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Christopher Diaz has one wish for Christmas. And since he isn’t seven anymore but twelve and almost a teenager he knows it’s up to him to make wishes come true. There is no Santa to help him along or any kind of fairies he could call upon for support. But he knows just who to ask for help. The fire-family is big after all. And he knows they’ve all been rooting something like this. So why not make it happen on Christmas?
It’s not like they’ll get any younger. And time is being wasted all around. Has been for years. Christopher Diaz is kind of tired watching his dad and his Buck dance around each other, drifting apart sometimes only to come back together but never taking this one final step.
He’s been watching it for years now. Has tried to help it along. But so far with no success.
So he’ll ask for help this time around. All the help he can get.
+++++++
It’s two weeks before Christmas when Buck comes over for their weekly movie night. One that hasn’t been so weekly during the last few months. A fact Chris tries not to be too annoyed about. After all, he isn’t a little kid anymore and doesn’t throw tantrums. If he was a little cold towards Buck once he came around again, well that’s between him and his stuffed dragon, who is still allowed to lounge around his bed.
And really, after seeing Bucks’s sad eyes the second time around Chris hadn’t been able to hold that grudge for any longer. After all, Buck was and still is back with them. That thing with his latest girlfriend long in the dust. And even if Christ had been excited about his dad being brave enough to call someone for a date, after the first few it had been pretty obvious that it wasn’t as much fun for his dad as it had seemed in the beginning. So both his dad and Buck are single. And they seem the happiest when they are together.
Christopher thinks it would just solve so many problems if dad and Buck got their heads out of their behinds and finally got together properly. Like everyone has been waiting for. Only, he has no real idea how to go about it.
He knows Buck has plans to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with his sister and her family before driving over to Captain Bobby, because the captain has a half-shift that day - and finally coming to them in the evening. Dad wants them to spend Christmas Day at Pepa’s because everyone will be there this year. Chris is kinda of lost when it comes to forming plans, seeing as they only have the late evening together.
He is about to wriggle from the nest of blankets on the couch to say hello to Buck when he hears his dad sigh. The one he usually uses when he is exasperated with something or someone, usually Buck. And Chris grins. Because he knows there’ll be a lecture of some sort coming within the next five minutes. He settles back into the blankets and keeps his eyes closed. Pretending to be asleep kinda helps a lot with gaining useful information in his house. He’s never been caught before. He bites down on his lip to keep the giggles in and waits for his dad to get into his “dad-mode”.
He doesn’t have to wait long.
“What did I say about buying all this stuff? Buck, I think I’m able to provide for a Christmas dinner.”
“Sure, Eds. Of course, you can. But it was easier to get it done today and have it all here instead of sending you on an errand run. One you would most likely be spending on the phone with me anyway. I'll get the perishables closer to the day anyway.”
There is shuffling and Chris thinks it’s bags being taken from hands and placed on top of the small dresser in the hallway. Buck always does this because he takes off his shoes before going further into the house. And his dad never even tries to take Buck’s purchases without being explicitly asked to do so.
The voices are a little closer now but quieter, like they are trying not to wake Chris. He can almost feel their eyes on him and tries to stay unmoving. It’s kinda hard when he wants to breathe out loud and tell them to stop being idiots. But he knows it won’t do any good.
“I can go grocery shopping on my own without your yapping in my ear, Buckley. Thank you very much,” his dad huffs out, seemingly annoyed but everyone in this house knows that one Eddie Diaz would rather spend the entirety of a trip to the store on the phone with Buck than having to brave the masses on his own. It’s been like this for years.
“Right. Anywayyyy… this should be enough for Christmas Day dinner and the morning after. I wish… yeah, no.. forget it…” Buck sighs and Chris tries hard not to roll his eyes behind his closed lids. It hurts, he learned it the hard way.
“What is it, Buck?”
Chris always wonders how his dad manages to sound so soft sometimes. His dad has many facets and Chris has learned to recognize a lot of them during the years. Growing up means being able to read people in different ways. He knows his dad isn’t perfect, has fears and traumas of his own.
But sometimes Chris forgets that his dad isn’t just a dad, or just a firefighter or just a best friend. He is all of it together and so much more. So hearing him being soft with someone who isn’t him sometimes is still a foreign concept. One Chris is learning to appreciate as well. It’s part of what makes his dad his dad and Eddie Diaz.
