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I. ALONE BEFORE MIYANO
The cruel sound of the alarm ringed incessantly in his ears, signalling the start of another annoying day.
Sasaki groaned and shut it off, rolling on his other side in the vane hope to fall back asleep.
He had no energy to get up that morning and his pitch dark room looked way too comfortable to decline the invitation.
Outside, birds were chirping and he could hear the faint chattering of people going about their day in the bakery, right below him.
People who had things to do, places to be, other people to meet.
The more Sasaki thought about this, the more he felt his bones grow heavy, just like his desire to sink under the covers.
He had no real need to get up from that bed.
School was indeed an obligation, but he knew he could get away with it by putting minimal effort.
Would someone even notice his absence anyway?
"Shuu?? Breakfast is ready, hurry up!" he heard Satoko calling him from the kitchen.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed from two incoming messages.
-->Ogasawara: "Get your ass here, I got you that CD"
-->Hirano: "We have a test today, don't be late"
Sasaki sighed and locked his phone.
Okay, maybe he had people who would notice if he suddenly went missing.
And that somehow made his guts twist in pain from guilt.
He truly didn't want to upset those who cared about him, but at the same time he didn't have the will to live up to their expectations.
He promised Satoko he would stop running away from things that looked boring and difficult and he somehow managed to get in a decent high school to prove he had good intentions, but could good intentions be enough?
People around him, they all seem to have something more.
Something to work for.
Passion, dreams, ambitions pushing them forward.
His parents had their bakery, Satoko too made it clear that she would like to take care of it eventually; Ogasawara was building a future with his girlfriend; Hirano was working his ass off to achieve his goals.
Sasaki had nothing.
He went with the flow, watching the days pass him by, one after the other; he simply stayed afloat in a river, unable to move, letting the stream take him wherever it wanted to go.
He had no actual goals. No wishes. No spark of fire within him.
If only he could have something too.
Anything that would help him move forward, swim against those deep and stormy waters, give him a purpose.
"All good things come to those who can wait", Sasaki's dad had told him when he was little and he was teaching his son that cakes need time to bake.
Sasaki hated to wait.
He had very little patience and that's why he constantly grew bored of things.
Nothing had ever been worth sticking around until that day.
Little did Sasaki know that he would find that special something too and very soon.
A special someone.
II. ALONE AFTER MIYANO
"Morning Shuu!" Satoko greeted him, stepping into the kitchen to have a quick breakfast.
Sasaki simply acknowledged her presence and took a sip of his café au lait.
"Today you're up early again!" his sister chirped, her voice full of pride and surprise.
"Mh..." Sasaki shrugged and mumbled with little enthusiasm.
As if he could ever go back to sleep after another dream that left him wide awake with a dry mouth and a heart jamming in his ribcage.
If he closed his eyes again he could still picture Myaa-chan so vividly, sound asleep over the table in the disciplinary committee room with a mask covering his pretty face; he could still hear the deep, strained breaths leaving his lips; he could feel the texture of Miyano's soft and sweaty hair on the tip of his fingers and see those gorgeous long eyelashes twitch imperceptibly.
Memories of a day when he had found the younger one resting in the same position, months before.
A time when Sasaki could only barely tickle the other's lips, cause doing more than that felt wrong.
In his dreams though, he could also lean down and plant a firm, reassuring kiss over the sleeping boy's lips, relishing the warmth of Miyano's breaths caressing Sasaki's mouth through the mask.
Waking up to the harsh reality of his empty room had been a cold shower that morning, so much that Sasaki actually wondered if he should have skipped school that day.
"I can't even remember the last time you were late for school, you're such a good boy lately!" Satoko snickered, bringing him back from his daydreaming state.
"Shut up..." Sasaki retorted, glaring at her.
"Ah, now I recognize you" she teased.
He knew he couldn't really blame his sister though.
He was different.
