Chapter Text
“So,” Satoru runs his fingers through his own hair, while staring crookedly at Suguru from the top bunk on their bed.
Suguru is sitting down at his desk, typing furiously with a frown on his face, but his headphones aren’t on. No headphones, Satoru’s learned, is Suguru’s sign that he doesn’t mind Satoru pestering him. When he does have headphones on, it means that if Satoru bothers him, he’ll get slapped, at the very least.
“What’s up?” Suguru says, but doesn’t stop typing. His bangs are pinned up, so they don’t fall in his eyes while he’s working. Satoru’s favorite thing is Suguru’s bangs. When they first met as kids, Satoru thought Suguru’s bangs were the weirdest, most eccentric thing he’d ever seen, but he’s grown to love them. They’re just adorable. Plus Satoru loves braiding them.
Twiddling his toes in his socks, Satoru continues, “There’s a mixer on Friday. Wanna go with me?”
A snort comes out of Suguru’s nose, and he finally stops typing to turn around and look up at Satoru. There’s a gleam in his brown eyes, eyes that almost look purple when the sun hits them just right. God, Suguru is so beautiful. He’s so gorgeous. Even when Satoru can tell that a mean/sarcastic remark is about to leave his lips, all he can think about is how much he wants them against his own. “In what world would I ever go to a mixer? Do you know me at all?”
“It’ll be fun, trust me!” Satoru drawls, tapping his fingers on the edge of his bed frame. Tapping his fingers on things is only one of the, probably hundreds, of anxious ticks that Satoru has. Suguru’s the only one who knows how bad Satoru’s anxiety gets, because Suguru is the only person Satoru trusts. The only person Satoru loves. “Don’t you wanna get a girlfriend?”
“No,” Suguru shakes his head and his eyes mull over Satoru like he’s analyzing him. “Do you want to get a girlfriend?”
To be honest, Satoru wants a boyfriend, more specifically, he wants Suguru. But, he doesn’t think Suguru likes him back, and he doesn’t want to compromise their friendship. There’s no point in spending his time pining over his best friend and roommate, what he needs to do is get back on the dating scene. Because, maybe, once he gets a girlfriend, his romantic feelings for Suguru will fade slightly. Then, one day he can be completely over Suguru. Is it shitty to use a girl to get over his best friend? Yeah, probably, but Satoru isn’t known for being a kind person.
The secret, third option, would be for Suguru to find his own girlfriend at the mixer. Satoru would have to get over his feelings then. It’d make his brain finally realize that he has absolutely no chance with Suguru.
“Yeah. I do want a girlfriend. Please come with me?”
Dramatically, Suguru rolls his eyes, and then he grunts, and then he finally gives in, “Fine. Whatever.”
Suguru’s agreement to go with Satoru to the mixer is bittersweet. It means Satoru is officially one step closer in his plan to Get Over His Best Friend (the name for the plan is tentative).
—
The anxiety sort of sets in as Satoru watches Suguru get ready for the mixer. He’d put on a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a vintage Nirvana shirt that he’d thrifted, and it’s the most basic outfit, but Suguru, gorgeous, beautiful, and perfect, makes it look like something a model would wear. Suguru is a fucking model. When he reaches up to redo the bun on the top of his head, a small sliver of moisturized, shiny pale skin peeks out and makes Satoru’s mouth dry.
Satoru tears his eyes away from Suguru, and pulls out his phone and pretends to do something on it. He’s not sure he can look at Suguru any more without confessing his feelings or getting annoyingly hard.
“How many people are going?” Suguru wonders aloud.
“Four guys, including us, and four girls,” Satoru answers, keeping his eyes glued to his phone. “The girls are supposed to be really hot.”
Satoru can practically hear the way Suguru rolls his eyes at him. “I don’t care if they’re hot or not. Like I said, I don’t want a girlfriend. I’m only going for you.”
The fondness of the last sentence Suguru says, makes Satoru look up, and they make eye contact. Suguru’s gaze is so soft and sweet. Satoru’s cheeks feel warm, and he really hopes he isn’t blushing. He scratches his chin and laughs, sheepishly, “Yeah, yeah.”
