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It had taken just one glance at Toriel's face for Sans to know that something was wrong. He just hadn't known how wrong yet.
"Sans," she whispered, throat sore from crying.
"Tori, what's wrong? They - I mean, another human hasn't been here, right?" he asked, dropping the bundle in his arms to rush to her. She didn't respond, just heaved more wracking sobs into his jacket.
God, he thought, why had he left her alone? It had only been a few minutes - he'd needed more clothes from home and he couldn't stand to be there long besides - but it had obviously been long enough for something tragic to happen. Tragedy heaped upon the devastation already wrecked on the underground.
Was it only a month ago that their lives had been torn apart? It felt like longer. Longer since his brother....
After so long, another human had finally fallen. The others had died quickly on their own, but this one prevailed. At first, he'd hoped they would spare everyone. Show mercy and maybe, somehow, save them all. It had happened before, he knew, so it could happen again. Instead, it had pitted itself against the entire underground. And it had won. There were scarcely a hundred monsters left. It seemed like everyone had fallen to its blade. The sentries of Snowdin, now dust through a nearly empty town. Undyne, despite her best efforts, rests in a place of honor in the memorial to the lost, alongside the others who'd fell to the demon raging through the underground. Asgore had a spot of honor as well, in the center of the shrine. Mettaton, the star of the underground, had his dust commemorated there alongside.... most everyone else.
It had been a month, but Toriel was sobbing as though she'd just found out that everyone had died all over again. Sans couldn't handle any more death, any more suffering. Yet here he was, trying to do for Toriel what he'd done for his.... He had to stop himself there, or they'd both be sobbing messes and Tori didn't need that.
It took her a while, but eventually she pulled away. She wouldn't look at Sans, wasn't looking at anything, eyes far away but in so much agony.
"Tori, please, for the love of god just tell me what's wrong," he begged. No more, please, nothing else could have happened, right?
"Sans, I.... a messenger came, today, while you were out. I haven't spoken much with anyone aside from yourself, you know. Sans, I am going to ask you a question, and, please, I need the truth." Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and he felt like she was drawing a noose closed around his neck. A noose made of his own lies, said to protect her from the pain filled truth.
"I once asked you to protect any human that came through the door to the Ruins. Little more than a month ago, I allowed a child through. I.. Sans... That child... did they...?" Her question trailed off, she wasn't capable of finishing it, but she doesn't need to. Sans already knew what she was asking, knew it before she opened her mouth, knew it was coming eventually and still prayed she would never find out.
He'd lied to her. When she had left the Ruins to attempt to rule, he'd been the only one in the Core. When she had asked he'd told her that the monsters had been killed by a different human, one who'd slipped through the barrier in the castle. Her human, the one she spoke so fondly of, had narrowly escaped the underground. Unlikely as it had been, she'd accepted his explanation. Maybe, somewhere, she'd known he hadn't been honest with her, but she'd wanted to hear that lie. Wanted to know she hadn't indirectly caused this massacre.
"I.. Tori..." He can't say it, can't hurt her any more.
"Sans," Toriel whispered, "Please."
"..... Yes," he said, and it's the third hardest thing he'd ever done. The first was scraping what was left of Papyrus into a jar and the second had been finding enough energy, enough of anything inside of himself with the gaping hole his brother's death had left to get up off of the floor of the house they'd shared. The memory burns and he's crying again and he's not holding Toriel, she's holding him, but it doesn't help. Nothing helps.
"Then I - Sans, I might as well have killed them all," Toriel whimpered. "That means, your brother, Papyrus, I..."
"Don't Tori, please I can't... I can't think about that."
She fell silent and he tried to pull himself together. For her sake, if nothing else, he had to be strong. In the wake of the destruction, neither of them had really discussed what they'd become. He'd followed her when she'd stepped down mere days after starting her rule, and he'd stayed in the Ruins with her. They'd comforted each other with their presence and their bodies as well as they could, but nothing was really okay. Toriel hadn't stopped crying, and the void in his chest hadn't gotten any better. He'd hidden behind the false domestic life, telling bad jokes and laughing at hers but if he was entirely honest their laughter was too hysterical to be wholesome anymore.
