Work Text:
Bilbo was furious. First, he had been forced to ride ponies, be glared at by the company’s brutish (and very handsome) leader, THEN those two troublesome twins had forced him to go burgle some trolls which resulted in him being tied up in a sack and being called a ferret! A ferret! The master of Bag-End, a ferret! Ha! Imagine that! The good people of the Shire would no doubt talk about this for months, if word ever reached the Shire. Lobelia, no doubt, would somehow use this as proof that Bag-End should belong to her.
Ha
He was tired, hungry and if he was being honest, rather sad and humiliated. He did not have enough strength in him to be angry at all this unfairness.
He had also hoped that Thorin might see him as a worthy member of the company after this and stop glaring at him like all of this is his fault.
Well, alright, perhaps he shouldn’t have given in to Fili and Kili’s demands and fetched Thorin.
But he did save them from the trolls! A little appreciation is always nice. When he had seen Thorin stomping over to him he thought he might have been worried for him. But all he got was a bloody lecture. He had a thousand retorts in his mind, ready to be shared, but he felt crushed. So he stood there glaring at Thorin.
Two could play this game. Soon enough the dwarven king huffed and stormed off to find his next victim. Bilbo took a deep breath and started pacing, like he usually does when he is perturbed. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw some daffodils poking out from a bush.
His heart, now suddenly aching for home, urged him to pick it up and so he did. He held it close and shut his eyes in remembrance and then picturing a pair of blue eyes, he remembered a Shire custom. A silly one, that brought a smile on his face.
“Where did you go to, if I may ask?”
“To look ahead”
“And what brought you back?”
“Looking behind. Nasty business. Still they are all in one piece.”
“No thanks to your burglar.”
Hearing this little exchange, Bilbo plucked a petal from the flower muttering to himself,”He loves you not” and then wrung his hands. He was not some hobbit fauntling, for Yavanna’s sake!
Meanwhile Thorin stood staring at their company’s burglar. Was he…talking to a flower? Huh.
Strangely enough, instead of being off putting it was rather…endearing. But then pushing these thoughts away, Thorin went to find some other poor soul to shout at. Fili and Kili seemed apt targets and soon he forgot about the burglar and focused on lecturing his two idiot nephews.
Atleast, that’s what he tells himself anyway.
___________________________________
Bilbo sighed in relief as he sat down near the gardens in Rivendell. This place had become a place of comfort for him. The serene music and welcoming faces (towards him and Gandalf anyways) reminded him of his Shire as he sat there smoking his pipe. The only thing he regretted was that Thorin seemed to have his guard up even more. Not that he’s been staring at their leader enough to notice.
Of course not.
He was a Baggins. And Bagginses do not stare at their-their-the people they admired- like a fauntling discovering a pumpkin patch for the first time.
The Tookshowever…..
As Bilbo sat there thinking of a familiar set of blue eyes, they suddenly came into view as Thorin walked up to him. He couldn’t help sighing as he recalled their previous interactions.
His day was about to become his best on this blasted adventure, or get ten times worse.
He closed his eyes hoping Thorin would take the hint and walk away. But that was too much to expect apparently as he felt Thorin sit right beside him, his cloak providing a warm heat to his body. He opened his eyes and smiled at him, hoping to salvage their relationship somewhat but the dwarf just stared at him. Now what was that about?
Bilbo cleared his throat and spoke,”Did you…need something from me?”
“Do you find it that hard to believe I would seek you out to simply…get to know you better?”
Bilbo did not snort after hearing that. He chuckled. Bagginses do not snort. So yes. He chuckled. A polite sounding chuckle too, mind you. Although that came to a stop as he saw Thorin frowning. Oh Yavanna what did he do now!
“Kili and Fili were right after all, it seems.”
“I…pardon?”
“Nevermind. It does not concern you.”
