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There is so much he wants to say. So much he thinks he should explain. There’s so much, and yet, he can’t stop staring at this tiny human being in his arms, a miracle from head to his ten toes. William is sleeping, his breathing going fast as if trying to catch up with the world now that he’s seeing it from the outside.
“How do you like it out here, hm?” Mulder asks, gently swaying. Time has lost all meaning to him. It might be late at night, or early morning. It doesn’t matter. In the bedroom, Scully is asleep, needing every second of shuteye she can get. He’s here for all these moments. That’s something that a few months ago seemed impossible.
“There’s nothing that’s impossible when it comes to us Mulders, right? Well, you’re half a Mulder and half a Scully. Makes you twice as awesome.” Mulder has been amazed by Scully ever since he’s known her, but now, she’s a certified hero in his eyes.
“Your mom is the most amazing person in the world. You probably know that already.” The child’s eyes remain closed, and his body slack. “Already not listening. Yeah, you’re my son.” He chuckles softly, just watching. This tiny nose that Mulder hopes will take on Scully’s shape as it grows. The tuft of reddish hair on his small head that’s softer than anything Mulder has ever touched. He has never felt so whole, or so much at home with himself, and in the world. He didn’t think he’d get here. Decades of running after the truth, of following every light in the sky, and this time, the light led him here. To William, and to Scully.
He tried explaining it to Scully earlier, with their son between them. The light. How all he did was follow it. But she was just smiling, probably not listening at all, and then, a moment later, she was asleep, looking so much like William. Mulder picked him up, hoping he’d, too, sleep a while. So far, he’s in luck. That same luck that has been following him ever since he set out to find Scully. The light that led him. He looks at William and he feels it. It’s there. It’s a warmth, a bond. Love. If Scully were awake, if he said this to her, he knows she would roll her eyes at him. He’ll stick to his story. There was a light and he followed it. That, to him, is William. He has brought light into his and Scully’s life, leading them onward from now on. His son chooses that moment to open his eyes. They’re still unfocused, lost in this big, big world, but Mulder can’t help but smile.
“Knew I was thinking about you, hm? You’re clever like that. We should wake your mom.” He will never tire of this. Scully is a mom and he’s a dad. The product of their love is in his arms, just waking up, just getting to know the world around him.
“You know what? We should think of a gift for your mom. I’m gonna tell you a secret, Will.” The baby shuffles in his arms, his eyes closing again. “Your mom loves presents. Oh, she pretends she doesn’t, but she loves them.”
“Are you talking about me?” There she is, his Scully. She’s leaning against the door frame, looking utterly exhausted and happier than he’s ever seen her.
“Just explaining some things to our son. I can’t stop looking at him.”
“He really is cute,” Scully agrees, joining Mulder and leaning against him now.
“Hey, why are you up? You should be sitting down. Come on.” Together they make their way back to the bedroom. “How much did you hear?”
“Just you saying I love presents. And Mulder, who doesn’t love presents?”
“Knew it,” he whispers to a fussy William before he kisses his downy head and hands him to Scully, who expertly nurses William. She leans against the headboard, her head tilted toward Mulder.
“Hey you,” he says, grinning. “I meant what I said when you were eavesdropping.”
“Wasn’t eavesdropping,” she says, smiling.
“You just tell yourself that.” He kisses her hair, her temple.
“You already gave me a gift, Mulder.”
“Courage, yeah. You said that.”
“That and Samantha’s doll. You came back to me. Because of you, there’s William. I already have everything I could possibly want.” Tears roll down her face and he realizes he’s crying too. “All I want is more moments like these.”
“You can’t get rid of me. You'll have to share these moments with me. Unless… do you think we can find space for my fish tank here?”
“I think we can arrange that.”
“Then that’s settled.” He leans his head against hers, watching as their son nurses happily, half falling asleep. Like his mother. They will have a million more moments like these - he'll make sure of it. Every single one will feel special. Next year, and every year after this, Mulder will tell William about the night he was born, and the light he followed.