He had a reason to wake up every morning now, there was a constant surge of energy pushing him forward, encouraging him to do something, to change.
For Miyano's sake.
Myaa-chan was such an honour student after all, hard-working, kind and polite no matter the situation, honest to a fault; he always listened carefully to what Sasaki had to say, looking at him straight in the eyes.
Falling for such a person had been so easy and inevitable.
And the younger boy didn't even reject his confession, he was even taking his time to actually consider it carefully.
Miyano was probably thinking about him even then, his delusional brain supplied.
He was offering Sasaki all the care in the world, so Sasaki too felt like he wanted to do better for him.
To be better for him.
To grow up into a more mature, cooler version of himself that could support Miyano whenever he needed it and treat him with the same care Miyano was giving him.
That's why he tried to wake up on time, worked more shifts at the bakery, asked Hirano for help with his homework and gave his best in his studies.
So he could be the man that Miyano deserved to have by his side.
So that, no matter what his answer would be in the end, Miyano could always rely on him, even as friends.
III. ALONE AFTER MIYANO'S CONFESSION
Sasaki felt restless.
Every part of him, his mind, his body, his heart ached to see Miyano.
He glanced at the clock once more, bright numbers on the screen reminding him with no mercy that little time had passed after all, that Myaa-chan was probably still asleep and that school was undoubtedly closed at that ungodly hour.
Sasaki cursed his inner clock for waking him up before dawn out of habit, even when he didn't have to lend a hand at the bakery.
On any other occasion he would go back to sleep with no qualms, but that morning he simply couldn't turn off his brain.
So the boy simply laid on his back defeated, one arm covering his eyes, recalling the events of the night before.
Miyano confessed to him.
He said that he loved him.
Twice.
With his unmistakable red face and big glossy eyes.
And a heart going crazy only for him.
Deep down, Sasaki believed that what they had was lost for good after he had tried to kiss him; he was convinced that Miyano would reject him, eventually; that one day or another they would have to part ways and be distant friends who support each other from afar...
And yet...
Miyano hugged him.
Miyano kissed him.
'Oh god, I really kissed him.'
Sasaki let out a noise that was nearly a scream.
And some fresh tears fell from his eyes again.
Sasaki didn't try to conceal them this time, somehow they were proof that he wasn't dreaming, that everything was real.
That Miyano truly loved him.
That he chose him.
That they were unmistakably together.
Of all the people on the planet, the one that had been graced the chance to stand next to someone as beautiful as Miyano was him.
That thought alone made him choke on his sobs.
Sasaki was overwhelmed.
He never felt like that before.
After so many years feeling numb, he didn't even know how to handle the wave of emotions hitting him all at once.
Disbelief, happiness, relief, gratefulness.
So he curled on himself, crying all his tears and laughing like a fool, his heart beating in his chest like never before.
Finally awake.
Finally alive.
All good things come to those who can wait.
'So true' he thought, drying his tears with the back of his hand.
Suddenly his phone lit up with a new notification.
--> Miyano Yoshikazu: Good morning senpai! Have a good day!
'God, he's so cute.'
Sasaki stared at the words for a while, leaving a soft peck over the screen, praying that it would somehow reach Miyano's forehead.
<-- Sasaki Shuumei: Mornin' Myaa-chan :) Thanks, you too! See you at school ;)
He took a deep breath and sighed, then he added:
<-- Sasaki Shuumei: I love you.
Almost immediately, he got a reply:
--> Miyano Yoshikazu: I love you too!
And Sasaki swore to himself he would greet Miyano good morning every day for the rest of his life.
IV. SLEEPOVER WITH MIYANO
Sasaki stirred lightly and opened up his eyes.
On a normal day, he would curse himself for leaving the curtains slightly ajar the night before, but that day he couldn't care less.
Not when he had Myaa-chan snuggled between his arms.
Sasaki chuckled softly, closing his eyes once more.
They really managed to take a nap together in the end, even more than that actually.