“You seem out of it. You okay?” Suguru asks, tilting his head to the side slightly.
Satoru nods. He has to do this. He has to. Or else his feelings for Suguru were going to ruin their friendship, and Suguru seriously is the only person that Satoru feels comfortable around. “Nervous.”
People who didn’t know Satoru well would probably say, You? Satoru Gojo? Nervous? But, Suguru knows Satoru, so, instead he says, “It’ll be fine. I’ll be there with you. And if we get there and you start feeling uncomfortable, tap my shoulder, and I’ll make up an excuse for us both to leave. Okay?”
“Okay,” Satoru’s stomach flips. He loves it when Suguru talks to him like he’s something precious. He shoots Suguru a toothy grin to show him that he’s fine, that he’s ready, and then he stands up from his desk chair. “Let’s go.”
—
The mixer is at some karaoke place.
The second they sit down across from the girls, Satoru scoots as close as he possibly can to Suguru. It’s grounding. Satoru loves the heat of Suguru’s thigh, and he loves the way Suguru doesn’t finch away from Satoru at all, and how a light hum comes from his throat, like, as if he enjoys Satoru’s touch as much as Satoru enjoys Suguru’s.
“I’m Ieiri Shoko,” A girl with deep bags under her eyes is the first to introduce herself, holding out a hand to Suguru first. She’s pretty, Satoru can’t lie, she has a hard jawline and long lashes and a negative canthal tilt, and she’s probably Suguru’s type. “Pre-med student. Nice to meet you.”
“Geto Suguru, psychology student,” Suguru shakes her hand, and the handshake lasts for a beat too long, which sends a chill down Satoru’s spine. Is Suguru seriously interested in this girl? Is he—wait, this is what Satoru wanted, right? For Suguru to find someone? It’s the best option. It’ll help Satoru get over him.
“And you?” Shoko turns her dark gaze over to Satoru, and raises her eyebrows. She repeats her question when Satoru doesn’t answer, “Your name?”
“Gojo Satoru,” He mumbles, very aware of the fact that Ieiri hadn’t offered her hand to Satoru to shake like she had with Suguru.
Shoko gets all of the guys to introduce themselves. There’s the guy who’d originally invited Satoru, Haibara Yu, a sweetheart and the purest person that Satoru had ever met in his life. And, Yu’s best friend, who Satoru’d met a couple times, Nanami Kento. Nanami’s pretty cold, but from Satoru’s friendship with Suguru, he knows not to count a person out because of what they seem like on the outside. Especially since Nanami is a close friend of Yu’s, and Yu is sunshine personified, that means Nanami has to be a decent guy.
And then the rest of the girls introduce themselves. There’s Mei Mei, a fashion major, who’s tall and confident, and has a full face of makeup on. Then, there’s Yuki, a business major, who’s blonde, and seems drunk. There’s Utahime, an education major, who’s soft spoken with long hair and a noticeable scar in the middle of her face, she looks like she doesn’t want to be there, she was most likely dragged there by a friend like Suguru was. And if the glances Utahime kept giving to Shoko were any indication, Shoko is that friend.
They all talk, and laugh, and they get along as a group well. Satoru starts to think that he had no reason to be nervous in the first place. Until Shoko and Suguru start sharing looks, and it starts making Satoru feel left out, like Suguru is starting to like someone more than him. His leg starts bouncing under the table.
“Sato,” Suguru whispers into Satoru’s ear, and the warmth of it makes him lightheaded. “Anxious?”
“No,” Satoru lies. It’d be embarrassing to ruin the mixer over his own jealousy. “Having fun. You?”
“Yeah, this is a lot of fun,” Suguru smiles, and by the way his eyes crinkle at the edges tell Satoru that he’s being genuine. “I’m glad I came.”
Those words open a pit in Satoru’s stomach.
Fuck.
He scans all the girls, excluding Shoko, because she and Suguru are very disgustingly obviously interested in each other and Satoru isn’t the type of guy to go after the girl his best friend likes. Mei Mei is a little too forward, batting her eyelashes at Satoru every two minutes. Yuki is too sarcastic. And Utahime is definitely not interested in dating anyone there. So, this is a bust for him. But at least it’s going well for Suguru. Even if that makes him want to die.