“I-well-actually, considering the fact that they were talking about me, it does, in fact, seem to concernme. But if you do not wish to tell me then-fine- I shall leave and leave you to share news about me to someone it
doesconcern.
Well. Didn’t that just go swimmingly. His only chance to salvage their…friendship? Partnership? Whatever-ship and he blew it! He scolded himself in his mind. ‘Absolutely wonderful-spectacular-’
“I did not mean it that way. It is nothing of significance, is what I meant. Please, sit with me.”, Bilbo looked at the hand holding his sleeve, the gentleness of it betraying the rough and calloused look of it.
Bilbo turned his head, hoping his blush was not seen. When he turned to look at Thorin he was surprised to see him worried. All because he thought Bilbo would leave. But then, perhaps he was getting ahead of himself.
“I..uhm..right, you said….you would like to..talk to me?”
“..Yes. Out of the company you are the one I know the least about, Mr.Baggins. Indulge me.”
Bilbo tilted his head, looking up at Thorin, feeling slightly…adventurous.
“Hmm…is it your curiosity that urged you to talk to me..or is it the elves?”
When Thorin did not speak for a while, he feared he had crossed a line. But then he started laughing.
Well, alright, not quite laughing but still. It was a beautiful sound and Bilbo treasured it either way. He ran his hand over the pocket which contained the flower to ground himself, before he got lost in his voice and made a fool out of himself.
“Well, my nephews had been quite insistent that I talk to you. But I will admit, a respite from those elves is always welcome.”
“Oh, I see it now, you are only talking to me to get your nephews off your back!”
Bilbo almost felt bad for teasing him so much, after catching his bewildered expression.
“NO. That. That is not what I meant. Please do not-”
“Relax. I was only teasing you.”, Bilbo raised an eyebrow and puffed up when he heard another chuckle from Thorin.
“Hmm…I seem to be making a fool out of myself today. Forgive me Master Baggins. I suppose this place….
“Yes..?”
“Fireflies. The fireflies here bring back memories.”
Bilbo put a hand on his forearm, hoping to be some sort of comfort. Thorin instead, looked a bit shocked but continued.
“When I was a pebble I was…rather scared of the dark.”
“Ah, like any faunt might be.”
“Faunt? I suppose that is what you call your young ones. It seems…fitting.”, Bilbo smiled at this and Thorin continued when he realized Bilbo wanted him to speak more.
“Well….one day I got lost.”
“I’m not surprised there!”, Thorin shot Bilbo a half hearted glare which Bilbo returned with a smile.
“I was scared, and alone. I wandered for hours, calling for anyone, really. Which is when I stumbled and fell into a steep tunnel, leading downwards.”
Bilbo gasped softly, clutching Thorin’s arm tighter, more for his comfort than Thorin’s really.
“Then what happened? Were you alright?”
“As the tunnel went down, and me with it, I landed, surprisingly, on a bed of moss. I was hurt, but not too badly. That is when I opened my eyes and saw fireflies, illuminating the room with their soft yellow glow. I spent hours in there before someone found me, sleeping and covered by fireflies, apparently. Those fireflies made me less lonely, that day. And I went there throughout my life, whenever I need a bit of peace, without the guards walking behind me or my parents and siblings nagging at me.”
“And you did not get lost?”
Thorin chuckled (again!). “No, no I did not.”
“Well, I do find that a bit hard to believe.”
“Well, I shall simply have to prove myself by taking you there myself won’t I?”
“I..um..yes. I…look forward to seeing your fireflies, Thorin.”
“And I look forward to show them to you. Ah..I did not fulfill my original purpose for coming here, did I?”
“Hm? If you meant knowing more about me…well you are free to ask me anything anytime, Thorin. Not that there is much about the Shire I think will interest you.
“I will be happy to listen as long as it’s about you.”
“Uhm. Right. Yes. I..uh…same goes for you, Thorin.”
