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Stiles has been waiting for Derek to tell him what’s going on. It’s been three weeks since their six-month anniversary, three weeks since they’ve had any actual alone time. Derek was off that night, and Stiles noticed it almost immediately only to be waved off when he mentioned it. Derek’s been actively avoiding spending time with him, but not in a way that should’ve told him that he was being ignored. Derek’s always there, but it’s like he’s suddenly not in focus. He’s there, conversations surrounding them, and he gets involved, but with Stiles, he’s just there. He’s drifting further and further away from Stiles while he stands right next to him, and all Stiles can think is that maybe he’s decided that enough is enough. Maybe Derek’s trying to figure out how to end things with him, and maybe Stiles is just not recognizing the subtle ways that Derek’s telling him that it’s over.
“Scotty, I’m telling you, I haven’t done anything wrong! I would know if I messed up! I analyze every little thing that I do when I’m with him purely because I don’t want to hurt him! He’s been through so much, and I just… I wanted to be a good thing for him.” says Stiles into his phone as he falls onto the couch of his dad’s home because if Derek’s going to avoid him, then he’s going to avoid Derek too.
“Son, do you have to be so loud? Why are you talking about Derek instead of being with him? He’s off today.” says Noah as he suddenly appears in the doorway of the living room, and Stiles lifts his head to stare in shock at his father being home when he’s supposed to be at the department.
“You’re not off today, so what are you doing home already?” asks Stiles as Scott is still in his ear trying to give advice to how to figure out what’s going on. “Scott, dad just told me he’s off. I’ll just go over there and hope that he’s actually there.”
He hangs up on Scott as his dad steps further into the room, resting his hands on the back of the couch.
“Are you finally going to talk to Derek because son, he’s been way off recently, even Jordan has noticed. He’s working too much, he’s actually worked more than me, and I’m never at home!” says Noah and Stiles just looks at him in confusion.
“If you noticed he was off, why didn’t you tell me, or talk to him yourself even? You see him more than I do anymore.” grumbles Stiles as he turns to look at the window with his lips curved down in a pout.
“Well, I tried, but all I was told was that it’s nothing, and I don’t need to worry about him because he’s a wolf, he can handle the stress. He cannot handle the stress, and I think he’s realized that because he finally let me give him the rest of the week off when he snapped at Lee this morning.” replies Noah with a concerned look on his face, though Stiles can see his mind working to figure out what’s going on. “Go see your boyfriend, son, this needs to be taken care of. You both have wasted far too much time already by not talking to each other.”
“Alright, alright, Dad, I’ll go try to talk to him. If he’s even at the loft.” says Stiles as he stands, stretching before he slips his phone in his pocket and leaves the house, patting his dad’s shoulder on his way out.
“I don’t want to see either of you until Friday, and I expect you to arrive together and confirm that you’ve talked this mess out with smiles and handholding, and suffocating PDA!” hollers his dad and Stiles can’t help but laugh because of course his dad would bring that up.
Stiles always wants to be with Derek, sitting in his lap, laying against his chest, kissing him as much as possible no matter where he is. Derek’s just amazing, and Stiles loves being able to be cuddly with him because Derek’s told him how much he loves that Stiles wants to be touching him some way somehow. He’s even said that his wolf settles when Stiles is touching him, settles in a way he’s never felt it settle before until Stiles touched him that first time. It took some time, but they’ve both recognized what it means. Peter even popped in to tell them when Derek let it slip a month into their relationship.
Stiles had been so concerned that his constant touchiness was bothering Derek because of something that Lee had said at the office, but Derek shut that down instantly. Then Peter showed up and explained that Derek’s wolf has recognized Stiles as his mate, and that scared the both of them because wolves mate for life. Stiles was scared because he thought Derek would hate being stuck with him for life, and Derek was scared that he would be left one day when Stiles got tired of him, or that he’d make Stiles resent him one day for making him settle.
“Son, get a move on! You need to get this situation sorted out!” calls his dad, shocking Stiles from his thoughts and Stiles realizes that he’d been standing in the middle of his dad’s yard just lost in thought.
