Chapter Text
Bocchi >>> Ryo
5:45 PM | October 17
Bocchi: ryo. i need your help.
The crisp air of autumn surrounded Shimokitazawa, as Ryo walks back to Starry to meet Nijika for a brief stopover after class, before they headed out for their regular dinner date. She’d popped by the supermarket near VillePan for some supplies for the Ijichi household; her reusable tote bag, a signature plain navy blue, is bulging with groceries.
Milk, apples, eggs, cold brew coffee, instant noodles… Ryo checks off her mental list, uncertain if she’s gotten everything she needed. It’s fine; I can probably go grab it again later, or tomorrow.
Her phone buzzes as she listens to The Brobecks and Lips - some of the more popular (read: less obscure) indie bands she’d listen to. She takes time to look for it in the slim, brown backpack she uses for class; it had a neat appearance on the outside, but the inside is crammed full of paper receipts and notes from computer science class.
It’s Bocchi - she rarely texted Ryo for anything other than lyrics and songwriting, and if she wanted something else, Ryo would usually hear about it from Kita or the group chat. Not because they weren’t close or anything; that was just how Bocchi was.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
5:46 PM
Ryo: what’s up?
Bocchi: askdjskda i just need help!!
Ryo: i can’t help you if you don’t know what it is you need help for w
Ryo leans against the planter boxes outside VillePan, as she soaks in the crisp air. The Tuesday evening around Shimokita was about to pick up; but for now, all was quiet. The occasional car horn sounded in the distance. A child walks by with her mother in tow.
Her phone buzzes again; its sharp vibrato lost in the cacophony of the metro in the distance.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
5:59 PM
Bocchi: i can’t…
Bocchi: i can’t get anyone to come with me
Bocchi: to the endocringeologist
Bocchi: endocrinologist***
Bocchi: kita’s busy with school
Bocchi: mum is away on a work trip and dad also has work
Bocchi: i can’t bring jimihen
Bocchi: or futari after what she did last time
Bocchi: dskfjskldjf im fkin scared od the doctor what do i doooo,,,,,,
Ryo sighs.
Bocchi went to the clinic at the hospital near her, four stops away from her home on the Kanagawa Seaside Line. It wasn’t the gender clinic Ryo usually went to — some ob-gyn near Shimokita. She lets out a sharp exhale.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
6:10 PM
Ryo: when is it
Bocchi: tomorrow. i have to skip school
Ryo: i have class dumbass
Ryo: plus we have practice after
Bocchi: pleaseee you have nijika-chan to help you take notes or whatever just come wiht me,,,,,
Bocchi: (((＞＜)))
Bocchi: ( >﹏<。)
Bocchi: (〃▽〃)
The kaomoji continues for several other messages, as Bocchi begs for Ryo to just come with.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
6:14 PM
Ryo: stop it w
Ryo: ok i’ll come with
Ryo: where and when
Bocchi: shidai-igakubu station
Bocchi: 8.15am
Ryo groans, as she looks up the commute online. She’d have to wake up at 6am to catch the train to Shidai-Igakubu. Early morning commutes sucked, and Ryo never went to classes earlier than 11am in principle. The train to university alone took a whole hour. Time I won’t get back… she thinks.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
6:17 PM
Ryo: tf
Ryo: you owe me
Bocchi: yes i’ll do anything!!!
Ryo: this is a binding vow
Bocchi: yes please!!!!!
Ryo continues on her way to Starry; she texts Nijika to tell her when she’ll be reaching, and tell her about the conversation she just had.
Ryo >>> Nijika
6:18 PM
Ryo: can you help me with class tomorrow
Ryo: bocchi wants me to take her to the doctor
Nijika: can’t she go herself?
Ryo: you know bocchi, she’s scared of everything. even needles
How has Bocchi survived as a trans girl then? Ryo thinks.
Needles, unpleasant experiences all around, rude nurses… Ryo shudders. She heads down the steps to Starry, and gives Nijika a soft kiss.
They wave their goodbyes to Seika and head out.
