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It’s been six months since Emma broke up with Chase, and Bowie has decided it’s officially time to find her a new partner.
When he announces this to his lunch table, Raj and Wayne beam at the thought of helping him with a mission. But Julia and MK frown.
“She doesn’t need a partner,” MK says. “Love is stupid.”
“Aren’t you dating Julia?” Wayne asks.
“Yes, ‘cause I’m literally the best and MK knows it,” Julia says smugly. “Chase, however, sucked sooo bad that I doubt Emma will ever want to date again.”
Bowie shakes his head. “Trust me, if I thought Emma didn’t want to start dating again, I wouldn’t be bringing it up. But the last month, I’ve noticed signs. She gets all gushy when we watch romcoms instead of cynical, she’s even more supportive of me and Raj than usual—”
“Do I need to step up my game?” Wayne asks. “Because I wanna be the number one Bowie-Raj supporter!”
“Don’t stress it, dude. You’re mad supportive,” Raj says, patting Wayne’s arm.
“Oh, good.”
Julia and MK roll their eyes.
“And she’s been looking at more of those couple memes on Instagram,” Bowie finishes. “I think Emma’s ready for a new relationship, and after the disaster of her last one—”
“I think you mean dumpster fire,” MK says.
“No, I think he means train wreck,” Julia adds.
“More like car wreck!”
“Ha!”
Raj frowns. “I think that’s a bit too far.”
“Yeah,” Bowie says, “trash talk Chase without making fun of Emma’s accident. That’s just mean.”
“Did you really expect anything else from me?” MK asks cheekily.
“…Anyway. Seeing as Emma has tragically terrible taste, I thought I could poke around and find a potential partner for her.”
Julia examines her nails. “Do you even know what she’d be into?”
“Pretty much all genders?”
“No, dummy, I mean traits. Personally, I could never date someone stupid. Or a goody-two-shoes.”
MK grins. “Good thing I’m neither.”
“I’m not quite sure with Emma,” Bowie admits. “I’ve been trying to ask her subtly, but right now all I can gather is ‘the opposite of Chase’.”
“But not too opposite, right?” Wayne asks.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, she got with Chase and stuck with him for so long for a reason, eh?”
“That’s… actually a good point,” Bowie says. “So she’d probably be interested in someone who shares some similarities, but a much better personality.”
“Why doesn’t Wayne just date her?” Julia says. “Then you four can go on your lame little double dates instead of dragging me and MK into these conversations.”
“Hey, that’s not a bad idea,” MK says.
“I know. I thought of it.”
Bowie perks up. “Wayne, would you be interested…?”
“Sorry, man,” Wayne says. “Emma’s cool and all, but she’s not my type.”
“Oh. Wait, what is your type?”
“Super buff girls who play hockey. Or wrestle. Either way, they gotta be big and strong and could snap my spine with one hand.”
Julia stares at him. “That is… not what I was expecting.”
“I think your taste in women makes you an honorary lesbian,” MK tells Wayne.
“Awesome!”
“And awfully specific,” Bowie says. “Are you sure Emma’s off the table completely? Because it could take you a while to meet your type of girl…”
“I’m willing to wait,” Wayne says, before clapping Raj on the back. “After all, Rajie waited years before he found himself a tall, handsome, confident athlete who wears lots of purple, and you two are doing great!”
“Aww, do I really fit your type that much?”
Raj blushes, but smiles at him. “Yeah.”
“Get a room,” Julia and MK chorus.
“What’s happening?”
The group looks over to see Emma seating herself next to MK.
“We were talking about our types, and those two were being disgustingly cute,” Julia says. “But we found out Wayne likes girls who could murder him, which was a weird surprise. What about you?”
She winks at Bowie, who gives her a quick prayer-hands gesture in thanks.
“Oh, I don’t think my taste is super specific like that,” Emma says. “After the whole Chase thing, I like people who are kind, and supportive, and will listen to me.”
“And?” Bowie asks.