Stiles waves his hand at his father before quickly getting into the jeep, latching his seatbelt, and starting it up. He lets himself calmly pull out of the driveway, silence thrumming alongside the purring engine of his jeep as he sets himself on the path to the loft, where he would hopefully find his amazing boyfriend. The drive isn’t more than twenty minutes, and Stiles is grateful it’s not a further drive because rain has decided to visit Beacon Hills in the form of a nasty thunderstorm, because of course it has.
“I fucking hate storms.” grumbles Stiles as he parks the jeep in the parking lot and gets out.
He runs to the door, the rain soaking him to the bone as thunder rolls, and lightning brightens the sky momentarily, disappearing as the sun had after he’d gotten down the road. This storm literally came out of nowhere, and Stiles is praying it’s just the weather being a bitch rather than another supernatural pain in the ass coming to town after that wendigo last week. He hurries into the lobby and grumbles as he heads for the elevator. It’s a decently quick ride with him dripping water onto the elevator floor as it dings every time they rise another level. Stiles is frustrated by the time he reaches the floor with Derek’s loft, walking to the doors, he waits a moment, hoping that he can hear something from inside.
“What are you doing here Stiles?” asks Derek with a sigh as he slides the door open before Stiles can touch the handle.
“Coming to see why my boyfriend has decided to ignore me for the last three weeks.” thinks Stiles but instead he replies, “Dad told me you got the rest of the week off, said he was worried about you, so I came to see if you wanted to talk about whatever is bothering you.”
“Sorry you drove all the way here for nothing, but you drove all the way here for nothing. I’m fine, just tired. Come in though, you’re not going anywhere in this storm. I don’t know why you even drove in this mess.” says Derek softly as he turns and heads back over to the couch, settling comfortably onto the leather seat and picking up a book from the coffee table.
“Derek, I really don’t want you to keep deflecting. You’ve been doing this for three weeks, and I just want to know why.” explains Stiles softly as he steps into the loft, closing the door behind him before turning to look at the side of Derek’s face.
“Go change, you’re soaked, and you could get sick if you stay in those wet clothes any longer. I’ll say it when you’re dry.” says Derek shortly, not even looking at him, and Stiles feels his heart drop into his stomach.
He doesn’t even respond, heading for the stupid spiral stairs with his heart feeling like it’s seconds away from shattering in his hand because this is it. Derek’s going to break up with him, and it’s going to be for something he did that he didn’t even realize he’d done. This is his own freaking fault. He reaches Derek’s door, and he goes inside, immediately going for his own clothes, pulling out an outfit before searching for his suitcase. He’s going to have to pack his things up after Derek shatters his heart because he can’t leave these things for Derek if he doesn’t want him here. Maybe he’ll leave a few things, Derek’s wolf won’t be okay if his scent completely disappears, and while wolves mate for life, his wolf will only be harsh during full moons, thank god. Because they hadn’t completed the mating, Derek’s wolf won’t die if he decides he wants Stiles out of his life.
Stiles takes his new clothes before going to the bathroom, using a towel that was folded in the shelving to dry off, he hangs his clothes on the bath after he’s dry, then he pulls on the grey sweatpants and the white tee, shivering as he leaves the bathroom, dropping the towel in the towel bin. Stiles heads back down the spiral staircase, walking slowly because he’s shivering and shaking enough to make him feel unbalanced, and he really doesn’t want anything else to break because he’s not sure that his heart will even heal.
“Stiles, you should’ve grabbed a blanket or a sweatshirt or something. You’re shaking.” says Derek and the concern in his voice almost gets Stiles to smile, but instead Stiles shakes his head.
“Just say it, Derek. Tell me what’s going on.” Stiles deflects immediately because he needs Derek to just say it already.
“Stiles, you’re shaking, and you expect me to tell you something? You need to get warm.” argues Derek as he moves from the couch with their fuzzy red blanket in his hands.
He’s slipping it around Stiles shoulders when Stiles’ voice comes back, “Don’t be so caring when you’re about to shatter my heart in a million pieces. That’s just going to make it hurt worse, and I don’t know how that could even be possible, but I’m sure you’ll find a way.”
It’s silent, and Stiles is staring at Derek’s clothed chest, refusing to meet the eyes he feels boring into his brown hair. Derek’s hands are resting on the blanket on his shoulders, the warmth of them searing into Stiles’ skin, and he can feel himself crumbling because that warmth is about to disappear forever. That comfort is never going to be there again.
