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Strict rules governed demonic behavior. And despite Crowley’s long habit of ignoring rules, some stuck harder than others. Being repeatedly threatened with eternal torture had left marks.
Even after gaining his freedom, Crowley struggled. Softness, niceness, kindness. All of those things set off danger bells and long-established defense mechanisms. Some things, he couldn’t risk.
Love, for one. Feeling it, that was something he could get away with. Talking about it, saying it?
Well. That was “eternal torture” territory.
But there were ways around rules, and ways to say “I love you” that didn’t make him break into a cold sweat.
---
“I picked up your favorite sweets,” Crowley said, setting the box on the table. “Local shop was out, so I took a longer drive.”
“Oh!” Aziraphale looked up from his cooking, one hand still sprinkling salt across a roast, and beamed at him. “Thank you, my dear. You didn’t have to do that, although I do appreciate it.”
“No problem.” Crowley kissed Aziraphale on the cheek, then opened the boxed sweets and carefully arranged them on Aziraphale’s favorite plate. “Nice day for a drive.”
But he hasn’t done it for a nice drive. He did it because he loved Aziraphale.
---
“Hi, angel.” Crowley leaned against the door frame, gazing with fondness at Aziraphale’s intense frown of concentration. “What’re you reading? Anything fun?”
“Hmm?” Aziraphale looked up, still frowning. But an immediate smile warmed his face when he saw Crowley. “Oh, hello! Afraid I’m not reading anything you’d be interested in.”
Determined, Crowley flopped on the sofa. “Try me. If you’re interested, I’m interested.”
Aziraphale’s eyes lit up, and he launched into a complicated explanation of language and translations that Crowley didn’t understand even a little bit. But that was okay. Talking about it made Aziraphale happy, and he loved Aziraphale.
---
“I’m gonna go for a walk, maybe feed the ducks,” Crowley said, slipping his sunglasses on. “You wanna come with me?”
“Oooh, yes.” Aziraphale took his hand, beaming at him. “You’ve been doting on me an awful lot lately. Perhaps I could return the favor later?”
That was hard for Crowley to accept. A demon, deserve affection in return? Unthinkable.
But he took a deep breath, calming the anxiety, and then nodded. “I could use a neck rub. And maybe we could watch Golden Girls.”
Aziraphale agreed happily, and Crowley relaxed. Hard to believe sometimes, but Aziraphale loved him too.
---
“Are you comfy?” Aziraphale asked softly, stroking Crowley’s hair.
Crowley, lying on the sofa using Aziraphale as a pillow, smiled. “Mmmmm.”
Aziraphale smiled back, pleased. It had felt good to fuss over Crowley for an evening. “I love you.”
A widening smile, and then Crowley closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he said, “I thought I might plant more strawberries tomorrow. Know how much you enjoy those.”
“I do indeed.” Aziraphale bent, kissing his brow.
Crowley struggled to express his love in certain words, but Aziraphale never minded. “I love you” by any other name tasted just as sweet.