For the first time, the two of them slept in the same bed.
With all their respective obligations towards high school and college, they inevitably had less time to see each other in person, so they eventually agreed that a sleepover once or twice a month would be a nice compromise.
Sasaki felt like his prayers had been answered.
He indulged his sweetest fantasies and spent hours kissing his boyfriend, squeezing his soft and warm body, catching how his heartbeat raced under the palm of his hand.
He sensed Miyano's breath on his neck, inhaled the scent of his hair, counted the stars outside the window together just to give him an equal number of pecks, listened to his giggles and exchanged words full of mutual adoration.
And most of all, he showered Myaa-chan in all the affection and tenderness he deserved.
The same affection Miyano profusely returned every single day.
Sasaki used to wonder how would it feel to fall asleep next to Miyano, how would it feel to wake up together too.
He smiled then, his nose buried in Miyano's messy curls.
Heavenly.
He couldn't think of another word that would describe the moment best.
If heaven truly existed, then he must be living in it already.
Miyano peacefully sleeping next to him, his face squished against Sasaki's chest, his arm circling the older's waist, loosely gripping the back of his t-shirt, one leg secured between his long ones, his paced slow breaths, his steady heartbeat, a vision without a doubt paradisiacal.
Sasaki didn't really need anything else to know that it was going to be one of the best days of his life for sure.
Since he had met Miyano, every day has been better than the one before.
Suddenly Miyano stirred and stretched his limbs as best as he could, still entangled in Sasaki's arms and legs; he yawned and nuzzled his nose over Sasaki's chest, all under the enamoured gaze of the older one.
"You're adorable, you know that?" Sasaki whispered, his heart close to bursting.
Miyano only whined in response. "That...can't possibly be the first thing you think about as soon as you wake up" the raven haired boy muttered, his face buried in the other's shirt.
"It is, though" Sasaki giggled. "The first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last before I sleep...this and that I love you of course" he added matter-of factly.
"..." Miyano whimpered and gripped the back of Sasaki's t-shirt harder, the red tip of his ears betraying his embarrassment.
"Mornin' Myaa-chan" Sasaki said, kissing the crown of his boyfriend's head.
"Good morning" the other boy replied "Should we get up?" he suggested, not really making an effort to move.
"Don't wanna." Sasaki muttered and rolled on his back, pulling the smaller boy on top of him in one swift movement. "I wanna stay like this forever." he added, caressing Miyano's back.
"We can have another sleepover soon, if you want" Miyano proposed.
"What I really want is to wake up next to you every day...and fall asleep with you in my arms every night" the older one stated, leisurely grazing Miyano's nape up and down with his fingers.
"Hghggh...Shuumei-san...you're way too sweet sometimes" Miyano exhaled, bumping Sasaki's pecs very lightly with his fists.
"Does that mean you'll get sick of me?" Sasaki teased, snickering.
"Never." The other replied with no hesitation. "Maybe..."
"Hmm?" Sasaki peeked at his boyfriend's face, curiosity lighting up his eyes.
"Maybe one day we will always wake up next to each other". Miyano concluded.
Sasaki's eyes widened in disbelief and his heartbeat picked up its pace, matching the rhythm of Miyano's own accelerated beat.
"I sure hope so" he simply said, smiling. "Wait...did you just propose to me again?"
"EH??" Miyano yelled and propped on his elbows, giving Sasaki a clear view of the younger's reddened and shocked expression.
"Just kidding" he cackled, then cupped Miyano's cheeks between his hands and leaned forward to give him a slow and heartfelt good morning kiss.
"You-...I-...I mean...Ahhhh" Miyano stuttered, smoke rising from his head, and hid his face again, completely at loss for words. "One day" he repeated. "Just you wait."
"Sure, I don't mind waiting together."
V. TOGETHER AT HOME
Sasaki scrunched his nose at the feeling of something soft nudging his left cheek.
