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Grian wasn’t having a good day.
It all started with a loud ringtone waking him up in the early morning hours, 11 a.m. It took his exhausted brain a while to grasp that it was his phone ringing, sluggish arms reaching over and barely even checking the ID before picking up, “...hello?”
A familiar laugh crackled through the speaker, “Don’t tell me you just woke up.”
“Pearl, what do you want?”
“Alright, alright, jeez,” His sister huffed before asking, “I was just wondering if you figured out who you’re bringing?”
“...my plus one?”
“Yes? Your plus one for Jimmy’s wedding?”
A long silence dragged on before Pearl sighed.
“Don’t tell me you forgot-”
“I didn’t forget!”
He had completely forgotten about his brother’s wedding. It hadn’t even crossed his mind since he sent off his RSVP. Trying to be quiet, he dashed over to his calendar to see the wedding written down only a few weeks away. Tim and Tango with a heart. How did he miss that? Guess it didn’t help that around the date there were a bunch of deadlines for architect projects.
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” It was like he could hear the eye-roll, “Are you going to bring your boyfriend?”
“Boyfriend?”
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about him too,” Pearl said with a chuckle, “The guy you’ve been telling mom and dad about? Ring any bells?”
Oh, right. The imaginary person he made up so that his parents would stop asking him if he was seeing anybody. Though he did regret that choice as now they just keep asking to meet this ‘boyfriend’...
His mushy brain blurted out, “I haven’t- I’m bringing him, okay?”
“Oh!” Pearl sounded shocked, “Really? That’s great, I can’t wait to meet him, I’ll tell Jimmy then. Talk to you later!”
Grian blinked as he heard the call end. He… didn’t think that one through, did he? He could try and call her and tell her that he was single but it didn’t take long for the future mockery to be heard. This was fine, he could just ask Mumbo to go with him or lie and say he couldn’t make it! Frantically, he dialled his moustache friend.
“Grian! How's it going?” Wherever Mumbo was windy and loud, he could barely hear what he was saying.
“Mumbo, I need help. I may have accidentally agreed to take my boyfriend to Timmy’s wedding.”
“You have a boyfriend?” He swore he could hear disappointment like he could imagine a pouted lip on the man’s face.
“No, that’s the problem, I need you to be my pretend boyfriend for a weekend, like in a few weeks?”
“Ah! Sorry mate, I can’t! I'm cycling the entire month, remember?”
Now this was getting ridiculous. What else could he forget? Mumbo had spent so long talking about it that he was honestly impressed at his brain for managing to not soak up even an ounce of information.
Just as he opened up his mouth to say something, Grian heard his roommate yelling from the other room.
He didn’t know his roommate very well. He told Mumbo he needed a roommate, and then he told Doc, who told his partner, Ren, who then told Cub, and it just so happened that his best friend needed a place to stay as his old home was being ‘looked into’, whatever that meant. A few weeks later, he had a six-foot man walking around his already cramped apartment.
Scar was… a nice person. At least he seemed kind enough and knew not to get in his way too much. They kept to their own space and Grian could appreciate that. Though this meant the brunet was a complete mystery to him, especially with his talent to be the most clumsy man alive.
On cue, Grian walked out of his room to see Scar frantically dashing around the kitchen with a pot on the hob, flames blazing high. The architect ran over to pick up a lid and place it over the fire, putting it out. Scar sheepishly grinned, rubbing his arm awkwardly, “Sorry. I guess I had the water too high.”
“That was water?!”
Before he could interrogate the man, Mumbo piped up from his phone, “Hello Scar!”
“Hi, Mumbo!” Scar brightly spoke, the shine returning to his emerald eyes, “How are you doing? How’s cycling?”
Grian quickly butted in, “Talk to him on your own time, I’ve got a crisis going on.”
“Oh! Why don’t you take Scar?” Mumbo said cheerfully.
“That sounds good…! Take me where exactly?”
The dirty blonde pursed his lips, “Ah, I don’t know about that. I’m going to my brother’s wedding, it’ll be a long trip with it being out of state and everything.… Do you even own a suit?”
Scar puffed out his cheeks, “Y-Yeah! I do! Do you?”
He had… a great point there. He couldn’t even begin to recall where his groomsman suit was…
“I’ll talk to you later Mumbo,” Grian muttered before hanging up. He couldn’t believe he was doing this but with everything being such short notice there was no way he could get anybody else. Besides, he was desperate…. “The wedding is in a few weeks, it’s just for a weekend. I need a fake date so my parents don’t keep asking me, you don’t have to do much, just stand around and look pretty and eat the free food. Can you do that?”
Scar spluttered with a bashful grin, “I mean-... Yeah? I think so. As long as you’re the one paying for gas.”
“Deal.”
Grian extended his hand and Scar quickly shook it with a smug smile. What was he getting himself into…?
-
They seemed to be driving for days.
Realistically it had only been a few hours but the fact that they had barely said anything the entire time they drove up to the venue made it worse. The only noise was the quiet crackling of the radio and the occasional throat clearing. Grian hated this, why did Mumbo have to suggest this? Spending a weekend with practically a stranger wasn’t his idea of a fun time but if he was truthful, going to a wedding at all didn’t sound pleasant, with its loud noise and distant relatives trying to strike up a conversation.
