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It wasn’t the first time that Jay opened his door to find Mouse on his doorstep with that big grin that could only mean one thing: Mouse was stoned off his ass. Jay sighed, and opened the door wide enough to let his best friend stumble in. He had something in his hand and Jay swiped it from his grasp before he could drop it or lose it. It was his phone, a cracked, nearly useless thing that Jay had bought him for one purpose, keeping him in touch with Jay just in case. Whenever he went out, to find someone to fuck and get high with, Mouse kept that phone on him with the intention of being able to call Jay if things went sideways.
“What are you doing here?” Jay asked, and Mouse turned that grin over to him lazily. “Oh, wow, you’re so fucking high, huh?”
“I wanted to snuggle,” Mouse announced. “You always make it look so cozy.”
“Yeah, let’s get you inside,” Jay said, and he shut the door behind them, setting the phone down on the entryway table, and turning to user Mouse into the apartment further. Mouse dropped his jacket onto the floor immediately, and then kicked off the impractical Converse that had at least a hole in each sole. He left a trail of clothes from the front door into the bedroom, including his shirts and jeans, a sock in one location and the other by the foot of the bed. Jay locked up the front door, made sure that Mouse’s phone was plugged in to the charger by the door for him in the morning, and then followed. He half expected Mouse to be naked with the trail he’d followed, but he was laid out in the middle of Jay’s bed in his boxers, his head pillowed on his arm on top of the pillow, the blankets kicked to the bottom of the mattress. “What are you doing?”
“Snuggling.”
“Alone.”
“I’m not trying to snuggle alone, you’re the one making me snuggle alone, and the one making me say snuggle so many times,” Mouse said, voice slurring but warm with fondness. He smiled a little dopily, and looked at Jay. “You could come here.”
“Mouse,” Jay sighed.
“What?”
“We can’t do this,” he said. “Not now.”
“I’m not asking you for anything right now, I’m not asking you to do anything you’re not ready for, except to come lay down in bed and lay with me because I’m so high that I think I can taste time and I need my best friend to lay next to me and hold my hand so I don’t float away on something I can’t even understand.”
“Fine, but keep your hands to yourself,” Jay said, pulling off his hoodie and dropping it onto the dresser’s top. His room, and his apartment at large, was just small enough that from the dresser to the mattress edge is a single step, and then he dropped down into the mattress near Mouse’s feet.
“You’re so nice to me,” Mouse said with a sarcastic roll of his eyes. “Here I am, in mortal peril, and you’re withholding your body from me.”
“You’re having a bad trip, you’re not in mortal peril.”
“It’s not a bad trip,” Mouse said. “I’m actually having a good time. I just want to be close to you, and I didn’t realize that would be such a crime.”
“It’s not,” Jay said, crawling up to lay beside Mouse, pulling the pillow underneath his head and closing his eyes. Then, Mouse wiggled in closer to him and pressed himself into Jay’s chest with a satisfied huff. “What are you doing?”
“My hands are kept to myself,” Mouse replied.
“You’re incorrigible,” Jay muttered, but didn’t push Mouse away. He didn’t mind it, really, not the way Mouse did. He liked having Mouse close, especially where he could see him and make sure he was okay. After everything they’d been through, it was so goddamn nice to see him there, whole and at least a little happy. It was hard to be sunshine and rainbows after surviving literal hell, but it made it easier to see Mouse nearby. Maybe that was codependent and they should have friends outside of just themselves, but Jay couldn’t force himself to let Mouse go yet.
“Wow, you’re so clingy, I love it,” Mouse muttered, that same sarcastic tone stinging and Jay groaned. “Seriously, I’m not going to jump into your briefs just because you hugged me.”
“No, but the last time I hugged you too long, you bit me.”
“I didn’t bite you. I gave you a warning nip.”
“Sure felt like you bit me,” Jay replied, even as he wrapped his arms around Mouse who sighed sweetly into Jay’s neck. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, definitely, don’t let go yet.”
“Are you okay?” Jay asked.
“It’s - it’s a bad trip,” Mouse muttered finally, voice small and he tucked his face into Jay’s chest, his own arms coming to slip around Jay’s waist, holding him close in return. “Nothing makes sense, but you and this bed, and – please don’t make me leave.”
“I’m not going to make you leave, you’re safe here.”
He meant it, more than anything, and he hoped that Mouse knew that. He hoped that no matter what, Mouse would always feel safe coming to him in the middle of the night, high as a kite, on a bad trip where the world didn’t feel welcoming; he hoped that Mouse found a place to feel at peace in his home, in his bed, in his arms, wherever he was. He pressed a soft kiss into Mouse’s hair, and let the moment wrap them up, safety and security, just for them.