“Someone who’s funny without putting other people down. Heck, someone who can get along with everyone. I like adaptable people, I guess.”
“And?” Raj asks.
“Well, for all of his many, many faults, Chase did have great hair. I like people with good hair.”
“And?” Wayne asks.
Emma stares at the group. “Uh… I think that’s it? What’s with all the interest anyway?”
“We’re just curious what kind of logic could ever lead to someone dating Chase,” MK sneers.
“Back off, MK,” Bowie says, because Emma’s face is screwing up into her I’m really upset but I don’t know whether to yell at you or start crying expression. “That’s not why we’re asking. The subject got brought up and I realized I didn’t really know my own bestie’s type.”
“Yeah,” Wayne says helpfully. “Besties gotta know besties’ types!”
He and Raj high five.
“Oh,” Emma says, face relaxing. “Well… that’s my type, I guess. I don’t think it’s as specific as Wayne’s.”
Bowie smiles across the table at her. “It was plenty. Anyway, I heard about this party Zee is throwing…”
He goes to Damien first, because Damien is a smart, kind, fairly harmless guy. He’s close friends with Priya and Millie, so he knows how to treat women with respect. And he’s a bit of a fraidy-cat, which means Emma won’t have to deal with an ego as large as Chase’s.
Bowie approaches him as they’re spilling out of their AP Calculus class. “Hey Damien.”
“What’s up, man?”
“You like girls, right?”
“Uh… yes? Why are you asking?”
“Ohhhkay, realizing I was a bit blunt there, but I’m just gonna go with it. You know how Emma’s single? Well, I was wondering if you would be interested in—”
“Emma’s single?”
Bowie stares at him. “Yes?”
This cannot be news to Damien. Emma’s been single for ages!
“Are you serious?”
“Yes,” Bowie says, “and I was wondering if you might want to take her out on a date—”
“That’s a hard no, my dude.”
“Excuse me? Look, it’s fine if you’re not interested, but don’t diss my best friend.”
“I’m not!” Damien exclaims. “I just don’t date girls on the rebound. Also, bro code!”
“It’s been six months, she’s not on the rebound. And since when are you buddy-buddy with Chase?”
“…What?”
“What?”
“What?”
Baffled, Bowie shakes his head. “You know what? Never mind.”
Okay, he thinks as he strides away, so that’s a no on Damien, which is okay, because there’s lots of other options at school. Like… like Caleb! He’s a nice dude, super supportive of his besties Axel and Nichelle—another tally in the respecting women column—not to mention he’s crazy hot. And smart! And Emma and I both had crushes on him our freshman year… okay, Caleb it is!
Bowie finds Caleb in the library, poring over a science textbook. Ugh. He may be on the honor roll, but that thing looks dense, and harder to read than a contract. Plus, who uses physical textbooks anymore? Digital ones are better for the environment. And for the backs of high schoolers everywhere.
“Hey,” Bowie whispers, breaking Caleb from his concentration.
“Oh, hey,” Caleb says, looking up. “What’s going on?”
I gotta be more subtle here, considering where bluntness got me with Damien…
“Well, I’m just curious about any thoughts you have on Emma.”
“Her undercut looks cool. It’s got Axel thinking about doing the same thing.”
“So you like her hair?”
“Yeah, I guess. Blonde isn’t my favorite color—oops. No offense, dude.”
“None taken. I know I look good.”
Caleb chuckles. “You ever want to build up more muscle, let me know.”
“Ease off, Romeo,” Bowie jokes.
“I work out with Axel, and Nichelle, and Priya! Definitely not flirting here.”
“Good, ‘cause I have a boyfriend…. but you know, Emma doesn’t.”
“Yeah, that whole thing with Chase was messed up. I mean, I heard he did some bad stuff before the accident. But cutting the brakes on his girlfriend’s car? And letting her crash into an animal shelter? It’s awful! For her, and the animal shelter! And I volunteer at one, so I know how underfunded they can be.”
“It’s a good thing Emma was able to fundraise for the repairs,” Bowie adds quickly. “She loves cats, by the way.”