The sun peeks out from the buildings around Shimokita, as Ryo’s alarm rings.
What an ungodly hour, Ryo thinks, as the deep blue glow of dawn streams in from the windows of the Ijichi house; she rolls out of bed, as a sleeping Nijika stirs.
“You… why’d you… oh…” Nijika flops right back onto the bed. Ryo listens to her faint snoring, and reminds herself to text Nijika a short note.
Ryo >>> Nijika
6:08 AM | October 18
Ryo: going to bring bocchi to gender clinic w
Ryo: please tell the professors my hamster died
Ryo: again
Nijika’s phone buzzes faintly. She stirs, again, and goes back to sleep; her alarm won’t ring until an hour later.
Ryo steps into the warm shower. She applies shampoo on her damp, electric blue hair; it turns into a darker navy as the water flows downward. Then came the body soap, face wash and conditioner; she rinses all of them off and steps out of bathtub; a warm mist fogs up the mirror.
She wipes the mist off and looks into the mirror. There was a time that image of her disgusted her; and she wonders if Bocchi ever felt the same way. She picks up the electric toothbrush, and continues her routine.
“You’re early,” Seika says. “For a Wednesday, at least.”
The manager is sleepy; she slips a pod into the coffee maker as it whirs and screeches. An amber liquid pours into the glass cup below.
“I’m bringing Bocchi to the gender clinic,” Ryo says, as she picks up a bottle of iced coffee from the fridge. She gulps the whole thing down; the cold shocks her awake, and she realises her misstep.
Crap, Seika doesn’t know that Bocchi-
“The what now?” Seika replies. “Oh. That. Have fun.”
Ryo remembers the first time she told Seika about herself, the deep truth.
“That's fine,” Seika had said. “Though I really don't need you to become more and more like that Hir-”
“Shh!” PA-san interrupted.
“Oh. Sorry, dear,” Seika had said. She then gave PA-san a small kiss on the cheek.
Seika probably wouldn’t care, Ryo thinks, though she does mentally chastise herself for being too loose-lipped in the morning.
Ryo steps out of the Ijichi house, and heads for Shimokita station. Her phone buzzes.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
6:20 AM
Bocchi: you on your way yet
Bocchi: please don’t tell me you overslept
Ryo: you hurt me with your preconceived notions of my character…
Bocchi: ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
Bocchi: sorry
The train was packed during rush hour; Ryo hated going into the city, but, ironically, it was the fastest way to get out of the city; living near Shimokita meant that most trips out of the city required her to change trains at a crowded and confusing Shinjuku station.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
6:38 AM
Ryo: the train’s so crowded
Ryo: girl you owe me
Ryo absent-mindedly checks the Kessoku group chat; the last text was from Kita at 11pm; she had bumped into another guitarist on the train home from cram school.
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ !!!!!!!!!!! Kessoku Band !!!!!!!!!!! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆
6:38 AM
Kita: Her name’s Yui!
Kita: Yui Hirasawa!!
Kita: She’s 15 and in a band at school! It’s called Ho-kago Tea Time
Kita: Listen to her, she has amazing sound!!
Attached was a video of Yui on stage; her guitar was indeed amazing. The timbres on time with the rest of her band; her sound warbles clearly across the school hall.
Yui sounds like a younger version of Bocchi, Ryo thinks. She starts texting a reply:
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ !!!!!!!!!!! Kessoku Band !!!!!!!!!!! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆
6:38 AM
Ryo: sugoi w
Ryo: also who put so many sparkles in our group name again
Ryo: kita is it you
Ryo changed the group name to Kessoku Band!!
She leaves a thumbs-up emoji, and sees the three dots indicating that someone is typing. Who would be awake at this hour? Ryo thinks.
Despite never having done this with Bocchi, Ryo understood how it was very much not just needles. She also knows her other (cis) bandmates will never understand this; and as she makes her transfer to the JR East Rapid to Yokohama, she tabs out to her chat with Bocchi.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
6:45 AM
Ryo: i have a burning question
Ryo: how tf did you get hormones
Bocchi: my parents helped!!