They do karaoke, and Suguru is perfect at it, with his smooth deep voice. Shoko can’t take her eyes off him. No one can. Not even Satoru.
And then, it’s time to go.
Shoko and Suguru are the only ones who exchange numbers. The pit in Satoru’s stomach deepens.
“You like her?” Satoru asks, as they walk back to their dorm, balling his hands into fists until it starts to sting.
Suguru furrows his eyebrows at Satoru, “Who? Shoko?”
“Yeah. I’ve never seen you look at a girl like that before.” Satoru’s breath hitches in his throat. “I’m happy for you. Y’know?”
All Suguru does is shake his head, which confirms his feelings for Shoko to Satoru.
Fuck.
That night Satoru lies awake, staring at his ceiling and listening to Suguru’s light snores. He’s so confused. He doesn’t know what he wants anymore. He wants to keep Suguru all to himself, but if he does that then his feelings are only going to get worse, and then it’ll jeopardize their friendship. But the thought of Suguru spending more time with Shoko makes him feel like he’s dying. He’s so confused.
—
The next time Satoru hears about Shoko is a week later when he and Suguru are at the dining hall eating lunch together.
Satoru’s shoving rice into his mouth, when he notices that Suguru is unusually quiet. He looks over at Suguru, and he’s texting someone on his phone with a soft smile on his face. Satoru’s stomach flips, in a bad way. He swallows his rice, “Who are you texting?”
“Oh,” Suguru’s ears turn red and he quickly sets his phone face-down on the table. He doesn’t make eye contact with Satoru, and says, “Remember Shoko? From the mixer?”
Satoru runs a hand through his hair, and stops himself from saying anything he’d regret.
“We’ve been talking and.. she’s really cool.”
Satoru nods, and swallows again, even though there’s nothing in his throat. “Oh. That’s good.”
“I was thinking that we should hang out sometime? As a group?”
“What?” Satoru forces the words out, they sound more venomous than he’d intended. “You, me and Shoko?”
“And Utahime,” Suguru says, pushing his bangs behind his ear, with an awkward smile on his face. He’s serious. “It’d be fun. We can all get to know each other better.”
“If you and Shoko want to go on a date, you don’t have to make it into a group thing.” Satoru bites the inside of his cheek. He seriously, seriously, seriously, doesn’t want to be around Shoko and Suguru while they’re making goo-goo eyes at each other. If they’re going to be together, fine, whatever, but, Satoru can’t be with them as well. “Leave me out of it.”
Suguru narrows his eyes at Satoru, “I think you’d like her if you actually gave her a chance. You can’t only hang out with me forever. You need other friends.”
“I have other friends,” Satoru pouts, even though he really doesn’t. But it’s because he doesn’t need anyone else in his life besides Suguru. Doesn’t Suguru understand that? Fuck, no, of course he doesn’t, because he doesn’t feel the same way towards Satoru. Satoru would be satisfied with only being in Suguru’s presence for the rest of his life, but Suguru wouldn’t be satisfied with only Satoru’s presence.
“Come on,” Suguru nudges Satoru’s shoulder, “Don’t you trust me?”
Satoru trusts Suguru too much. He sets his fork down and says, “Fine. I'll hang out with them.”
—
That’s how Satoru ends up sitting in a booth at a bar on campus, with Suguru beside him, and Shoko and Utahime across from him. He’s on his third or fourth drink, he hasn’t been keeping count. He hates the taste of alcohol, but he knew he’d need it to get through the night. Suguru’s arm is around his shoulder (because Satoru couldn't stop swaying side to side and he was about to lose his balance), and Satoru loves it, he hopes that Shoko is jealous.
He leans into Suguru’s touch.
Suguru’s talking to the girls about something, Satoru isn’t paying attention. He takes a sip of his drink, and then tries to wave someone down to get another one.
“Satoru,” Suguru mumbles, ruffling his hair. It feels good. “You don’t need any more.”
Satoru sticks out his tongue, “I’m the one paying.”
“Still,” Suguru’s eyes are filled with concern.