“Man, I can’t remember the last time I went to a wedding,” Scar mumbled, rubbing the nape of his neck nervously. Great, small talk…
“You’ll be fine, you don’t even have to talk to anybody, I don’t care if you look like the worst boyfriend ever and are you’re on your phone all the time,” He kept his eyes forward on the road even though they were stuck in traffic, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“I couldn’t do that!” His roommate blurted out, “They're gonna be feeding me so the least I can do is talk a bit.”
“Honestly, I’d prefer it if you didn’t…” Grian mumbled under his breath.
“Oh. Right.”
Scar drummed his fingers against the dashboard, humming along to the music as they barely moved an inch on the road. It didn’t seem to bother the brunet, barely whispering the wrong words to a song he didn’t know before blurting out, “So, when was the last time you went to a wedding?”
Grian gripped the wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. Now that there wasn’t anything to look out of the window, it seemed that Scar was a passenger talker… Trying to not sound like he was close to kicking the man out, the architect muttered, “I don’t know… probably my parents when I was a kid?”
“Aww! I can imagine you in a little suit, I bet you looked adorable,” Scar said with a bright grin and a wink. Was he… trying to flirt or be nice? Either way, Grian didn’t like it and just huffed.
Before long, they made it to the state border, entering a more rural area. Grian fiddled with his phone and called Pearl, placing it on the dashboard. It only rang a few times before his sister picked up, “Hello?”
“I’m coming up to the town, where am I supposed to be going?”
“Ah! Well, Tim has gotten you a hotel to stay at, I’ll send you the address, reservations should be under his name.”
“Alright, thanks, Pearl.”
“Thanks, Pearl!” Scar echoed with a smile.
A mess of spluttering, stuttering, and shock came through the speakers, “Who is that?!”
“Uh… My plus-one?”
“You’re telling me that you actually have a boyfriend? I thought you were just lying-”
“Okay, alright, sorry, I think we’re breaking up, going into a tunnel, see you later!” Despite his sister’s protests, Grian hung up the phone with an extended sigh, “Scar, please give me the directions, use my phone.”
The man picked up the phone and got to work, quietly mumbling, “She seems nice…”
“That’s Pearl, my sister. You’ll probably have to deal with her a lot during this weekend, and my brother… He’s the one getting married, Jimmy,” He rambled on, already being able to imagine the many questions they would have to endure these next few days.
“I can’t wait to meet them,” The way Scar said it, it seemed… genuine.
Grian tuned that out as he used all his focus on getting to the hotel, there was nothing he wanted to do more than to lay down after hours and hours in a hot cramped car. He parked messily in the parking lot before the two made their way into the hotel with their suitcases. He grumbled out with exhaustion weighing down on his shoulders as he asked for their room and got given the key.
They silently got into the elevator, not saying anything until they got into the room. Without much thought, Grian fell into the bed face first, letting his body sink in. He could hear Scar look around but he didn’t care, he could sleep like this, even in his jeans-
“Uh, Grian?”
He grumbled into the cover, “What?”
“There’s only one bed.”
Grian instantly sat up, looking around the room and seeing that, yes, there was only one double bed in the hotel room. The architect grabbed the nearest pillow and screamed into it. Dammit, Timmy!
His brain instantly started to rack on how possibly he could fix this mess of a situation but before he could come up with something in his sleep-deprived brain, Scar flopped onto the bed next to him, “You alright with us sleeping together?”
Grian groaned, choosing to ignore the terrible phrasing of words, “I guess…”
The truth was that he didn’t have the energy to care, and if they put up a pillow barrier there shouldn’t be any problems. Lazily, he stood up, beginning the task of rummaging through his disorganised suitcase to try and find something to sleep in. Scar did the same, talking as he did, “I gotta ask, what are you alright with us doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, when I’m being your cool pretend boyfriend, what are you comfortable doing? Is kissing on the table?”
The question instantly stops him in his tracks. It leaves him feeling flushed and embarrassed, why would he ask something like that? His brain suddenly thinks about how gross that would be, to kiss Scar. With his stubble scratching his chin, his smug expression, his lips being cracked but somehow soft to the touch, warm hands around him-
Grian nearly slaps himself, “Ew, no, no! That is more than off the table, it’s not part of the discussion full stop.”
“Okay, okay, that’s fine,” Scar waved his hands around defensively, “I wasn’t asking if you wanted to, I was just wondering what you’re okay with, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable even if we’re trying to sell this boyfriend thing to your family. If you want, we don't have to touch at all, whatever you want.”
Grian opened his mouth and closed it again. He wasn’t used to this, this whole conversation about emotions and boundaries wasn’t something he knew how to deal with. He didn’t know what was the right thing to say, what to do, or how he should be feeling, so he barely whispered, “Thanks…”
When he went into the bathroom to get changed into some pyjamas and get ready for bed, Grian’s mind was racing. He’s never had to deal with a conversation like that, which might say a lot about his past partners but that was a train of thought for another time. It took until he unlocked the door and saw his roommate sitting on the bed to have an answer.
