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(Leo’s perspective)
It was a normal, regular, battle with Hypno- as usual. The typical magic tricks, mind bending illusions. Yah know, standard fighting stuff.
Of course, that's where it all went to shit.
One moment, Leo was wandering around this endless brightly-colored maze where he ran into Donnie and Mikey.
First thought he had:
“Where’s Raph?”
The 2 just shrugged, but it was clear from their faces they were worried.
They all got their answer, though, as they heard an ear-bleeding roar erupt from far away. The 3 of them looked at each other, all knowing that sound.
Raph was in trouble.
Thinking quickly, Leo made a portal to where he guessed Raph could be. Donnie and Mikey jumped in after him, all landing in a different room. There was a hulking, 7 foot tall figure just a few feet away
“Raph!” Mikey shouted in relief, running up to his older brother.
Leo sensed there was something wrong… Raph didn’t react when his brothers had gotten here. He didn’t turn to greet Mikey as he shouted his name.
This wasn’t right.
“Mikey-!” he tried to warn, but it was too late. Mikey had already reached him, going in for a hug, when he was hit.
Mikey flew back, crashing into the floor as Raph turned around, his eyes pure white, a snarl painted across his face.
They all stared at him. No one knew what to do.
“Raph-” Donnie attempted to speak, before getting cut off. Hypno’s face appeared all around them, laughing almost maniacally.
“You’ve fought me well enough, so let's see how you fight your own brother!” ugh, Leo hated that annoying British accent.
None of the brothers knew what to do. C’mon Leo- you're the plan guy! You have to come up with something-
His thinking was cut off as he heard the yells of his 2 siblings and the sudden force that hit his plastron- if his shell didn’t crack at that moment it probably did when he slammed against one of the neon-patterned walls.
Raph wasn’t done with him though. He charged after Leo- getting stopped by Donnie who jumped onto his shoulders and was holding his tech-bo to Raphs neck.
Leo struggled to stand up, the wind knocked out of him as Donnie struggled to ight against Raph- getting thrown off him and was thrown harshly to the ground.
Mikey tried using his kusari-fundo to get Raph off of Donnie, but he ended up getting swung straight into Leo.
He felt his head crash into the wall again, his eyes blurred for a moment. Mikey slowly stood and checked on Leo as soon as he could.
Leo couldn’t hear what he was saying, the ringing in his ears being too loud. But he could see it once he felt the back of his head, pulling his hand back in front of him.
Blood.
That wasn’t good.
The ringing stopped, he could hear Mikey hurriedly tell Donnie what was going on as he was running from Raph.
Everything after that was a blur.
All he remembered was Hypno looking beaten, and disappearing.
He didn’t recall when they got back to the lair, or what anyone was saying. But he did know they were hurt.
He only realized how much once he awoke on a cot in the designated medbay.
Ouch, his head hurt. A concussion probably.
There were stitches on his arm, almost 50 Leo thought. His ankle was definitely sprained, and surprisingly his shell was a-ok. Well, it ached a little, but it wasn’t bad. His head felt a lot worse anyway.
His brothers weren’t anywhere in the infirmary, so that was good. That meant they weren’t hurt too bad.
Leo swung his legs over the bed, trying to stand. Luckily enough, there was a set of crutches placed right next to the cot.
Using those, he limped over the lair, hearing Donnie and Mikey in the kitchen
“Heyy brothers! You all feeling ok?” He asked as he entered the room
Donnie sighed
“We’re all fine. You got it the worst. Mikey dislocated his shoulder, but that's really it.”
Mikey jumped in,
“Are you feeling alright Leo? You got hurt pretty bad.”
“Never been better, Micheal. My head just hurts a little.”
Leo looked around the kitchen, noticing something missing
“... Where’s Raph? Is he ok?”
Mikey and Donnie glanced at each other
“He’s Fine… Mostly” Donnie answered
“He broke his arm.” Mikey added
“He did?! Why wasn’t he with me?”
Mikey held the mug in his hand tighter
“We tried to get Raph to stay there but… He refused. He’s in his room right now…”
Well, that settles it. Leo knows exactly where he’s going now.
“I’d be careful.” Donnie said to Leo as he was about to exit the door “Raph locked his door. We already tried talking to him.”
“Well, I'm sure he’ll talk to me.” Leo declared, leaving before Donnie could say any snarky comments or whatnot.
It took a moment, but he eventually reached Raphs door. He knocked loudly
“Oh big brother! It’s your favorite sibling, Leo!”
No response. Not even a sarcastic comment.
“... Ok, well. If you don’t unlock this door so I can check on you I will get Donnie to lockpick it. Seriously.”
Again, nothing. But Leo knew Raph wasn’t asleep or anything. He could hear the shuffling of his bed.
“Well fine. If you don’t want to talk I'll go see what Mikey has to say- and I’m coming back with Donnie” he stated, turning around to go find Mikey.
He needed to know what happened.
_____________
Raph seriously messed up. Bad. Super mega bad.