Bocchi: it was hard at first, trying to explain everything..,,
Ryo: i can imagine
Bocchi: i spent time in the closet trying to rehearse an explanation
Bocchi: first to myself,,
Bocchi: then to jimihen,,
Ryo: wait th
Ryo: the dog
Bocchi: YES I KNOW DONT LAUGH AT ME
Bocchi: anyway futari and mom heard…,,
Bocchi: mom was concerned
Bocchi: futari was just laughing
Bocchi: my sister is evil i swear,,,,
The train trundles to a stop at Musashi-Kosugi station, and Ryo finally gets a seat. She’d have to change lines at Yokohama station again, and then at Shinsugita.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:00 AM
Ryo: were there
Ryo: signs
Bocchi: i guess. like. when i was 3
Bocchi: i insisted i was a girl
Bocchi: even when mom kept telling me about..,,
Bocchi: about how i was born a boy
Bocchi: and that i had to do boy things
Bocchi: i think my uncle was like you should “beat it out of your son”
Bocchi: but my mom got really offended at that….,,
Bocchi: we still don’t talk to extended family that much
Ryo feels a little jealous; she’s still occasionally made to go to extended family gatherings as a boy. At one of her aunt’s funeral, she had to tie up her hair and go in a dress shirt and pants; she’d stayed in bed for hours after listening to people misgender her over and over.
She did miss her aunt though, the adventurer. Her aunt was the only one who understood. She’d cried for a day when she heard the news she went missing in Antarctica, even as her classmates didn’t believe her.
The train stops at Yokohama, and Ryo alights; she takes a transfer to the Negishi Line.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:11 AM
Ryo: how did you manage to tell the doctor anyway
Bocchi takes a very long time to type out her response. Ryo sets down her phone, as The Greeting Committee quietly plays.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:18 AM
Bocchi: hours and hours and hours and hours and hours
Bocchi: and hours and hours and hours of rehearsing in the closet
Bocchi: i wrote a script and memorised it
Bocchi: but the doctor wasn’t convinced
Bocchi: so he asked more questions
Bocchi: and i think i got scared
Bocchi: this continued for like. 2? 3? sessions
Bocchi: until i couldn’t take it anymore
Bocchi: and i just told him i might kms
Bocchi: if i couldn’t be a girl
Bocchi: mom was shocked, obviously
Ryo: wow
Bocchi: you?
Ryo: my parents have always been supportive
Ryo: they did take some convincing though
Ryo: and it kinda did help that they were hospital directors
Ryo: i remember being at the psychiatrist and them being like. “do this for my daughter, now!!”
Bocchi: wow. i’m jealous
Bocchi: i wish i didn’t have to go through all that
Bocchi: i wish so much that i was a cis girl
Bocchi: but at the same time you know,,
Bocchi: maybe i wouldn’t be the same person if i was….
How did Bocchi get so pensive? Ryo thinks.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:22 AM
Ryo: did you ever meet someone like us?
Bocchi: at FOLT i think. i didn’t speak to them though
Bocchi: ksjdfjfsak ive never really talked to anyone there
Bocchi: apart from ohtsuki-san…
Bocchi: wish oneesan would introduce them to us better hehe..
Ryo: who at FOLT?
Bocchi: well i can’t tell you
Bocchi: ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
Ryo: ok then
Ryo: keep your secrets
Bocchi: maybe you need your gaydar checked…..,,
Ryo looks up at her surroundings on the train, as it enters a tunnel. She had some idea as to who Bocchi might be talking about; she wonders what might happen if Kita knew.
Kita might just straight up set up a meeting, even if no one was comfortable with it; the Kita-aura she’d emanate would certainly make the whole interaction funnier, Ryo thinks.