“Touch is fine.”
Scar hummed like a question so Grian repeated himself.
“I… I think I’m okay with touch, hand holding, hugs, that sort of thing just- kissing is- No kissing, at all,” He wrung his hands as he talked, unable to keep his eyes in one place, why was it so awkward to talk about this?
“Okay, cool!” The brunet said with a massive grin before grabbing his phone and going to the bathroom to get changed.
Grian walked over to the bed, nearly passing out as he closed his eyes. He was beyond tired, his limbs were heavy and his head was full. Tomorrow was the rehearsal dinner, he could only dread how that was going to go…
Scar soon came to bed, turning off the big light and tucking himself in. The bed was already so warm and the way it sunk under Scar’s weight was distracting. The architect kept himself right at the edge of the bed, nearly falling off as he tucked himself into a tight ball. Hopefully, this was enough to evade the awkwardness of a shared bed…
-
In the morning, Grian had to pry himself off his scalding hot roommate, both so intertwined and close together that it was like they had become one.
When Scar wakes up half an hour later, he doesn’t tell him about them cuddling, or how it was the best sleep he’s had in a while. Instead, he says, “Get out of bed, we’re setting off in twenty minutes!”
They rushed to get their suits on. Grian was wearing a beige suit with fake gold trims and a white shirt to match the rest of the groomsmen and Scar was wearing black suit pants with a green velvet waistcoat, white button-up and a black bow. Scar messed with his sleeves, “Is this okay? I did have a red blazer but I worried that was a bit too much-”
“There is no time for this!” Grian pushed him towards the door, getting them into the car.
As they drove, the architect found himself saying, “There are probably a few things I need to tell you.”
Scar turned to him, giving him his full attention with a thin smile.
“I kind of told my parents that you were this super busy guy so if they ask why you’re never there when they call, say that you’re… I don’t know, something boring that they won’t ask any follow-up questions to,” He explained, “Oh! Yeah, you also go out of town a lot for business.”
“I do go out of town a lot for business.”
“Then it’s perfect. Just nod along to anything they say, dodge any questions and you’ll do great,” Grian said as they arrived at the venue, getting out of the car.
They followed the handmade wooden signs that led them to a large open field. In the middle, there was a large tent to shield them from the elements just in case with a dance floor and string lights but most of the wedding was outside. A long dark oak table could be seen with a bountiful of flowers, leaves, and candles. There was a ranch nearby that added to the whole ambience of the area.
As soon as Grian stepped into the area, he could see a handful of people dotted around, clearly trying to set up the main wedding furniture for the rehearsal.
“Wait, so who’s your brother marrying?” His roommate asked as they got closer to the celebration.
The architect pointed over to a blonde man helping his brother set up the tablecloth with giddy enthusiasm, “Tango, he’s the one on the left in the red suit, my brother is the one with the blue suit.”
“Awe, they look very happy,” Scar cooed.
“Yeah… it’s obnoxious.”
After Grian spoke, he saw Pearl with a dark blue dress on, it sparkled like the night sky. He also saw her spot him… Before he had time to run, his sister marched over and swiftly hit him over the back of the head, “G! You’re late.”
“It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know where I was going, your directions didn’t help…” That earned him another hit on the skull, obviously not hard enough to hurt but he still sulked and rubbed the area to try and make her feel bad.
Pearl opened her mouth to scold him more but Scar swiftly interviewed, extending his hand with a chipper voice, “You must be Pearl, it’s a pleasure to meet you!”
His sister looked at the giant, then back to Grian, and then back and forth until a surprised laugh burst out of her, “How have you managed to get him?”
“Pearl,” The architect said through gritted teeth, “This is Scar… my boyfriend.”
He tried not to sound hesitant when he said the last part but it seemed to go under the radar as his sister quickly shook his roommate’s hand, “It’s so great to meet you finally! Here, let me introduce you to everyone!”
Before Grian could protest, Pearl began dragging Scar along with the smallest man begrudgingly running alongside them to make sure that his roommate didn’t say anything stupid. They met everyone. Joel with his partners Lizzie, Sausage, and their son Hermes. His parents made sure to pinch both of their cheeks and hug Scar tightly, making them promise to talk to them soon. His grandparents on both sides, aunts, uncles, everybody in his family he could remember and even the ones that he couldn’t.
It was still a pretty small wedding so everybody that was invited was also at the rehearsal, mainly to help get everything together and have a small meal afterwards before the big day. Soon, they found themselves sitting at one of the dining chairs with Tango and Jimmy, folding napkins because his brother was a nitpicker, he wanted everything to be perfect.
“So, how did you two meet?” Scar began as he set aside a folded napkin.
“It’s a funny story actually,” Grian had to suppress his groan as his brother began as he always did with the story he had heard a million times, “I had tried to get into horse riding a few years ago, but something freaks out the one I’m riding and suddenly I’m flying into the air! I must have knocked my head because when I woke up the paramedics were around me, they thought I had died! Tango owned that said ranch and felt so bad that he asked to take me to dinner as an apology and well… the rest is history.”
