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The first thing Obi-Wan felt after Vader struck him down was a sense of disorientation. There was too much sensory input coming at him at once and no idea how to shield. This wasn't like mental shielding to protect from the myriad emotions from Force-blinds. He saw more, heard more, and yet everything was somewhat distant, even though he had much more range than he ever had in his physical body. He could sense clearly, but he no longer felt he was in the thick of things. He felt a presence beside him and smiled. He didn't have to look to know who it was. He stared at Luke until his focus narrowed to him and his surroundings, and then he noticed that Vader had seen him. Obi-Wan winced and called urgently to Luke to run. He was relieved when Luke finally left off his vendetta against the Stormtroopers and escaped with the others, the Death Star plans still in their possession and the mission nearly complete.
"Was Luke trying to avenge me? Doesn't he realize I didn't sacrifice my life just for him to be captured?"
"Yes, well, I'd say he was functioning purely on rage. But look at it this way. At least, Luke obeyed you. Anakin didn't obey anyone."
"Luke doesn't always obey me, but I'll grant that he does listen more than Anakin ever did." Obi-Wan sighed wearily and his expression turned sorrowful. "But you know, Master, I think I understand you a lot better now. Why you got so angry when I disobeyed, and the compulsion in combat to do anything to ensure that I'd live. I'm sorry I ever thought you didn't love me."
Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan in his arms and held him against his chest in a firm, warm embrace. Obi-Wan lay his cheek against his Master's shoulder and was still, savoring the contact he'd gone without for so long. Obi-Wan touched their bond, unable to express in words just how much he'd missed that closeness, needed it, loved it. Qui-Gon caressed his apprentice's cheek tenderly and gently released him, patting his shoulder and smiling kindly. "You did all I asked, became everything I expected, honored me with every noble deed, whether you intended to or not. You were my vindication, my salvation, and no one could ask for a better legacy."
"Master," Obi-Wan whispered, eyes glistening.
Qui-Gon chuckled softly. "Look sharp; we have company."
Obi-Wan blinked, but felt a familiar, and this time unwelcome, presence approaching.
"Well, isn't that touching," Owen Lars said gruffly. "There are people who love you."
Obi-Wan stared at Owen. "This is surprising?" he queried, his tone challenging.
Owen shook his head. "Not exactly. Confusing is more like it. It's not like you raised Luke."
Obi-Wan felt a stab of pain but did his best to ignore it. "Look, it's as I said. The Empire was hunting me. I couldn't raise him. He wasn't safe with me."
Owen snorted. "Neither was Anakin, apparently. I don't get why he and Luke insisted on following you. It will go badly for Luke, just as it did for Anakin."
Obi-Wan sighed heavily, but looked steadily at Owen. "You're right. I failed Anakin. He went after me for the same reason you tried to discourage Luke from joining the Rebellion. He was concerned for my safety. As for Luke, he didn't insist on following me. He actually would have stayed home had you been alive at the time."
Owen looked surprised. "Luke was gone the day Beru and I were killed. The droids were gone, too. I remember him seeing our remains and then returning to you. I didn't know where he was before that."
"Chasing R2, who was looking for me. But again, he joined the Rebellion because there was nothing to hold him to Tatooine. He hated the place, just as Anakin had. They didn't leave for me. They probably would have found a way off planet at some point with or without me."
"Look at Luke," Owen commanded.
Obi-Wan glanced away to his right, obeying the order, and his expression was solemn. Luke was slumped over, head down, in clear pain. Leia was trying to comfort him. Obi-Wan sensed grief and rage in Leia.
"Both of them feel your loss," Owen continued.
Obi-Wan turned back to Owen. "I'd say Leia feels the loss of Alderaan. But yes, perhaps there's some regret on my account there."
"Luke didn't seem as upset when Beru and I were killed." Owen sounded envious.
"I wasn't aware this was a competition. But it tends to go better for the person that is on the outside. Luke probably only saw kindness from me, with the occasional sarcastic comment. I didn't have to keep him in line so much. You had the harder job. But you had his loyalty and you clearly taught him the value of discipline and duty and trained him well in the use of blasters."
"Loyalty? I loved Luke. He didn't appreciate it; always complained to me. Once, in a fit of temper, he said he wished you had raised him."
Obi-Wan winced before he could stop himself and stepped instinctively closer to Qui-Gon, turning his head to look up at him in horror and grief. Looking back at Owen, he murmured, "I...I didn't know. I'm sorry." He maintained his position by his Master.
"I don't need your pity, Jedi," Owen growled, spitting the name as though it were an insult.
Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed angrily. "I'll thank you not to speak to Obi-Wan that way. He loves Luke as much as you do. I would have thought this would unite you, not drive you apart."
"You stay out of it," Owen snarled.
Obi-Wan's eyes widened in shock. "How dare you-"
"That's enough," said a quiet, yet firm voice. The speaker moved to stand by Owen. "Owen, I thought you were raised better than this. You don't even know Qui-Gon and can speak to him like that merely because he's a Jedi? Qui-Gon freed Ani, gave him a chance for a better future, a chance to be everything he could be. And Obi-Wan - he made Ani great. Luke is turning out well, too, thanks to him, you, and Beru. You should be proud of Luke. He's chosen to be a part of the solution. Not many have such courage." She nodded to Obi-Wan and smiled gently. "It's because of people like the Jedi that the rest of us without the inclination or strength to fight can live our lives in relative safety. The Empire isn't the Jedi's fault. It's the fault of the same person who corrupted Ani.
"Obi-Wan, you didn't fail Anakin. The last time I saw him when I was alive, he'd grown to be a strong man with a great capacity to be protective and loving. If he forsook your teaching, it was his own choice not to follow good advice. He forgot all of us; even me.
"Luke - I have faith in him and I know you do, too. Owen is right. Luke loves and respects you, much like you feel for Qui-Gon. It's because of this that I know Luke and the Rebellion will somehow succeed; you've trained him well, just like with Ani, but Luke will strive to make you proud. If he falls, he'll fall a Jedi.
"I tried to teach Ani what love is, but he never understood that people were not meant to be controlled. Obi-Wan, I'm sorry for what Ani did to the Jedi and to the galaxy. We must hope that Luke can make Ani remember what love is. And Qui-Gon, you raised a wonderful son. Thank you both for loving Ani. I know you two still do."
"Shmi Skywalker?" Obi-Wan queried, somewhat overwhelmed. "What you said...That's very kind. But...I'm afraid I don't love Anakin."
"No," Shmi murmured. "You don't love Vader. If you didn't love Ani, you couldn't love Luke."
She turned to Owen. "Owen, you and Beru gave Luke a normal life. You didn't spoil him as I spoiled Ani. Luke didn't grow up thinking people owed him anything. Luke learned that things have to be earned. You taught Luke what to expect from life. You prepared him for life as an adult. Beru and Obi-Wan helped Luke to manage his emotions. He got everything he needed from you three. And now Luke has friends to help him deal with losing you three. Don't begrudge Obi-Wan Luke's affection. Obi-Wan's right. Love is not a competition."
Owen looked at the ground guiltily. Then he looked at Obi-Wan. "You know, I hadn't considered things from mom's perspective. The Empire killed Beru and I coolly and efficiently, as though we were banthas. If Luke had been home and not with you, he'd be dead now. Trying to stay out of the conflict turned out not to guarantee safety. But Luke can't fight."
"I don't know," Obi-Wan replied, "he was hitting those Stormtroopers. You're right that he needs more combat training, but I think that can be arranged. I'm not too worried." Indeed, Obi-Wan sounded positively casual.
Owen looked at Obi-Wan suspiciously. "What are you hiding?"
Obi-Wan shook his head. "You'll see eventually. Not time yet, though. There's still the problem of the Death Star."
Qui-Gon chuckled. "Obi-Wan's military instincts kicking in."
Obi-Wan grinned at him. "Can't help it. I'm definitely watching when they have the briefing on their findings. I'm curious. Shame I can't advise strategies now."
"But you can help Luke."
"True."
Owen spoke up. "I should be getting back to Beru. Since Luke is already committed to the Alliance and there's nothing I can do now, it's all on you, Kenobi. You'd better make sure he doesn't do anything reckless."
Obi-Wan lifted a hand in a salute. "I'll do my best, but you know those Skywalkers. Notoriously difficult to control."
Owen gave a tiny smile and a curt nod before disappearing. Shmi waved to the Jedi as she left with him.
"Master?"
"Hmmm?"
"Shmi knows I maimed her son, doesn't she?"
"Mmm." Qui-Gon nodded.
"So she couldn't possibly have meant me, right? Regarding...your son?"
Qui-Gon's eyebrows arched. "And who else could she possibly mean, my young apprentice?" He smirked.
"I...um..." Obi-Wan looked away, embarrassed. "Master, if somebody maimed you, I would not be calling them 'wonderful.'"
"She does not blame you."
"I should go apologize."