It was supposed to be a regular easy fight with Hypno- but of course it wasn’t that simple. No, he just had to get hypnotized
He couldn't remember anything he was doing while under Hypno’s control- but it was obvious once he came back to reality.
Leo layed on the floor. Bleeding.
Mikey had several cuts and scrapes. Currently trying to make a splint for Raph.
Donnie looked the least hurt, a few bruises maybe. He was checking Leo.
And Raph knew immediately whose fault it was.
How could he?
How could he.
Raph- he hurt his brothers. He injured them. What kind of leader was he?
He hurt them
He hurt them
He. Hurt. Them.
Raph was a monster. Plain and simple.
It was his fault Leo got a concussion. His that Mikey got scratched. His that Donnie was bruised. All his.
He couldn’t face his brothers after that. He didn’t deserve it. Instead, he locked himself in his room. Raph hated being alone. But he deserved it. At least that way, his brothers wouldn’t have to constantly fear for their life when he was around.
He didn’t want his brothers to be scared. He didn’t want the chance of him hurting them again.
And if that meant Raph wasting away by himself on his bed… Then so be it.
He couldn’t let it happen again. Hypnotism or not.
Raph didn’t know when he had fallen asleep. But he was soon woken up by knocking on his door.
“Hey Raph… It’s dinner time. April’s eating with us…” It was Mikey.
Raph didn’t respond. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. And there was no way he would be putting his family in harm's way.
Mikey waited for a few minutes.
Why bother waiting at all.
“... Ok, well. If you ever want to eat… There will be leftovers for you.”
There was a moment of silence until Raph heard footsteps walking away.
He sighed.
Finally, He wasn’t ready to see his family right now.
If he ever would be.
Raph
Didn’t know what else to do other than wallow in self pity. So off to sleep it was. Alone. Again.
He awoke in the middle of the night. Hungry.
His brothers were all asleep, right? He knew Splinter was. Mikey said there were leftovers for him, so he could go get those…
But… Did he deserve it?
He didn’t.
Raphs hunger eventually won over though. It often did…
He stumbled over to the kitchen. Despite the sleep, he still felt extremely tired. Opening the fridge, he saw a paper plate of pizza saran-wrapped with a sticky note that had ‘Raph’ written on it.
Raph liked cold pizza. It only gets worse once you microwave it anyway…
Should he microwave it?
No, that doesn’t make sense… Stupid Raph. Trying to make things more complicated than they have to be…
It was annoying only using his right hand, but it was whatever. He took out the plate, using his shoulder to close the fridge door. He turned around with a sigh. Then almost dropped his food.
There Leo sat, phone in front of his face, crutches resting against the chair.
Raph stared blankly at him, his brother staring back.
“Oh- Raph, hey! There you-” Leo tried to say, Raph cutting him off
“Um- Sorry I didn’t think that- I didn’t mean-... Is your ankle ok?”
Leo looked oddly at him.
“It’s… Fine. I’m more worried about you honestly-”
“What?? What’s there to worry about- Raphs fine! You're the injured one-”
“Says the one with an arm in a sling.”
“That's… That’s different.” Raph argued.
“Different how exactly?”
Raph didn’t have an answer
“That’s what I thought.” Leo said proudly “Anyway- I’m glad you're finally out of your room. We can actually talk now.”
Raph reeled back, trying to stutter out words.
“Ah, ah, ah Raph. You are not getting out of this one. Take a seat- or stay standing I don’t really care which… point is we need to have a chat.” Leo gestured to a chair in front of him, glaring at Raph in a ‘don’t you dare try and run’ kind of way.
Raph hesitated. Why would Leo… Want to talk to Raph. Let alone be near him.
Why did he care
He gave in though, slowly and awkwardly pulling out the chair and sitting.
“Smart choice. So, question numero uno: why are you avoiding us?” Leo asked. Ah, straight to the point.
“... Leo, is this really necessary-?”
“Yes! Raph, we are worried about you. The only medical attention you got was the sling, and according to the others- first thing you did when we got back to the lair was go right to your room, and refused to talk. What is up with that?”
“That- I was just… Tired.”
“Tired? Tired ??” Leo stressed,
Raph should not have said that huh.
“Yeah, because I’m sure you slept the entire time you were in your room- nearly 48 damn hours. And I heard you didn’t leave once.”
48 hours? Had it really been that long?
“You basically fucking starved yourself-!”
“Language.” Raph reflexively said, Leo ignoring it.
“And now, here you are. Pretending everything is fine and dandy when it's not. So tell me, Raph. Please. Why are you doing this?” Leo’s voice got quieter towards the end, his eyes looking shinier.
Was it not obvious why Raph was doing this? Was it not clear?
He hurt his family. His brothers. Raph was a monster. How could he ever show his face around them again? How would they not be able to fear for their life- just waiting for Raph to injure them again. What could have happened if they hadn’t defeated Hypno in time. He could’ve killed them. They could be dead.
And it would be all Raphs fault.
All his fault.
How would it not be?
“Raph, please. Just tell me.” Leo begged. Oh, Raph must’ve zoned out. He should answer. He had to answer.
But no words came out.