“Just… I love Jee-Yun. And I love Christmas with the family. But does it make me a bad person that I wish I wouldn’t have accepted Maddie’s invitation? Just a little?”
“Nah, man. Makes you someone with a lot of family and friends. Can’t be in several places at the same time.”
“I know. I just… we haven’t had Christmas morning together in ages… and things are good now… and I just… yeah.”
There isn’t any kind of sound for a second or two but then Chris thinks he hears rustling and a soft grunt and thinks they are hugging. He wishes he could move and watch. But he doesn’t want to give up this perfect eavesdropping opportunity. He can hear everything, but he dares not to open his eyes, in case he is being caught red handed.
“It’s ok, Buck. I get it. And you’ll be here for dinner. Best of both worlds, right? Or is it three worlds? Does Bobby count?”
There’s a soft laugh and something that sounds like a hand being slapped on a shoulder.
“Don’t let him hear that. Maybe, Maddie will let me go a bit early and I can sneak out of Bobby’s without much hassle.”
“One can dream,” his dad mutters and coughs when Buck laughs again. There is more rustling and then footsteps towards the kitchen.
“Let’s put this away and see if superman is up for a movie.”
He hasn’t been called that in a while and he sometimes misses the easiness of being a child. Being a teenager comes with a complete new set of experiences and problems. And sometimes it feels a little too overwhelming. So he doesn’t feel bad about taking small moments of reverting back to childhood behaviors.
So, he needs help with making his wish come true.
And he knows exactly who to call. Maddie first, he thinks. Then Captain Bobby. And tía Pepa as well. The latter one should be the easiest task, though. He knows Pepa is all for setting up people, especially his dad.
He is pretty sure this will work out in the end.
Everyone loves a happy ending, especially during Christmas.
He just hopes his dad and his Buck play along.
++++++++++++++++
Christopher doesn’t really know Buck’s sister that well. Sure, she has been around when everyone else from the firehouse was around as well. But he never really met her on his own or with just Buck there. So calling her out of the blue feels strange. He doesn’t even know what he wants to say yet.
He sends a text instead, the morning after the movie night. Saturday mornings usually mean he’s left to his own devices after breakfast when Buck and dad take up the fight against dust bunnies and mountains of laundry. Chris has long stopped trying to figure out when Buck became part of this routine. It’s what it is and he kinda likes it. The house feels a lot more like a home when things are like they are supposed to be. Without the interruptions of girlfriends wanting to do things during the weekends or movie nights.
He looks up Maddie’s number on Buck’s phone when dad and Buck are busy play-fighting over pancakes during breakfast. Buck uses his phone to play music all the time and leaves it laying around unlocked. Much to Chris’ delight and luck.
He uses his own phone, though. Leads the text by saying it’s Christopher and then adds that he needs her help with making Buck and dad realize that they are being idiots and if she’d be willing to come up with a plan. He adds that he doesn't want to set them up but create an opportunity for them to realize what they have and that Christmas seems like a good time to find those kinds of opportunities.
It doesn’t take long before his screen lights up with an answer. The first text message simply says “very clever”. The second one asks him to call her in an hour. He makes sure that everyone else in the house is occupied when he calls.
He tells her about the conversation he overheard, tells her about the one wish he has for Christmas and asks her if she thinks she can help with that. He also tells her that he doesn’t want to pull the families apart during the holidays either but has no idea how to manage that while also working on his wish coming true. Maddie laughs softly and tells him she will think about it.
Getting a hold of Captain Bobby turns out to be harder than expected. Mainly because he doesn’t have his number and Buck hasn’t been around the last few days. His dad’s phone is locked now, has been ever since the Uber-incident. So Chris can’t even sneak a look. He knows there is a book of important numbers by the landline but every time he tries to get a hold of it, his dad seems to materialize out of thin air.
In the end Chris has to resort to asking Harry for help. Harry who is half a continent away and thinks it’s stupid to try to get people together on Christmas. He also thinks it’s kinda intrusive to set people up and wont even listen to Chris saying it isn't like that. He also wonders how Chris even knows they feel that way about each other.
It sets the whole thing back by days because it sends Chris into a spiral of doubt and fear. Because what if Harry is right and he is forcing it? What if his dad and Buck really are just good friends and he is misreading the entire thing, destroying their friendship in the end? What if it’s just one-sided? That would suck. Like a lot. And Chris would feel so guilty. He doesn’t want anyone being outed against their will.