"As you will," Qui-Gon said neutrally.
Obi-Wan touched Qui-Gon's arm in farewell and then found himself in Padme's apartment, in front of the Senator and Shmi. He blinked in surprise. "I still have to get used to this. My apologies. I'll just-"
"No, no, no." Padme shook her head vigorously. "You're welcome here. Obi-Wan, I'm so sorry. I can't believe he killed you."
"I can," Obi-Wan muttered, not quite under his breath. "That is...Sorry." He flushed and ducked his head.
Padme and Shmi didn't laugh. Shmi spoke up. "I saw the combat after Ani tried to strangle Padme. I don't blame you for believing he could kill you."
Obi-Wan flinched. "Right. About that." He looked up and met Shmi's eyes. "I'm very sorry, Ms. Skywalker. I don't know what happened. I don't recall actually intending to maim Anakin. I acted on instinct, as a warrior must."
"I know. But you also couldn't kill him."
Padme gasped. "You did that to him? I wondered how he'd lost-"
Shmi stopped Padme with a hand on her arm. "But Ani's alive now. And Obi-Wan's here. There's no real point being angry with Obi-Wan in light of that, considering he saved Luke and Leia."
Padme nodded. "Obi-Wan, you did do well with Luke. I couldn't have hoped for a better person to look after him. I'm not upset. I hope Luke makes a better Jedi than Ani did."
"He will." Obi-Wan nodded firmly. "Anakin didn't have a real understanding of the Jedi. I think he assumed we were invincible heroes that went on grand adventures. He didn't know that usually, it was dull diplomacy and strict formality. Thanks to you, Luke has the dedication to service and the idealistic spirit the Jedi will need should he rebuild the Order."
Padme's smile reached her eyes. "You do know how to flatter a mother, don't you? I hope for the best for the Jedi. They produced people like you and Qui-Gon. And I'm happy Leia ended up with the Organas. I did like them and she had all the luxuries I did."
"I presume you told them this?"
"Yes. Are you sending Luke to Master Yoda?"
"That's right. Don't tell Owen, though."
Padme giggled. "I wouldn't dream of it."
Obi-Wan looked from Shmi to Padme sadly. "I don't know where it went wrong with Anakin. I left for Utapau and then when I came back...It was like day and night."
Shmi spoke up. "Luke is fortunate he had you to talk to. Anakin trusted the wrong person. You taught them both to know right from wrong. Because of you, Obi-Wan, Ani still knows remorse. I think it's the only thing keeping him from being consumed completely."
Padme spoke to Shmi, but the words were directed at both her and Obi-Wan. "He tortured Leia and interrogated her cruelly, forcing her to watch Alderaan explode. Then he killed Obi-Wan. Maybe I was wrong about him." Padme bowed her head in shame.
Obi-Wan stroked his beard, pondering. "Luke doesn't have a history with Anakin - not in the way we do. Anakin doesn't have the idea that he betrayed or abandoned him. It's a clean slate at the moment and I don't know what will happen, but neither of them have preconceived ideas about each other. It's a slim hope, but I hang onto it."
Padme looked up. "At least, I can be proud that both my children had the sense to join the Rebellion."
"Indeed." Obi-Wan looked pensive before glancing at Shmi. "Ms. Skywalker, I'm very sorry the Jedi didn't turn out well for Anakin."
"Please, call me Shmi. And no apology necessary. I'm still grateful to you and Qui-Gon for doing your best with him."
"But it wasn't good enough."
Shmi shook her head. "It's always good enough. My feeling is that if you hadn't given it your all, that wouldn't have been good enough. I once told your Master he did a good job with you. He said the way you turned out had nothing to do with him. He said all he could do was to train you as best he could, mistakes and all. I don't believe he had nothing to do with who you became. You're much like him and Luke is much like you. Qui-Gon and I watched you and Ani through your lives. You've both had it so hard. But Luke can accept the things he can't control, just as you could, and I truly believe that will count for something."
Obi-Wan inclined his head to Shmi. "I can see where Anakin got his intelligence and determination. I'm grateful you don't blame me for Anakin's fall. I can honestly say I did do the best I could. But I was young and inexperienced, both in life and as a Knight. But if I hadn't trained Anakin, I probably would have been less understanding and patient with Luke, so this must have been meant to be."
"We'll watch what unfolds together, eh?" said Shmi kindly.
Obi-Wan bowed to Shmi and waved to Padme. "I'm sorry, but Master's calling. I intend to meddle, not just watch. May the Force be with you."
"And with you," the women said simultaneously.