The cabin is filled with middle school students in their uniforms; and as the train stops at Yamate Station, all of them depart.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:24 AM
Ryo: anyway how did you hide it from us for so long
Bocchi: i guess the same way i tried to hide being guitarhero from y’all,,…
Bocchi: i just never talked about it
The fuzz from the velvet seats of the E233-1000 series pricked at her palms a little; she wonders why the operator didn’t choose plastic seating, and hopes that it’s been recently vacuumed.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:27 AM
Bocchi: were you surprised?
Ryo: i don’t think i was noticing even
Bocchi: wow your gaydar really is broken….
Ryo: come to think of it there were signs
Ryo: why’d you always wear that tracksuit for instance
Ryo: like. it looks so ill-fitting but i get it
Ryo: plus your social anxiety is off the charts
Ryo: id still bet you’d look super hot in better clothes www
Bocchi: ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
Bocchi: ٩(๑òωó๑)۶
Ryo: come on bbg
Ryo: you going to melt?
Bocchi: …,,.,,.,,.,……
Bocchi: brb,, gotta change and leave the house…
The train continues to trundle on, as Ryo’s Spotify switches to My Chemical Romance; she taps on her phone and plays some choice clips from Gerard Way’s essential tracks instead. The booming boyband pop parody of Baby You’re A Haunted House plays.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:31 AM
Ryo: it’s wild we played alongside My Chemical Romance huh
Bocchi has stopped replying, as Maya the Psychic starts playing. The train stops at Shinsugita, and Ryo makes her final transfer to the Kanagawa Seaside Line, toward Kanazawa-Hakkei.
The sky is much more brighter now; the sun turning the stainless steel body of the Type 2000 train a warm grey, as the electric blue, marine and yellow stickers gleam. The seas off Yokohama glitter in the distance.
As she waits for the train at Shinsugita, Ryo feels a faint buzz from her phone; it’s from the Kessoku Band group chat. Kita has once again changed the group name, in her never-ending campaign to give it more flair.
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ !!!!!!!!!!! Kessoku Band !!!!!!!!!!! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆
7:35 AM
Kita has changed the group name to ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ !!!!!!!!!!! Kessoku Band !!!!!!!!!!! ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ .
Nijika: Goddammit
Nijika: i’m being assaulted by the kita-aura over here
Kita: Wwww
Ryo has changed the group name to kessoku band.
Ryo: what are you, 10
Kita: Hey!
Kita has changed the group name to ੈ‧₊˚ !!!!!!!!! 𝑲𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒌𝒖 𝑩𝒂𝒏𝒅 !!!!!!!!! ‧₊˚.
Nijika: omg it’s even more dazzling than before
Bocchi: how do you even translate kita-aura to unicode.,,,,
Ryo: jeez it’s blinding my eyes already
Ryo has changed the group name to kband.
Kita has changed the group name to ₊˚⊹♡ !!!!!!!!! 𝕂𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕠𝕜𝕦 𝔹𝕒𝕟𝕕 !!!!!!!!! ♡⊹˚₊.
Ryo: how many of these do you have
Nijika: help
Ryo has changed the group name to Kessoku Band.
Kita: ୧૮ ๑•̀ᗝ•́ ა૭
Kita has changed the group name to ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚ !!!!!!!!! 𝒦ℯ𝓈𝓈ℴ𝓀𝓊 ℬ𝒶𝓃𝒹 !!!!!!!!! ˚♡｡⋆ ༘ ˚✧.
Nijika: the united nations called
Nijika: they said kita-aura should be banned because it was too effective as a weapon of mass extroversion
Nijika: effectively they said it should be considered a crime against humanity
Nijika: to have Kita-shinin-atcha
Kita: ૮ ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ྀིა
A LOINE notification bubble pops up on Ryo’s phone, as the train leaves Namiki-kita Station. She thinks of the best way to counter Kita’s persistent aura, but to no avail.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:45 AM
Bocchi: sdakjlakjd sorry about that
Bocchi: think Kita spent 30 minutes making as many group names as possible
Bocchi: she was cackling away wwww
Another bubble pops up; Ryo tabs back into the Kessoku Band chat.
✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚ !!!!!!!!! 𝒦ℯ𝓈𝓈ℴ𝓀𝓊 ℬ𝒶𝓃𝒹 !!!!!!!!! ˚♡｡⋆ ༘ ˚✧ **
7:47 AM
Nijika: ryo
Nijika: save me
Nijika: save me from the kita-aura
Ryo has changed the group name to kessoku.
Bocchi: on a more practical note
Bocchi: i guess the um
Bocchi: the little unicode bubbles
Bocchi: sort of takes up
Kita has changed the group name to ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ !!!!!!!!! 𝕶𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖔𝖐𝖚 𝕭𝖆𝖓𝖉 !!!!!!!!! ₊‧✩₊˚ৎ౨˚₊‧✩₊.
Bocchi: a lot of space in the notification bar
Ryo: what are we, my chemical romance?
Kita: We could never be as good as them…
Kita: But we could be… like them!!! wwwwww
Ryo suddenly has a great idea; she cackles to herself as she taps on the group icon on their LOINE chat, and selects the intricate text that Kita has put together. She types out a single letter.
k
7:49 AM
Ryo has changed the group name to k.
Ryo: see
Ryo: now it’s simpler
Nijika: what kind of band are we supposed to be again???
Ryo: k
Bocchi: wwwwwwwww
Ryo: we can definitely make lots of money
Ryo: by trademarking the letter k
Ryo: ($⌄$)
Kita has changed the group name to .𖥔 ݁ ˖𖦹⭒°｡⋆ !!!!!!!!! 🅚🅔🅢🅢🅞🅚🅤 🅑🅐🅝🅓 !!!!!!!!! ⋆｡°⭒𖦹˖ ݁ 𖥔..
Bocchi: your best yet!!!!
Bocchi: show them what you’ve got!!!!
Kita: Thanks babe <3
Ryo: what
Ryo: you were in on this?
Nijika: how could you
Nijika: betrayal!!!
Kita: Wwwwww
Nijika: these symbols. are not even rendering correctly
Ryo: anyway bocchi i’m reaching
Ryo: just one stop away
Bocchi: okay
Bocchi: wait for me outside the station?
Nijika: nuuuu
Nijika: don’t leave me here
Kita: ૮ •̀ω •́ ა
Ryo: good luck nijika
Ryo: you’ll need it
Ryo laughs to herself, and sets down her phone.
Next stop, Shidai-igakbu Station. Shidai-igakbu Station.
Ryo disengages from the group chat, as the train leaves Fukuura. The skies are clear all around, as the train traverses a little curve; Ryo gets up and prepares to make her way off the train. It trundles right into Shidai-igakbu Station, and Ryo steps out; the station, tiny and claustrophobic, is filled with university students, and medical staff in scrubs.
She spots Bocchi waiting at the entrance, and stops in her tracks.
Bocchi is wearing a pastel cream dress; her pink hair flowing past her shoulders. She’s also wearing a pink cardigan; her signature blue and yellow cubes are perched on her hair.
Her bosom, ample as it is, is nearly bursting out the top. She blushes and clutches on to her leather purse.
“Oh!! I’ve not seen this Bocchi since the school festival! Remember, when you were in that maid outfit…?” Ryo exclaims, dashing up to Bocchi with gold yen in her eyes. “What, did you ransack Kita’s wardrobe?”
Bocchi turns beet red as she recalls one of the most torturous days of her first year of high school.
The most torturous day, followed by the best day of high school, she thinks.
“I always knew you were a diamond in the rough,” Ryo teases. “When are we gonna do that swimsuit promo?”