Tiny soft paws to be precise.
He pried one eye open then, and that's when the fuzzy figure of an orange hair ball came into view, a soft hair ball that purred and rubbed his head over Sasaki's face soon after.
"Mornin' Cookie" he slurred, squeezing the other figure that was still asleep in his arms.
The kitten jumped past Sasaki's neck and sat on the pillow to face him properly.
"You hungry?" the boy muttered and the cat meowed back in response.
Cookie, their ginger cat, was five-months-old.
He and Miyano had found him in their neighbourhood a couple of months before, abandoned inside an old box, the night they had moved into their new shared apartment.
They had inevitably taken him in and Miyano had named him Cookie, because the only thing he could do at that time was making biscuits.
Two months later Cookie had become the one in charge of waking them up apparently.
Seeing Sasaki nodding off again, said kitten changed tactics and proceeded to lick Miyano's raven hair, trying to get his attention too.
"Don't wake Myaa-chan" Sasaki suddenly warned, his look very awake and stern.
The kitten simply ignored him though and climbed down the pillow to tuck himself beneath Miyano's chin instead; Miyano, who woke up giggling at the feeling of fur tickling his throat.
"Wh--..Hey!" Miyano exclaimed, surprised by the small cat attack "Good morning Cookie" he laughed, scratching the pet's head.
"Sorry, I told him not to wake you" Sasaki added, tightening the hold he had around Miyano's waist.
"He's hungry" Miyano replied, bringing the purring orange fur ball closer to his chest.
"He's always hungry" Sasaki playfully retorted, kissing Miyano's temple.
Miyano snickered. "He reminds me of you".
"Yeah? Cause he just loves to sleep, eat nice treats and snuggle next to you?" the older boy joked.
"That too..." Miyano giggled "...also because he's got the same orange hair...and he likes to spoon in the morning...and he loves to make biscuits...and if I scratch his head he will purr just like you" the raven-haired boy continued, proving his point by lifting one hand up to pet Sasaki's hair, who let out a pleased hum in response.
Sasaki propped his head up on one elbow then, tilted the other's boy chin up a little and leaned forward to peck his lips gently.
"Hmmm...he's also cute like you" Miyano muttered on the older's lips.
'God, he's adorable', Sasaki thought.
"You're still the cutest" the ginger boy said and held Miyano's jaw, staring lovingly into his chocolate eyes. "Mornin'" he added, stealing more kisses from his boyfriend.
"Morning Shuumei-san" Miyano replied between pecks, basking in the warmth of Sasaki's affection and Cookie's soft purring beneath his hands.
Mornings like these were not a rarity for them anymore.
After years of waiting, holding back and chasing after each other, they were finally free to live their love like they were meant to.
Building a new life together side by side.
Falling asleep and waking up every day in each other's arms.
VI. TOGETHER AFTER THE WEDDING
Sasaki slowly woke up to the sound of cicadas coming from outside the open windows.
The gentle summer breeze tickled his face, inviting him to open his eyes.
The first thing he saw was a small hand, placed on his bare chest, right above his heart.
Miyano's hand.
His dearest friend, then lover and now husband.
His soul mate.
Sasaki smirked, staring at the golden band adorning Miyano's ring finger, the album of memories from the day before replaying on his mind like one of his favourite records.
Miyano's mom and Satoko congratulating them with tears in their eyes.
Miyano's dad giving him a heartfelt pat on the back.
His parents, both wearing a proud smile.
All their friends, radiating sincere joy, happy to be there and celebrate with them the most important day of their life.
And above all, Miyano.
Miyano's silhouette, looking surreal and downright breath-taking in a white tux.
Miyano's smile, wide and bright like never before when they held hands at the altar.
Miyano's eyes, shining with tears when they said "I do".
Miyano, Miyano, always Miyano.
How he felt under Sasaki's hands the night before, trembling and hot; how he tasted on his lips, sweet and addictive; how he sounded in his ears, out of breath and consumed by pleasure; how he looked, beautiful, ravishing, utterly perfect.
