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A car accident. That's what Takeda-sensei says when he learns why Hinata never showed up to school this morning and tells the members of the volleyball team this terrible news. Apparently, on his way back from practice last night, Hinata's bike got hit by a car.
And when Kageyama learns this news, he doesn't know what to do. He clenches his hands into shaky fists as the team sit on the gymnasium floor, everyone reacting differently to the terrible news.
"Why didn't you tell us this earlier?" Daichi asks Takeda-sensei as Nishinoya and Tanaka cling to each other and cry, because those two always have to be the centre of attention even when they're upset.
"I only found out at lunchtime," Takeda-sensei says, his voice weak and his shoulders slumped. "And I knew you'd all just skip school if I told you then, so... I thought I'd wait until now. Sorry for keeping it from you."
"It makes sense," Suga says, but he trembles, his eyes too bright.
"Is he going to be okay?" Yachi asks, scrubbing tears from her eyes (Kiyoko puts her arm around her kouhai, her own eyes watery behind her glasses).
"His mother didn't give me all the details," Takeda-sensei says, "but she said he's stable."
"Please let him be okay," Yamaguchi whispers, leaning his head against Tsukishima's shoulder (who, to Kageyama's surprise, lets Yamaguchi do that).
Kageyama bites his lip, nausea starting to twist in his stomach. He thinks about last night, when he and Hinata fought in this very room. The last time they saw each other, Kageyama was throwing him around the room as Yachi-san begged them to stop. And then Hinata ran out of the gym... and now he's in the hospital. What if Hinata dies? He'll never get to say goodbye. Hinata will die remembering Kageyama being cruel and violent. Hinata will die hating him.
When his cheeks feel damp, Kageyama gasps in shock. He touches his face, still stunned to find tears leaking from his eyes.
"Kageyama?" Asahi says, and Kageyama flinches when a gentle hand touches his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Asahi's words get everyone's attention, and before he knows it, Kageyama finds the whole team staring at him. His face burns as he ducks his head, swiping tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand. But the tears just keep falling. He's pathetic.
He's on his feet before he realises he does it, scrabbling out of the gym without stopping to put on his outdoor shoes. Kageyama runs aimlessly, just needing to get away from the team. He doesn't want their pity. He doesn't deserve their pity.
His feet lead him to some trees on the far edge of the campus, beside the currently unused soccer pitch. Kageyama's head is too full of emotions to think logically, explaining why he hunches up behind a tree, hugging his knees to his chest. And with nobody around to watch him, Kageyama lets himself cry.
A sob bursts out of him, tears streaming down his cheeks. Kageyama keeps thinking about Hinata, how angry and upset he was after their fight. He probably wasn't thinking straight when he cycled home because of their fight, and Kageyama fears Hinata didn't ride safely because he was upset. What if he rode dangerously, and that's why he got struck by a car?
Was Hinata's car accident Kageyama's fault?
He cries harder, burying his face in his knees as he rocks himself on the spot.
It must be his fault. Hinata rides home in the dark every day, yet he never got injured until yesterday, when Kageyama made him upset and furious right before his journey home. Kageyama's chest aches like something stabbed him through the heart. It was his fault. He hurt Hinata.
"It's all my fault..." Kageyama whispers to himself, the words becoming a mantra as he rocks himself back and forth. "It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all my fault."
The team are going to hate him. If Hinata wakes up, he'll hate him too.
Kageyama ruined everything.