So he spirals. And withdraws. And worries. At the same time worrying his dad and Buck. It’s May who talks him out of it. Yes, Harry has a point. Yes, it might not work out. But also, Maddie sees the same thing he does otherwise she wouldn't be willing to even think about it. So maybe Chris isn’t too far off. And also, May thinks the chance of it working out is way higher than it not getting anywhere. She worked with Eddie Diaz after all. She is the one wo talks to Bobby in the end.
Chris doesn’t know what the adults come up with but when he gets a text from Maddie telling him that Christmas morning will be a big surprise and to trust her, he decides to do just that. He sends her a thumbs up, a smiling emoji and a thank you and waits for Christmas to come.
++++++
Buck spends Christmas Eve at his sister’s as planned. And Chris tries not to be too nervous about the outcome of the next day. He and his dad open one present each in the evening. Dad calls Buck and lets Chris say hello for a few minutes. He hears Maddie and Jee and Chimney in the background, laughing and singing badly along with children’s Christmas songs. It sounds nice, like the family life Buck deserves and Chris feels all warm about it.
They call family as well. His aunts, who will come around on the 26th on their way to a winter holiday long planned. Chris is looking forward to that as well.
It’s a good evening. Like the ones he used to have when he was little and dad came home from abroad. When he, his dad and his mom sat under the tree with a present each and hot chocolate. Chris’ cup was small and almost cold because he couldn’t drink out of it that well yet. It’s memories like those that make him smile now instead of feeling sad. And he’s glad that he can have those evenings with his dad again.
His dad gets a text right before Chris heads off to bed. There is a frown on dad's face and it makes Chris’ heart jump a little painfully. What if something came up? What if tomorrow won’t be the day he has been hoping for? What then? Chris doesn’t pray, doesn't really know how to go about it, but he hopes. Closes his eyes and hopes.
“Dad?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry. Just Pepa. Guess we have to take a detour to the station before going to her place tomorrow. No idea why she needs Bobby’s cake pans and why they are at the station but I’m too tired to figure it all out.”
Chris tries really hard not to smile. Even though he doesn’t know what is in store for tomorrow he instinctively knows this is part of it. So he just hugs his dad good night and falls into bed with a happy grin on his face. Tomorrow will definitely be great. They’ll be all together. And not because of them having to work or because of a catastrophe. But because they all want to be.
++++++++++++++
Christmas morning starts a little chaotically. Dad is on the phone grinning stupidly at some texts and forgets the eggs in the pan. He then has to swat the smoke away before it sets the fire alarm off.
Chris spills milk all over his favorite Christmas sweater and has to add to the swear jar. His dad is looking at him askance and somewhat surprised at the words Chris used. He mutters something about hanging out with firefighters too much and something else in Spanish but Chris is too busy trying to get his arms into the new sweater he got from Buck for the school Christmas play a few weeks ago to decipher what his dad is saying.
The sweater has “Tree Rex” printed on it and has bells attached to the dinosaur’s arms, which can get a bit annoying but Chris doesn’t care right now. It had been hard enough to convince his dad that this year Christmas sweaters are obligatory. So he can’t go without one when he finally got his dad into one. So the bells are it.
Anyway, they are already late when they get out of the house. LA traffic is doing its best to make them even later. But when they arrive at the station every stress related curse is forgotten when Bobby comes down the stairs with Athena by his side and half the Diaz-clan following. Tía Pepa and her family as well as abuela Isabel are there. As are Chris’ grandparents. They are allmwearing Christmas sweaters and Chris grins. He loves the sight of it all already.
Hen and Karen and Denny are next to Bobby, too and Chris cheers when Denny runs up to him. His dad just stands there and stares. He looks a little stupid like that but Chris can overlook that. Since this really is a surprise.
“Bobby?”
“Don’t ask me. It’s Pepa’s plan. I’m just providing the place and kitchen for what seems to turn into a huge family Christmas,” Captain Bobby says and then hugs Chris’s dad with a smile that makes Chris think he knows even more. Bobby knows everything.
“Tía Pepa?”
“Well, a little birdie told me that it had a wish for Christmas. This is us trying to make it come true. And my place would have been a bit too small for what’s to come.”