Bocchi tries to hide her face in her bangs. She picks up her phone, and Ryo’s phone buzzes.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
7:57 AM
Bocchi: i kinda dress like this because
Bocchi: well the last time i wore my tracksuit
Bocchi: the psychiatrist was like
Bocchi: “i’m not convinced you’re trans”
Bocchi: it delayed me by a month
Ryo: oh
Ryo: well fuck them
Ryo: ☆ヾ(`Д´*)
Ryo: lead the way please
Bocchi turns around and leads Ryo to the endocrinology department. Bocchi registers, and the two sit for a while. She taps away at her phone.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
8:05 AM
Bocchi: anyway you were asking something earlier
Ryo: yeah
Ryo: don’t you find it wild that we played alongside My Chemical Romance
Bocchi: oh
Bocchi: them
Bocchi: idk lol i was so nervous at punkspring w
Ryo: dyk the lead is non-binary
Bocchi: yeah
Ryo: i love them they’re so gender
Ryo sends Bocchi a picture of Gerard Way in their secretary outfit. Gerard is in a olive suit and pencil skirt, holding their mic up on stage as the stage lights gleam; they have a sheen of sweat on them from the glare of the lights. They look magnificent, Ryo thinks.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
8:09 AM
Bocchi: haha i love their outfit too…,
Bocchi: sometimes i’m like
Bocchi: i wanna be like that on stage
Bocchi: but then i think of wearing binders and dressing up as a guy and it kinda sucks…,.
Ryo: we can’t be a boyband
Ryo: nijika hates the idea
Ryo: plus i also hate binders w
Ryo: i’d probably wear a dress shirt and pants but no binders
Bocchi: yeah binders are for boys!!
Bocchi: i’m not a boy
Bocchi: neither are you
“Hitori Gotoh,” the nurse calls out, interrupting the two. Bocchi squeaks out a small acknowledgement; the nurse tells her that she needs to get her bloods tested, and shows her to a small room. Bocchi tugs at Ryo’s wrist and pulls her along.
“First time?” the attending phlebotomist asks.
“It’s always the first time for her,” Ryo quips.
The phlebotomist chortles. “It’s normal to feel nervous around needles.” She peers at Bocchi’s records. “But wait, you’ve been here for three years…”
Bocchi nods. She’s holding Ryo’s hand tightly, so tightly that it’s getting numb.
“Ah! I remember you now. You tried to bring your dog over,” she continues. “That was a fun day.”
Ryo stifles a laugh.
“Anyway, this will only feel like a pinprick,” the phlebotomist says.
Bocchi’s hand crushes Ryo’s as the needle goes into her arm. The force was such that Ryo visibly grimaces, as she watches the deep red blood flow out of Bocchi’s vein and into the small vial. Bocchi’s expression purses into an agonized grimace as her mind races with several distinct threads of anxiety-fueled scenarios; she tries not to look at the vial, lest she lose consciousness.
The phlebotomist pops off the vial, and sticks Bocchi’s medical information onto it; she stuffs it into a capsule, and sends it down the pneumatic tube station. It disappears with a fwomp.
“Off you go, kid!” she says. “Come back at… 11? For your appointment.”
Bocchi finally frees Ryo from her grasp. The bassist looks back at her shaky palm and envisioned it smoldering, emitting smoke. “T-That wasn’t so bad,” Ryo replies.
Bocchi is pale blue; she teeters a little.
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to faint. Then again, you’re in a hospital, so it’s the best place to faint,” Ryo quips, still looking down at her poor hand. “It’s impressive that you’ve survived all these visits…”
“It’s… It’s better that you’re here,” Bocchi says. “Better than having Futari around anyway. She’d giggle: ‘My sister is about to faint!’ and then she’d laugh.”
“It’s nice that she says ‘my sister’ though,” Bocchi continues. “Maybe she’s not that evil?”
Ryo chuckles.
They walk out of the phlebotomist’s station and the clinic, and head for breakfast.
As Bocchi sips on her coffee, and savours her rice, fish and miso soup, a woman with familiar wine-red hair flits past.
Ryo spots her too, but as she turns around to take a better look, she vanishes from her field of view.
Huh, I must be imagining things, Ryo thinks. She continues to take big bites out of the croissants in front of her, which Bocchi paid for. Her hand is still sore from Bocchi’s grip.
“Y-You sure you don’t want more?” Bocchi says. She offers some of her rice to Ryo. “Thanks for coming over, after all.”
“Thank you for the meal,” Ryo says. Then, after a pause: “But you still owe me, girl. Treat me to lunch?”
