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It doesn’t take long for Saiki to recognize the patterns of thought Kaidou had around food.
It starts off with small remarks about not being hungry enough for ramen, even though Saiki had heard Kaidou’s stomach growling in class before it ended. He would choose an appetizer at the restaurant and nibble on it while his friends had conversations. Saiki would notice Kaidou’s eyes staring at the bowls across the table before sighing and eating his food.
I didn’t do well enough on the test yesterday, his brain supplied, oblivious to Saiki picking up on the words.
Saiki had let it go— everyone, he had realized long ago, had periods of negative self talk that would ease up when something good happened in their lives. They would easily replace the negativity with cockiness until another cycle ocurred in a few weeks or months.
However, when classes began again after winter break, Saiki quickly realized that it had not happened this way for Kaidou. In fact, it seemed to have gotten worse.
“Oy, Kaidou, you look thin!” Hairo remarked in gym class, picking up one of Kaidou’s arms to inspect the lack of muscle. “Are you sure you’re eating enough protein?!”
Kaidou snatched his arm back with force, almost toppling over onto the gym court. He blinked a few times before glaring at the class president in front of him.
“Of course I am! I have to fight the Dark Reunion after all,” he scowled and crossed his arms, trying to appear bigger than his body was showing.
Hairo laughed brightly: “As long as you can play baseball, you’ll be fine!”
The moment passed quickly and nobody really paid much attention, turning back to the instructions for the game they would be playing today. Saiki, however, let his eyes linger over Kaidou. The boy brought up his arm and closed his thumb and middle finger around his wrist subtly. They overlapped and Saiki’s eyes widened for a millisecond before he went back to his neutral expression. Kaidou then began sliding his fingers down, seeing how far down his arm he could still connect his fingers.
They stopped in the middle of his forearm, where the badages ended.
To Saiki’s muted horror, Kaidou dropped his hands and looked back at the rest of his class with a smile.
What the hell was this idiot doing to himself? Saiki wondered. Whatever his thoughts had been right before break had begun to have actual effects on the boy’s body, and yet all that he could sense from Kaidou was satisfaction.
Saiki had a strong feeling that he was out of his depth, for the first time in a very long time.
Kaidou looked down at his B+ and gulped.
His mother would not be happy about this. Neither was he, to be fair, after the hours he had spent studying the material. He had just felt so spacey and sick on the day of the test, and no amount of water made him remember what he had reviewed. Class ended and he knew he’d have to go home and show his mother the grade and see her extreme disappointment.
“Hey pal, wanna go get ramen with me and Saiki?” Nendou’s hand clapped down on his shoulder and Kaidou flinched. “Woah…your shoulder feels so boney—”
“I can’t go today!” Kaidou interrupted quickly, shoving his test paper into his bag and putting it over his head. He looked up at Nendou and realized he was still holding his shoulder and he wrenched back a few steps. Nendou’s eyebrows were furrowed. “I-I have something to do after school, top secret stuff that nobody can know about. Have fun at ramen though.”
Kaidou didn’t wait for a response before rushing over to change his shoes. His heartbeat was racing. Was his shoulder really that boney?
He wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He never really liked being frail before—it didn’t go with his persona of being a strong hero always fighting for the good of the world. And yet for some reason, lately, he felt giddy when girls would point out how tiny his wrists were, or how he could trace his fingertips along the lines of his ribcage in the mirror.
He didn’t even see Saiki until he stood up from tying his shoes, almost colliding with the boy’s chest.
Are you sure you don’t want ramen? Saiki asked, and Kaidou shook his head quickly.
“I’m busy. Maybe next week,” Kaidou replied. He wasn’t lying, he would be busy with all the material his mother would give him to do after seeing the grade on the paper. He would have to stay up late to get it all done and if he ate ramen now he was afraid he’d just puke.
Saiki was staring at him with an unreadable gaze. Kaidou waited a few moments before sidestepping him and saying his goodbyes before Saiki interrupted.
Eating shouldn’t be a reward for good grades, you know.
Kaidou’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. What the hell?
What the hell?
