Chapter Text
The band is loud. The drums are a never ending pulse of life into the crowd. And Nathaniel has never felt more alive.
The amount of people in the room didn’t bother him, for once he isn’t checking exits and marking faces. It’s freedom, at least as much as he’s allowed.
Never underestimate
Poor, hungry, and desperate
Nathaniel hears the words, but more than that he feels them. He works his way closer to the stage allowing the crowd to move him as they please.
Even this close to the stage he couldn’t make out the band’s faces. They were blobs of motion as the music fueled their movements. It didn’t matter to Nat who they were. The music spoke to him in a way that no other had.
This band had played at the bar where Nathaniel worked a few times before, but never on a night Nat worked. It was during one of his 10 minute brakes that he decided he wanted to get closer to the stage.
I want world domination
Just like everybody else
So if you hear me talkin' strategy
Oh, it's only to myself
As the song continues the crowd gets more wild. Everyone jumping and singing, the bar is packed.
The song started to come to a close and the lyrics to the song kept repeating. The crowd’s intensity grew every time they sang the words. Until finally the song ended and there was a moment of silence before the cheers, where everyone in the audience was connected, just embracing the words they just heard.
“Alright, alright!! Can I just take a moment to thank everyone who is here tonight!!” The crowd erupted into cheers at the singer’s words. “It’s truly amazing what one loyal place can do for you when starting a band. This is our 7th show here! Please give it up for the amazing staff here tonight. We wouldn’t have been able to make it this far without them, and the business owner David Wymack!” The cheering grew louder.
“Ok now who’s ready for our last song of the night?!!” The cheers of the crowd were almost loud enough to cover his next words, “This one is a special one, written by our very own bassist!!”
Well, I'm so above you
And it's plain to see
But I came to love you anyway
So you tore my heart out
And I don't mind bleeding
The crowd lost their shit. Despite not knowing the band Nathaniel could tell that this was one of their most popular songs.
At one point in the song the bassist took over some of the singing. The lyrics rolled off his voice beautifully. It was clear that this was his song.
The pure superiority the lyrics screamed was so fitting for the band and how far they’d come. In 6 months, they’d gone from complete nobodies to The Monsters. One of the most popular indie rock bands. With nearly 1 million monthly listeners, no one could doubt their growing popularity.
Oh, oh-oh, I got a love that keeps me waiting
As the final line of the song ended the crowd exploded.
“Thank you all so much for your support, we'll see you next time!!!” With that The Monsters slowly exited the stage and went to the green room.
The bar would remain open for another hour or so. Nathaniel’s break was over by this point, so he went back and continued working the bar till 30 minutes till close. Then he would wait till the customers were out of the bar to start closing for the night.
The band would remain in the green room until the bar closed then they would tear down their set and pack away their instruments.
As the last of the bar goers were ushered out of the building the band entered the room. The lights turned on and Nat and the band worked silently as they both did their respective jobs.
The bar was pretty far from the main stage, so it was a shock when Nat heard a loud crash. Two of the band members were on the ground seemingly angry at each other. From what Nathaniel could remember it seemed to be the bassist and the lead singer.
“I am done living under your control, I’m going to college with Kaitlyn. I don't care what that means for the band.”
Nat did his best not to watch them fight, but it was hard to ignore the loud angry words thrown around at the other boy. He put his head down and focused on his task.
“Who said I cared what you did? If you want to throw our successful band away for some girl and tons of student debt that’s your choice.”
The argument seemed to be getting heated, Nat really just wanted them to leave so he could finish closing. He had worked 2 shifts today and was so done standing around.
“I will then! I got into Clemson starting in the fall, I’ll go. Move in day is in 2 months. I'm done with you and your ridiculous practice schedule and controlling behavior.”
Nathaniel was collecting the trash to take outside. The humid air was a welcome reprieve to the band fighting inside.
The trash loudly thumped into the giant garbage bin, scaring the alley cat out of the shadows.
“No boy, you don’t have to do that.” Nathaniel tried to stop it from going too far, but it was too late. All he could hope was that it would be back another day so he could feed it.
As he was standing up to walk inside the back door opened. He was face to face with a man who was shorter than Nat which was shocking in and of itself, but the cold eyes found on the blonde intrigued him even more.
“Oh, my bad! I didn’t see you there.” The man gave no indication that he heard him, but did seem to pause for a second when exiting the door. “If I can just squeeze through there then you can have this dark alley all to yourself.”
The man did not seem to find Nathaniel's joke funny, but got out of his way, nonetheless. Nathaniel heard the flick of a lighter behind him as he walked inside. A jolt of panic licked through him, and he walked faster into the room.
On his way back to the bar he rubbed the scars on his arms. Although they were hidden under his long sleeve shirt Nathaniel could feel them. Not just with his hands, but every time he moved his arms.