“Who said anything about breaking your heart?” asks Derek so quietly that if he wasn’t right in front of Stiles, he knows he wouldn’t have heard him.
“Three weeks, you’ve been avoiding spending any time with me outside of pack things. Three weeks, and I haven’t been able to sleep with you, hold you, kiss you, love you. What else are you going to tell me? You’ve clearly decided that you don’t want me anymore.” His voice is cracking with the way he’s trying to hold his tears back. There’s anger seeping into the pain that makes him want to cry because he’s not mad, he’s confused and hurt, but he just wants to understand what went wrong.
“Stiles, I’m not…” Derek sounds wrong, his voice it’s…
Stiles has to look at Derek then because his Derek shouldn’t sound like that. His Derek shouldn’t sound like he’s breaking, he should never sound like that. Derek’s eyes are brimming with tears, confusion, and Stiles’s world freezes at the sight of Derek looking so unsure and hurt.
“Stiles, I’ve just been…” starts Derek and Stiles moves to put his hands on Derek’s waist, to show support somehow because if Derek wants to talk, Stiles is more than ready to listen. “It’s just… You deserve the world, and I'm scared I can't give it to you. “
Derek’s staring at him, vulnerable in his words, in the wide eyes, in the way he just let himself say it.
“You… Derek, you’ve given me the world already. You gave me the world the second that you agreed to be mine. You are the world to me, you’re everything… Is this…? Is this what’s been bothering you for the last three weeks?” asks Stiles a bit breathlessly, dizzy as he holds Derek’s waist because this was not at all what he’d been expecting when he came into the loft a little bit ago.
“Yeah, I just… Peter said something before I came to the restaurant for our anniversary dinner, and it just reminded me how much I’m still dealing with because of my past. And I just... I’ve cared about a lot of people, loved many of them with everything in me, and I’ve failed them, and I just… I don’t want to fail you too, Stiles.” explains Derek quietly, sheepish because he’s caused such a mess by being silent and avoiding the problem.
“Derek… You never failed anyone. You’ve been used, manipulated, but failure? I don’t think that’s really in your vocabulary, aside from when you were Alpha, but we already knew that.” replies Stiles and he pulls a chuckle from Derek because Derek’s admitted how awful he was at being an Alpha because he didn’t know what being an Alpha meant then, but he definitely doesn’t want it now that he does. “You can’t fail me, Derek, I don’t think you could fail any of us even if you tried. Truly. But next time, can you talk to me, please? Because the last three weeks have sucked majorly, and I’ve really missed you.”
“Next time I will talk to you.” agrees Derek immediately, pulling Stiles into a much-needed hug, and he chuckles when Stiles melts into it immediately. “Have you been sleeping?”
“Not really, my sourwolf hasn’t been sleeping with me.” replies Stiles teasingly as he huddles closer to Derek, drinking in his warmth and his pine smell.
“Well, maybe we should head to bed then. It looks like we both are in need of a good night’s rest.” says Derek softly as he moves back, planning to make Stiles head for the stairs.
“Don’t even think about letting go of me.” says Stiles as he holds Derek tightly, not wanting to let him go.
“We need to go upstairs, and we can’t do that if you’re holding me.” replies Derek with a chuckle as he points out the obvious.
“So, pick me up. I’m not letting you go. It’s been three weeks, Der.” whines Stiles as he switches his hold, wrapping his arms around Derek’s neck instead.
Derek sighs softly before scooping Stiles up, hands gripping the backs of his thighs, and Stiles hums sweetly as he nuzzles into Derek’s neck.
“Let’s go to bed Der.” whispers Stiles into his ear before pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.” says Derek softly before he moves to give Stiles a real kiss on his bitten lips, then he adjusts his hold before heading for the stairs. “To bed we go.”
When Derek gets them laid out on the bed, slipping his way under the comforter alongside Stiles, he’s unsurprised when Stiles lays half on top of him and buries his face in his neck. Derek is lulled to sleep by Stiles’ heartbeat as it calms down, as their breathing syncs up like it’s done for far too long now.