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The Alkaloid Christmas Special

Summary:

Aira and Hiiro are at the mall and stumble upon every kids greatest wish for the holidays... Mall Santa. And guess who wants to sit on his lap.

Notes:

ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!! Two Cabbage posts in the span of 4 days!!! I don't think i've ever posted a christmas fic in all 3 years i've been writing enstar lol so congrats to Alkaloid being the first.

I was possessed by the spirit of Santa himself and woke up one morning with only "Aira and Hiiro go to see Mall Santa" in my brain and i knew it was the will of god for me to write this. So enjoy lol

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“UWWAA~” Aira cooed, fangirling, holding up a newly acquired piece of merch, “I cannot believe they had any of these left!!”

Said merch was a sparkly matching pin set of Eichi Tensouin and Rei Sakuma from a recent angel and devil set crossover collection. It wasn’t common fine and Undead did merch together, so this was a MUST HAVE for the little fanboy. Thankfully he got it, if it had sold out before it was his turn in the long queue, heads would have rolled. One specific head.

"The merch drop was this morning, it's a miracle I even got one considering how LATE we got here.” Aira shot his companion a dirty look, one that went over the unsuspecting boy.

“Huh?” Hiiro must have just noticed the curses Aira was silently slinging at him as they walked down the crowded mall walkways. “Oh I’m so happy to be here with you too Aira-!”

Aira sighed into his hand. The reason he almost didn’t get his rare pin-set was (no surprise) because of Hiiro! Unfortunately it had been Aira's turn to babysit Hiiro for the day and there was no way of him getting out of it or pushing him off onto a different Alkaloid member. Tatsumi seemingly had important plans for the day and Mayoi was as elusive as ever. And it’s not like he could be pawned off to his deadbeat brother.

So Hiiro had to come with Aira to the merch drop. Which proved a bigger issue than Aira had hoped. Waking the boy up and preparing him for the day was already a struggle, then making breakfast for them and rushing them out the door was more than he was paid to deal with. Wasn’t Hiiro supposed to be older than Aira??

“So what do you wanna do now Aira? I think everyone here is doing shopping.” Hiiro chirped.

“Yes Hiro-kun. It’s a mall. That’s usually what people do here…” No Aira just wanted to go home and relish in his victory. That and rearrange his entire ReiEichi shrine to be centered around his newest item. He was already picturing the theme and layout in his head. “Not to mention Christmas is next week, so some people are last minute gift shopping for their kids or whatever.”

Hiiro looked around at all the people rushing from store to store with mountains of shopping bags and wrapped boxes. Almost as if there were a holiday right around the corner. Aira had taken them Christmas shopping a few weeks prior, getting a headstart on the gift giving season. The smaller Idol boasted in his great ability of knowing exactly what to get all his friendly fellow idols, which turned out to just be different merchandising of themselves. Definitely a choice! Aira was more accustomed to the western idea of Christmas gift giving, which was slowly becoming more mainstreamed in Japanese culture. But Hiiro, who was still getting used to Christmas as a holiday in general, was mostly confused by all the merriment, and only knew what he knew from Aira’s not-so-great teachings. So he also got all his friends and family idol merch of themselves.

So past merch gift giving, decorating fir trees, and Christmas infused idol songs, Hiiro was clueless.

“Wait for the kids?” Hiiro scrunched his nose, looking at Aira in utter confusion, “Why would people shop for kids, doesn’t Santa bring them their gifts? That’s what you said after all.”

“What-? Hiiro no-“ Aira tried not to laugh, “That’s so like you Hiro-kun. Santa couldn’t possibly give every kid a present! Plus he’s not-“

Aira swore he had broken the news of Christmas’ magic to the boy after they finished Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer. But just like then, Hiiro’s face looked twisted in a pleading cry. Almost as if he were a 7-year old learning the tooth fairy wasn’t real, which thankfully was not one of the things Alkaloid had to break to him. Aira couldn’t believe that Hiiro Amagi believed in Santa, especially after knowing about the concept of Christmas for only a few months. For the past week the boy had gone on and on about how cool and hard working Santa was, it was actually quite endearing how huge of a fan he was. Yet somehow, he couldn’t find the right way to break the news to the boy.