They smiled fondly at each other, stopping what they were doing just so they could hold each other’s hands, staring into each other’s eyes like they were looking at their future. It made Grian feel… lonely.
Tango cleared his throat, trying to clear the blush from his cheeks, “Anyway, I’ve got to ask, how did you guys meet?”
They both instantly tensed up. They hadn’t thought of what to say when they were asked, what do they do? Quick, quick, Grian think of something!
Before he could open his mouth, Scar interrupted him, “It’s not anything special like your guy’s story, which is so sweet. It was mostly a friend-of-a-friend situation, you know? Got set up on a blind date and well, I thought he was wonderful.”
The look that Scar gives him, paired with that wide smile and wink of his eye, gives him a terrible fluttering in his stomach…
Jimmy scoffs, “Wonderful? Are you sure you weren’t on a date with somebody else?”
His roommate lets out a laugh, “Grian can be a prickly cactus but I don’t mind. He’s smart and passionate about his architecture, you should see him during a deadline, he’s determined when he needs to be and I admire that.”
Grian couldn’t take his eyes away from Scar. He never knew that he felt this way… Or maybe he didn’t. If he didn’t then he was one convincing liar. It seemed so detailed, had Scar been paying that much attention to him these past few months…? In that moment, he had never felt better about his choices to bring the man, he could already imagine every way that Mumbo would nervously break down at the slight glimpse of a difficult situation.
“Awe! That’s very sweet,” Tango’s gaze landed on Grian, “How is work treating you?”
“Ah, you know, it’s very hectic at the moment, the workload is getting worse but a job’s a job, right?”
They nodded before Jimmy’s eyes squinted, “So, Scar, where do you work?”
“Ah, I uh-” Grian could spot Scar messing with his sleeves out of the corner of his eye, “I’m a salesman actually, do a lot of work for companies out of the city.”
Jimmy looked at him with a long stare like he was trying to decipher him, trying to find any signs that he wasn’t what he seemed to be. Grian nearly started sweating before a bright flash caused everyone to yelp. Pearl was grinning widely as she grabbed the Polaroid out of the camera, “Perfect time for a candid picture, right?”
“You nearly blinded me!” The youngest sibling complained, rubbing his eyes.
“Wait, wait, can I use it real quick?” Grian asked, standing up from the table.
“Yeah! Just press this button and look through this hole to see what you’re taking a picture of,” His sister handed him the Polaroid picture.
Quickly, Grian aimed it at Scar, taking him by surprise as he clicked the button and a bright flash blinded the poor man, “Ah! Give me a warning!”
The dirty blonde just chuckled as he placed the Polaroid into his suit pocket to laugh at later. They ended up taking a whole bunch of pictures, Scar even got his revenge by taking a picture of Grian while he was mid-bite, only to then put the picture inside his wallet which… made him feel embarrassed obviously but also fond and loved. He had never really been shown off, even if the first time it happened was with a horrid Polaroid it still made him feel fuzzy.
Soon, after the rehearsal and a few drinks that left them tipsy, they said their goodbyes and made their way back to the car, his parents giving them the biggest hugs. Scar even got a kiss on the cheek and his grandmother pinched his cheek which seemed to make him happy. As they walked down to the parking lot, Grian piped up, “Salesman, huh?”
“Hm? What about it?”
“It’s just a great lie. Nobody wants to ask questions about what a salesman does.”
Scar stopped in his tracks, “Grian.”
“Yeah?”
“I am a salesman.”
Grian could instantly feel himself getting red in the face, “Oh my- I- I’m so sorry! I thought that was just part of the con, I didn’t mean to imply that-”
His rambling was interrupted by a loud bubbly laugh, “It’s alright, I’m more surprised you didn’t know, what did you think I did for a living?”
The architect opened up his mouth but closed it quickly after. He hadn’t thought about it before, he hadn’t thought about his roommate at all until this very much, this one day was the most time they’d spent together than the entire months they’d lived together combined. He knew the basics, like his name and that he had a job that let him pay the rent but that was about it… Which didn’t make him sound like the best person.
“I… I don’t know,” He quietly said, swiftly leading the conversation away from his major flaw, “What do you sell?”
“Ah, a little bit of everything, really,” Scar rubbed the back of his neck, looking away, “Mainly insurance, life and otherwise, but also expensive gems and crystals.”
“Crystals, huh? Kinda makes you sound like a conman.”
“A conman?! That- That is so insane, I- Well- Oh look! There’s the car!” Scar blurted out, jogging to the smaller man’s small car.
Grian stalled before smiling softly. Somehow, Scar made this wedding so much more fun than he ever thought. The brunet always talked about him so kindly, praising him to his family, making sure to stay by his side. That seemed like such a low bar but he couldn’t recall his past partners ever doing something like that. Scar made things seem brighter and the more he found out about the man the more interesting he seemed. A part of him never wanted to stop finding out things about Scar…
The architect made his way over to his roommate, asking as he did, “Hey Scar? Why don’t you tell me what the last time you went to a wedding?”