“Sure,” Bocchi says. “Wait.”
Bocchi turns around. “Kikuri-oneesan?”
The woman with the wine-red hair pauses; like Ryo, she’s holding a croissant and an ice tea.
“Ah… Is that you, Bocchi-chan?” Kikuri says. She’s not her normal, drunk self; her face is nearly sinking into the collars of her jacket. She’s in her usual sea-green dress.
“What are you doing here?” Ryo asks. “Your liver finally giving up on you?”
“Hey, I’ve trained my liver well,” Kikuri exclaims. “Well… I just have some… hormone problems.”
Ryo gives a curious glance over at Bocchi.
“Why are you here anyway?” Kikuri asks. “And why is Bocchi-chan dressed like Kita-chan? She’s so cute!”
“She is cute,” Ryo says. Bocchi blushes; she hides her face in her hair.
“Well, I’m just here to see the doctor,” Bocchi squeaks.
“Oh, what else could you be doing?” Kikuri replies, sarcastic. “Don’t tell me you’ve skipped school on a Wednesday to eat terrible hospital food.”
“Oh, this is the best croissant I’ve ever had,” Ryo jokes. “It’s good enough to skip school for. And you know, my tastiness sensor never fails.”
Kikuri laughs.
They sit in silence for a bit.
“You know, sometimes I worry about how sluggish the healthcare system is getting,” Kikuri says. “They say we have an ageing population, and it’s important that public healthcare is affordable, but y’know, when I first needed help for my… um… hormone problems… I had to wait months! Months can mean life and death you know…”
“Let me guess,” Ryo says. “They really have to do something about the pension system?”
“Yeah, they really have to do something about the pension system!” Kikuri exclaims. “If healthcare is getting expensive for older folk, how are they going to get by? And do they expect people in my generation to pay for healthcare for my elders? Heck, I can’t even pay for myself…”
“That’s because you keep smashing stuff,” Ryo quips. “Ginjiro-san keeps adding costs to your tab.”
“Hey, I can’t help it,” Kikuri says. “I’m getting therapy anyway. Seika keeps asking me to quit. Says I’m a bad influence on Bocchi.”
Bocchi blushes.
“Apparently the happiness spiral is straining my liver,” Kikuri quips. “The doctor was like, why not try antidepressants… but I did and I couldn’t work for a week.”
“The guitar needs our wellspring of angst,” Ryo jokes. “To be the emoest emo band from Shimokita, you have to be emo?”
“B-but, you don’t need to be depressed!” Bocchi interjects.
“I’ve seen your lyrics,” Ryo says. “Bocchi, you have a wellspring of angst inside you. It’s only Kita’s cheeriness that adds to the contrast.”
Whether that’s good or bad, I can’t tell, Ryo thinks.
The three finish up their breakfast, and clean up after themselves.
Bocchi and Ryo make their way to the endocrinologist’s lounge, and they notice the woman in the wine-red hair trailing with.
Bocchi seemed confused, at first. She’d had her suspicions as to why Kikuri was here, at the hospital, going in the same direction as her.
“Are we going the same way?” Bocchi asks.
“Maybe. I’m headed to the endocrinology department,” Kikuri replies.
Bocchi laughs, nervously. Well, it could be anything. After all, the endocrinologist saw many other patients; people with thyroid problems, diabetes, and issues with metabolism…
Still, though, Bocchi would start to notice a significant number of people like her on Wednesdays. There was a clique of four trans girls that Bocchi never spoke to, that always sat in a row when Bocchi was around. She would hide herself from view and quietly observe them with Kita or her mother.
It was fascinating to see their relationships evolve; two of them held hands at one session, and at the next, they stopped sitting in a row.
Bocchi wonders what caused their friendships to implode. She wonders if that would happen to Kessoku, at some point.
“Dammit,” Ryo says, as they pause at the entrance to the clinic. She turns to Kikuri. “You’re trans too, right?”
Fuck. Kikuri has this look of surprise on her. She groans.
