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"Face it, you guys. He's gone. Rox ain't coming back.."
Axel grimaced, tucking himself back a little further as if attempting to become one with the wall, wishing for the hundredth time that he hadn't gotten lumped in with the group of 'Roxas's friends.'
"I don't think he wanted to be found anyway."
Maybe it was just him reading into things too much, but he swore one of the group shot him a look. And for the dozenth time since their little gathering had met back, he wanted to spit that he'd had nothing to do with it. That him and Roxas were best friends.
Chances were though any attitude would only fuel whatever fire they were building.
He was probably tired. Hell, they all were after spending the last… who knew how many hours over a week, searching high and low through their little town, spreading out into the surrounding woods when that had proved futile. Trekking on even in the incessant downpour that had started the minute Axel had set foot outside of the town limits, that hadn't let up since.
Now, it was Friday. They were all mud covered and exhausted. And had nothing to show for it to boot.
"At least…" someone hesitantly spoke. "It seems like he's probably… alive."
"Yeah," the rest of the crew agreed with muted enthusiasm.
"Otherwise, we'd surely have found… his…" the person who'd been speaking, one of the search and rescue crew that had been brought in, trailed off at the withering glares.
"Right," someone agreed. "That. We didn't find that, so he's fine."
"Probably just wanted to get out of this sleepy little town…"
"Sure, but he could have at least told someone." That definitely was a pointed look at Axel. "Or at least his friends or something." That got another murmured agreement.
The meeting broke up shortly afterward and Axel headed back home, towards the rundown apartment buildings downtown, weaving his way through the suburbs, pausing at the fence to Roxas's parents' house. The window to the room where the boy slept was lit up, even late into the evening. It'd be on all night. Something about Roxas finding his way back, according to his mom.
Axel was missing his best friend. He couldn't imagine not knowing the fate of a son. How much it would hurt to have a child you raised disappear without any sort of goodbye.
Roxas hadn't even left his parents a note.
With a sigh, Axel turned and walked on, letting his feet carry him along the familiar path.
But how? How could Roxas just up and walk away from everyone? His friends he'd known since childhood. His parents, who'd loved him unconditionally. And Axel?
A week and a half ago, he'd been planning to ask Roxas out after a revelation he'd had over some passing comment from Roxas's mom. After he'd thought over every detail of the past year or so of them together. The brushes of hands. How Roxas had taken to leaning against him when they sat together playing games. How they'd said screw it and just started sharing a bed whenever they had sleepovers. How they'd share every last detail of whatever had been troubling them. The lingering hugs they shared when they did part.
And maybe it was a little stuck up of him to say, but how could Roxas just walk away from all that?
But the missing things from Roxas's room certainly lead everyone to believe that he did.
For a while.
Axel had figured that the gossip would die down after a while. But in a small town, what else was there to talk about? And pretty soon rumors started turning nasty.
He heard the first one from behind the counter of the dingy little pastry shop he worked at.
"Yeah, but what if Roxas didn't run off on his own?"
"What? Like he ran off and got hitched? Ain't no one else in this town missing."
Tossing the rag he'd been wiping the counter with to the wayside, he scooped up the broom, marched around the counter and began sweeping underneath the tables all around the occupied one.
"Come on. As if. You've seen him with a struggle bat. As if he'd let someone kidnap him."
"Yeah, but what if someone did?"
"And take half his stuff too?" The customer waved a dismissive hand.
"Yeah? To throw us off the trail, stupid."
"Oh, you know it's rumored that it's mostly clothes missing. I'm telling you he eloped. "
"Bull."
Coming to the realization he'd been standing far too close, sweeping in one spot for too long of a moment, he interrupted the pair with a quick, "can I get you guys anything?"
They both started, going wide eyed as they took him in before muttering twin sorries and nos. And when they both fell silent, Axel returned to his place behind the counter.
The two customers left shortly after with long backwards glances at him.
The next came when he was hanging with a group of his old high school friends, meeting up in the one decent diner in town.
He only caught bits and pieces between conversations as people wandered between the tables they were scattered among.
"Maybe Roxas ran off because he was afraid."
Axel's attention was immediately drawn to two tables over. He didn't crane his neck though, but listened hard, staring into space over the shoulder of the friend in front of him as they talked away with wide gestures.
"Of what?" their tablemate snorted a laugh. "Dying alone or some shit?"
