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Diluc had been feeling odd recently.
And now, he'd started having these bouts of helplessness. He'd sit at his desk and stare at his work for hours, growing increasingly more upset until he eventually worked himself into tears, which usually resulted in him pulling his hair, stomping his foot and whining– Generally acting in a, quite frankly, mortifying manner.
He wasn't a child. There was absolutely no excuse for his behavior. His only relief was knowing this was a secret he'd be taking to the grave.
Being sick though… had aggravated the problem. He just felt so awful all the time. His nose was always runny and he couldn't stop sneezing, it was like his spring allergies dialed up to 1000. He felt like he was going mad.
It was after one particularly awful sneeze attack that the first.. tantrum happened. Tears started falling and he rocked in his chair, aggressively slamming his fists over his thighs and whining at the absolute unfairness of it all. He didn't know what to do! He took his medicine! He drank his water! He didn't want to have to solve this himself. He was tired . Tired of taking care of himself. How he wished someone else would come and take over, lead him to his bed and tuck him in so he had nothing to worry about.
…The mortification set in quickly once the emotional high had passed. Diluc had just.. cried. Like a baby. And it wasn't the first time but.. the thoughts running through his head were certainly new. Take care of him? He was a grown man. He didn't need anyone taking care of him.
His hiccupping gasps shook his body late into the night, his only company in the dark.
Lo and behold, that was far from the last time this would happen. The next day, he had a breakdown over the way his arms ached while he tried to tie his hair. The day after that, he cried because the leftovers he'd been looking forward to had gone bad. And it was all fine and well (it wasn't) when it happened inside his home, where it would never, ever reach the outside world.. But then it didn't. He was sick and– as much as he hated it– fussy and it was bound to happen, but nothing could've prepared him for the events of that day.
He'd taken up a shift at The Angel's Share, seeing as Charles had been manning the bar for a week or two now, and Diluc was finally free of paperwork for the next few days, he thought it was only fair for him to give the man a break. He did his best to prepare himself for a night of discomfort, picking soft clothes without itchy thread and a hairstyle that didn't irritate him so he'd have the best chances possible of lasting through it without an embarrassing breakdown. The last thing he needed was to start crying like a child behind the counter. With a deep breath and a set of his shoulders he was leaving for his shift.
-
Kaeya was a little concerned. It wasn't really like Diluc, the disappearing act he'd been pulling. Kaeya hadn't seen a hair on his head in about two weeks, and he was finally starting to border on worrying for him. Usually, if Diluc would be away for extended periods, he'd know , because that's the kind of information they told each other whenever they exchanged intel, but Diluc had said nothing, so he knew this leave was probably unplanned. Maybe he got sick? It was a little hard to imagine, because with how bull-headed Diluc was, almost any illness would go ignored for the sake of duty. Something worse than that? Cold lurched in his stomach whenever he had such thoughts.
He hadn't even been visiting the tavern. There was no real reason to linger there, if Diluc wasn't around. Tonight would have been another night of going home to nurse his woes with a bottle of wine, but he'd caught wind of something curious.
"Oh yeah, didja hear?"
"Looks like Master Diluc's back in town."
Huh. Good to know.
"I heard he was wearing different clothes, all the ladies were lingering around the bar–"
..Maybe he'd go check.
He was surprised when he stepped into the bar and Diluc was actually behind the counter, and even more so when he took notice of the man's clothes. Usually, the gossip around town was good as worthless when it came to Diluc, but it seems they were right for once.
"A special occasion, Master Diluc?" He questioned as he took his usual seat across from the man.
Diluc blinked at him, the genuine confusion of his face mildly endearing, reminiscent of the expressions he'd make as a young boy. "What do you mean?"
"Your garments have gathered quite a bit of attention. You're the talk of the town.. and of the ladies as well, it seems." His eyes flickered over the crowds filling the building, registering all the women – and a few men, even – watching Diluc with appreciative eyes.
Diluc blinked at him. "Ah." His cheeks turned a little pink. "I didn't think it would cause this much of a ruckus. I was just aiming for comfort."
Kaeya rose a brow. "Comfort? Are you perhaps injured?"