“He’s not what… Aira?” Hiiro pleaded, lip quivering.

“Uhh I just mean, he’s not-uh- making gifts right now! Yeah he’s busy so parents have to help him out yanno!” Phew, nice save. As mean as Aira usually was to the poor naive Hiiro, he somehow didn’t have the heart to break the news.

“Busy?”

“Yeah, busy.” Aira crossed his arms, obviously done with all of this, “So let's just go home now-“

But as the duo turned the corner into the busy mall center, that’s when Hiiro’s eyes widened with stars.

There in the middle of the tall ceilinged mall center, was an ornately decorated scene right out of a holiday movie. Towering trees decorated with ornaments and tinsel, candy-cane laned walk-ways, fake snow layered on the ground, all complete with a giant red sleigh in the middle of it all. What Aira did not see among all the barfed up Christmas decor, is what Hiiro immediately pointed out first.

“SANTA?!?”

Oh no. One thing Aira had forgotten in the weird blend of western customs was the strange inclusion of a mall Santa. A stranger dressed to look like the iteration of Saint Nick, used for kids to sit atop his lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas. But the whole situation was meant for kids, everyone knew that, and the whole set-up screamed kid friendly. Not Hiiro friendly. Yet of course-

“OH MY GOD AIRA WE HAVE TO GO MEET HIM!!”

“Absolutely not Hiro-kun. Do you know how embarrassing that would be for us idols to be caught sitting on Santa’s lap?!” He cried, hiding his face with his hand in an attempt to not be seen walking with the obnoxiously loud Hiiro. He just wanted to go home! He had a date with his ReiEichi merch!!

“Lap-!? We can sit on his lap?” Oh god why did Aira even mention that. Hiiro puppy eye-ed Aira and began to beg, "Aira PLEEEASE I need to meet Santa and tell him how cool he is for making every kid’s Christmas so special! What if it was Rei-senpai, you’d wanna sit on his lap and tell him how big of fan you are!”

How dare Hiiro try to use his oshi against him like that! Of course if Rei Sakuma was sitting in a vampire throne in the middle of the mall Aira would drop EVERYTHING to go sit on his lap. INNOCENTLY. He wasn’t any of those vulgar twitter stan lusting over idols! (Looking at you, reader.) As a fellow Idol he had more respect!

“You tricky tricky Hiro-kun,” Aira chuckled, “We didn’t come to the mall for anything else, remember how Tattsun-senpai always tells us to 'follow our plans, lest we fall off the path into temptation and sin.’?” This is like that.”

“This is not like that Aira! I went to your silly idol store, why can’t we go meet Santa? This is bigger than idols! It’s Santa, Aira!!”

Damn? Hiiro saying something is bigger than idols means big business. And, well, he had a point. Aira did drag him out here, even if he had no choice, so it was only fair Hiiro got to do something he wanted to do too. So the little soldier caved, grabbed his fellow idol’s hand and dragged him into the mall Santa line.

“Okay, but behave. I’m not having a repeat of that BTS concert we went to.” Aira grumbled. He patted his precious shopping bag and whispered, ‘don’t you worry my sweet, our date will just have to start later…’ Hiiro pretended not to hear.

The boy was a little too preoccupied with bouncing up and down with excitement. With every passing mother and child taking their turn, the Alkaloid boys got closer and closer to meeting The Santa. Only 10 minutes had passed before it was the pair’s turn. The elf helper on duty, who looked like they were not being paid enough, unhooked the queue line and let them enter Santa’s grotto.

