to apoligize for leaving you behind like that.” FInally, Branch cranked a watery smile, despite quickly dissolving into cries and muttering through stilted breaths,”thank you.”
Was that so hard? An acknowledgment of his suffering and an apology? Hesitantly, clay walked over, and with a tiny nod, wrapped his arms around his little brothers, and ran his hand through branch’s black hair that had only a few strands of that vibrant blue visible. “Oh, Branch…Little Baby B im so sorry.” branch didn’t even chide him for the name, testament of how drained he is. “Never did a day go by where i didn’t think about you! I was too scared to ever leave the refuge, and im sorry i was too much of a coward to leave to look for you. Im so sorry.
“And im sorry no one was there to wipe you tears and take you into their arms the way you took them into yours. I'm sorry we took advantage, and took for granted your kindness and patience, just like all the other trolls before us did. I'm sorry that we've ignored the troll you've grown to become” Bruce’s voice was deep, and heavy with regret. He didn’t move to join the hug, instead choosing to stay at a distance to not overwhelm Branch. “I’m sorry i decided to forget about everything i knew to start over. I'm sorry I never acknowledged you more than a part of the boy band past I needed to forget, rather than the baby I left behind. While I don't regret the life I created, I regret that I didn't think about how it would affect you ”
They looked back at John Dory, waiting for him to speak up. There was a long silence where he stared long and hard, and then a heavy sigh,
“I don't know where to start.”
“John Dory!”
“John!”
“Seriously?”
“Hey-hey! Let me get a word out!” facing all of his little siblings, the baby of the bunch… they all had their flaws, but it's clear he failed them all the most. He failed branch the most…the youngest looking at him with those wide glassy eyes, no heat of resentment left, just wanting to understand why he wasn't enough of a reason for them to stay, wanting to know what he ever did to be wronged the way he was. Floyd, clay and Bruce were older and understood why he had wanted them to shine, to sing and preform together and why he wanted to perfect it. Branch didn't.
“I was a coward, Branch.”
Their eyes widened at the admission, and he continued, “I knew where you were, just like I know where Floyd and Bruce were, but I never reached out, not even when you needed me the most. I didn't because I knew I wasn’t what you needed branch. I was punishing myself by keeping myself away because I knew most of the fault is on me know I'm the reason why everything turned out the way it did.”
He touched his chest, and couldn't meet their eyes as he continued, “I'm sorry I tore this family apart, and I'm sorry you had to be in the middle of it all and suffer from it when you weren't involved at all. I'm not an amazing person, far from it, and I fall back on to many bad habits.”
He looked up, met his little brother's eyes and said, “Branch, I loved you so much, I loved you all so much, that I needed to stay away.”
“It didn't matter.” He spat out, bitterly, childishly. Branch scrubbed his face as he mumbled petulantly, “it didn't matter because I wouldn't have been alone. Even if it was you, I at least would've had you.”
“I know that now. I'm so sorry baby. I know you think we're making fun of you for being the youngest by so many years, but it's what you are to us, and always will be no matter how old we get. You're our baby of this family and you deserved more than what you ended up with.”
He hiccups, “I did.”
“I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, to all of you.”
“You better.” John smiled fondly at the petulant pout, and dragged himself over go embrace his baby siblings, prompting Bruce to do the same. Clay apologized quietly by nuzzling his cheek, and in return only got a gentle nip back. Branch didn't cry any more than he already did, but it took a bit for him to fully calm down, nestled in the middle of a cuddle pile and finally given what he had wanted and needed for the longest time.
His color returned, muted but there, and while emotionally exhausted, he was no longer frustrated or bitter about their reunion. He was in the arms of his brothers.
--
When she returned and allowed them out, poppy was pleased to see they made amends with their youngest.
Now that they've been able to speak to Branch, they can start to resolve their own issues with each other and mend those wrinkles as well. Baby steps, of course. A ton of baby steps after this huge, emotional moment.
But steps taken nonetheless.
