Archive of Our Own

15^th August, 2015
Wedding Belles

Hello, everyone. Sorry it’s been such a long time. Life’s been really busy, truth be told, and I haven’t had as much time to update you all as I thought I would. It doesn’t help that Sherlock decided to conduct a series of experiments on the battery of my laptop. It still smells a bit like petrol when I turn it on. I’m not sure this is as normal as Sherlock is trying to tell me.

Anyway, the big news you’ve all been waiting for, of course, is Mycroft and Lestrade’s wedding. I don’t really know how much detail I’m allowed to go into here. I think they want to keep most of it private, which is fair enough. I don’t think I’d want my wedding day described in intimate detail on the internet. I’m a bit worried that, what with Mycroft’s job as a minor government official – MH it might be dangerous to post too much.

What I can tell you is that they got married on August 9^th, as planned.

Well, almost as planned.

The cake was three tiers too small, two thousand calories too many and four shades of blue too pale. Despite his lack of invitation, a Japanese dignitary showed up with an entourage of sixteen reality TV stars. Anthea’s Blackberry had to be reset to its factory settings. As best man, it fell down to me to try and sort this mess out. Needless to say, I’m now banned from Japan (I shall see what I can do – MH) and now know six members of the Blackberry customer support team on a first name basis.

I can also tell you that Sherlock, convinced he knew a shortcut to the venue, managed to arrive two hours late. It’s a good thing Greg didn’t cave in and make him best man. That would have been a disaster. Anyway, Sherlock apparently managed to get lost somewhere around Covent Garden. He turned up with his shirt covered in grass stains and his trousers coated in mud. To this day, I don’t know what he was doing. I don’t want to know, either. If any of you ever find out, please don’t tell me. But yes, the wedding. Mycroft obviously wasn’t best pleased (an understatement – MH) that his own brother missed the exchange of vows – the vows were wonderful, by the way. I’ve never heard so many thinly Red Dwarf references in so few sentences. ‘I felt like a total smeg-head before I met you’. Really? – and as such, Sherlock was banned from appearing in any of the wedding photographs. I think the plan is to Photoshop him in at a later date. He seems surprisingly blasé about it all. I think he knows something we don’t.

Anyway, all that’s really left to say about the wedding is that it was a lovely service. Thanks everyone for coming, apart from those of you who weren’t invited but came anyway. That’s called wedding crashing, you know. There’s a film about it and everything. It’s crap, though. Don’t watch it. I’m sure we’d all like to extend our best wishes to the happy couple. Greg and Mycroft, congratulations. I hope you spend many more happy years together, and I hope Sherlock eventually tells you where he hid your wedding presents or he will find the photograph on his passport altered significantly - MH.

77 comments

You know I’ll never tell.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 14:01

it sounds like it was a really nice service :) i bet mycroft and greg looked so dapper in their suits, haha! i’m sorry i couldn’t come by the way but i have a new cat, snuggles, and she kept being sick :( congratulations you two xxxxx
Molly Hooper, August 15^th, 14:05

Thank you, John. I hope you don’t mind but I was forced to edit some portions of this blog entry. However, I do appreciate the sentiment.
Mycroft Holmes, August 15^th, 14:08

I always forget you can do that! Congratulations again!
John Watson, August 15^th, 14:16

How saccharine. Mycroft, if you are responsible for the armed guard at my bedroom door, you will simply have to try harder. I will not yield the location of your gifts. Hardly any of them are edible, anyway. You wouldn’t be interested.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 14:30

They’re my presents too, you know! I think there’s a toaster. Come on, Sherlock, I don’t like bread
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 14:39

Nice username, boss.
Anderson, August 15^th, 14:47

Thanks, Sally.
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 14:51

Are there pictures of this ceremony???? For only private use that implies happiness of newly wedded couple, not for blackmailing purposes of important government man!!! please reply!!! many thank and congratulations!!
John Smith, August 15^th, 14:59

E-mail me, John Smith, and we’ll see what we can do.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 15:06

Good luck, Sherlock. You may find it difficult now that your IP address has been blocked from every e-mail service.
Mycroft Holmes, August 15^th, 15:11

I give your marriage three years.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 15:14

Boys, be nice! This is a post about a very happy occasion. Sherlock, do give your brother his presents, I made him a lovely Victoria sponge and it just won’t keep much longer. This is Mrs Hudson by the way.
Marie Turner, August 15^th, 15:31

I shall not yield.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 15:42

You bloody will, Sherlock. There’s a funny smell coming from under your bed.
John Watson, August 15^th, 15:51

Et tu, Brutus? Or do you go by ‘Judas’ these days?
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 15:54

Neither. I just prefer being in possession of all my limbs.
John Watson, August 15^th, 16:02

Aw, look at you both flirting. How sweet.
Anonymous, August 15^th, 16:05

Sherlock is sulking, not flirting.
John Watson, August 15^th, 16:18

Thank you, John. Anthea will be round in fifteen minutes to collect what belongs to me.
Mycroft Holmes, August 15^th, 16:22