-
The two made their way into the hotel with bountiful laughter.
They leaned into each other as they clumsily made their way into the elevator, grinning ear to ear. When Grian leaned over to press the button, he noticed that their hands were slotted together, when had that happened? They had been clingy during the rehearsal to try and sell their act, resting his head on Scar’s shoulder, arm resting around him, but right now nobody was watching. Subtly, he pulled his hand away, it was just habit, it didn’t mean anything, so why were his cheeks so warm?
Exhausted from the day’s events, they nearly fell into their hotel room. While Grian sat down on the bed and fell backwards, hoping the mattress could swallow him whole, Scar began undressing, throwing his bow and vest onto the dresser to be worn tomorrow. When the architect sneaked a look, his heart got stuck in his throat. Scar had begun unbuttoning his shirt, chest now visible. Grian couldn’t stop staring at a part of his roommate he never has been able to see before.
The line of his pecs, the sparse hair on his chest, and the scars that littered his tanned skin made him look so regal. A flash of green eyes caught his attention as Scar catches him in the act.
“You like what you see?” He spoke slowly with a manic smirk, half-joking, half-not.
“H-How did you…” Grian tried to find the right words to use, all while trying to hopelessly help his ruby cheeks, “How did you get those scars? If-if you don’t mind me asking…”
Scar’s smirk faltered. Just slightly, barely noticeable if Grian wasn’t hyper-aware of every single line of his face.
“Ah, well…” Scar’s shoulder tensed, rising higher as he turned around to rummage through his suitcase for something to cover himself up but that only made the scars on his scar very visible, “I wasn’t always a good salesman, made a few bad deals with the wrong people when I was younger. Things are okay now though…”
Grian pursed his lips, unsure what to say but deciding on, “You sure are something special, Mr Goodtimes.”
That brought the smile back to his roommate’s face as he softly chuckled, “I try my best.”
When they eventually got ready for bed, it didn’t take long for the lull of sleep to take over but he couldn’t get that story out of his head, the words nagging at his brain like an unwanted parasite. With a frustrated sigh, he turned over to look at Scar, who was staring up at the ceiling with a lost expression, as wide awake as him. The brunet hummed out, “Everything alright?”
“I feel like I should be asking you that.”
The room was dark, the only light was the occasional headlight from passing cars but with how close they were, it was impossible not to notice the fond smile on the man’s face, “I told you I’m okay now, it was years ago. I’m sorry that I worried you.”
“No, no, none of that,” Without thinking, Grian found Scar’s calloused and rough hands and held them in his own, fingers interlocked, “I’m glad you’re doing better but it still sounds like some messed up stuff happened to you before. If- if you want, I could be there for you. I guess…”
He sounded so unbelievably unsure of himself, uncertain of his intent or his reasoning but Scar still squeezed his hand, keeping them together, “Thank you G…”
His friend moved in closer, leg overtop of him as he rested his face on Grian's neck, his breathing could be felt on his skin and well… It wasn’t like the architect was about to tell him that he couldn’t and if he slept like a cloud that night then that would be his secret.
-
When Grian woke up their hands were still entwined together like a tied thread. Even with the massive amount of shuffling that Scar did they still had at least one hand connected. It almost felt bad to separate them. Almost.
He soon woke up his sleeping friend as they got ready for the wedding. If he was late for this one then Pearl might beat him.
They took turns using the shower and trying to iron out the creases in their formal clothes they had thrown on the ground. Despite their early start to the day, they still ended up running to the car after getting some breakfast to go. But thankfully for Jimmy (and for Grian’s continued existence), they made it on time, getting into their seats as they waited for the wedding to start.
As the music soared, he could feel himself start to smile. The wedding was beautiful, exactly how Jimmy wanted it ever since he was little.
When he watched his little brother walk down the aisle, he could feel himself get sappy. It felt like yesterday that he was babysitting, trying to keep the infant entertained until his parents finished making his carrot puree. He remembers picking him up from school until his last day. And now he was grown, an adult, and maybe the fact that his baby brother was getting married before him made his heart hurt but despite all the mockery and jokes made at his expense, he was happy for Jimmy. He was happy with Tango and Tango was happy with him, what more could somebody want?
They spoke their vows, beautifully written but spoken through bubbled squeaks of happy crying and giggling as they couldn’t resist holding each other's hands. Soon, they were pronounced husband and husband and Jimmy threw his bouquet in the air so he could madly kiss his newly appointed partner in life.
Grian barely even noticed until the bouquet hit him right on the head, landing in his lap. Pearl instantly took this as a chance to nudge him in his shoulder between clapping, “Guess you and Scar are gonna be the next wedding?”
He grimaced, instantly throwing the bouquet into her hands before anybody could say anything that made his skin itch.
The ceremony ended and they began sitting at the large dining table set up next to a buffet full of finger foods made with products from the local farm. Grian instantly grabbed himself a paper plate and piled it full of triangle sandwiches and cupcakes instead of a cake. Scar ended up bumping into each other and they swiftly got pulled into an endless conversation, not realising how sucked in they were in each other’s presence until Pearl told him to stop hogging the crisps.
