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Mikey’s not going to make it. He tried to tell himself that he could, through the last two miles of trudging through the deepening snow, but now it seems very unlikely. Ahead of him is only white, coming down in thick flakes, blowing in the wind, covering the back road and piling up in front of the stores that have been closed for hours, because it’s the middle of the night, and home is still so far away.
His fingers are numb where he’s still gripping the handlebars of his bike. Maybe he would have had a better chance if he had left it behind when it stopped running, but he couldn’t bear to do it. Not now. He couldn’t have just abandoned it.
It was his last gift to him.
Suddenly, he falls forward, the bike halting stubbornly before tipping over on its side like a horse that’s finally been exhausted. The snow has gotten too deep for him to push through it anymore. Everything is wet: his tan jacket, his boots, even his scarf is heavy and soaked, extra weight on his neck. The skin on his face is red and raw.
When Mikey tries to stand up, even without picking up the bike his muscles are spent. Two trudging steps forward have him stopping for breath, his throat stinging, lungs dry.
I fucked up, Shin. I really fucked up.
He’s on a bridge, and he stares ahead. Which way is he supposed to go on the other side? If he looks out over the water, all he sees are shades of white and gray.
Can ’t think. Can’t…
Mikey collapses. The snow is surprisingly comfortable underneath him, pillowy, and it would be like lying in the softest bed if not for how cold it is. He’s slowly being buried in it, and he thinks, maybe if he rests for just a second, he’ll feel better and he can get back up.
He lifts his head and looks forward.
One moment, there’s nothing but the swirling snowstorm, and then when the wind briefly stops blowing so hard, he sees something in the distance, on the other side of the bridge. Someone standing there, staring at him through the snow. Tall. A dark, thin shadow.
“Shin…?”
No. It could never be Shin.
Not unless Mikey’s—
He blinks. The form is gone, but there’s an animal there now, huge and low to the ground. Play dead. That should be easy enough. When Mikey closes his eyes he hears the massive form running towards him, on all fours, effortless with how huge it is, its bouncing gait storming through the snow. When it stops, it’s almost silent, and then a warm, wet, soft tongue is licking his face, sniffing noisily. Warm breath. So warm.
He can’t lift his head anymore but when he opens his eyes, bleary though they are, Mikey makes out a great golden head, and a mark across the side, swirling towards its ear.
Before he passes out, he manages to whisper a painful, quiet, “Kenchin…?”
***
“Oi, you’re in my spot, Kenchin.”
Mikey pushes the huge dog, trying to wedge himself between it and Shin, who is sitting on the floor of the garage working on his bike. Of course, the beast is too bulky and heavy to be movable, so it ’s Shin who ends up having to scoot over, laughing. “Okay, you two, take it easy.”
“He knows this is where I sit!”
Draken—that ’s what Shin calls him—makes a low noise that’s more of a grunt than a growl. For how large and intimidating he is with the solid muscle of his body, the dark intensity of his eyes, Mikey has never seen him be aggressive to anyone. Not even when Baji came running in and tackled Mikey once, knocking him to the floor, barreling into Draken when he fell off the couch. It had startled the hell out of Shin, but Draken had just gotten up and moved to the other side of the garage, giving Baji a tired, annoyed look.
At least that ’s what it seemed like to Mikey.
“Maybe he wants to learn how to maintain a bike too,” Shin says as he finishes adjusting the clutch. He straightens his back with a loud pop, and then ruffles Mikey’s hair before doing the same to Draken.
“When’s it going to be ready to ride?”
“Soon. I still have to check a few things with the engine.”
Mikey huffs, rolling his eyes. “Weren’t you supposed to give it to me for my birthday?”
Shin snorts as he takes out a pack of cigarettes and pulls one free with his lips, then removes the lighter from his pocket. The tip is bright when he takes a drag. It ’s summer now, and the only reason the garage is cool is because of the fan that Shin has set up to blow on them. “What? Did you want a bike you couldn’t ride yet?”
“You gave me a model. It’s not like I could ride that either!”