"Injured? Oh, no, it's just.." Diluc averted his gaze, suddenly looking shy . "Uhm. Don't worry about it." He placed Kaeya's drink in front of him and before the other could speak again he had walked away to tend to the other customers.
The more Kaeya watched him, the more obvious it became that something was wrong. Diluc was a little unstable – every now and then he'd have to subtly lean on the counter to keep himself upright – and he'd hold back sneezes and sniffle more and more as the night went on.
So he was sick, Kaeya thought, tracing the rim of his glass with one finger. That must've been what the clothes were for as well. Of course he'd insist on coming in. But then, what was that prolonged absence about? It felt excessive, considering this was Diluc.
Maybe this was how he was after a significant improvement in his condition? It just didn't make any sense.
While he was busy with his thoughts, Diluc had slipped away into the back with an excuse of grabbing a new bottle of something. He didn't pay much mind to it. But people came and went, hanging around the bar patiently, and Diluc didn't show for minutes – he wouldn't abandon his post like this. And, well, he was sick. How could he not worry?
When he opened the door to the storage room, the last thing he expected was to see Diluc, sitting on the floor, crying. He blinked a few times, unable to believe his eyes. Diluc? Crying? In his own bar?
He paused for a second. What should he even do? He shook his head and closed the door. Right. Just..
"Diluc?" He called, but the other didn't raise his head, continuing to cry without even sparing him a glance. Kaeya had a feeling he wasn't being ignored, though.
He dropped to a crouch beside the weeping man, reaching a gloved hand to his shaking shoulders. When he touched him, Diluc gasped, a choked, wet noise. He frowned softly as the redhead looked up to face him. The sight was just as heartbreaking as it was when they were kids, and Kaeya would scrape his knee and the older boy would start sobbing – even as Kaeya himself didn't shed a tear.
Watery red eyes studied him carefully.
".. What's the matter, Diluc?" He already felt all out of sorts – like he was walking on a tightrope, and what Diluc said next tipped him over, and suddenly he was tumbling down without anything to hold onto.
"Icky." Diluc sniffled.
Icky. What?
"What?" He voiced out loud as well, because his brain to mouth filter had completely failed him in his shock.
"It hurts , I don'.." Diluc trailed off, hiccupping as he scrubbed his eyes with balled fists.
Still, it almost felt impossible to comprehend what he was looking at. Diluc, crying on the floor. Diluc, complaining and fussing like a baby in front of him. Like a puzzle piece that wouldn't fit no matter which way he rotated it.
Diluc whined, and then suddenly he had an armful of red, tears soaking into the fur of his cape and scrambling hands finding purchase on his back.
Diluc was.. hugging him.
Kaeya was so stunned he had to pinch himself. Not a dream, surely enough.
Hesitant hands found their places: one on Diluc's back, one on his head, rubbing red hair with a gentle care he only really showed Klee. Something kind, soft and comforting. He didn't need to understand what was happening with Diluc to sink into his instincts.
"K– Kae–" Diluc tried to speak, but he couldn't get a full word out between his sobs.
"Shh.." He quieted, brushing his fingers through wild red locks. "Breathe, Diluc."
Diluc's hands shifted, and Kaeya froze for a second. No, it couldn't be..? But when he turned his head..
Diluc Ragnvindr, owner of the Dawn Winery, Uncrowned King of Mond, Dark Night-fucking-Hero, laying his head on Kaeya's shoulder and sucking his thumb. Unbelievable.
He huffed a laugh, the sight so absurd he could only find it humorous. A strange warmth burrowed in his chest, and he pushed it away to try and think of a plan of action. He should probably get Diluc out of here.. The bar was completely unmanned as well – not good, with how drunk people could be.
"Diluc," He whispered gently. "I have to empty the bar. Do you think you can handle a little bit alone?"
He pulled the redhead away from his neck, and the wet glare he received was truly pitiful. He almost felt tempted to stay, but it was for the best. "I'll be right back." Without thinking, he placed a kiss on Diluc's forehead. The glare faded away, replaced by a softer look. Cute , his mind supplied, and Kaeya chided himself for it. God, Diluc would kill him when he was back to normal.
