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his ears ringing, his head thundering, feeling his heartbeat slowly fading from his eardrums and being able to hear the sounds around him.
someone was coughing, it looked like they were choking. Jay coughed as soon as he tried to lift himself off a weight, his arms feeling like jelly. as soon as his vision stopped being blurry, he raised his face and looked forward.
her body was there, she was there, no longer the endless sea, not water, but flesh, bones and blood.
Jay stood up, ignoring the fact that his legs were about to give way from the effort, and instead noticed that the person who was trying to breathe was her.
her chest went up and down more aggressively and jerkily. next to her, he dropped to his knees, placing both hands on her chest. he started pushing, starting slow and looking for some positive sign, but Nya wasn't responding.
"N-Nya, plea-se.. hold on! y-ou can't g-give up now, I can't let y-you!" his voice was eaten by terror, it was shaking and breaking "Nya! Nya, I-I'm begging you, stay with me! open your e-eyes.."
he kept pushing, but it wasn't working.
"ZANE!" Jay screamed their names between sobs "PIXAL!"
he moved his hands from her chest and to her mouth, pressing the nostrils closed and separating her lips, placing his above and blew until he saw her chest rise. he continued, doing it one more, then returning again with his hands on her chest.
he couldn't let her go, not after all this time he'd been waiting for her, not after she'd managed to find them again. he wouldn't give up until he heard her breathing, not until she recovered.
"Nya!" Jay looked up, Kai was the one calling for her, with Zane on their way to him. in Kai's eyes there was the terror and anguish of losing her again, but permanently this time.
Around Jay, the world kept moving, but it was slowed, all blurry and distant, as if he were watching a movie, but he was simply someone watching it. his eyelids closed, then reopened even more slowly. He looked down, and his head immediately felt light when he moved.
someone shook him, an hand on his shoulder searched for him, but his eyes couldn't lift away from her pale face. Her lips were turning purple, and in her chest she had a greenish liquid, glistening in the golden sun.
he wanted to react, to come back to himself, but his body had become immobilized, he wanted to hold her tightly in his arms, comfort her that everything would be okay, but he couldn't even lift a finger.
he saw the body of what appeared to be Zane in front of him, he was trying to find her pulse, or at least Jay thought. his figure swayed, mixed with the background, his sight moving like waves.
next to Zane, there was Kai. he said something, his mask dancing when he spoke, but Jay didn't really understand what he was saying. he could only hear her name clearly.
he noticed that there was a moment of silence, Zane had stopped himself from pushing his hands from above her chest, and turned to Kai. Zane had a sorry look on, looking straight at Kai. he frozed, denying it was true by shaking his head.
Jay didn't understand why his head movement was becoming frantic. he blinked once, twice, seeing that Kai had snapped, pushing against her still chest.
Jay saw his tears, Kai kept shaking his head, without yet wanting to admit her end to himself, pushing his hands with more force. Kai glanced at Jay, he was scared, looking for something from him with his desperate look. he didn't understand why or for what, but when Jay saw him continuing, he thought Kai might hurt her, even break her bones.
Jay tried to collect himself, blinking until his vision had returned to its normal way. the slow motion seemed to have stopped and his lucidity was back. he looked Kai, then looks down at her and back at him again.
Jay snapped out of his trance, pushing Kai away from her. Jay rested his head on top of her chest, seeking an heartbeat, but there still wasn't one. he heard Kai whimpering, sobbing, looking at his sister with tears and red face.
tears returned out his eyes, Jay heard footsteps approaching, but he couldn't look up. his hands moved to her face. they trembled slowly towards her cheeks. he placed one hand under her head, while the other caressed her cold skin.
he brought her closer to his chest, held her close to him, wanting to hear any final thing she could do, even if she actually couldn't. his other hand still on her, caressing her face, going slowly down her lips. he would do it, if he could wish for her life another time, he would do it. She risked so much to protect the city, but her life was not one of the things she would lose. Nya had found them, she had returned to them, he couldn't let her go after so long. it wouldn't have been fair to her, and he would never forgive himself for it.
he watched every point of her face, hoping that she would open her eyes suddenly.
he rested his forehead against hers, smelling her scent. it was the same she had a year ago, and the same she always had. the best he could ever smell. Her hair was wet, feeling her bangs soaked against his skin. His vision was blurry, but this time it was from tears. A drop fell on her cheek, and suddenly a new hope was back in Jay's mind.
"Nya.." his voice was a whisper, the only way it could get out from himself "I love you.. I love you so much. but I want to try" Jay gently placed her against the floor again.
Jay ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back. His breathing became heavy and his idea less convincing than it initially was. A shiver ran down his spine, and his powers coursed through his blood. he hadn't dared call them back for a whole year, but now they were angrily back. He couldn't waste any more time.
he reached his hands over her, but Kai stopped him first.
"what are you doing?" his voice was broken, as if his strong personality had disappeared into thin air as her soul, but Jay didn't answer his question.
"move away" he simply said, and while Kai didn't do what he asked, the others watching in defeat, did it.
Jay sent the sensation of tingling blood bubbles towards his hands, and electricity soon spread across his fingers and palms. before he could touch her, Kai grabbed his wrist, blocking him.
"tell me what you're thinking" it sounded more like an order than a request, with the force wrapped against his wrist, his hands shaking. Kai gaze was dangerous, but mostly scared and incredulous.
"trust me Kai, if there's a chance I can't waste any more time" Jay kept his gaze straight on his, wanting to appear confident in his idea, and as soon as Kai hesitantly released him, he allowed the lightning to pass through her skin.
as if it were a defibrillator, he used his hands in the same way, continuing with the discharge digit by digit. he had never done it, but he knew there might be a chance it could work.
