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you and ramona… divorced?
scott sipped a glass of wine that wallace offered him. he was already partly intoxicated, despite having drank like two drops.
yeah
what the fuck, scott?
since when?
just recently
she kicked me out of her house
so, i guess i came here to…
ask you to let me live with you a while?
wallace stared incredulously at scott.
he didn’t answer.
…
just for now? until i find a new place to live in, then i won’t bother you anymore.
wallace laughed.
did scott think this was a joke.
ha, that’s what you told me the last time and it took you tying the knot with ramona to finally get you off my back.
when do you think you’ll find another girl that's willing to commit? with you?
…
thought so.
hey, come on buddy
i’m not thrilled about this either. i’m embarrassed that i’m practically forcing you to let me mooch off you
and my husband
don’t forget i have a husband.
right…
so, i’m sorry
…
…
…
okay.
i’ll ask mobile, see what he can do
scott looked up from where he was sulking.
he beamed at his friend, holding his hands in his own.
really?
thanks, wally. you’re the best
don’t call me wally
not unless you want mobile out to get ya
i—
scott sighed.
there was hesitation.
you and mobile. are you guys really tight?
what?
like. are you serious about your marriage?
scott, i’m living on the same roof as him. of course we’re serious about this
really? you’re not just, y’know. out for the money?
a tense pause filled the air.
scott didn't seem to realize he’d prodded the bear.
wallace wanted to lash out at him. kick him out of his house like ramona did.
but he just got out of a long relationship. the marriage didn’t last long, for whatever reason, but it was clearly affecting scott more than he let on.
wallace decided to be gentle. for now.
jesus, scott, what kind of person do you think i am?
sorry, sorry.
if you have something to tell me just spit it out.
i don’t though.
i don’t know why i said that. forget it. that was stupid.
you’re an amazing person, wallace. you’re not the kind of person who’d do that.
fuck you.
an unsettling silence settled between them, broken by the occasional clinking of glass as they moved to refill their drinks and gulp them down in a second to repeat the cycle. again and again.
until scott was drunk enough to say something stupid.
i think i’m in love with you, wallace
what?
i…
the day you got married, i was… sad. for a reason i couldn't explain at the time.
i was longing for something. and i wanted to have it so badly, but i knew it was out of my reach.
i feel like i could’ve gotten it if i’d tried sooner.
but it was too late.
i realized too late that you’re that something i was longing for — am longing for.
by the time i did, someone already had you.
mobile.
yeah.
is that why you asked me if we were serious?
…
yes.
scott…
yes?
he was looking at him expectantly. the same sparkle of hope in his eyes that wallace had always admired, when he was playing the bass or singing on stage. his determination of winning a measly video game. his bravery when facing off evil exes.
now, it was nothing to him. and it ate at him, how he felt nothing looking at scott. just sadness, and guilt.
i loved you.
i loved you so much i cried myself to sleep.
i loved you so much it hurt.
it was painful to live with you, loving you while unable to express that ‘cause i knew you’d never feel the same.
you were just out of reach.
it took me so long to accept that i’d never have you. when i met mobile, i was finally happy that you met ramona and came to love her.
i was finally happy for you, and for myself. we both had someone we could rely on, to be the pillar holding our shitty lives together.
someone loved me back. i can never let go of that feeling, even if it means i have a chance with you.
wallace wiped away the silent tears that fell from his eyes.
all the walls he built to protect himself from scott had finally broken down, in front of the devil himself.
it was humiliating.
but at the same time, it felt good.
it felt so good to tell him all the things he’s wanted to tell him all these years.
it felt good to admit that he didn’t need him anymore.
but…
i’m sorry, scott.
he still loved him.
not the way he did before, but. how could he not love him?
you’ll always be my first love.
it’s just that. i’m not yours anymore.
scott cried.
i know