“Fine,” Satoru says, unable to argue with Suguru when he looks at him like that. He’s so pretty. He’s so pretty. Satoru wants to tell him that he’s so beautiful. Satoru wants to run his mouth along Suguru’s jawline, and kiss his cheeks, and his nose, and his forehead, and hold him and make him feel loved. Satoru wants to—
“So, Satoru, you never told us your major?” Shoko says, and the sound of her voice makes Satoru frown.
“It’s business,” Satoru says, trying not to seem annoyed. It’s not Shoko’s fault that Suguru likes her, he has to keep reminding himself. Shoko’s probably a cool girl. She’s fine. But she can’t have Suguru. She can’t take him away from Satoru.
“Sick,” Shoko grins, “You tryna run a company or something after you graduate?”
“I guess,” Satoru’s only doing business because that’s what his family wants him to do. Get a business degree, and then take over the family business. If he doesn’t do what they want, they’ll cut him off financially and he’ll have to fend for himself, and he doesn’t want to do that.
“I hate business majors,” Utahime unnecessarily adds to the conversation. She’s been downing beer after beer after beer, but she still seems one hundred percent sober. Satoru almost wishes he had her tolerance. He has terrible genes when it comes to alcohol. “Never met one who wasn’t corrupt.”
Satoru rolls his eyes at her, “What’s your major again? Biology?” Utahime nods. “What’re you gonna do with that? Live in poverty?”
Utahime looks like she’s about to bust a fuse.
That makes Satoru laugh.
Suguru pinches his shoulder lightly, but he’s smiling too.
Satoru loves Suguru’s smile. When they’re around other people he never shows any teeth and it’s always tight-lipped, but when he’s with Satoru, when Satoru makes him laugh, he shows his teeth, his beautiful, perfectly imperfect, teeth. His front two are chipped from the time they tried skateboarding as kids and Suguru fell face-first into the concrete (Satoru still feels bad about that).
“Play nice boys,” Shoko says, taking a sip of Utahime’s beer.
“Sorry,” Suguru says, not looking sorry at all. “It was funny.”
Satoru grins. Suguru thinks he’s funny. Hah. Take that Shoko.
After that, Satoru loosens up, and he actually talks to Shoko and Utahime and they’re honestly fun to be around. Shoko has a similar sense of humor to him. Utahime is a little bit too sensitive but she’s not bad at all. Satoru doesn’t mind them. He’d, maybe, consider being friends with them if Suguru didn’t have a crush on Shoko.
“Let’s definitely do this again,” Shoko says, when they’re standing outside about to go their separate ways.
Suguru nods and smiles at her, “Yeah, of course. This was fun.”
Satoru nods, “Yeah.”
Utahime’s pouting but Satoru can tell she had fun too.
Shoko and Utahime start heading to their dorm, and Suguru and Satoru do the same.
“You gonna ask her out?” Satoru asks, while they’re walking. The cold made him sober up a bunch. He doesn't even feel drunk anymore. He should've taken a shot before they left or something. Now he can't stop thinking about Suguru and Shoko liking each other.
Suguru’s nose and cheeks are slightly rosy from the cold wind hitting his face, and it makes him look so adorable. He grunts, “Satoru, shut up.”
Satoru thinks it’s hilarious when Suguru tries to be mean to him, ‘cause he can never commit to the bit. He grins, “You can tell me if you’re gonna ask her out, I’ll be your wingman.”
“We just met,” Suguru says, rubbing his nose.
Satoru hums, “That doesn’t mean you can’t ask her out.”
A beat of silence passes, and then Suguru changes the topic, “Did you know we’re getting a guest speaker next week? Apparently it’s some famous author…”
—
Satoru can’t remember when they started doing this, but some days, Suguru would either come up to his bunk or Satoru would go down to Suguru’s bunk, and they’d cuddle up together and watch some dumb tv show on Suguru’s computer. Those days are Satoru’s favorite, because sometimes, Suguru will rub his back and it makes Satoru feel so cared for.
Today, Suguru climbs up to Satoru’s bunk after he’s done showering, “What do you wanna watch?”