“Manjiro. I promise it’ll be all yours soon, okay? Just be patient.”
Draken slides down to lie on the floor, his head finding its way into Mikey ’s lap. He pets him while Shin smokes, watching the air cloud up with each breath. “Why don’t you bring Kenchin home? Grandpa has said he doesn’t care if we have a pet as long as we take care of it.”
“Because he’s not a pet.”
“He’s a dog, Shin.”
Draken’s dark eyes roll up toward him, face otherwise still. He doesn’t have what Mikey would classify as ‘puppy eyes;’ they don’t do that thing where his brows move, giving him a sort of needy, pleading expression. Instead it sounds like he sighs. “But he’s not a pet,” Shin reiterates. “So he wouldn’t be happy living in our house like one.”
“Fine, why does he hang around here with you if he’s not a pet?” Shin had taken care of Draken when he found him on the side of the road injured, he told Mikey that, but that had been months before.
Shin gets a little smirk and gives Draken’s nose a boop. “I don’t know, Draken, why do you hang around here so much?”
A little mrrrr comes up through Draken’s throat, but otherwise he ignores him. He knocks his head up into Mikey’s hand, insisting on more affection instead.
***
When Mikey wakes up, the first thing that registers is the smell that’s filling his nose. There are memories that come with that, gentle and nostalgic, rising from a blanket he’s under. Leather and cigarette smoke, a hint of metal. It’s dark, warm, quiet, but even without being able to see everything, he knows where he is.
Shin’s garage. Not at home, not where Mikey’s taken over the space like a mouse infiltrating a pantry. It’s his shop, on the couch that he recalls helping him rescue the night before a trash day. It was practically new, taken from one of the nice neighborhoods when someone was moving out, not torn up and saggy in places like the one across from it, that Shin refused to get rid of.
As Mikey’s eyes adjust, he realizes that the only light is coming from a small electric lantern.
There’s someone sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing away from him, his bike upright in front of them. They’re wiping it dry with a dirty towel, the spot on the floor under it dark with melted snow.
But is it really someone? Because someone, a person, wouldn’t have long ears, the strands of fur visible in the shadow they cast. A person wouldn’t have a tail that’s sweeping slowly back and forth on the floor, under a black and white cardigan, long blond hair falling at the shoulders. And then, the head turns, and, no, it’s not a person, because no human has a snout, a muzzle, and two shining eyes.
Mikey doesn’t move.
“You okay?” a voice asks. It takes a moment for him to realize it’s coming from the creature in front of him. The wolf, a part of his brain supplies (the part that is probably already dead in the snow, he’s sure of it now, he’s still out there, this is a hallucination—).
“No.”
“Mikey.” It sighs at him, and then turns, crawling toward the couch. In the light cast by the lantern, the wolf seems even more massive, and Mikey’s body shoots to sitting, backing up as far as he can go. His muscles sing painfully, and it’s the only thing that keeps him from jumping over the back of the couch. “Mikey. Relax.”
“What happened? I’m dead. I’m already dead, aren’t I?”
“No—”
“This can’t be real. This can’t be happening—!”
When the creature reaches out to put its hands on the couch—not really hands, no, they’re too hairy, and they end in claws, those are not hands—Mikey’s body moves on instinct, and he cocks back a fist and lets it go. It’s hard to say if he’s slow or if it’s fast, because it catches his wrist, and as he struggles to pull back, something starts happening.
The face changes.
No, not just the face. The whole body. It’s getting smaller, more limb than muscle, and the hand holding him turns soft and smooth. The blond hair falls over a serious face, a strong jaw and nose that appear when the snout flattens away. And then he sees it, on the man’s head, swirling by his ear, which is still furry and plush. A black mark that looks like a dragon.
He hadn’t been able to see it before, because he wasn’t trying to find it on the wolf’s head, but—
“Kenchin?”
The smile that curves on his lips—Draken’s lips—holds a touch of sadness, of regret. He lets go of Mikey’s wrist but doesn’t move from where he’s kneeling in front of the couch. “Yeah, Mikey. It’s me.”