Back on the stage the band had finished getting their instruments and packing up all their stuff. Nat had finished his jobs, so he went to Wymack’s office to let his boss know he was leaving for the night.
Anytime there was a band performing, which was almost every weekend, Wymack was the last to leave the bar. He liked to stay and make sure that the band got everything and there was nothing else that needed to be done, without having to make the closer stay any later.
Nathaniel knocked on the already open door as he walked in. David Wymack was sitting in his office chair talking to the lead singer of the band. Nat tried to be discreet in telling his boss he was leaving for the night. He didn’t want to interrupt the conversation that the other men were having.
“He just doesn’t get it, boss, he wants to go to college and give up on the band. But I think he’s really only doing it for that Kaitlyn girl. If we even mention her to Andrew, then we would be able to keep the band together. But the drama caused from Kaitlyn being part of Aaron’s life would be ten times worse than Aaron leaving.” The lead singer was holding all of Wymack’s attention as he talked, preventing Nathaniel from leaving.
“Yes, but there are other bassists out there. Aaron is good, but he’s not the best. And forcing Aaron to stay in the band when he doesn’t want to will just make things worse for everyone. If Aaron wants to go to college, then that’s between him and Andrew. They have to work that out.” Wymack’s words gave the singer something to think about, giving Nat enough time to get his boss's attention.
“I’m out for the night Wymack.” David gave his full attention to Nathaniel then and gave a little nod.
“Tip out for the night and go home, good work tonight.” Wymack’s dismissal was more than welcome, allowing Nathaniel to finally go home.
The walk back to his apartment was quiet allowing Nat to relish in the early morning hours. It was one of the reasons Nathaniel didn’t mind closing. The city at night was so calm.
He thought about the band on his walk. They were amazing. It had been a long time since he felt so consumed by music. He hoped that if their bassist did leave then they could find someone equally good to replace him.
Nathaniel’s home, if you could call it that, was a small studio apartment. It wasn’t like he had much stuff to store. The room was mostly empty. There was a bed and dresser, the latter of which he’d found at a garage sale for $20 dollars. The thing that really completed the room was the piles of sheet music lining the floor and the single keyboard propped against the wall.
Nathaniel was 4 when he was first taught to play an instrument. His father thought it would be a good way to show him off to all of his powerful friends. Well one way to show him off. For a young child he was able to focus incredibly well and became very skilled for his age. Before him and his mom left his house at 10 years old, he was skilled at nearly 3 instruments. On the run he managed to pick up another 4 including drums, bass guitar, flute, and trumpet.
The sheet music on the ground was for most instruments. He had created full scores of music for every instrument he knew how to play. It had taken 2 months of paychecks to afford his current keyboard and he was planning on using his next ones for a new guitar.
Learning new instruments while on the run was an easy way to stay connected to who he truly was. It was hard for Nat to have to change his identity every few months. The ability to learn an instrument brought him comfort, and never picking up the same instrument twice while on the run ensured their safety.
Nathaniel originally applied for the job at the Foxhole bar because of its live performances. He wanted to be surrounded by music even if he wouldn’t play.
Before falling asleep Nat decided that he would listen to more of The Monsters’ music.
For the next few weeks Nathaniel picked up even more shifts than normal. Partially because he wanted to buy more instruments, but another part of him was hoping to see The Monsters perform again.
Because it was a bar most nights it didn’t open until 6 pm. Oftentimes when there wasn’t a band playing and they hired a DJ for the night Nathaniel would stay extra late and play on the stage.
He never wished for an audience, but playing in a large space brought comfort to Nat. It reminded him of the room he took music lessons in, in Germany. And the lack of neighbors yelling at him to shut up was always a plus.
“Whoa Nathaniel you're working tonight!!” Matt was always overly excited to see Nathaniel. Despite them working together almost 3 nights a week.
“Yeah man, I picked up Alison's shift. She had like a late Christmas party with her family or something. And I mean I could always use some more money.”
“Oh yeah, I get it. Please tell me you're saving up to move out of that apartment.”
“Matt for the millionth time there’s nothing wrong with my apartment.”
At this point Dan looked up from where she was prepping food in the kitchen and laughed, “Nat, baby, tell that to the rat that is living in your neighbor’s floor, or the cigarette smell that never seems to leave.”
“So, what if it’s not perfect, it does what I need it to.” Nathaniel left out the part about how his mother and him had lived in far worse conditions.
“No normal person would say that.” Dan had been trying to get him to move out of his apartment since she came over for the first time 4 months ago.
Nathaniel had needed help carrying his new keyboard and Matt offered to take it in his truck. Nat happily agreed and didn’t think twice when they started carrying it in for him. He tried to stop them at one point, but they both refused to stop. Claiming that Nathaniel needed to unlock doors for them and that it makes the most sense for them to carry the keyboard.
Once inside the apartment they looked around for a few minutes. That’s when the rat, which Nathaniel had become used to at that point, ran past their open door.