“Me too! They’re my favorite animal. I foster kittens.”
“That’s adorable.”
“They’re adorable. Do you know how hard it is not to adopt them all?”
“I bet it takes a lot of self control. I know Emma wants a cat, but her mom is allergic.”
“Aw, bummer.”
“Yeah. So she’ll take every chance she can get to hang out with cats. Especially kittens.”
“Maybe I could invite her over to meet the fosters.”
“That would be her dream first date.”
Caleb blinks. “What do you mean, date?”
“Are you… not interested in her?”
“Are you asking me whether I’m interested in her?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that out this whole conversation!”
“Oh. Uh. No. It’s nothing personal—I’m not interested in anyone.”
Bowie sighs. “Got it.”
“But she’s still welcome to meet the kittens!”
So Caleb is a no-go, but there are still plenty of options at their school, despite it being quite small. Options like… Nichelle! Nichelle is gorgeous, and has great hair, and if Bowie liked girls he’d probably have a massive crush. Even MK used to like her, and they have seriously high standards. Then again, they’re dating Julia, so maybe that’s just an act.
“Nichelle,” Bowie calls, trotting up to the girl as she closes her locker. “Love the new hair.”
“Thank you!” Nichelle drapes her braids over her shoulders so Bowie can better admire the aqua-colored beads and star charms that adorn it. “How’s your day been?”
“Oh, pretty good. Totally dominated the trivia game in Ms. McGrady’s class. I also talked to Damien and Caleb—”
“Is that what this is about?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, they mentioned to me that you’re asking around to see who’s interested in Emma.”
“…Am I that obvious?”
“Yes,” Nichelle snorts, “but it’s sweet of you.”
“So are you interested, or…?”
“Look, I don’t have anything against Emma, but she’s out of my league. You know she is.”
“Fair enough,” Bowie says. Actually, it probably wouldn’t be good for Emma to date a famous actress after the whole Chase debacle. Ego, and all.
“If you’re looking for girls who are more her speed, maybe try Priya or Millie?”
“They are pretty friendly with Emma… I’ll try talking to them. See you later—and I swear I wasn’t just complimenting you to start a conversation. The hair does looks great.”
Nichelle grins. “I know.”
Priya or Millie actually make great options, Bowie muses as he weaves through the halls. Priya more than Millie, because she’s nicer, and more athletic, and gets along well with people—mostly because she can’t stand people not liking her—but Millie is more level-headed, and a great listener. Priya and/or Millie it is!
Conveniently, the two girls are in Bowie’s art class, which is really just a painting and gossip session. Which Bowie will never complain about. He sets up his easel right behind Priya and Millie’s, and after their teacher finishes her spiel for the day, leans forward.
“Hey girls. Look, I’m just gonna cut to the chase, ‘cause I know Millie’s smart enough to figure out what I’m saying if I try to do it subtly.”
Millie puffs up at that.
“Emma’s back in the dating scene,” Bowie continues, “and I’m trying to see if anyone would be interested. Not necessarily in anything serious, just a first date to start.”
Priya looks at Millie.
Millie looks at Priya, and then back to Bowie.
“I’m dating her,” the two chorus, pointing at each other.
Bowie blinks. “Seriously? I thought you hated each other after I—I mean, someone leaked Mille’s texts dissing Priya’s parents.”
“No, Millie showed me the context, and we made up,” Priya says. “And now we’re dating.”
“Huh. Honestly, I’m surprised I didn’t already know that. You two wouldn’t happen to be interested in polyamory, and also Emma, would you?”
“I’m not against the concept, or Emma—she’s great—but I’m a one-woman gal,” Priya says.
“Gotcha. Well, no harm in asking—Millie, you good?”
Millie, whose frown has been steadily spreading across her face, narrows her eyes. “You know, we never figured out who leaked those texts…”
“What a mystery!” Bowie laughs nervously. “Oh well. Time for painting!”
