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Akito sighs, watching his breath billow out into the air as he leans into Toya’s side. He’s bundled up as much as he can possibly be; hat, pulled-up scarf, gloves, three layers of jackets, a coat on top. He feels a little ridiculous beside Toya’s sweatshirt and hoodie, but sue him, it’s cold. Akito can barely feel his partner through the layers, but snuggles against him anyway. He just wants to be close to Toya.
It’s December 24th; Christmas eve. As much as they both want to spend part of the following day together, Toya’s father had refused him any freedom from family obligations, so they aren’t going to see each other again for another two days. So, they met up at ten o’clock that morning and spent the entire day together; between cafe festive menus, themed arcade games, and live house performances, it was a day well spent. Now they’re just trying to savour every minute of the twenty minutes they have before Toya’s curfew. Lying together in a bowl swing at a playground definitely works.
“Toya,” Akito starts, finally breaking the silence. He intertwines his hand with his partner’s. “Dude, I can smell how guilty you feel. C’mon, talk to me.”
Toya sighs softly, turning his head to press a kiss into the ginger mess of Akito’s hair where it pokes out from under his hat. “I know, I’m sorry. I just hate that he’s ruining our first Christmas as a couple. I’d much rather spend it with you than with family I barely know.”
“I know, Toya, I’m bummed too. But you tried, that’s more than enough. I’ve really enjoyed today. I’m just looking forward to spending new years with you. Try not to worry, okay?”
Toya just hums in response, pressing himself into Akito. Another few minutes pass. As usual, Akito breaks the silence.
“Tou, I hate to sound impatient, but are you gonna give me that gift you mentioned, or..?”
Toya chuckles and leans out of the swing to reach his bag. He’d announced the gift in the morning, but passed up every opportunity to give it throughout the day. Akito has to admit he’s curious. After a moment, he’s handed a small box; Toya is holding one too. Akito slips the lid off and pulls out the item inside. It looks like a small watch, but it’s entirely blank, made of black rubber. Akito turns it in his hands and looks over at Toya holding its twin; from the look on his face, there’s definitely more to it.
Toya holds his wristband up beside Akito’s and smiles. He motions to where the face would be if it was an actual watch; “Press here.”
Confused, Akito obliges. He feels a gentle click below the rubber. After a moment, Toya’s watch lights up orange, and Akito hears a faint buzz. The taller’s smile widens. Toya presses twice on his own watch; Akito’s repeats the pattern in vibration and a blue glow.
“Toya…” Akito throws his head into the crook of his partner’s neck, grinning. “God, you’re such a sap, you know that?”
When Akito raises his head, Toya is wearing the watch, eyes sparkling. He turns to the smaller and pouts, pressing on the button for a long moment. Akito rolls his eyes but followed the silent instruction. “I thought,” Toya starts, watching Akito fiddle with the strap, “since my father gets annoyed if I use my phone too much during family gatherings, tomorrow I can use this to stay in contact with you.” Toya looks at Akito. “So, if you get a nice gift or something, tell me.”
Akito chuckles, purely affectionate. “You’re so cute, it’s unfair.”
Toya doesn’t seem to hear him. He’s thinking out loud. “Also, I know you have trouble sleeping, so I can send little buzzes at night to see if you’re awake. We can agree on some codes and messages – maybe I should have a look at morse code? Oh, and I was hoping that it might stop you from texting me during classes.”
“Oh, you just had to bring studying into it, didn’t you,” Akito grumbles, but there’s no bite to his voice. He smiles and presses against Toya again. “Seriously, thank you. It’s really sweet. Did you pick the colours?”
Toya nods, and Akito’s smile widens. “Good. They’re perfect.”
They fall back into silence for a few minutes, playing with the watches and exchanging buzzes. It’s nice.
“Hey, Toya.”
“Hm?”
“If I do this–” he presses a quick sequence of three buzzes— “it means I love you. Got that?”
Toya is silent. After a moment, Akito feels three quick vibrations against his wrist. Then three more. Another three. Again, and again, and again. Akito begins to laugh, seeing Toya’s excited smile in the corner of his eye. The buzzes don’t cease. “I—I get it, Toya, I love you too! Here, look—”
Akito returns the vibrations, and Toya’s smile widens, but he doesn’t stop. They’re both laughing. “Toya!”
Akito reaches out, and after a moment of fighting, manages to grab Toya’s wrists and pull them apart. Toya’s eyes are closed, he’s smiling so wide, he’s laughing. Akito could live in this moment forever.
“Hey, Toya. If you really love me that much, prove it.”
Toya makes a confused noise once his laughter dies down, to which Akito responds with a pointed look at his partner’s lips. Toya rolls his eyes. But he doesn’t exactly hesitate to close the distance between them.
