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"You look at me different."
Xiao flinched, startled by the sudden words. The silence had prevailed for quite a while, although not the awkward type, but their usual comfortable silence, which Xiao often savored and cherished. It was strange not being safely tucked into Venti's side, an old song hummed softly into his ear.
"I don't understand what you mean by that." He did. At least partly. Ever since that bright purple, or perhaps magenta would be a better word to describe it (Xiao was never good with colours, never really took an interest in their names), glow began prominently shining in his beloved's irises.
"Are you scared of me?" Venti asked, voice unusually soft, like the one Xiao remembers him using while comforting frightened or injured children. "I don't want you to be scared." A sad, guilty even, undertone was clearly heard in those words.
"No," Xiao said firmly. It was the truth, an answer he didn't even have to think about before saying. "It's not fear, not after the initial few minutes of seeing what happened to you, at least. It's..."
It's been a while since then, a good few months since Xiao answered the call of his name, only to stumble upon a dissociated Venti, eyes shining a harsh pink (or maybe it was more so plum?) There was fear, he remembers, in every part of his body. Centuries upon centuries of fighting and honing his skills all suddenly dissipated.
He froze, Xiao realized with terror. His weapon was heavy on his back, ready to be drawn at any time but, even if his life depended on it, Xiao doesn't think he could ever bring himself to raise his blade against Venti. Even if he knew he could beat the Archon in combat, even if he knew he would get out unscathed, the thought of harming his lover was stronger than his fear of what would happen to him if he just let it.
But it was fine, for Xiao at the very least. Despite the suffocating atmosphere and the spiraling thoughts, despite the inner screaming and trying to figure out what the fuck is happening, despite feeling the blood flow being cut off from his lower body, despite the choke hold the abyssal energy had on him, there was a strange calm.
It was serene in a way most things aren't. It was serene in a way not even the gorgeous views of Liyue, or any other nation were (although Xiao barely got the chance to see any of the sights, not willing to let off on his duty), it was almost terrifying how he could be so scared, yet so overwhelmingly calm at the same time.
"Venti?" His voice sounded distant, and he couldn't help but allow his body to feel the full impact of every emotion that was currently bombarding it.
"Ah, darling!" And just like that, the calm was gone, completely vanished, leaving only confusion and racing thoughts in its wake. Darling? Not Liebling? That... should it really cause him this much concern? He was paranoid by nature, even more so by nurture, so that little detail was safely tucked away into the back of Xiao's mind.
Venti wasn't a danger, surprisingly. Not to Xiao. But he doesn't think he'll ever forget the small smile on Venti's face as he hugged Xiao and kissed him gently on the cheek; not fake but, condescending? No, that wasn't it. But it was something and Xiao so desperately wished he knew how to read emotions better.
"...bittersweet."
"Hm?" Venti turned toward him, amber reflected in his eyes, and that same smile from all those months ago stood on his face. Too tranquil, too unsettling to be genuine, but not fake, it wasn't fake- it was certainly frustrating, that's for sure.
"I miss you," Xiao whispered, but his lower lip wobbled, suddenly unsure of himself. He was almost contemplating his own words, the meaning behind them. The surrounding smell of nature, harsh and almost stinging his nostrils, almost relaxed him, and that made him question himself.
Venti laughed lightly, reaching out a hand and cupping Xiao's face, his thumb going back and forth as he leaned in closer. "Miss me? But darling, you have me." Venti pressed a quick kiss to Xiao's forehead. "All to yourself."
Xiao laughed, a smile coming to his face as well. Perhaps Venti was right, maybe he was being a little too paranoid. After all, he was right about your guard being down being so relieving, like all of the burden is being lifted off your shoulders, and for once, Xiao isn't paying the price for it.
"We should have done this centuries ago." Was it venom that slipped into Xiao's voice? He couldn't tell, but by the surprised look on his lover's face, he imagined that it was. "Don't look at me like that. You yourself said it already, we've served this world for far too long without getting anything in return. It was simply unjust, and we just let it slide."
That same smile which is engraved in Xiao's memory, and will forever remain as something he first notices about Venti now, crossed Venti's face once more. "Heh, I'm glad you're thinking that way!" He hugged Xiao tightly, wrapping his big, soft wings around him and pressing him against his body. Xiao felt very warm, and not just because of how close he was to Venti. "We- you deserve it."
"You're right," Xiao relaxed against the other's neck. "I don't miss you, I already have you. I just miss the Mondstadtian, it was certainly endearing." Since when did he get so bold? Perhaps all of the things currently happening are catching up to him.
"Oh? I didn't realise, why didn't you just say so, Liebling?" Venti giggled, nuzzling his nose in Xiao's hair. Xiao perked up at hearing the nickname, having gotten so used to it that it's practically his second name now. Venti never calls him Xiao except when he has to call for him from afar.
"Rex Lapis will not forgive this betrayal," Xiao said, words not matching the happy, almost challenging tone of his voice. "Shame he lost his strongest soldier," Xiao mocked and Venti laughed, hugging Xiao tighter.
"Heh, you're on my side now, and he'll regret not taking care of you properly and allowing you to suffer alone." And in that moment Xiao finally understood what Venti's smile was. It wasn't joy, it wasn't fake, it wasn't mocking.
It was psychopathic. Eerily calm and calculated, already knowing that victory is within reach. Xiao mirrored the expression.
"I remember when you told me that you wanted to make the world a better place for everybody, that that's the reason, or one of many, as to why you chose freedom. Why you so desperately wanted it for everyone."
"And I remember when you told me you wanted nothing more than to protect it. That's why you continued with your duty even when your contract was fulfilled, that's why you cared too much."
"I think... this is a much better alternative."
Around them, the world was ablaze.