From then on anytime Nat’s apartment was brought up Dan and Matt religiously tried to talk him into moving.
“Guys it’s not a big deal. There are things worth more of my money than a better place to live.”
“Are you seriously trying to buy another instrument?” Nat didn’t understand why Matt was so confused.
“Umm, yes?”
“Dude how many times do we have to tell you, Wymack will let you use any of his instruments any time you ask. Like he’s dying to have them played.”
Nathaniel seemed skeptical. He knew how much Wymack loved those instruments and couldn’t imagine letting anyone else touch them.
“You don’t believe me?” Matt seemed genuinely hurt by Nathaniel’s lack of trust.
“Fine, I can prove it to you. WYMACK?!??!?”
“No dude stop it!! He’s probably busy, leave him alone.”
“BOSS! DAVID WYMACK!!”
Wymack came out of his office glaring at Matt, “What could possibly be so important??”
“Can Nathaniel play your bass guitar? Like the one you have in your office?” Nathaniel wanted to punch Matt in the face. Of course, Wymack was going to say no.
“Oh yeah of course,”
Nathaniel stared in shock.
“See, I told you so.” Matt said as he went to grab the guitar from Wymack’s office. “Isn’t this the next thing to buy on your list? Or is it a violin?”
It was a well known fact in the bar that Nathaniel knew a bunch of instruments, but it was also kind of a legend. So many times, they had tried to get him to play for them and over and over they’d been denied.
Matt and Dan were Nathaniel’s best friends though. If he was going to trust anyone with him playing it would be them.
Nathaniel gingerly took the guitar from Matt’s hands and went to plug it into the speaker.
He started off with some basic chords. Getting a feel for the instrument. It had been a few years since Nathaniel had last played the bass. That was why it was next on his list. There were plenty of other instruments that he could get, but the bass had been one of the first things he learned on the run. In Russia he managed to convince his mother to let him learn.
It wasn’t until 5 years later that he got to play it again. After his mother’s death Nathaniel had spent 4 years at a music university where he reconnected with every instrument he had learned.
Nathaniel sat down in the stool left on the stage and slowly started to play one of his favorite songs. He had started writing the notes for it, but couldn’t think of any of the lyrics yet.
Nat let the feeling of the base pulse through him. The low notes that normally added depth to a song sounded like magic at his fingertips. He knew that it would be better when he put the guitar over the top of it.
He was humming along to the bass part, not words but the notes that naturally fit into the chords he was playing. It was truly a talent like no other.
At one point the lyrics hit him and he played the same part again this time with the lyrics over the top.
Find me on Miami concrete
Lookin' for somebody different 'cause my daddy was a pimp
My mama had her issues, but I miss her anyway.
The lyrics came so naturally to him. The mostly truth that he was telling made him vulnerable. But that’s what he was when he played. He couldn’t control the secrets he spilled while singing. They were honest and real and that’s what made him such a good musician.
At the song's conclusion Nat looked up and saw he had collected a small audience. In the center of the people Matt and Dan were shocked. They looked at him in awe.
“Dude, I didn’t know you’d be that good!! What the hell, that's so unfair.”
Looking around the room Matt’s sentiment seemed to be shared with other people as well.
Dan was just staring still entranced by Nat’s song. On the other hand, Wymack had walked over to the other people standing in the room now, who Nathaniel recognized as The Monsters. Wymack shared a look with the lead singer. A silent conversation was obviously being held. The other members of the band had mixed expressions. The tall guy with brown hair was blatantly checking Nathaniel out, one of the twins looked extremely pissed off, and the other twin seemed like he couldn’t give less of a shit.
“Hey Nathaniel, can we talk to you for a sec?” Wymack directed Nathaniel and The Monsters into his office.
Matt gave Nat a curious look as he followed the other men, but Nathaniel was just as confused so he simply shrugged.
“What’s up Boss?” Nathaniel questioned.
“After tonight Aaron here is going to start preparing for college. It was decided by the band that Aaron could go to college and they would find a new bassist to play for them. We were planning on holding auditions here later this week. Tonight will be Aaron’s last time to perform with the band.”
“Umm ok and?”
“Well after listening to that we no longer think auditions will be necessary.”
“I’m sorry I don’t think I’m fully following.”
“You didn’t completely suck and now we want you to come to a few of our rehearsals to see if you’d be a good fit for the band.” This came from the lead singer.
Nathaniel stared at him for a few seconds. Then he turned around and ran for the door. He was stopped though by one of the twins stepping in front of the doorway.
“I don’t think so little rabbit.” Nathaniel had stopped a few inches away from the shorter man and now stared at him. Both boys refused to break eye contact.
“It would just be a trial for those first few practices. No commitments would need to be made immediately.” Wymack tried to reassure Nathaniel.
That wasn’t Nat’s problem though, Kevin Day was.