Saiki’s expression didn’t change, and his eyes were so knowing that Kaidou shivered. Or maybe that was just because it was so cold in the room. Had it always been that cold? His stomach ached.
Kaidou quickly let a smile spread on his face and nearly cringed at how obviously fake it was. I can’t do anything right, god.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Saiki!” He laughed, his chest clenching at his lies. “I’ll see you on Monday, okay?”
He turned on his heel and practically ran out the door, fleeing the uncomfortable situation. His whole body trembled in the cold of the outdoors as he walked alone towards a certain future.
Shun’s mother was not amused by the grade. He was sent to his room with a dozen workbooks and no phone, and he knew the weekend would be filled with gruelling tasks.
By the time he finished his work for that day, his mother had gone to bed and there was no food offered to him. Saiki was wrong. For the Kaidou household, meals were a reward for success and doing well.
Shun ate a small bag of crackers before going to bed, his stomach mercifully not pleading for food like it did so often.
This was how the weekend would go, and he was getting quite used to it.
Saiki frowned when he got to class on Monday to see Kaidou asleep on his desk.
His hair was messy and he could see dark eye circles beneath his eyes. He looked, somehow, even smaller than he had last Monday.
Saiki waited for lunchtime to roll around to enact his plan. His mother had been quite confused when he had asked her to make a second bento for lunch, but he explained that he was just really hungry that day so that she didn’t get the wrong idea and think he cared about some pathetic classmate.
Kaidou was slow today, every movement looking like it took twice the energy. His thoughts were jumbled and scattered, but it didn’t take much digging to confirm what Saiki had suspected: that the “bad” score on Friday had been the catalyst for a practically food-less weekend.
When they sat down for lunch, all Kaidou had brought was a large can of green tea.
Saiki clenched his teeth.
He was grateful that he had his parents: they weren’t the best in the universe, but they did everything they could to take care of Kusuo, even if it went overboard. Saiki knew that even if he had been born with no powers, it would have been the same. He would never worry about demanding pressures that sent him into delusional spirals, that’s for sure.
Saiki took out the second bento and pushed it in front of Kaidou, who looked taken aback.
“What is this?” He asked, poking the bento as if it were a bomb.
Lunch. Eat it. Saiki replied, already getting started on his own. Kaidou shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
“I’m confused,” he chuckled awkwardly, running his shaking fingertips through his hair. “Why are you giving me this?”
Because you look ill, and you’re hungry, Saiki narrowed his eyes at the boy who purses his lips. He thought he would have to argue more for Kaidou to get the message and eat the damn foor, but Nendou surprisingly speaks up.
“My best buddy is right,” he starts, and Saiki wonders if the classifier is necessary here, “You’re not fooling anybody. You need to eat. I could probably lift you up with one hand.”
Kaidou looks between his two friends for a bit before sighing in defeat.
It was true, after all. He was starving and he felt so much weaker than he had been only a few weeks ago. But it was also true that his grades weren’t the best, and he had been too weak to play with his little sister and had made her sad yesterday, and that he hadn’t been able to finish the homework, and—
What did I tell you on Friday, Saiki says to him, and Kaidou’s eyes snap up to his friend’s fiery ones. Food is not a reward. It’s a human need. You’re not going to get better grades by starving yourself so much your mind is too preoccupied thinking about how hungry it is that it forgets everything you’ve studied. Now, please, just eat.
The two boys sitting beside him blink shockingly at Saiki. It was the most they had heard him say maybe ever. And he is still staring at Kaidou, challenging him to try and refute what he said—which of course, he can’t.
It sucks when Saiki’s always right.
Kaidou nods and opens the bento. He raises his chopsticks to gather some rice and pickled radish and brings it to his lips. He tries not to think too much about how badly his fingers are shaking that the rice almost falls before it gets to his mouth.
When he chews, he almost cries at how delicious it is, and how badly his stomach aches for it.
Kaidou’s eyes connect with Saiki’s smiling lips, and he actually sniffles at how much his friends cared about him.
“So…ramen after school?” Nendou asks, and grins victoriously when Kaidou nods.
Saiki, as always, agrees. This time with a bit more enthusiasm.