Work Text:
8th August, 2015
HEN PARTY
i shoudnt be bloging hahahhah
im realy not drunkk thoughue i mean yes it iss mycroft sstag arpty bt i have noyl had ten glaseses o fdry wite whine
sherlok saidd somethingg so funy he said it wass a hen partay not a sta gparty becus my croft is a GRIL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAaa
ooh wine
58 comments
does this mean that the wedding is tomorrow? i thought that the invitations said 12th September xx
Molly Hooper, August 8th, 20:03
Yeah, the invitation I got said September, too. Is this basically just a pre-wedding piss-up masquerading as a stag do?
Sally Donovan, August 8th, 20:07
nono shrelock did the invivntatons and he probly thoght it woud be funy t oput the wrnog dat wat an idot!!!!! i wiol tel him offff os much
John Watson, August 8th, 20:11
If anyone out there is reading this, send help. I repeat, send help. We require tea, biscuits and wet towels.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 20:29
Blimey mate, what the hell lol. Where did you go, the nearest speak-easy??
Bill Murray, August 8th, 20:34
We have not actually left my home yet. I must admit that overall this is a rather unimpressive turn of events.
Mycroft Holmes, August 8th, 20:36
your stil at bukingham palace????? WOW HEELLO QWUEN
Harry Watson, August 8th, 20:41
Contrary to popular belief, Mycroft is not actually the Queen. The use of the indefinite article is necessary for accuracy in this case.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 20:42
Two drunk Watsons? This must be Christmas.
Anonymous, August 8th, 20:43
I can assure you that it’s more like Armageddon.
Mycroft Holmes, August 8th, 20:46
Are you there, boss? It’s your stag do too, I presume. How did you manage to get John so drunk? I need to write this down for future interrogations.
Sally Donovan, August 8th, 20:51
I’m here, yes, but I’m contemplating going elsewhere, possibly an early grave
Lestrade, August 8th, 20:53
That bad?
Anderson, August 8th, 20:55
That was Sally. Damn computer. I’m not at Anderson’s, obviously.
Anderson, August 8th, 20:56
I’M at Andersons. i’m Anderson
Sally Donovan, August 8th, 20:57
Bloody hell, Anderson.
Anderson, August 8th, 20:58
I don’t think any of us really knows how he managed to become as pissed as a fart, to be honest! He’s wasted though
Lestrade, August 8th, 21:01
Hello dears, I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but have you asked Sherlock? Where there’s mischief around, he normally knows where it’s come from, and not always because he’s such a good detective. This is Mrs Hudson by the way, hello everyone! Thank you for the fruitcake, Mr Holmes. I’d rather your pet rabbit hadn’t eaten my curtains in the first place but I still appreciated it. This is still Mrs Hudson.
Marie Turner, August 8th, 21:04
OGH YM GOD TEH ROOM IS SPINNINING!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAA
John Watson, August 8th, 21:07
I’m hurt, Mrs Hudson. Hurt and betrayed. Why would you even suggest such a thing? I had nothing to do with this appalling debacle. I can assure you that if I had I would have had the foresight to bring along a video camera. By the way, it wasn’t Mycroft who sent you the fruitcake. It was Anthea. It hardly took a great deductive leap to solve that one; the cake hadn’t been half devoured, and thus Mycroft clearly hadn’t been near it. Enjoy your last slice.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 21:10
Your biting wit is scintillating to behold as always, dear brother. Now, perhaps you could come upstairs and remove your boyfriend from my ankle?
Mycroft Holmes, August 8th, 21:12
I could, but isn’t that what Lestrade is for?
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 21:13
John is currently naked. I did not feel that Gregory needed to bear witness to such a fact.
Mycroft Holmes, August 8th, 21:14
I shall be there in a few moments. Do try and refrain from filing official documentation ordering his immediate evacuation from the premises, won’t you?
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 21:15
Watching you two fight is like watching a dictionary beat up a thesaurus
Lestrade, August 8th, 21:17
And why is John naked??!!
Lestrade, August 8th, 21:20
Honestly, I go downstairs for ten minutes to get a glass of water and all holy hell breaks loose upstairs
Lestrade, August 8th, 21:22
im braking freee frmo thea capitalaist reegme of cloting
John Watson, August 8th, 21:25
Someone confiscate his phone, please! It’s painful to read.
Sally Donovan, August 8th, 21:27
And yet you keep reading.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 21:31
Eastenders was cancelled tonight, freak. Some of us like to be entertained and staring at a wall in an attempt to deduce the exact shade of Coral Canyon paint that was used just doesn’t cut it for us normal folk.
Sally Donovan, August 8th, 21:34
Ah, I see.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 21:36
See what, freak?
Sally Donovan, August 8th, 21:37
Mrs Anderson has discovered your rather disturbing dalliance with the lovely Mr Anderson and has subsequently kicked her husband out onto the cold streets of London. You have agreed to allow your poultry-faced lover to move in with you for a short time. However, you are currently renovating your home, a fact which caused Anderson to believe that his residence would be permanent. Subsequently, he purchased several tins of paint of his choosing; Coral Canyon #5. Good luck, Sally. You’ll need luck as well as a good supply of toilet bleach; Anderson is lactose intolerant yet inordinately fond of chocolate milk.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 21:40
Bite me.
Sally Donovan, August 8th, 21:41
That’s what Anderson is for.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 21:42
Girls, girls, play nicely and come and help me sober John up
Lestrade, August 8th, 21:45
He’s being sick in Mycroft’s desk
Lestrade, August 8th, 21:47
I think he’s just vomited all over a nuclear attack request though so perhaps we have John’s weak stomach to thank for world peace
Lestrade, August 8th, 21:50
Sir, don’t worry; that documentation has been scanned and copied and sent to all appropriate parties. I should mention that it was scanned before John’s unfortunate display of technicolour yawning and thus we should avoid future conflicts with the nations involved.
Anthea?, August 8th, 21:52
Also, Ms Donovan, allow me to send you a box of chocolate soya milk, or at least a large quantity of extra strong bleach.
Anthea?, August 8th, 21:55
I don’t like how this is my stag party
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:12
Or my life
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:15
hahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaa sheloc is tkaing me hoem loks like i got lukcy!!!!!1
John Watson, August 8th, 22:21
Gregory, as our big day is tomorrow, I must insist you get some rest.
Mycroft Holmes, August 8th, 22:25
But sick won’t clean itself up
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:30
Imagine if it did
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:31
Anthea would be out of a job
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:33
I assure you I would not, Detective Inspector.
Anthea?, August 8th, 22:34
Gregory, must I be forced to break with tradition and coerce you into sleeping?
Mycroft Holmes, August 8th, 22:39
Noooo, not at all. That would be breaking with a very important tradition and I know how much you like tradition
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:41
I should probably mention though that I’m actually in your bed right now, devoid of all clothing bar my bow tie
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:43
Although I should probably take that off; don’t want it to get dirty before the big day
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:45
Allow me to assist.
Mycroft Holmes, August 8th, 22:46
Thankfully, I have managed to pick-pocket a drunken John. I am therefore closing comments on this blog for the sake of both my sanity and the good of the British public. I shall look forward to seeing those of you who are invited tomorrow at my brother’s nuptials.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 22:51
donnt closee te coments nooooooooo ok y oar lokin at mee in a scarey wy you can cooelse them
John Watson, August 8th, 22:52
Yes pelaese close them ooh mycrofttt
Lestrade, August 8th, 22:54
I hope neither of you is planning on wearing white tomorrow.
Sherlock Holmes, August 8th, 22:55
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