“Oh, no… I come to the gender clinic ironically, y’know… to get some gender… ironically! Of course!” Kikuri feigns ignorance as she laughs. “I’m definitely cis! Definitely cis. I just have some hormone problems.”
“I think we all need our gaydars checked,” Bocchi replies.
The three laugh, and settle in a row.
The wait is long, as the clinic fills up with patients; some old, in walkers, some middle-aged, and a handful of children.
Early morning children’s anime is playing on the TV screen; an old, fuzzy episode of Buyblade. The main character’s voice is a tinny undecipherable sound; his red anime hair a fuzzy deep red. A top spins, its fuzzy smear frame made even fuzzier with static interference.
On occasion, a chime would ring out, and a number would flash on another screen, indicating that the doctor would see another patient.
Ryo is absent-mindedly scrolling on Tumbla. She sees something, and pauses. She quietly texts Bocchi.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
10:35 AM
Ryo: hey remember we had that commission of us drawn in anime style
Bocchi: yeah….
Bocchi: wait why aren’t you talking w
Bocchi: you’re right next to me
Bocchi: very unlike you acshahj
Ryo: not the point
Ryo: anyway someone took the anime drawing that we got of you apparently and overlaid it with the caption
Ryo: “god knew i’d be too powerful if i didn’t have gender dysphoria”
Ryo: in English
Ryo: wwww
Bocchi: what
Bocchi: lemme see
Ryo sends the meme over to Bocchi; the image is an anime-like depiction of Bocchi in her pink tracksuit. She looks intent; her guitar is cropped away; and in the corner there are a stack of TikTak usernames overlaid on each other, as the image has been reshared over and over.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
10:42 AM
Ryo sent an image.
Bocchi: do they know..,.,
Ryo: i don’t think they do. it’s like the fanfics no
Ryo: they just have a wild imagination
Ryo: if only they could see us now ww
Ryo: sitting together at the gender clinic
Bocchi: yeah wattapad and tumbla would go insane…,
Bocchi: have they figured out who you are on tumbla?
Ryo: oh i’m just myself there
Ryo: it’s funny people don’t even think neil gaiman is neil gaiman www
Ryo shows Bocchi her Tumbla page; it’s full of Jujutsu Senkai fanart. Bocchi scrolls down, and notices that Ryo’s reblogged the Bocchi trans meme. She returns to typing angrily on her phone.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
10:50 AM
Bocchi: tf you reblogged it??????
Bocchi: ⁽⁽(੭ꐦ •̀Д•́ )੭*⁾⁾
Ryo bursts out in laughter, drawing the brief attention of a nurse; he shakes his head in disapproval.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
10:50 AM
Ryo: ok ok i’ll delete it
Kikuri glances over at Bocchi’s phone, and notices the meme; she chortles.
“You too, huh?” Kikuri says. “Eh, you’ll get these time and again…”
Bocchi’s phone buzzes.
Bocchi >>> Ryo
10:59 AM
Ryo: hey so
Ryo: you said you met someone like us at FOLT
Ryo: it isn’t kikuri right?
Bocchi: yeah it isn’t
Bocchi: well i still can’t tell you
Bocchi: it’s a secret….,,
Ryo: rrr the wait is so long
Bocchi: yeah i’m really nervous
Kikuri continues talking. “Y’know, back in my day, I wasn’t as popular as y’all were,” she says. “I did get my fair share of memes made of me… one guy was like, ‘I wish I could be like her’. Anyway I texted her and told her to cut it out.”
“Turns out she ran a live house,” Kikuri continues. “Those were some good times.”
Bocchi’s stopped listening, now; she’s noticed a patient leaving the consultation room, and she’s waiting, intently. Ryo’s still scrolling on her Tumbla.
A chime rings out again, and Bocchi’s number - A8255 - flashes on screen.
“Hitori Gotoh,” a nurse reads out.
“Y-yes!” Bocchi squeaks out, and she shoots up.
“Room 2, please.”
Bocchi marches stiffly and robotically to the consultation room in her cream dress, as Ryo follows.