After tucking the other underneath his cape, he finally walked back out into the bar, ready to send away the drunks.
After emptying the bar (with a little help from a certain bard) he returned to the storage room – but was startled by what he found.
Diluc was asleep, thumb still in his mouth and knees tucked up to his chest, hugging Kaeya's cape with his free hand.
So sweet . His heart soared.
Now that things were calm again, Kaeya was finally able to think – and consider Diluc's behavior. Childish, certainly. But it was something beyond that.. And he probably wouldn't be able to figure it out by himself. Oh well. Curiosity be damned, he wouldn't be letting anyone else see Diluc like this. Not so soon.
Leaning down, he took the other into his arms. Diluc looked deceptively small like this, but he still weighed as much as he expected. All that muscle was not light .
He carried him up the stairs, into the spare room he knew was in the tavern from all the times he and Diluc had patched each other up there when they were knights.
Laying the other down on the bed – thankfully not dusty – he took a seat on the only shaky chair the room had, right beside Diluc, and drifted off into his own nap.
-
He woke up around morning to more panicked sobbing. Within seconds he was properly awake, right at Diluc's side.
"Hey, hey, hey.." He mumbled, and Diluc looked up at him from the bed, tears running once again.
"What hurts? You can tell me, sweetheart." And.. that was new, but Diluc didn't seem to mind.
"Doesn't hurt." He spoke between gasps.
"What is it, then?" Kaeya leaned closer to him. "It's alright, baby, just breathe. You're okay."
Diluc shook his head, desperate. "Bad!"
Kaeya blinked. "Bad? What's bad?"
"M-Me! I was ba–" Diluc hiccuped. "–ad!"
He furrowed his brows.
"Why were you bad, Diluc?"
"Shouldn't– Shouldn't be like this.."
Like this . So this was a normal occurrence for Diluc. Something he wanted to keep private, obviously. And now Kaeya knew. Probably the last person in the world he'd want to trust with such a thing… Too late to change it, either way.
He brushed Diluc's hair back, pressing another kiss to his head.
"It's okay, it's okay. You're not bad, precious."
Diluc whimpered and buried his face in Kaeya's chest. "Sorry, 'm sorry.."
He rubbed Diluc's back, whispering soft assurances as he cried.
Poor thing . Kaeya wondered how he'd feel when he went back to normal. Probably enraged. Murderous, even. He should definitely ease up on the cuddles and pet names, but when Diluc was like this, basically a child needing comfort – how could he deny him any of it?
He climbed into bed beside Diluc, and before he could even make sense of it, the other was settled on his chest, sucking on his thumb again. It felt a bit unsanitary – but he wouldn't deny Diluc that bit of comfort either. It was a little too warm, probably due to Diluc’s vision, but Kaeya thankfully had his cryo to keep him from overheating. Speaking of overheating…
He planted the back of his hand against Diluc's forehead, and immediately winced softly at the temperature. It wasn't terrible, but the man definitely had a fever, and it most certainly wasn't helping with his emotional state.
“Hey, honey,” he started delicately, rubbing Diluc's cheek when he shifted to look up at him, “why don't we get you home so we can change out of those stuffy clothes and get you some medicine?”
Big red eyes stared at him, and Kaeya almost shrank back at their intensity, but the added detail of Diluc sucking his thumb destroyed any intimidating prowess he could've possessed.
“..Not the winery.” Diluc mumbled when he finally looked away, and Kaeya wasn't sure whether it was a request, an order, or just a statement.
“.. That's alright,” he offered, “how about we head to my place instead?”
Diluc nodded before hiding his face in Kaeya’s shoulder, and he had to admit it was a stupidly endearing sight. He ruffled Diluc's hair before speaking again.
“Let's head out then, yeah?”
-
They sneaked out through the back door of the tavern, sticking to the shadowed alleyways of the city and keeping their faces covered with cloaks. They probably would've looked more suspicious if Diluc hadn't insisted on holding Kaeya's hand the whole way there.