Honestly, it was pretty magical. A red carpet had taken them into the walled off area with the giant shiny sleigh that doubled as Santa’s throne. Sparkling fake snowflakes littered the ground where peppermint flowers popped up from beneath the blanket of faux snow. Twisting fake fern trees decorated with red and gold baubles delicately hung off the branches framing the grotto. Everything was glittering and gleaming with Christmas magic. It was like stepping into a hidden wonderland through the thick density of a pine forest, closed to all who did not believe. This was Santa’s grotto, and for a second Aira almost believed it was all real.

But sitting firm in the middle of it all, was the man of the hour. Santa himself.

Hiiro looked like he was going to explode. This was probably what Aira looked like just half an hour ago at his store. The redhead was frozen in place, in complete and utter awe from everything, not even a slight nudge from Aira to move forward got him to budge.

One thing did though, “Ho, Ho, Ho-! Why, hello there little boys!”

Little boys? Aira almost cringed.

“SANTA!” Hiiro cried. “IT REALLY IS YOU-!”

“Of course it’s me, come sit on Santa’s lap my dear boy.” His voice wasn’t as deep and jolly as Aira would have assumed a dressed up mall Santa would have. If anything, it was quiet and soft, just like his kind violet eyes. Strangely familiar. Also he was thin as a stick, no round belly, just thin legs that looked like they would snap under any weight. This was lost on Hiiro though, who happily skipped over and jumped into Santa’s lap.

With a strain in his voice, from the heavier-than-a-kid Hiiro on his hip, he attempted to launch into his script, “I knew you were coming, so I checked my list twice and it says you’ve been a very good kid this year.”

“HAVE I REALLY?”

Why was Hiiro so surprised? Did he think he’d been naughty this year? Well, the whole ‘destroying idols’ thing did happen briefly, and it probably wasn’t on the criteria list for either naughty or nice. So maybe Hiiro was at an even neural zero and therefore was put on the nice list by default. Who was Aira to even ponder such a stupid thing anyway?

Mall Santa smiled happily at the reaction, but Aira could see the pain on his face and the shake to the leg Hiiro was seated upon. He decided to skip some lines and jump right to the golden question“Yes! So why don’t you tell me what you-“

“Wait, how do you know I’ve been bad or good?” Innocently enough, Hiiro asked.

“I keep record of all the little girls and boys-“

“Why do your reindeer fly? When I hunted deer back home none of them could fly, they could barely jump away from our spears.”

“Oh, well, um… they are magical reindeer only at the North Pole-”

“And how do you make so many toys for all the kids? Wait and how do you get to every house all over the world in a single night?” Not waiting for any of the answers to the burning questions, Hiiro gasped with hurt in his voice, “How come you never came to my village for Christmas?”

“OKAY-“ Aira finally stepped in to save the poor Santa, who was sweating at this point, “Why don’t you just tell Santa what you want for Christmas!”

The mall Santa almost sighed in relief. He looked up to his savior and thanked the boy with his eyes. Again, something about those violet eyes were very familiar to him.

“Right right, what would you like for Christmas then, my child?” Santa held back a straining cough.

“Hmmm…” Hiiro gave it a good thought before delivering the single most dumbest answer possible, “Omurice!”

Aira just about fell to the floor. What was that supposed to mean!? Was he suddenly Niki, lusting over food at every moment? Or was Aira once again faced with the conclusion that he does in fact NOT feed Hiiro enough- to the point where he’s asking Santa for Omurice like a starved Victorian child!

Santa did not seem phased by Hiiro's ridiculous answer. If anything he looked thankful he got one at all! The bounce of his leg was growing more and more noticeable and I think he just wanted the overgrown boy off his lap. Heh, that was kinda familiar- wait. Santa’s beard was slipping off his chin too. Surly from the sweat dripping thanks to the extra strength he was mustering to keep Hiiro balanced. As it dropped off his chin, two familiar birth marks were revealed. Aira squinted at them.

“Fufufu, Hiiro-san. That is exactly what I expected you’d ask for.” Santa chuckled between exasperated grunts.

Wait. How did this random mall Santa know Hiiro’s name? Aira never mentioned it. Unless this stranger was a secret Alkaloid stan, he shouldn’t know who they are… Unless.