It was strange, Grian ended up spending most of his time with Scar. Ate his food with him, and even after everybody cleared up and started to celebrate, the two stayed in their seats, like it was only them in the world.
His entire life Grian has hated these events, often sticking to the corner or clinging to one of his siblings to keep him company in every family gathering and social party, too stubborn and afraid to try and spark an awkward conversation with somebody that goes nowhere. And now Grian was sure that he hadn’t laughed harder, cheeks hurting from how much he was smiling.
It was nice…
Soon, a popular pop song came on and Scar beamed, grabbing his hand, “We have to dance!”
“Oh no, no, no! I don’t dance-”
“Well, now you do!”
Scar pulled the architect into the middle of the dance floor with ease and with how brightly he was smiling, giggling with joy, how could Grian let him down now? He tried not to think about the playful mockery from his siblings and danced like nobody was watching, keeping his eyes on the man in front of him. Ever so often their hands would touch and a twinge of electricity would surge through him but he tried not to think about it. Tried.
He couldn’t control the butterflies fluttering around in his gut nor the fast beating of his heart that would skip a beat every time their eyes would meet. Grian wasn’t stupid, he knew what it meant. He was just too much of a coward to admit it, too scared to even think about the possibility that he liked-
Lost in his mind, he didn’t notice he lost his footing until he tripped over his own feet, crashing down to the hard dance floor. Or he should have but Scar was quicker, grabbing him and hoisting him back upright, “Are you alright?”
“Y-Yeah, yeah, just…” Grian shook his head, “I need to get some air.”
Scar let out a whisper of a laugh, “I don’t think you can get any fresher air than this.”
“Then I need to leave, I need somewhere I can think, I just- I need-”
Hands grabbed him by his shoulders, firm and comforting, “Hey, it’s okay, what’s going on? Do you want us to leave for a second?”
“No, no, just me, I need to leave.”
Without much more of an explanation, Grian shrugged off the contact and made his way through the dancing crowd. He didn’t think about the expression of a kicked puppy on Scar’s face nor the burning of his cheeks that made the cold air feel like a relief. He felt half tempted to just leave, to get into his car and drive off as he was there for the ceremony, that should be enough right? Maybe he should go all the way back home but it felt cruel to leave Scar abandoned in a different state.
Gosh, he’s messed this all up. When he agreed to fake date Scar he didn’t expect to catch feelings, this wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t real or even anything serious, it was a stupid fake relationship based on a fake boyfriend he lied to his parents about, all this was his doing, and there was nobody to blame but himself.
Grian felt lost, unsure of what to do, where to go, and why he was still trying to do anything at all and not just crawling into a hole and hiding for years, drowning himself in self-pity.
Suddenly, a hand stopped his track to his car.
Turning around he didn’t see who he expected to see. Pearl stared at him with this analysing stare, her lips thin and twisted into a frown, “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m leaving, I’ve been here long enough.”
That made her frown worse, now more resembling a scowl, “What about your boyfriend? Are you just gonna leave him here-”
“He’s not my boyfriend!” Grian blurted out without thinking but found himself feeling freer the moment the words left his lips, “Yeah, you got me, I’ve been lying about having a partner, I’m a lonely man who’s too much of a workaholic to talk to anybody, are you happy?”
Pearl’s eyes widened, touch recoiling as her mouth opened agape. And then she sighed, “No, I’m not. G, I already knew.”
“...What?”
“Of course the boyfriend that magically appeared when mum kept asking you about your love life was fake, I’m not stupid. I’m surprised you got somebody to come with you to the wedding, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t wanna embarrass myself just in case it was true… And it was fun to see you dig yourself into a deep hole.”
Grian glared at her, “Is this all this conversation gonna be? Just rubbing in my face that I made bad decisions?”
“No, well kind-of… Who’s Scar then? One of your friends?”
“No! Yes, it-... it’s complicated.”
Pearl crossed her arms, “Humor me.”
“He’s my roommate but… he is my friend now? I don’t know, this weekend has been strange, I t-think I got a bit carried away, I-I like him, he’s probably noticed and thinks I’m weird…”
“C’mon, the way that he looks at you, you’d have to be an idiot to not know that he likes you too.”
“That’s fake! I don’t even know if I’m even a friend to him!”
“You’re doing your classic Grian overthink right now, why don’t you just talk to him?”
Even the suggestion makes him scoff, “Yeah, right…”
“I’m being serious, you know a lot of your problems could be solved if you tried a little thing called communication.”
Grian rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away like a spoiled brat not wanting to hear the truth. There were so many things that could go wrong if he followed that advice. Rejection, isolation, insult, mockery, and hearing what people thought of him. Just thinking about it gives him shivers.
Pearl let out an exhale then-
“Why won’t you let yourself be happy?”
Grian froze, time itself stopping as the night grew still and the cold stalled.
He didn’t say a word.