“Well…it is..late. Goodnight Bilbo. Rest well, we will be leaving Rivendell tomorrow.”, and with that Thorin left hurriedly. Not that Bilbo noticed.
He was busy looking at his flower. He plucked a petal while muttering under his breathe,”He loves you”, but shook his head as he caught himself. He couldn’t bring himself to chastise himself however.
One conversation and he was hopeless.
Thorin hurried down the pathway mentally chastising himself. What was he doing-why did he tell him all of that? He did not know. All he knew, that one look at Bilbo’s genuinely kind eyes, and golden hair, reminding him of the fireflies and he was spilling secrets and extending an offer that he had not even given to his sister. Sleep. A good long sleep is what he needed. Then he would forget all of this. Or not. He thought bitterly as he saw Gandalf and Elrond talking and Bilbo appearing behind him. This was going to be a long night…
_________________________________
“I thought we'd lost our burglar.”
“He's been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us. “
Bilbo did not hear the rest of Thorin’s words, as he allowed himself to be shepherded by Bofur. Alright. Fine. If that is what Thorin thought then he’d leave. He knew when he had outstayed his welcome.
When the bedrolls had been set, Bilbo pulled out his flower from his pocket. Plucking a petal he whispered under his breath, “He loves you not…”, hoping the company did not hear him. Then he made his decision.
Thorin was hit with a pang of guilt as he saw the burglar and his flower seeming to droop under an invisible weight. An invisible weight put there by him. His heart had thundered loudly in his chest when he saw Bilbo falling from the cliff and he did not express his grievances well. He should have taken him in his arms and comforted him, and damn whoever was watching, but no. He had to go and say that. He would make up to him. He would apologize and ask him about his Shire-or not. It seemed that he had messed up worse than he thought. Bilbo was leaving and it felt like the ground was about to crack open-oh. It really was cracking open. Shit.
__________________________________
Thorin opened his eyes and started looking for his burglar. The only thoughts running in his mind were about him and the relief of seeing him alive and well was overtaken by anger at the thought of him dying.
And before he knew what he was saying..
“You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild and that you had no place amongst us?”
Bilbo had always given back any rude comment Thorin might have thrown his way. Guild weighed on him as he saw Bilbo looking down, looking devastated. He wanted to envelope him in a hug and tell him what he really felt. But that would have to wait.
“I’ve never been so wrong in all my life.”
The hug had been so warm and….homey. Bilbo knew, after that, that the Shire would no longer be his home. He took out his flower and plucked a petal whispering, “He loves me”. He saw Thorin giving him a confused look from where he was sitting. He returned it with a big grin and a wink, which resulted in Thorin ducking his head and being overly focused on his food. Bilbo would ask him, after the dragon. He’d tell him everything. This time he was sure that he needed no flower’s help in telling him what his reply would be.
_______________________________
Atleast, that’s what he’d thought. He knew, of course, that the flower would wilt at some point but the wilting had been exceptionally fast ever since they set foot in Erebor. To top it all off, ever since Thorin had discovered the treasury he had been acting……weird. Sometimes, the things he said, would remind Bilbo too much of Smaug. It was…unsettling.
Bilbo had been so sure off his feelings, but now? He wasn’t sure what to think. He had seen a glimmer of hope when he had presented Thorin with the acorn but that was crushed quickly when Dwalin came with the news of the army at their gates.
He had talked to Balin and…he knew what he had to do. This could destroy everything between him and Thorin, but, it had to be done. For all of them, but most of all Thorin.
xx
Bilbo hissed in pain as his back hit the wall. He could feel Thorin’s fingers curling around his neck tightening their hold, no longer having the comfortable warmth in them. They were burning his skin with their iciness. He looked into his eyes, no longer the clear forget-me-not blue but cloudy, like someone had taken control over him.