And I’ll be round in five, oh husband of mine!
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 16:25

I may vomit. Well, I do owe you a wedding present.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 16:27

Several, actually.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 16:29

Would you like me to make you Iranian again, brother dear? The passport office was so cross with you last time.
Mycroft Holmes, August 15^th, 16:30

Have picked up all the presents, sir. Bringing them back to you now.
Anthea?, August 15^th, 16:35

All of them? You should have let me supervise! One of those boxes was mine!
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 16:38

My apologies. Which one? I shall return it immediately with a fruit basket.
Anthea?, August 15^th, 16:41

The little blue one. Do hurry.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 16:45

Where are you?!
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 16:59

I came across John on his way back from the clinic while I was on my way to your flat. I gave it to him instead.
Anthea?, August 15^th, 17:02

You gave it to him? When I told you to give it to me? And the country relies on you? It’s a wonder we’re not at war with Luxembourg, really.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 17:04

ALL THOSE AT SCOTLAND YARD – COME TO THE BREAK ROOM
Sally Donovan, August 15^th, 17:05

That’s uncalled for, Sherlock. It was convenient, that’s all. Anthea has more important things to do than ferry boxes around London for you
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 17:09

Yes, thank you for your input, Lestrade. You don’t know what you’ve done.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 17:11

I can’t wait to find out...
Sally Donovan, August 15^th, 17:14

Sherlock
John Watson, August 15^th, 17:17

Is this
John Watson, August 15^th, 17:17

Why is there a ring in this box
John Watson, August 15^th, 17:17

Hands up if you saw that coming!
Anderson, August 15^th, 17:19

OH MY GOD
Harry Watson, August 15^th, 17:21

John, if you need me to explain that to you, then you are not the man I thought you were and I would like the ring back.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 17:24

You want it back?
John Watson, August 15^th, 17:28

Oh, for... John Watson, you are an infuriating man. This is not quite how I envisaged this scenario, but as you are not here and my plan has evidently been uncovered by the government’s least competent trophy girl, I shall make do. Would you enter into a civil union with me?
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 17:31

Oh my God, Sherlock, you really should have watched some romantic comedies beforehand because that is the worst proposal I have ever heard. Seen. Read. Whatever. Good luck, John. You’ve got a true romantic there.
Sally Donovan, August 15^th, 17:34

Shut up, Sally
John Watson, August 15^th, 17:39

Shutting up, sorry.
Anderson, August 15^th, 17:40

oh my god congratulations you two!! this is such a happy post, a wedding and an engagement!! even snuggles is smiling :) xxxx
Molly Hooper, August 15^th, 17:43

He hasn’t said yes yet
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 17:45

No, he hasn’t.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 17:46

I’m so sorry. I’ll arrange for a box of chocolates to be sent to you immediately.
Anthea?, August 15^th, 17:53

JOHN WATSON you had better answer that man!!!!
Harry Watson, August 15^th, 17:59

The suspense is killing me
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 18:06

How do you think Sherlock feels?
Anonymous, August 15^th, 18:09

I can assure you that I am coping.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 18:10

This is going to end up on Reddit, isn’t it?
Sally Donovan, August 15^th, 18:18

I can assure you it will not.
Mycroft Holmes, August 15^th, 18:20

Any updates????
Anderson, August 15^th, 18:49

They’re killing each other. Oh my God. I’m going to go into work tomorrow and face the bloodiest crime scene I’ve ever seen
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 18:58

There will be blood
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 19:04

And guts and eyeballs and limbs and a discarded engagement ring in a pool of intestinal fluid
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 19:07

Perhaps you should come away from the computer, Gregory. Antiques Roadshow is on.
Mycroft Holmes, August 15^th, 19:11

Fuck Antiques Roadshow, this is better than Eastenders!
Sally Donovan, August 15^th, 19:18

Has anyone here seen Fatal Attraction?
Sally Donovan, August 15^th, 19:20

I am not taking your surname.
John Watson, August 15^th, 19:39

oh my goodness i am so happy!!!
Molly Hooper, August 15^th, 19:41

Here we go again.
Sally Donovan, August 15^th, 19:43

Congratulations, dear brother. I assume I will be best man?
Mycroft Holmes, August 15^th, 19:44

No.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 19:45

Boys I am so pleased for you both!! It’s about time you made honest men of each other you know, all that racket and no ring, it’s not proper. I’ll make a cake. It’s Mrs Hudson in case you didn’t know!
Marie Turner, August 15^th, 19:47

I can exhale at last
Lestrade-Holmes, August 15^th, 19:47

The next blog entry should be interesting.
Anonymous, August 15^th, 19:48

yees it proababynwi ll be oh shelkck olk
John Watson, August 15^th, 19:51

I’ll send a bouquet.
Anthea?, August 15^th, 19:52

noooo send codnoms
John Watson, August 15^th, 19:54

I don’t think fish food is appropriate for this particular event, John.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 19:55

stop typign ok
John Watson, August 15^th, 19:56

With pleasure.
Sherlock Holmes, August 15^th, 19:57

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