The girls give him suspicious looks, but turn back to their easels.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Bowie buries himself behind his canvas. Those texts had to be leaked! He and Priya were both running for student president last year, and Millie had been her unstoppable campaign manager. It only made sense to break up the girls’ campaign… though they ended up winning anyway. And making up. And making out, according to this new bit of information. Honestly, they should be thanking Bowie!
Bowie, who is realizing he has very little options left in terms of suitable partners for Emma. Sigh. He’s going to have to start scraping the bottom of the barrel now, isn’t he?
“How’d you feel about taking Emma to Zee’s party tonight?”
Axel looks up from the gymnasium’s punching bag, which she’s currently demolishing. “Like as a date?”
“Exactly!”
“Hard pass.”
“Come on, why not?”
“Emma’s pretty and all, but she’s too emotional for me.”
Considering Axel’s constant state of anger—which is most definitely an emotion—Bowie has to scoff. “Seriously? What are you, a straight man?”
“No, I’m definitely bisexual. Jury’s still out on the man part. I’ll figure that out after I survive the apocalypse.”
“…Fair enough. Good luck with that.”
“Surviving the apocalypse isn’t about luck. It’s about skill.”
“I meant the gender thing.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
Shaking his head, Bowie trudges out of the gym, only to immediately run into Ripper.
“Dude!”
“Aaa! What?!”
Ripper grabs the front of Bowie’s shirt. “Were you talking to Axel in there? About dating Emma?”
“Yes, but she’s not interested, and Emma definitely wouldn’t be interested in you—”
“You gotta help me, man!”
“You gotta let go of me first,” Bowie says, brushing off his shirt once Ripper obliges. “Help you with what? Because I know Emma—”
“Not Emma! Axel!”
“…Axel?”
Ripper groans. “I got a major crush on her after she knocked three of my teeth out, and I have no clue what to do about it! I can barely talk to her without her trying to kill me.”
“Huh.” Bowie glances into the gym to see Axel aim a flying side kick at the punching bag. It snaps off of its chains and slams to the floor. “You know what? You’re on your own for this. But maybe talk to Wayne—I think you two have similar taste in girls.”
So by the time he and Emma are getting ready for the party together, Bowie hasn’t found her a date. Not that that’s a bad thing. Emma’s been happier single than he’s ever seen her with Chase, and she’s got a good support system with him and the rest of their friends (excluding Julia and MK, but they fall into a grey area that’s vaguely next to friends, but not in it).
Still, Bowie hates failure. He’s not built for failure. And it especially stings watching Emma get dressed up, because instead of her chunky pink sneakers—a staple of her wardrobe—she dons her glittery heels. Which Bowie knows she only wears if she wants to be noticed by someone, because they hurt her feet after a while. Emma never wears those heels just for herself.
It only serves to motivate Bowie more. He’s gonna wingman for her at this party, and even if that doesn’t work, he’ll still make sure she has a great time.
As he pours himself another drink, he updates Raj and Julia on his progress, while Wayne attempts to get MK to dance. And MK attempts to escape. Neither of them are very successful.
“So nobody in this lame little school wants to date Emma, big shocker,” Julia says.
Raj kisses Bowie’s cheek. “I’m sure you did your best, babe.”
“Thanks,” Bowie says, before turning to Julia. “And knock it off, Emma’s a catch. I’m totally bummed no one here seems to see it.”
“You think anyone here wants to date me?”
“Well, I definitely don’t.”
“Gotta agree with him there,” Raj says.
Julia rolls her eyes. “No, you nimwits—”
“I think you mean dimwits,” Bowie says. “Or possibly nitwits.”
“No I don’t, ‘cause nimwits is totally a word. Anyway. What I’m trying to say is nobody here would ever date me except for MK, and we’re freaking awesome together. So maybe there’s one person here somewhere that’d be great for Emma. You just haven’t found them yet.”
Bowie stares at her. “That was the sweetest, most profound thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
“Don’t get used to it, butt knuckle.”
“Julia’s right,” Raj says. “You’ll find someone for Emma.”