How many days and how many nights did he spend dreaming about that moment?
How many seconds he fantasized about a caress from Miyano, or even a kiss, a tender "I love you" whispered between closed doors in class.
The younger version of himself couldn't even begin to know to what extent his dreams would eventually come true.
Sometimes he was scared to dream at all, fearing the day everything would fall apart.
But now he was living a reality his teen self couldn't even picture, labelled as "impossible dream" and casted away in the recesses of his mind.
Sasaki turned his head to the side then, to take in the sight of the other man sleeping next to him.
His eyes scanned the dark, ruffled curls hiding his pretty eyes, his skin covered in angry, red love marks that perfectly matched the ones currently scattered all over his own body.
Just like that hypnotizing golden band perfectly matched the one on his own ring finger.
Sasaki covered the delicate hand on his chest with his left one and laced their fingers together, admiring how the rings glinted under the morning light.
Miyano woke up at the touch and smiled, happy to catch that moment.
"Hello husband" he whispered then, making the other set his eyes back on him immediately.
"Hello my Myaa-chan" Sasaki replied, rolled on his side and faced Miyano, keeping their hands intertwined.
They wasted no time in connecting their lips, still bruised from all the heated kisses exchanged the previous night.
Constantly craving each other, never satisfied, always in need for more.
Not even when they were finally married and legally belonging to one another, they always felt the urge to be even closer somehow.
"Shouldn't you stop calling me Myaa-chan by now?" Miyano suddenly asked while he entangled his legs with Sasaki's.
"Why?" Sasaki questioned back in shock.
"I mean...if I take your last name I wouldn't even be a Miyano anymore" the younger boy joked, kissing the tip of his husband's nose.
"Do you want to take my last name?" Sasaki leered at him with a playful smirk "Do you want to be Sasaki Yoshikazu?" he cooed, leaving gentle pecks all over Myaa-chan's face.
"I... like the sound of it" Miyano replied, soft whimpers and hums leaving his mouth at each press of the older's lips.
"Whatever you choose...Myaa-chan is still Myaa-chan for me. And always will be."
VII. TOGETHER WITH THEIR FAMILY
Sasaki inhaled deeply and slowly pried his eyes open. Some adorable giggles had reached him in his slumber; knowing exactly who they belonged to, he didn't want to waste another precious second sleeping.
Myaa-chan was already awake, laying on his side with his head resting on his arm and their now 10 years-old cat glued to his chest as usual.
He was absent-mindedly scratching Cookie's chin with his forefinger, the cat squinting his eyes back at him in appreciation; then he glanced towards the end of the bed where Mochi, their small white bunny, was running around in circles and having the time of his life.
Another muffled giggle escaped from Miyano's lips and Sasaki felt the need to squeeze him in his arms.
"God, you're so cute..." he croaked, catching Miyano's attention.
"Shuu, you're awake" the younger spoke softly "It's still early, you can sleep some more" he added, threading his fingers through Sasaki's ginger locks.
"Mhmm... I want to see you though." the other replied.
Miyano's cheeks visibly turned red and he chuckled "Good morning then."
"Mornin' Myaa-chan." Sasaki whispered, lifting one hand to caress his husband's cheek tenderly.
Miyano closed his eyes, relishing the warmth of the other's touch, then placed his own hand over Sasaki's and kissed his palm.
Sasaki groaned, the urge to get closer growing out of control.
"Cookie is in my place again..." he whined, making his husband laugh.
"You know he loves to sleep next to me. Nothing you can do about it anyway, someone else stole our covers this morning, right?" Miyano said in a playful tone, eyeing the small bump between them.
Sasaki instantly perked up at that. "Who is this someone who dares to hide in the bed with MY Myaa-chan?" he sing-songed, making whoever was hidden under the blankets squirm in delight.