“What is to come?” his dad asks but gets shushed when there is the sound of another car approaching. They get rushed up the stairs in record time and Chris only has a second or two to hug his grandparents hello and smile when abuelo pulls his dad close, too. Things have changed and Chris is happy about it.
The next thing he knows is that there’s Buck’s voice floating up to them. He sounds confused and exasperated. Chris can just imagine the frown on his face. It has started to look similar to the one his dad sports when he doesn’t know what’s going on.
He risks a look at his side, where his dad is leaning against the festively set up table, eyes wide and happy smile on his lips. His cheeks are flushed and he ducks his head when tía Pepa and abuelo snort at him.
“Maddie? I don’t get why we are here. I’ll see Bobby later today.”
“I know that, Evan. But this is not just about Bobby.”
“What?”
Chris doesn’t really see who it is but suddenly his dad and him are guided towards the banister and are looking down at the Buckley-Hand family that had just arrived. Buck’s eyes are just as wide as his dad’s were a few minutes ago. And then a large smile is spreading over his face.
“Eddie. Chris. Abuela… Oh my god…”
Buck is up the stairs in record time and it doesn’t take long before he’s hugged his way through the Diazes and everyone else present. He looks so radiant. Chris never got what that actually means before. Now he thinks he knows what true happiness means. And he thinks he can feel it spread through himself as well. It’s this kind of warmth that envelops you and doesn’t let go. It feels like home, like you are in the place and with the people you belong.
“How?” Buck asks a few minutes later and it takes Chris a second to realize that everyone is looking at him.
“Uh… well… I heard you say you’d want to spend Christmas morning with us. And dad said it’s okay, because you can’t be at the same place at the same time. And I asked Maddie for help.”
Maddie thankfully steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder.
“I just thought why not come full circle? You had us all here when you guys needed to work. So this place is perfect to bring everyone together.” She shrugs a little and Chris grins. He knows there is more but this explanation works just as well.
“But I would have seen everyone today anyway.”
“Really, Evanito?”
“Ohhhh, I’m sorry, Abuela. Of course, this is so much better,” Buck says with a laugh and hugs Isabel Diaz again. She smiles indulgently and Chris knows she wasn’t really mad anyway.
“Everyone is here. This is awesome.”
“I had to negotiate that leftovers remain here after the fact. Other than that, the loft is ours for the time being,” Captain Bobby smiles. And Chris decides to thank him later.
For now he turns to Maddie and smiles. The bells on his sweater jingle and he laughs a little at that. Maddie does, too.
“Thank you. This is great. I know my wish is a bit different but Christmas with everyone is awesome as well.”
“Well it’s Christmas morning, so the day isn’t over yet,” Maddies says with a small wink and a smile. And suddenly Christ is looking forward to what’s yet to come.
It’s a feast, or you know, if Christ had to call it something, he would call it that. All the families together again - only lacking Michael, David and Harry. Even Hen’s mom made it and is in an animated talk with Athena once lunch is over. Chris knows everyone will go their separate ways soon, like it was planned before. Only Buck will join them earlier because Bobby told him he’d fulfilled his duty by being here and helping serve. It had all been said with a laugh and a hug. Mostly to make Buck not feel guilty, Chris figured. But he loves that he’ll have Buck around longer today and not just for a late dinner.
He also loves that his grandparents will join his aunts tomorrow and that his dad seems happy about that. Abuela needing a day off is understandable and he is so glad that she could make it.
It’s early afternoon when Chris hears someone shout a triumphant cheer and everyone stills. He sees Chimney first and then Maddie doubled over in laughter. There is a twig of mistletoe hanging above them and Chimney is trying to kiss Maddie in very exaggerated ways. It’s funny to watch and Chris smiles.
But then he hears a soft gasp behind him. Almost lost in the cheers for Maddie and Chimney. Everyone seems occupied with that scene but Chris turns around and almost swallows the juice he’d been drinking down the wrong way.
There in the corner of the kitchen are his dad and Buck. Above them, almost hidden from view, is another twig of Mistletoe. Chris waits with bated breath and watches. There seems to be a silent conversation going on. Something his dad and Buck have been doing since the beginning. And then his dad shifts a little, glances around, whispers something and leans in. The answering smile on Buck is so soft and so happy that Chris evades his eyes.