The kiss is soft and loving, but Akito is still holding Toya’s wrists, making it easy for Akito to turn the taller onto his back and roll on top of him. He feels Toya smile as he deepens the kiss. After a moment, Akito starts trailing down onto Toya’s neck, earning a nervous laugh. “H–Hey, Aki, we’re outside! Besides, I have to—”
Right on cue, Toya’s alarm goes off. Ten minutes until curfew. Akito groans into his partner’s neck. Leaving one more kiss on his lips, Akito climbs out of the swing, causing it to rock. Toya yelps quietly. Akito can’t pass that up; he stands at the back of the swing and grabs it, slowly pulling it up. “Ah- um, Akito, uh—”
He drops it.
Toya makes a shrill sound as the swing does its job, pulling back and forth, the chains clanging softly. Akito snickers. After a few seconds, it slows enough for Akito to see Toya’s panicked expression as he holds the edges so hard that his knuckles turn white. His eyes are screwed shut. His breathing is just a little too fast. Akito quickly places a hand on the swing to steady it, immediately guilty. Once it’s mostly stopped, he moves his hand to Toya’s face. “Hey, sorry, you okay?”
Toya just grumbles in response. His eyes open, and his gaze trails down to Akito’s wrist. The ginger rolls his eyes and presses a sequence of three into the watch. Toya smiles. “C–Can you hold onto the swing while I get out?”
Akito chuckles quietly, but obliges. Toya’s fear of falling does get a little out of hand. He’d never hesitate to help, though.
It takes a moment of clambering for Toya to get out of the swing, and he quickly picks up his bags. Before he pulls on the backpack, he pauses. “Oh, one more thing.”
Akito watches curiously as Toya rummages through his bag, then eventually pulls out a large pack of button batteries. Akito chuckles. Smiling sheepishly, Toya hands them over. “So that you can change them whenever you need.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Akito takes them with a smile, pulling Toya into another hug. “I promise I won’t ever take it off. Except for when I’m in the shower and stuff.”
“Yes, please don’t break it.”
They both melt into the embrace; Akito’s head tucks perfectly into the crook of Toya’s neck, and he presses a few gentle kisses into the skin. Toya sifts the ginger hairs at the base of Akito’s neck between his fingers. Akito has forgotten about the winter cold; he’s warm, so long as he’s with Toya. They stay like that, just holding each other, savouring the moments they have before they have to split apart. Two days is a long time when they’ve seen each other every day for the last three years.
Apparently, though, they stay like that for too long.
Toya’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he reluctantly pulls himself away just enough to check what it is. A message from his father, asking his whereabouts.
“...Fuck.”
“Eh? Toya, you don’t swear, like, ever, what’s—” Akito glances at the phone and sees the message, and, more pressingly, the time. 20:56. “Oh. Wanna run?”
Somehow, despite the gravity of his impending grounding if they don’t arrive in less than four minutes, Toya smiles. “Of course, partner.”
With that, they set off, sprinting hand-in-hand towards the Aoyagi house. Toya has always had lower stamina compared to Akito, but his boyfriend is more than willing to compensate, tugging him along when he falters behind. The nighttime silence is filled with their panting and the scuffing of shoes on concrete. Through the ache growing in his legs and the panic crowding his mind, Toya laughs. He laughs, choking on air, pace unchanging as the two of them run through the winter cold, and it’s infectious, Akito quickly joining in. God, we’re so stupid – in too deep, enjoying each other’s presence so much that their worries pass with the scenery.
In shockingly little time, they arrive at the house. Still running the last few metres, Akito pulls out his phone; 20:59, no time to spare. As much as he wants to follow their usual routine of heartfelt goodbyes and wishes of goodnight, even moreso with their impending separation, he knows it isn’t worth the risk. Instead, when they reach the house, he just pulls Toya to face him and leans into a kiss. It’s messy and desperate, both trying to catch their breath from all the running, trying to pour all of their feelings into the embrace, pressing their lips together with a sense of urgency. The ticking of time forces them to separate. With a faltering smile, Toya dashes to his house’s entryway, disappearing behind the gate in a matter of seconds.
Akito watches, heart aching. That was it. For the next two days—probably more, with their timing—they aren’t going to see each other. Akito feels just a little pathetic for it, two days isn’t all that long. But Toya is his partner, his other half, as much as he loathes the overly cheesy phrase, and having to wake up knowing that he won’t see Toya is always a little harder.
Akito knows it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but the fact that he didn’t get to say ‘I love you’ before Toya was gone starts to play on his mind as he finally turns towards his own home.
But wait – he can.
He reaches one hand to the opposite wrist.
I love you.
And, barely a moment later,
I love you too.