With a sigh, Pearl turned around and walked back towards the celebration, the distant sound of music and laughter felt like a taunt. He was alone again like he always was.
Maybe he just was destined to never be with somebody. Maybe the only company he would ever get was his own, which was fickle at best.
With a sigh, he continued to walk to the parking lot, deciding to stay in the hotel room until it was time to go back home. It was easier… Safer that way. No way to get hurt if you never let yourself get close to anybody. No way to hurt another person if you don’t talk to them.
Just as he saw his car in the field of others, a voice cried out, “Grian!”
This time the voice was deeper, making his heart skip a beat. Why was he here?
Scar came over, huffing as he tried to say, “Pearl… told me… that you… were leaving?”
“Yeah…” Grian didn’t even have the decency to look him in the eyes.
“Wha- Why? The party has barely started!”
“Scar- It’s-” The architect huffed, gritting his teeth, “It’s nothing, it’s fine, honestly it’s none of your business so if you don’t mind, I’m going to go to the hotel, I’ll see you when you get back, I guess…”
He forced his voice to be cold, he forced it to be neutral and not like he was close to breaking down. Butterflies fluttered around in his stomach like a nest of wasps, threatening to come up in one big confession of embarrassing feelings and terrible thoughts about them being the ones standing at that altar. Why was Scar doing this to him? Why did he have to creep in so effortlessly?
Grian turned his back towards his roommate and started to walk to his car but was quickly stopped by a hand on his wrist.
He made a mistake by looking back. Staring into Scar’s eyes that were wide, frantic, panicked, his mouth twisted up in a horrid frown, lips pursed together, and eyebrows furrowed together. Grian hated even more that he was the one to make it.
“I- Wh-... I don’t understand, everything was so lovely not even a few minutes ago, what’s going on? Did I…” The touch faded as Scar’s hand went loose and heavy, a heartbreaking glistening in his emerald eyes, “Did I do something wrong…? Because I’m sorry- I swear I didn’t mean to cross any boundaries, I- I just-”
“Stop, stop…” Grian couldn’t bear to look at him anymore, “Please stop… It’s not you, I swear, it’s me, I-”
“Oh, I see. Giving me that excuse… Look, if you didn’t want me around anymore, if- If you thought I was being too annoying or- or… overbearing or… weird… then just say that, don’t try and lie to me…” Scar let out a shaky breath, “I appreciate you trying to let me down easy but… I would have preferred it if you didn’t say anything at all… We only have a few hours left. After that, you can forget about all this and-”
“Scar, what are you trying to say?”
They locked eyes. Scar looked like he was about to cry. Grian wanted so badly to comfort him, do something, anything that wasn’t being frozen in place.
The brunet smiled sadly, “It’s not you, it’s me? Come on, G… You realised how I’ve been feeling and you’re trying to tell me that you want to stop fake dating… right?”
Grian stood there with his mouth agape, struggling to find air in his lungs, struggling to get any sort of noise out of his useless mouth, struggling to even listen as the conversation played in loops in his head, trying to make sense of it all.
“I thought so… I- I’ll make it easy for you, okay? We don’t have to keep doing this anymore, go back to the hotel, I’ll… I’ll get back home some other way…” Scar turned around but Grian could still see the way his hand reached up to wipe away something from his cheek, “Thank you for… thanks…”
Then he walked away, back into the wedding with his head hung low. Grian was too much of a coward to ask him to stay.
Grian tried desperately to shake it off but his hands were shaking, he wasn’t in a good place. He has never hated the person he was as much as he did in this moment. Scar didn’t do anything to him, he didn’t deserve any of this. Scar was a good person, unlike him, how did he possibly fall for the architect? It was all so confusing…
His mind is filled with past relationships, and how they have ended, even though he knew that this wasn’t anything like that. Even if they had no deep conversations that could point out his flaws, they still ended up being miserable until he eventually dumped the person as fast as he could. Trying to get distance between them before they could cross the line between ‘dating’ and ‘in a relationship’, between ‘liking’ and ‘loving’. All this terrible thinking causes a single thought to pop into his head and circle endlessly like a parasite until it gets through his thick skull.
Grian was the problem.
It was never his partners’ fault, who tried to make things work and begged him to let them into his defensive walls. It was never his busy schedule that kept him away from others or his ‘destiny’ to live a life alone. It was him, he was the only thing stopping him from being happy…
He should leave before he causes any more damage…
His trembling fingers tried to grab his keys from his pocket but found that they had caught something, a flimsy thing flying out of his pocket and onto the ground. It was a Polaroid. It had been there since yesterday, he had completely forgotten all about it. It was now fully developed. Any thoughts of leaving quickly evaporated as he picked it up carefully, making sure not to damage this too.
Grian had taken a candid picture of Scar as he was busy doing something he couldn’t remember. He thought he would have caught the man making a weird face or something but instead, it seemed that all Scar was doing was looking at him.
His eyes completely overlook the camera to instead stare fondly at Grian with this… twinkle in his eyes. His smile was soft, and tender, it somehow managed to break his heart even more. He didn’t think that was possible but seeing the smile lines creasing his eyes and the dimples that pinched his cheek, was devastating.