The garage is so still that the hum of the lantern’s battery seems almost loud. “I…I don’t…what are you?!” The initial shock is turning icy in his veins, and somehow it’s knowing that he is alive, that this is real, it’s making him mad. He’s not sure why. He feels so stupid, and all the unanswered questions are feeding the feeling. “Have you always been…some guy?!”
“What do you mean, some guy?!” Draken’s energy rises, matching his. “Do I look like some guy to you?!”
“Now you do!” A small sound catches Mikey’s attention, and he notices that the tail is still there too, behind Draken, and it’s thudding on the floor irritably. “Mostly!”
“For fuck’s sake—”
“Did Shin know?” The accusation comes out hotter than he intended, with spite. “Did he know you were…did he have any idea what was shacking up here with him?”
“Mikey.” The way Draken says his name is a guttural growl, face stormy. He would swear he still has wolf teeth that are shining in the light as his lips pull back. “Shin knew what I was. And he was fine with me being here anyway.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t he tell me?” When Mikey asks the question, the words catch, hooked by a string that goes to his heart. This feels like some kind of mean joke, some kind of prank that Shin concocted. He imagines him jumping out from behind the box of bike parts in the corner and laughing at him. It was all a setup for this moment, he’d say, to see the look on his face. All of it: the snow, the bike…
The accident.
“We were going to tell you together.”
Mikey raises his chin, and the expression on Draken’s face has turned lost.
“Shin and I were going to tell you at Christmas. I was going to come to your place, and…we were going to surprise you.”
“It’s the twenty-fourth.” And Shin’s been gone since November twenty-eighth. It feels like no time has passed, but also a century has passed, but also it’s only been five minutes since he was right here. Since they were all together here.
“Yeah.” Draken’s body sags to the floor, like he’s tired, like he’s giving up. “I was out there walking because I was thinking about if I should…”
“What?”
Draken drags his long fingers through his hair. When he breathes out his nose, it’s exactly like when he’s seen him lying around the garage, making Mikey think of all the times he’d be in the corner or next to Shin or beside him on this couch with his head pressed against his leg. God, that thought makes his face feel hot now…though surprisingly not in anger.
“I still wanted you to know because…I didn’t need to stay here as much as I did, Mikey. It wasn’t because of Shin.”
Mikey’s lungs ache. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath.
“I just kept wanting to see you.”
It’s only a few seconds but it feels like forever, because Mikey doesn’t know what to say. It doesn’t matter though, because there’s a sound of something sliding above them, on the roof. They both jump and look up, and the noise moves until they watch a pile of snow slide off and past the window to the ground. Mikey hadn’t even noticed before but the snow is still coming down outside, though not as hard as it was before. There’s ambient light from the street beyond reflecting on the sea of white covering everything, giving it a smooth, cake-icing finish. Even whatever tracks Draken left are but soft dimples in the powder outside.
“Did you carry me all the way here? And the bike too?”
Draken nods. “I’m pretty strong when I’m…big like that. And it’s not like there was anyone out to see me.”
“Thank you.” He should have said that first. “I don’t know what would have happened—”
“Yeah, dumbass, what were you thinking going out in this?” Draken’s voice isn’t loud like it was before but Mikey can see the lantern light in his narrowed dark eyes. “Even before you ran out of gas, which was stupid too, you should have known it wasn’t a good idea to go for a ride in weather like this.”
“We were supposed to go out tonight.”
Draken stops, and the tension in his body leaves him. No doubt he knows what Mikey is saying without him explaining.
He can still remember Shin’s smile. “We’ll go out together and try out your Christmas present. You and me, okay?”
He looks outside again, and then realizes he doesn’t even know what time it is. “God, Grandpa is going to be pissed.”
“Don’t worry about it. I texted Emma with your phone.”
“How did you get into my phone?! Did you see me log in?!” It’s sitting on the arm of the couch, and he grabs it, putting the passcode in before seeing the text on the screen. ‘Stuck in storm—staying with baji. home tomorrow.’