“Gonna be kind of hard if you can’t even find Emma,” MK says, having escaped Wayne’s enthusiastic dancing attempts.
“Crap,” Bowie says, scanning the crowd. “Where’d she go?”
Wayne pops up next to Raj. “I think I saw her head upstairs.”
“Well, I’m already failing if she’s hiding instead of having fun. Be right back!”
The music and chatter downstairs fade as Bowie heads up to the second level of Zee’s house. Maybe Emma went to use the bathroom? All the doors up here are closed—wait, except for one. It’s cracked open the tiniest bit, light spilling out into the hallway.
“Emma?” Bowie calls, pushing it open. “Are you in he—”
His jaw drops, because Emma is in the room.
Sitting on Zee’s lap.
Making out with Zee.
“Oh my God.”
“Bowie!” Emma squeaks, breaking away from Zee. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you,” Bowie says. His lips are twitching into what he thinks might be smile? It’s hard to tell just what’s happening on his face right now.
Zee gives him a wave. “Hey man.”
“Hi. Also, what?”
“I’m dating Zee,” Emma says, clambering off of their lap. “…Surprise?”
“Um, yes, surprised. Very much surprised. How come you never told me?”
“Uh…”
“Emma thought you wouldn’t like her dating me ‘cause I’m weird and spacey and not super good at anything,” Zee says, looking entirely unbothered by Bowie’s supposed opinion of them. Which isn’t exactly inaccurate.
Emma winces. “Sorry, I don’t like keeping secrets from you, but I really thought you wouldn’t approve…”
And maybe a week ago, Bowie hadn’t, but now he’s putting the pieces together. As weird of a person as they are, Zee is kind. Kind enough to be on good terms with everyone in their grade, which is no easy feat considering the myriad of strong, clashing personalities it contains. They’ll listen to whatever people tell them about their problems, and sometimes Zee will try to fix them… with varying results (a freshman year misunderstanding involving Priya, Caleb, and a very competitive game of Monopoly comes to mind).
Zee also likes to make terrible puns, which Bowie and plenty of others will groan at. But Emma always laughs, because she’s an awful punster herself. Seeing as Zee is always down to go with the flow, Bowie could consider them adaptable… and actually, after their homecoming dance, Emma had mentioned multiple times how nice Zee looked with their hair down…
Now Bowie’s surprised he didn’t consider this potential pairing sooner.
“Actually, I think Zee could be good for you,” Bowie tells Emma. “Really good for you. Not that you need my approval.”
“I know, but after you told me to break up with Chase fourteen different times before I finally did… I want your approval.”
“Woohoo, I’m approved!” Zee cheers.
“You were really okay hiding this for Emma?” Bowie asks them.
“Yeah, man. I’m happy to go at her pace.”
Emma beams at them.
So does Bowie. “Okay, now you’ve definitely got my bestie seal of approval.”
“Cool! What’s its name? The seal, I mean.”
“Not a real seal, babe,” Emma says.
“Bummer.”
“So,” Bowie says, “do you two want to come down and dance with the rest of us, or should I leave you lovebirds alone?”
Zee shrugs. “I’m good with whatever.”
“I’d like to go dance,” Emma says, standing and tugging Zee up with her.
“Awesome!”
Grinning, Bowie leads them to the dance floor, where Wayne and Raj have wrangled MK back into dancing. It’s turned somewhat into a game of Monkey in the Middle. Emma and Zee giggle at the sight, before taking to the floor.
Bowie sidles up to Julia, who is watching the Wayne-Raj-MK chaos with glee. “You were right.”
“I always am,” Julia says. “But about what specifically?”
“Emma finding that one person.”
Julia follows Bowie’s gaze, to find Emma dancing terribly, Zee joining in with equally funky moves of their own.
“Oh, of course I was right. I already knew about them.”
“What?” Bowie squawks. “How?”
“Are you kidding me? They’re terrible at keeping secrets. Even Damien knew.”
“Huh. Well, now that conversation I had with him is starting to make a lot more sense…”