Nobody has ever looked at him like this.
Nobody has ever looked at him like he was the sun, like he was the earth, like he was a deity, or somebody worthy of being loved let alone be given a single glance from the handsome man that was Scar. He hated how the last time he looked, the only sparkle in Scar’s eyes were tears that he was trying so hard to suppress…
He should leave, he couldn’t leave. Grian felt so conflicted, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He was so sure that trying to fix this would surely make things worse but leaving… that would be the end of everything. There was no going back if he left right now, no second chances. If he was going to do something, if he wanted to be with Scar then he had to do something he would hate.
Guess the real question was… could he really go back to being friends with Scar after all this…?
To go back to a cold bed with a person he doesn’t talk to at all living in his home. They would probably have to try and dodge seeing the other until eventually one of them moves out, leaving a cold spot in their absence. The hollow feeling that followed the horrible train of thought pushed him forward.
With trembling legs, Grian walked back to the wedding.
The music was still blasting through the speakers, a crowd surrounded the dance floor as half-drunken people danced to songs from their childhood. Nobody even noticed that he was back, he tried not to think about whether anybody would have missed him being there because he felt like he would hate the answer.
Grian spotted Scar sitting at the table in the night, alone and staring at his phone with a dead look on his face.
With a shaky breath in and out, Grian took his chance. He walked up to the man and extended his hand hesitantly, catching the brunet’s attention as he meekly asked, “Can I-... can I please have this dance?”
Scar just looked at him with a perplexed expression, “Dance with you…? Why- Why would you want to dance with me?”
“Because there are a lot of things I didn’t get to say and-and I want to make it up to you. We never did get to finish dancing…”
The man blinked, then again, before slowly, he reached out and took his hand.
Grian led him towards the dance floor, making sure to intertwine their fingers together, squeezing his hand in a desperate attempt to tell the other that he was here to stay. Together they stepped onto the floor, neither taking the first step to move an inch. With a hastily exhale, Grian blurted out, “I’m sorry that I’m such a coward.”
Scar held on tight, chuckling sadly, “...a coward wouldn’t be standing here next to me.”
“Stop, stop… I am a coward, I’m an asshole, I should have just told you that I like you too, I should have said so many things-”
Suddenly, the song switched to a slow tune that exchanged the drunken dancing to the couples darting to the dance floor, holding each other tight with giddy smiles, swaying gently to the beat. Scar takes a step forward and pulls Grian in.
Scar was warm and wonderful, making his heart skip so many beats when he placed his rough hand gently on the small of his waist, pulling him in close enough for their chests to touch. A hand was placed on his shoulder as Grian did the same, letting Scar lead as they moved to the music that soothed their troubled minds.
It was like nobody else was around them as the lights shone down on them. Scar smiled softly down at it, eyelashes still damp and a pained expression in those emerald eyes of his. Grian didn’t let himself overthink as he reached up and cupped the man’s scarred cheek, rubbing his thumb to get rid of any wetness from his face. Scar leaned into the touch with vigour, closing his eyes to enjoy the moment they were in.
“I love the way you look at me,” Grian found himself saying, too scared to let this moment go to waste without confessing his feelings, “I love the way you talk to my family, how you’re so kind and patient with my antics, you’re wonderful and I can’t help but feel like I don’t deserve you. How can you not see that I will only pull us both down?”
“Because…” The words die on his lips, “I don’t know, maybe love has blinded me but… I want to try, I’ve loved this weekend, I’ve loved your adorable face and your freckles, I can’t get them out of my head, and if it all goes wrong, you can tell me that you told me so…”
Suddenly, the song changes to something way too high beat for the moment. Grian grabbed Scar’s wrists and pulled him to a scheduled area outside, making sure not to hold on too tight just in case he changed his mind. They stand close to one another, trying to gather some warmth in the cold night.
Grian decided to bite the bullet, “I’m not a good person, I can be selfish, self-destructive, and a pain in the ass but… if you want to then I want to as well. I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to just be your pretend boyfriend, I want to be yours, even when nobody is looking, which I know sounds ridiculous-”
Scar grabs his wrists, blurting out, “It’s not ridiculous!”
A long silence filled the conversation but it wasn’t stale, it was full of tension and desire that Grian had never noticed before. Scar bit his bottom lip, taking a small step closer into his bubble before whispering like somebody could hear over the music, “I know you said that it was off the table but… can I kiss you?”
Grian didn’t even bother nodding before he grabbed Scar by the sides of his face and pulled him into a haste kiss, worried that his overthinking would try and make him question his desperation for intimacy as it had done so many times before. They pull apart hesitantly before Scar puts a soft hand on his cheek and slowly comes back for another, Grian now able to savour the delicate declaration of love…
Soon, they pulled apart and looked each other in the eyes, glistening with joy as they chuckled at the absurdity of the situation. Then, Jimmy popped his head out to bark, “There you two are! Come on! They finally got the karaoke machine working!”
The two looked at each other, unable to control their growing smiles as they reached out and held hands, walking back into the wedding as a duo…