He wanted to cry but he bit his lips and stared at him, his chin held high. If he was going to die, he was going to die telling him how he felt. He was not a coward-
Oh.Bilbo let out a strangled sob as his flower, almost fully wilted, fell out of his pocket and a petal separated from it. “He loves you not”, this phrase circled in his mind like a tornado, and it only worsened as Thorin kicked the flower away.
He did not pay attention to the rest of his words, and again, followed Bofur in a daze, only breaking out of his reverie to pick up his flower and cradling it close to his heart.
___________________________________
The battle that had followed had been horrible. When he had seen Thorin lying on what seemed to be his deathbed, he had almost spilled his heart out, however, luckily the eagles were able to get them to the healer’s camps in time. He had spent five months in Erebor, rebuilding both Erebor and his relationship with it’s king. There were moments when he wanted to shout out what he felt, but the flower’s last message came into his mind. He had left it in Thorin’s desk one day and then forgotten to take it back. He was almost afraid to face it again.
He was smoking on the balcony attached to his quarters when he heard a light thumping of boots outside his room. He would recognize that sound everywhere.
“Do come in Thorin.”,Bilbo said calmly, feeling anything but.
“Bilbo.”, Bilbo inhaled sharply. He was still not used to Thorin calling him by his first name.
“I…you are going back to the Shire tomorrow”
“Yes. Yes I am.”
“I had a question. But first, follow me.
Oh. Bilbo allowed his hopes to rise. Perhaps Thorin would ask him to stay. He would say yes gladly. He did not think-no, he knew the Shire would not be a home to him. Not without Thorin and the ridiculous dwarves that came with him. Mostly Thorin though.
He followed Thorin as he led him down stone corridors and…tunnels.
“Thorin…are we…?”
“I promised you I would show you that place, did I not?”
He held Bilbo close as they slid down the tunnel. Bilbo gasped as they landed on soft moss and he looked up to see hundreds of fireflies illuminating the cave and casting a soft light on Thorin’s face. Bilbo forgot about the fireflies as he continued staring at Thorin.
“Your-...it’s beautiful,Thorin. Thank you, truly, for showing me this.
“You…told me you’d tell me about the Shire someday, when I told you about this place in Rivendell”
“Ah, um yes. Is that what your question is about?”, Thorin nodded and Bilbo couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He was not about to ask him to stay after all. He was a man of his word, of course he brought him to see these…beautiful fireflies.
“I…saw you..during the quest, you treasured this flower. My question was about this. Is this..a Shire custom?”
Dread pooled in Bilbo’s stomach as he thought about what to do next. But then again, what did he have to lose? If, Thorin rejects him, well, he would return to the Shire but if he accepts….
“You would be correct, yes. In the Shire….we have….a game of sorts. We…well, when we have someone we, ah, admire, we…pick a flower that suits our current relation to them. We then, pluck the petals and when we do we alternate between the phrases ‘they love me’ and ‘they love me not’. And, whichever phrase is said during the plucking of the last petal, tells you whether they like you back or not. I..it’s just, a silly game and-”
“What does this flower mean, Bilbo?”
“Well, it’s a daffodil and it means…hope or new beginnings.”
“I see. Bilbo…if I plucked this last petal..what would the verdict be?”
“He…”, Bilbo looked into Thorin’s eyes and felt hope rekindle inside him.
“He loves yo-”
Before he could finish his sentence, Thorin cupped his face and leaned down as Bilbo tugged at his braids, crashing their lips into a kiss. It was sweet and short but passionate, all the unspoken words spoken through it. And when they separated Bilbo wished that he did not need air to live.
“Next time, burglar, I will make sure you need no flower to tell you how I feel about you. I love you. I need you. Here. With me. Please tell me you will stay?”
“I-of course I will you confounded dwarf!” Bilbo laughed as he pulled him in for another kiss, both taking their time.
True to his words, Bilbo did not need a flower to tell him how much Thorin loved him, for the rest of his life, as he would tell him everyday, before breakfast, his meetings, before sleeping, on their wedding day and whenever else he could say it.