He felt like he was being choked. How could he answer this? He couldn’t dump all of his thoughts onto his younger brother. No. He had to handle it by himself. He couldn’t let his brothers deal with Raphs burden.
That wasn’t their job.
It was his.
Raph took a deep breath.
It was oddly shaky, like he was about to cry.
“Nothing… Is wrong, Leo. Raph just needs some time to heal. Everything's fine. You don’t need to worry.”
The lie rolled easily off his tongue. He had used this excuse many times before. It was so easy now, despite his lying abilities being poor. (Though still better than Donnie)
Leo looked at him, like he was some stranger.
“Liar.”
Raph hesitated. Why didn’t he believe him? He normally did.
“What do you mean?” He asked Leo calmly, a fake confused smile on his face.
“I mean you're a liar.” Leo restated “You always do this- pretend it's all fine when it's not. Nothing is fine Raph! Don’t you trust us? Trust me? Why do you always have to lie and say that it is, when it's so obvious it isn’t. I can see it, that look on your face. You feel guilty, don’t you?”
Right on the mark. Ouch. And Raph thought Mikey was the only emotionally intelligent one.
Well how was he supposed to lie about this now.
It… Would only hurt Leo more if he didn’t tell him right?
But… What if it only caused his brother more pain?
No, no the truth is always better.
Was it really?
It had to be.
Oh, sure it did.
Raph sighed tensely, the facade slowly cracking.
“I… Hurt you. I hurt all of you.”
Leo looked almost relieved, before his face switched to something more serious
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“ Does that really matter? ” The words slipped out before Raph could stop himself, and he immediately regretted it
“Does that really- Of course it does! You were being hypnotized for goodness sake! You couldn’t control anything you were doing-”
“That's the point! What happens if I can’t control myself again- even without hypnotism! What would happen if I started attacking you guys again? What if I hurt you more? What if I kill you. ”
Raph didn’t mean to say all that. It just… Happened. And he couldn’t stop.
“I was supposed to protect you, Leo. I was supposed to protect all of you! But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I knocked you out. I made Mikey bleed. I bruised Donnie- I almost broke through his battle shell! That isn’t supposed to happen. I’m the one who has to make sure it doesn’t. But whoops! Raph failed. I failed so badly. The oldest isn’t meant to do that. Every failure- I just prove how stupid I am. Almost murdering my brothers, making you worry so much- Everything! I messed up everything. And now-” Raph started to choke up, “-Now I proved it. I can’t do anything right. Can I?”
He felt something go down his face. Tears. He was crying. When did he stand up? Why did Leo- oh god. Why did he look so… Afraid?
Raph felt his heart pounding. His breathing was ragged, his legs wobbly and unstable.
He made it worse.
He makes everything worse.
Why was he like this.
He half expected Leo to run away, maybe warn Mikey and Donnie and basically everyone that Raph couldn’t be trusted.
Which was the right thing to do.
Or worse, Leo would blame himself for Raphs problems. Which would be awful, for both parties involved.
But Leo was unpredictable, at least in this case.
Raph didn’t know when he did, or why, but he felt a tight squeeze around his waist.
A hug.
Leo was hugging him… No, don’t cry. You can’t- not in front of your younger brother. Raph tried to hold the tears back. But the comfort he felt, the warmth, the trust Leo was giving him…
He started to cry.
Then sob.
And Leo never let go.
(Aftermath- Leo’s perspective)
Leo and his older brother were on the couch, watching a few Lou-Jitsu movies. Specifically Raphs favorite.
Sure, it was 1 am. And sure, his right leg's circulation was being cut off by the hundreds-of-pounds turtle lying on it. But he’d say it was worth it.
They had a long talk earlier. And sure, maybe Leo started crying a bit too. And maybe it was because of what Raph was sharing with him… Look, he couldn’t help but feel bad.
But things would be better.
And maybe it did take a solid hour to convince Raph nothing was his fault and he was the best brother ever- let alone older one.
And maybe he (totally completely didn't) told him that he was Leo’s favorite brother. But everything was absolutely worth it. Not to mention he managed to convince him into talking to everyone in the morning, and to apologize. (And Leo made sure he wasn’t going to apologize about the hypnotism thing- only the avoiding his family one.)
Leo was on the brink of passing out when he heard the voice of a particular nerd
“I see you talked it all out?”
“Yup.” Leo said proudly
“Good. Because I was not looking forward to being the one to start the ‘talk to us please’ conversation with him.”
“Wooow, your afraid of that”
“You say afraid, I say bad at.”
Leo fake gasped
“Wow, I can’t believe the Donetello is admitting he is bad at something.”
“Shut it. I’ll tell Mikey you aren’t his favorite”
“You wouldn’t- wait, how do you know about that”
“... Did I say something?”
Donnie quickly walked away, very clearly trying to hide his bed lying face. Leo would have to figure out how later…. (Probably security cameras)
But alas, Leo was bound to the couch, and also very tired.
The morning came, and they all had a talk. Even more tears were shed, doctor feelings miraculously didn’t make an appearance, and everything was well.
Raph hoped so anyway.