“TATTSUN-SENPAI?!?” Aira gasped, putting together all the puzzle pieces. The soft purple eyes, the strengthless legs, the moles! Oh my god it was Tatsumi!

“Tatsumi-Senpai?!” Hirro echoed Aira, but with confusion in his tone as his head whipped around violently looking for his senpai. “Is he here to meet Santa too?"

Aira stomped over to the “Santa” and without a care for anything or anyone else, yoinked away a singular red hat and face beard. Underneath revealed the teal messy hair and a clean shaven face of their fellow Alkaloid idol.

Hiiro gasped, as if Aira had beheaded the real Santa Claus. But then gasped again at the sight of the senpai.

“TATSUMI-SENPAI IS SANTA CLAUS???”

“No you idiot Hiro-kun! Tattsun-senpai is pretending to be Santa.” He smacked the boy lightly upside the head.

“Guilty~” Tatsumi sang, happy with himself somehow. “But I didn’t think you two kids would show up to my grotto. Happy accident, is it not?”

Aira was still flabbergasted, millions of thoughts running through his head. The most prominent being: Why Tatsumi? And how is he gonna explain this all to Hiiro?

But thankfully, Tatsumi took it upon himself to do some explaining. “You might be wondering why I’m working as a mall Santa? Well as a Christian I felt it was important to be involved in such an important religious holiday such as Christ’s birth. I’m simply bringing cheer to those celebrating~”

Now Aira and Hiiro didn’t know much about Christianity (outside of their one hellish trip to church) but from what they did know, Santa Claus really had zero part in the Birth of Christ. Last time they checked, old Saint Nick was not one of the visitors of the manger, or whatever those nativity set decorations were portraying.

“Um. Okay.” Aira started, “I’m failing to see the connection here.”

“It's simply logical for a priest to portray the role of Santa.”

No it was not logical.

“So I’m not gonna get my omurice?” Hiiro whined, not really connecting all the dots of what Mall Santa Tatsumi implied.

“Jesus Christ Hiro-kun, enough with the Omurice, you had some this morning! Are we seriously not feeding you enough?”

“Eh eh eh, Aira-kun.” Tatsumi wiggled a disapproving priest's finger at the boy, "What did I say about using God’s name in vain? It leads you down that dangerous path to Satan’s damnation.”

“UAAAAW SATAN?!?” A terrified, but muffled, voice sounded from close by. It also sounded familiar. But before any of the idols could ponder who it belonged to, a decorative present box near Santa’s feet began to wriggle and writhe, as if something was about to burst from inside.

And burst it did, as a purple blur hatched from inside to reveal the creature stirring.

“MAYOI-SENPAI!” Hiiro cheered, their final member joining them as he always did. “Are you here to see Santa too! Spoiler alert, it may or may not be Tatsumi-senpai.”

“W-Where am I?!” The terrified man shrieked as he attempted to cower back into his present box. “EEK CHRISTMAS-!”

“Oh Mayoi-senpai.” Hiiro laughed. Then Aira joined in and Tatsumi followed, all three enjoying the Christmas cheer and shenanigans the Alkaloid members always found themselves in.

“You know what I think this calls for?” Tatsumi said, gathering his members around the shoulders into a festive group hug, “Ice cream~”

Mayoi screeched again, possibly at the forced closeness or because he was still confused how he got to the mall. No one would ever know.

“Ice cream? Silly Tattsun-senpai. It’s the middle of December, no one eats ice cream.” Aira rolled his eyes playfully.

Tatsumi laughed, a little jollily, “Hot chocolate then?”

“Hot chocolate ice cream!” Hiiro exclaimed, and everyone laughed.

Mayoi screamed again as the four dragged him off on their merry way. Don’t worry about the rest of the parents and kids in line to meet Santa. The magic was pretty much lost the minute Tatsumi’s hat and beard were ripped off. It’s best not to think about it.

All that mattered was the true Christmas spirit flowing through the members of Alkaloid.

Notes:

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

twt Cabbageslayyer

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