This is their moment. He doesn’t have the right to watch. They are mostly hidden from the rest of the loft anyway. So he lets his heart pound in a happy rhythm, breathes through his nose and bites his lip hart to not grin like a lunatic. It was meant to happen, he thinks. But he also knows no one would have forced it. Not today. No one would have put his dad and Buck in the spotlight, not like this. Never like this. He thinks no one in the fire-family would feel right about that. They had to figure it out on their own and Chris is just so damn happy to have a Christmas Day with everyone and his dads finally stopped being idiots. They deserve to be happy after everything.
He settles down on a chair close to the center of the party and watches Chimney make a production out of Jee-Yun opening presents.
“Wish came true?”
Maddie smiles down at him a minute or so later and then settles into the chair next to him.
“You set that up? Earlier? With Chimney?”
“A bit. But Chimney has been after me with this tradition that it was just right to have him let his fun. And when I saw them in the corner… let’s just say the timing was right,” Maddie shrugs. And Chris thinks it’s really kinda cool that she actually is part of the family.
“Thank you. Again.”
“You’re welcome. And I am happy it worked out. Happy for them. And for you.”
++++++++++++
Later, after a few Christmas movies, opening presents and the planned late dinner and icecream Chris settles into bed feeling accomplished and happy and at home with everything for the first time in a while. It’s like puzzle pieces fitting into place and making the picture complete. He grimaces a little at that metaphor because it’s been used so often. But it’s still fitting anyway.
He grabs one of his new books and is about to make himself comfortable when there is a soft knock on his door. It’s way past his bedtime but it’s Christmas and he knows his dad won’t say anything about the book.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, mind if I come in for a second?” His dad asks and there is a soft smile present. So Chris thinks he isn’t mad or anything. He nods and wriggles a little to make room. His dad settles on the edge of the bed. And Chris can see Buck hovering in the hallway, just outside the room.
“Buck?”
“Uh…” and then he shrugs, steps into Chris’ room as well and stops right behind his dad.
“I know you wanted to make Buck happy today and I am so proud of you for asking for help. It’s a good thing you helped make this happen. And I just wanted to let you know and thank you.”
He doesn’t know why but Chris feels his eyes tear up and he swallows hard. Dad looks a little shocked and moves in to hug him.
“Chris?”
“‘M fine, dad. Promise. Just happy.” He snuggles into the embrace and smiles when he feels another hand on his head, carding through his hair gently. Buck.
“I just wanted my wish to come true. I only had this one for Christmas,” he says as he pulls out of his dad’s arms. He smiles tearily at dad and Buck and shrugs.
“Did it?”
Buck looks curious but his dad looks suspicious, so Chris just laughs in delight.
“I had nothing to do with the Mistletoe. I swear. But it was my wish. So yes, it came true.”
“Uh, your… your wish was for us to… uh.. to kiss?” Buck stutters out, leaning forward to grip dad’s shoulder.
“No… well kinda. Guess kissing is part of it. Just, I don’t want to see you guys make out, because weird. And I didn’t see the kiss. I turned around. But you getting together, us being a real family. That was my wish. You are together now, right?”
His dad looks redder in the face than Chris has ever seen him and Buck doesn’t look any better. But at least no one is angry or shouting and Buck is actually smiling a little smugly.
“Oh Christopher. We are a real family. Even if Buck and I don’t… aren’t together. We love you. And nothing will change that.”
Chris doesn’t know what it is about adults always stating the obvious but his dad seems to have a knack for it.
“I know that, dad. But you love each other, too. And you guys being happy together makes it all so much better.”
There is a noise that sounds like a choked up sob coming from Buck’s side of the room and then Buck is kinda waving his arms and sort of flees out into the hallway. And if Christopher didn’t know him he might have thought Buck was sad because of him. But he knows Buck. So he just rolls his eyes and grins at his dad.
“Emotional isn’t he?”
And his dad laughs out loud. And then hugs him close again.
“I love you, mijo.”
“Love you, too, dad,” Chris says and then a little louder “Love you, Buck. Merry Christmas.”
“I love you, too Chris. Merry Christmas,” comes from the door, still sounding a little choked up. This time his dad rolls his eyes, too. Then gets up, places a kiss on Chris head and leaves him be.
The door closes softly behind him but not soon enough for Chris not to hear the “I love you, too” from his dad and the quiet sigh from Buck. He doesn’t hear the answer but he can imagine what it might be. Knows what it probably is.
He falls asleep with the book open on his chest, a smile on his lips and the knowledge that sometimes wishes do come true.