As soon as they crossed the doorway, Kaeya moved to walk further in, but Diluc’s grasp held him back. He turned to question it, but the man was fiddling with the clips of his cloak, clearly so focused it hadn't even been done intentionally.
He huffed, amused and affectionate, and then moved to help him.
It didn't take long for Kaeya to finish stripping the man down, leaving him in a dress shirt, pants and socks. He seemed a little unsure of himself, opting to stand by Kaeya while he removed his own boots and coat, shifting on his feet nervously.
“Alright,” Kaeya ruffled his hair again, “all better now, hm?”
Diluc nodded uncertainly, and Kaeya offered him his best reassuring smile.
“Why don't you settle down in bed while I fix you something to eat?” He phrased it like a suggestion, but he knew it was for the best considering the way Diluc's knees seemed to want to buckle beneath him. He nodded, again, but didn't move, so Kaeya took it upon himself to gently nudge the other into moving with a careful hand on his back.
Once Diluc was tucked into bed – and changed into pajamas, Kaeya’s courtesy – he finally moved to inspect his kitchen. There wasn't much.. Kaeya was no cook, and he definitely didn't usually eat at home, but he found out he had just enough to put together a nice bowl of porridge. As soon as he finished, he topped the whole thing off with honey and fruit slices – Diluc more than deserved something nice, after all – and he moved to the bedroom.
The redhead was shivering beneath the sheets, his eyes squeezed shut and his brows furrowed gently, but from the way his chest was rising Kaeya knew he wasn't asleep.
“Hey there, buddy,” he started gently, setting the bowl beside the bed before taking a seat on it's edge, just beside the other.
Diluc's eyes fluttered open, but they took a second to meet Kaeya's, and when they did, he looked nearly delirious, red eyes glazed and nearly swallowed by his dilated pupils.
“I brought you some porridge. Think you can handle eating?”
Diluc whined, but he started the effort to sit up nonetheless, and Kaeya quickly moved to help him. Once he was settled against the headboard, Kaeya offered him the bowl, but he hesitated before shaking his head.
“No? You don't want to eat?” Diluc whimpered, shaking his head again, and Kaeya couldn't help but feel at a loss.
“You..” He looked down at the porridge, and then finally the pieces clicked inside his head.
“You want help?” He tilted his head, and when Diluc nodded ever so imperceptibly, mouthing a sweet ‘please’, Kaeya knew he was done for.
“Alright.” He dug the spoon into the porridge, and just as he would watch Jean feed Barbara when they were younger, he moved the spoon to Diluc's mouth, watching as the other savored the meal ever so slowly.
They continued like this for a while: Kaeya feeding Diluc, desperately trying to ignore all the emotions bubbling inside him – Diluc passively enjoying the porridge.
Eventually though, Kaeya moved to offer him another spoonful, but he looked away, shaking his head. The bowl was retired back to it's spot on the nightstand, and Kaeya moved to brush away the sweaty bangs that were stuck on the other's face.
“You're full?” Diluc nodded, leaning into the touch, and Kaeya took this moment to make use of his cryo vision, settling a cool hand over his cheek.
“That's alright. Why don't you just rest now?”
Diluc hummed softly, and with a little help it didn't take long to have him settled back down, curled into Kaeya's bed beneath his heaviest sheets. Kaeya moved to get up, discard the leftovers, wash the dishes – but a warm, trembling hand closed around his own, and he couldn't move.
“Yes, dear?”
“Stay?” Diluc's voice was small, and ever so slightly raspy, most likely from crying, but it was his. And it had been so long since Kaeya had last heard those words from him, how could he say no to him?
“Of course.”
Kaeya settled into bed beside him, and it didn't take long for them to be entangled again. Diluc settled happily into his chest, hands curling weakly around his shoulders, and Kaeya allowed himself the luxury of running his fingers through red hair. Whatever happened tomorrow, Kaeya figured, wouldn't really matter. What mattered was now, Diluc curled into him, smiling softly, happier than he had looked in years. What mattered was that he had caused it. That was enough for him.
“My baby,” he whispered soothingly, and found himself thinking he didn't really mind how much it meant to him.