Kai was in front of him, watching both Jay and his motionless sister, he still had tears on, but he seemed to have calmed down, watching with a bit of hope that Jay was trying to give them all, and himself. Zane approached again, this time to Jay's side. he was guiding him, keeping an eye on the situation and on her.
his powers seemed hypnotized by her body, wanting to demand even more energy, more magnet for its thirst, and suddenly he seemed to be back on that huge white ship, charging the battery for help her and her mother escape.
his eyes became brighter, highlighting the blue spots and bringing also the sclera, making the black of the pupil disappear into white.
her chest detached from his hands as he let out a rush. the only problem was that he was no longer able to block the influence of the electricity. it was spreading completely through her, he could feel it. It felt like he had been shocked, but he couldn't let go the source. his hands were joined to her and tears came out of his eyes, terrified.
Jay could see her, but little by little his vision was becoming harder, approaching to a white light. they were calling to him, shaking him, he had to stop, but he couldn't stop the flow of the lightnings.
"Jay! Jay, stop! you're going to kill her like this!" the voice was Zane's, he understood it from the monotone and robotic tone. he had turned off the feelings switch, but he still managed to sound worried from his tone.
Nya was moving, reaching a stage of convulsions. if he had managed to revive her heartbeat, he was now killing her with his own hands again. his lower lip trembled, and his eyebrows couldn't find a way to stay still, now all he could see was her body shaking under his hands.
her face had returned to a more normal color, and her lips seemed to come back to its reddish way. her fingers twitched, her chest rose and then slammed back into the ground and her eyelids fluttered. her arms and legs began to move too, with the convulsions becoming more ferocious.
"Jay! control yourself, stop it!" this time it was Wu's voice. Jay wanted to do it, he wanted with all his being, he was trying, but his powers seemed stronger than his will. they didn't want to stop, and instead they wanted to stole her energy too. it seemed like revenge towards his weakness.
"I can't.. I-I ca- I can't do it!..” Jay cried, desperately trying to regain possession and control over them.
something came out of her mouth, but they didn't seem like words, but more as agonized whimpers. she was getting worse and his powers were about to melt her bones. as soon as her skin was about to burn, someone grabbed him by his arms and a blast came out of his hands as he was pulling away from her, hitting his back on the ground.
as he hadn't realized he was holding his breath, his mouth opened wide open along with his eyes, sucking in as much air as possible. his eyes returned to their normal sapphire color, but they were swollen and red after. he turned on his right, still on the ground, wanting to know who stopped him, seeing Cole next to him.
" 'you good, now?" Cole asked, wanting to make sure it was safe to let him go.
"I think so" Jay replied shortly, feeling his head get heavy and a bit foggy. when his mind cleared back, he turned to her, seeing that her head was carfully against Kai's chest, with Lloyd next to him. They were smiling, but he didn't understand why.
until she opened her eyes. the white lights reflecting above her brown spots and her pupils.
Zane turned behind, looking straight at Jay with the same relieved and happy smile as the two. Both Kai and Lloyd also looked up at him. He wasn't sure if he understood or if he even wanted to know the answer, but that smile seemed to be contagious. curious, he turned towards Cole.
and as he thought, Cole smiled to him too, showing the pride in his eyes "you did it buddy, you did it!" Cole patted him on his shoulder.
hearing his words, Jay lowered his head, slowly shifting his gaze to her as the realization kicked him. Kai was rocking with his back, letting a silent giggles out his mouth. he was hugging her, still gently. her hand weakly attempted to rest over his shoulder.
he was afraid to see her or her face mixing with her dead alternative-timeline frame, but her heart beating again made it impossible for him to not look to her. there was however hesitation on his grin, thinking he might have hurt her, and she would never forgive him.. but even if she could hate him after this choice of his, Jay would be still the happiest man of all Ninjago knowing she was still on the marathon of life.
Kai straightened back, still holding her in his arms. Nya turned around, finding his paralyzed gaze. she didn't move her eyes from his, and even him couldn't help but continue to watch her.
she was tired, exhausted, but despite being devastated, she faintly waved a smile towards him, and as soon as Jay noticed, shivers ran through his spine, he had really did it. her gaze was on him, her eyes were open and alive, nothing that announced the word death.
Jay approached the circle carefully. Lloyd moved away, with now Jay in his place, but still staying close to his big sister. Kai looked at him. he was no longer terrified, but instead a new determination, and above all gratification, lifted up in his gaze.
"I'd always trusted you Jay" he whispered for Jay, and their contagious smiles now picked him too.
Kai motioned to switch, and Jay quickly agreed, replacing Kai's arm under her back with his. she no longer was like a dead weight, even though she was exhausted, not being able to get up on her own, she had still managed to use all her strength to raise her face and searched his eyes again.
he watched how her chest moved up and down regularly. Jay saw her hand trembling, weakly reaching for his cheek, he helped her, gently grabbing her hand and bringing it over his face.
their time wasn't much right now. the others were handcuffed and he was still kneeling with her in his arms, but it was enough to erase an entire year of solitude, or at least set it aside during their little moment. he had to leave her, but he didn't want it to be a goodbye, he couldn't let it happen again and again. Jay was fed up, but when Wu approached and offered to take care of Nya, he accepted.
Jay kissed her forehead, with Nya closing her eyes and knitted her eyebrows in a line.
even when they blocked him and handcuffed him, he didn't take his eyes away from her, until he got into their helicopter as the other. Nya was now safe, and above all, strong. she would recover quickly, Jay knew it. and he knew he was right the day he saw her on that mech again, getting them out of Kryptarium.
when he saw her it felt like the first times after finding out she was her own samurai-X creation, and a lot had changed since those days, but the way Jay looked at Nya, that never changed. and never will.
who knows?..