And then, Emma’s response: ‘Grandpa is getting KFC for lunch so if ur late im eating urs lol’
Draken laughs. “What? It’s not like you were hiding it.”
“At the time I thought you were just a dumb dog!” Now what is he supposed to do? He’ll never trust another pet again…
“You sound disappointed that I’m not!” Draken’s voice drops a little bit, more serious. “Are you disappointed?”
“What?”
“Because I don’t fucking care, but…” Mikey sees Draken’s eyes dart away toward the floor, and did his ears just droop a bit? What a liar. Of course he cares. “It would just suck if you didn’t like me now because I’m not actually a dog.”
“I’m not disappointed!” It’s a surprise even to Mikey how loudly he says it. Now it’s his turn to get quiet. “If anything, I’m relieved, because when I came back to look for you…you weren’t here.”
Mikey hadn’t been able to come back to the shop right away—it was too hard, when he knew he’d never see Shin there again. And he hadn’t been too worried about Draken because Shin always assured him that Draken had a place to go, that he didn’t live there. “When I go home, he goes home too.”
But when he got there and the garage was cold and empty, everything untouched, in the same place it had been before the accident…
“When I couldn’t find you, it felt like I lost both of you.”
Draken stands up, and Mikey lifts his head, following the movement of his body. He’s really tall. Maybe the tallest person he’s ever seen, even if he didn’t have the ears. When Draken sits next to him on the couch, the soft fur of his tail brushes over his fingers, and Mikey lets him wrap his arms around him. He’s so warm, and he smells exactly the same as he always has: like the world outside, like playing under the sun, baking in its light.
“I’m sorry, Mikey. For…everything.” His face is resting in his hair, and Mikey can feel him speak. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“You said you kept wanting to see me…”
“Yeah.”
“Because you like me?”
Draken’s head moves, and his smooth cheek brushes Mikey’s forehead so briefly that Mikey misses it when it’s gone. “Yeah. A lot.”
A lot. Mikey holds onto Draken’s cardigan. The blanket falls away a bit, and he realizes how cold it is, because there’s no power. He curls in close to him, as he remembers a couple of weeks before Shin died, and he had come into the garage wet with autumn rain. Shin wasn’t there, but Draken was. Mikey had taken off his coat and stolen Shin’s off the back of the couch, and when he sat down, Draken hopped up. Before he knew it, he was stretched across Mikey’s lap, putting the heat of his body on his legs and stomach. “Thanks, Kenchin,” he had said, and Draken had raised his head then and licked his face.
Come to think of it, that hadn’t been the only time he licked his face…
“Oi, Kenchin.”
“What?”
“You’ve been kissing me this whole time.”
Draken stiffens, and when he tries to pull back, Mikey holds on tight. “Mikey…!”
“You just said you liked me, but you kissed me before you even confessed! That’s backwards!”
“That didn’t count!”
“Of course it did!” Mikey pushes off the couch, putting his weight on Draken until he flops over and he’s on top of him. “It totally counted!”
“Let go!” Draken smirks, struggling under him. “Mikey!”
Just like that, they’re wrestling, Draken pushing up and rolling over Mikey, breaking out of the hold he still has him in and grabbing his sides. When he realizes Mikey is ticklish, he gets a shiny grin and assaults him even more, until they’re both laughing, and then Draken is lying next to him, holding him as they both calm down. It’s not a big couch, but it’s enough for them both to fit…especially with them close like this.
Mikey can’t make out the details of Draken’s face in the dark, but he can tell when he moves close, and he can feel when his lips touch his. They’re soft, and the kiss is sweet and slow. He kisses Mikey carefully, like there are still sharp teeth that could cut him if he does it too hard. He kisses him like this is the one that should matter, the first proper kiss.
“I like you too, Kenchin…”
When Mikey falls asleep then, it’s to deep, rhythmic breaths, a thundering heartbeat. Draken holds him all night, keeping him warm, keeping him safe. Mikey dreams of days to come when he’ll get to know him for who he really is.
And, in passing, he’s grateful to Shin, because the bike wasn’t his last gift after all.