“Something funny,” Satoru rolls over to make room for Suguru. They’re about the same height, but Suguru goes to the gym a lot so he has a bit more muscle than Satoru does. That’s probably why girls like him so much more. That and the fact that Suguru’s personality is a lot more palatable than Satoru’s. Suguru is just.. so kind. So caring. So wonderful.
Suguru opens his laptop and pulls up a cartoon. After he hits play, he turns to Satoru, their noses almost touching. “You did have fun earlier, right?”
“Yeah,” Satoru says, forcing himself to keep his eyes locked on Suguru’s and not to look down to his mouth. Don’t make things weird. “I like Shoko. She’s Satoru approved. Go for it.”
“I,” Suguru starts, “Well, you know, I’ve never been in a relationship before. So, I guess I’m worried.”
Satoru nods, “Yeah. I get that. But,” he tries to smile, “You’re a great guy, and she obviously likes you too.”
Suguru smiles and hums.
Satoru loves him. God, he loves him so much. In a perfect world, they’d date, and get married, and be in love forever. In a perfect world, Suguru would glance at his lips right now, and pull him in for a passionate kiss, and they wouldn’t stop making out until they both had to breathe.
And then, Satoru has an idea. It’s a stupid idea. It’s a horrible idea. But it’s the only way he can think of to keep Suguru close to him. He blurts out the words before he can stop himself, “Have you ever kissed anyone before?”
Suguru’s eyes widen slightly, and then he shakes his head, “No, why?”
“I can,” Satoru stammers, “I can help.”
“Huh?” Suguru tilts his head to the side, looking amused. “What are you talking about?”
“If you want to practice on me? Er, I can show you how to kiss. So, then, when you go to kiss Shoko, she’ll be impressed.”
There’s something in Suguru’s eyes now. He blinks slowly, and then he says, “Are you joking?”
“No,” Satoru frowns, “I’m being serious. I want to help.”
Suguru doesn’t say anything for a moment. And then he quietly says, “Okay. Teach me.”
Satoru hadn’t actually thought that Suguru would say yes, so he’s a little taken aback. He actually gets to kiss Suguru? Sure, it’s not really in the way that he wants to, it’s not going to be romantic, it’s going to be a platonic kiss and it’s only to teach him how to kiss someone else, but, he gets to kiss Suguru. His mouth gets to be against Suguru’s? He’s the luckiest man alive.
“Right, well,” Satoru tries to think back to the last time he kissed someone. It was a random guy at a frat party he went to a few months ago, and the entire time they kissed he was thinking about it being Suguru’s mouth. The first thing he did to the guy, was put his hand on the side of his face. So, Satoru does the same to Suguru. He gently puts his hand on Suguru’s jaw, and he can feel the way Suguru shivers at the touch. “Is this okay?”
Suguru nods, and keeps eye contact with Satoru. “Keep going.”
Satoru licks his lips, and then glances at Suguru’s. All he wants to do is make Suguru feel good. This has to be the best kiss ever. He starts by putting his lips against the corner of Suguru’s mouth and pressing a kiss there, and slowly, inches towards Suguru’s lips.
Their mouths slot together perfectly, as if they were meant to be against each other.
A small noise comes out of Suguru’s mouth, and it’s the hottest thing Satoru’s ever heard in his entire life.
Satoru starts off soft, not wanting to scare Suguru away, but then Suguru’s hands find Satoru’s waist and squeeze there, and Satoru can’t stop himself from deepening the kiss. He gently pushes his tongue into Suguru’s mouth, and Suguru lets him, and they both push closer and closer to each other, to the point where Satoru isn’t sure where he starts and Suguru ends.
“Satoru,” Suguru pulls away for a moment, face flushed and breathing hard. He looks way too cute like this. “One second.”
Satoru grins, sort of happy that he’s the one who got Composed Suguru to look so flustered. He bet Shoko couldn’t get Suguru like this.
“You’re, um, good at this,” Suguru says, while he’s catching his breath.
“You’re not bad yourself,” Satoru says, cheekily. “A little more practice and you’ll be good to go with Shoko.”
“Ah, yeah,” Suguru says. “Yeah. Shoko.”
“Ready to go again?” Satoru asks.
Suguru nods. “Yeah, I'm ready.”