"Sans, I am so, so sorry."
Too little, too late.
"Tori, this, none of this is your fault. Paps he... he was too good. Too trusting. He couldn't believe that anyone had a bad bone in their bodies because he didn't have any. He was the best person I ever knew. I... would give anything to have him back. But if he were here... Tori I don't know how he would survive this. He couldn't handle this disaster. There's this kid, in Snowdin, he doesn't have any arms. Little tiny spike headed kid with no arms. He can't balance too well but you'd never know it from the way he runs around. He's always falling down and this one time Pap is there and he sees him fall and he just runs over like it's... like it's his kid that's.... that's fallen down a - and he's fussing over him and..." Sans tried so hard to hold it together but he was sobbing already and it felt like every ragged breath is going to tear his rib cage in two. Toriel hugged him tightly and that was all that kept him together as he finally, finally let himself cry.
He felt drained as he slowly hiccuped his way into silence. It had to have been hours later, but Toriel had sat there and held him the entire time. She didn't say anything as he fell silent, and he was so, so grateful. Grateful for her calming presence, grateful for her jokes and pies and just her.
"I am sorry. I did not intend to cause you pain," she said quietly.
"I was already in pain," he said, "You just made me face it."
"Still, I am sorry. For that, and for...."
"Tori." He grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. "It wasn't your fault. The kid never killed anyone in the Ruins."
"Yes, but if I had not forced you to make that promise, you brother might still be..."
"I... don't think so. I wanted to believe that the kid was good too, you know. I didn't realize how wrong I was to think that until they... they killed Papyrus." He was still choking on his name. He wondered if he would ever be able to say it without feeling like he was on fire.
"I would very much like to have gotten to know your brother," Toriel said.
"You know, I think he would've liked you too."
It took a good deal more talking, but Toriel's guilt had abated somewhat and he'd actually started to feel something close to alive again. They'd gone to bed that night a little more whole than they'd left it that morning.
"Sans! Sans for pity's sake it's two in the afternoon - oh my god is that spaghetti from a week ago? I know my culinary expertise astounds, but honestly! Clean your room!"
It took a moment for Sans to fully register where he was. Last he remembered, he'd been laying in bed with Toriel, and this voice certainly wasn't Tori's soft tones.
"Sans! You are getting ever more insufferably lazy!" The owner of the voice yanked the covers off of Sans' face and scowled down at him.
"P - Papyrus?" This was a dream, he was sure. But he could feel hope blossoming in his chest cavity nonetheless.
"Who else ever enters this pig pen you call a bedroom?"
Sans grabbed his brother's arm silently and pulled him into an embrace. Papyrus, confused, asked questions, but didn't pull away. Sans ignored them and focused on the fact that his brother was alive - alive and well and thriving once more. He wiped the tears away before letting go of Papyrus.
"Is something wrong, Sans?" Papyrus asked, worried.
"Nah bro, just thought you deserved a hug for being so awesome."
"The great Papyrus is awesome, aren't I?"
"The awesomest."
"Nyeh heh heh! But of course! Now, I am off to reset my puzzles, and you should do the same! Seven days, Sans! Seven!" Papyrus stomped down the stairs before calling back, "But first, eat some of the spaghetti in the fridge! You didn't eat at all yesterday! And none of that junk from Grillby's!"
The door slammed as his brother left and Sans put his head in his hands. His tears this time were tears of relief. His brother was alive, and the other time line no more.
He got up shakily, ate the spaghetti - it was terrible but it tasted how Pap always made it and that was what he needed - and went to his sentry station. The kid would arrive tomorrow. Until then, he didn't have a way to know if his brother would die again. He didn't know if the underground would be pushed back into chaos, or saved. He had no idea if he'd face the kid again and again and again and again and again in the hall of judgement, a nearly infinite, hellish loop of murder after murder, dark red staining the soft gold, flowing from that tiny, broken body. But today he had his brother, and as far as he was concerned that was enough. He would make it be enough.