"BOO!" Momo, their three-year-old daughter suddenly emerged from the covers, stealing genuine laughter from both men.
"Good morning Momo" Miyano said, tousling the little girl's unruly black curls.
"Good morning papa!" Momo reached forward to kiss Miyano's cheek, clutching in her tiny arms Penko-san, a penguin plush Sasaki had gifted Miyano when they were dating, that now belonged to their child.
"Hey, I want my kiss too" Sasaki teased, sitting on the bed and gently tickling the baby's sides.
The girl giggled and turned around to climb on Sasaki's lap, the older man diving his head forward to meet her halfway.
"Morning daddy!!" Momo greeted him, smooching both of Sasaki's cheeks.
"Morning baby, did you sleep well?" Sasaki asked, holding his daughter in his arms and planting obnoxious kisses all over her forehead.
"Yes!! I had a nice dream" the child stated.
"Oh yeah? Tell us more" Sasaki pleaded, hanging on his daughter's lips.
"I was running in a field and Cookie was there too. We were running together...and I had my blue dress on… and there were pretty flowers aaaaall around" The girl recalled in awe.
The cat flicked his tail in response, totally unamused.
"Cookie here doesn't seem very happy about it" Miyano said, scratching the pet's head.
"Because he's lazy and he doesn't like running" Sasaki playfully retorted.
"Someone else likes the idea though" Miyano added, pointing to the end of the bed.
"Mochi-chan!" Momo yelled, crawling closer to the white bunny, who hopped on her lap from excitement.
Sasaki sat there in silence, admiring the view; his lips stretched in a wide grin while he simped over his adorable daughter, his raison d'être, his biggest treasure with round peachy cheeks, sweet just like that drink he used to love.
Then his gaze shifted on Miyano, his soul mate, his sun, the centre of his world, and his heart felt full from happiness.
Miyano, sensing Sasaki's stare on him, turned his head towards his husband and smiled, his eyes glimmering just like any other time he glanced at Sasaki.
He gently held Sasaki's hand and kissed his knuckles, making the older man melt in return.
"Daddy, don't you think Mochi looks just like papa?" Momo suddenly took him out of his reverie.
"Oh yeah?" Sasaki snickered.
"I don't see the resemblance" Miyano mumbled, rolling his eyes.
"Cookie looks like daddy after all!" Momo continued, unbothered by his father's lack of enthusiasm.
"Let's see" Sasaki said "Mochi-chan, look at me".
As if on cue, the small bunny stood on two paws, sniffing the air; then he stared back at Sasaki with his round dark eyes and tilted his head in confusion, matching the same puzzled look on Miyano's face, an invisible question mark hanging above both their heads.
"PFFFFT, you're right Momo, they do look alike!" Sasaki cackled and pinched Miyano's cheek, who batted the offensive hand away.
"That's why Cookie loves him so much!" Momo concluded.
"Of course baby, a Sasaki always loves a Miyano no matter how he looks." Sasaki explained with a big smile on his face.
"Alright, alright. You two win. Now let's have breakfast. Momo, help me feed Mochi and Cookie." Miyano said, getting off the bed.
"Yes, papa!" Momo agreed, scurrying to the kitchen.
"Don't be late" Miyano added, leaning down to kiss his husband's temple.
"Hey" Sasaki suddenly called out, stopping Miyano's on his tracks, "I love you, Mochi-chan." he blurted out, with the same childish smile their daughter inherited.
Miyano sputtered, face red and at loss for words; then he sighed, defeated by his husband's unrelenting cheesiness. "I love you too, Cookie" he replied, covering his face with his hands.
Sasaki laughed from the bottom of his heart and jumped out of the bed; he circled his husband's waist with an arm then, leading him into the kitchen, and pulled him for a kiss along the way.
"Daddy, hurryyyy, Momo wants your pancakes" their little girl pleaded.
"Don't you know, my love? All good things come to those who can wait."