"Maybe. Or maybe he was scared of someone… someone a little too… intense"
"C'mon. There's nothing to worry about. It's not as if he'd give the time of day to someone like Roxas."
"You've heard the rumors… what if he—"
"Dude, shut up. Or at least don't look at him when you're saying that."
"At who?"
"You know. Isn't he who you're talking about?"
"What? Axel?"
"Dude! He's going to hear you."
Axel remained still. Gritting his teeth. That would explain why he'd been getting looks like he was a demon as of late.
But the worst was the day he'd spent a few minutes talking with Roxas's parents at the grocery store one Sunday. It felt like everyone tended to do their shopping on Sundays, so the already tiny store was full of folk weaving in and out around them.
Roxas's parents were kind as always, inviting him over for dinner that evening, as they always did. But Axel declined, still not quite ready to be back in the house he'd spent so much time together with the blond.
But he thanked them and went on his way.
And swore some folk almost seemed… afraid of him. That whispers followed him around. Snippets that Axel would catch before people turned away.
"Him? You think?"
"They were always together…"
"...always been so… intense and…"
"...afraid of him too, but…"
He never could catch a whole sentence though, either people would go quiet, or hurry out of the aisle whenever he got close.
The whispers continued as did the avoidance, leaving Axel feeling like a pariah. He stayed home more and more often, until he was only venturing out when he had to either for work or groceries.
But finally, one evening, he received a call, saved to his phone under 'Roxas's mom,' Axel answered immediately, heart hammering, blood rushing so loud in his ears that he barely heard the hello.
"Is something wrong?"
He'd been waiting for a call for almost six months. Waiting for someone to tell him that Roxas had been found. Alive or dead. God, he hoped this wasn't going to be the second, but after all the time that had passed…
"We wanted to invite you over for dinner, sweetheart. Everytime I see you, I swear you keep getting thinner. I'm worried sick about you."
Axel chewed on a bit of dead skin on his bottom lip. She had always treated him like another son. And it wasn't like he'd had his own parents to turn to… "Yeah," he blurted out. "Sure. What time?"
"Is six thirty too early?"
"No, ma'am." Axel slumped down into an armchair as the adrenaline faded away. "I'll be there."
"Good, good. You liked my chicken, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Axel's head sagged back. "Thanks."
"I'll see you in a little, Axel."
"Yeah, you too."
Suddenly exhausted, Axel hung up the phone, letting his arm fall, device tumbling to the floor.
That night was going to be rough.
He made it over to Roxas's with little incident, and was greeted at the door by a small blond woman who immediately enveloped him in a warm hug.
"Good to see you again, Axel."
"You too," he hugged back, tears almost welling up at the contact. He didn't think he'd been hugged since before Roxas had vanished.
She let him in, disappearing back into the kitchen with a small wave. Axel joined Roxas's dad on the couch, staring blankly at the TV, thankful the man had never said much before.
Dinner itself was a quiet affair as well, Axel sharing a little of what had been going on at work upon prompting, and Roxas's mom chatted pleasantly about her little garden out back.
But after dinner, she pulled him aside, offering out a small, well worn notebook.
Axel took it, staring down at the front cover, tracing his fingers over the neatly printed lettering proclaiming:
Roxas's Journal.
Do Not Touch.
This means you, mom.
"This…"
"I… finally found the strength to go in and found it when I was making his bed," she spoke low, staring at the floor, hands folded in front of her.
Axel's gut twisted. There was some sense of finality in holding the little book. In knowing that his mom was moving forward. "He's not dead." The words came out harsh and Roxas's mom flinched back.
"I know… it's just… It's hard."
Axel could have kicked himself. Maybe people did have a reason to be afraid of him.
"I'm sorry," Axel slumped.
"Don't be. I know this has been hard on you too," she took his hand with a gentle squeeze. "You're practically family too. Take care of yourself… for him? Ok?"
"I… will."
"And know that I don't believe a word of what they're saying."
Axel's entire body went cold. "I-I would never—"
"Sweetheart. He loves you. You love him. I know you'd never hurt a hair on his body."
At that he swore his heart was about to skip right out of his body. "Yeah, thanks."
"Now," she gently nudged the journal in his hand. "I couldn't bring myself to invade his privacy like that. But I feel like he'd trust you with it. And maybe…" she trailed off before whispering, "you can figure out what happened."
Axel didn't open the journal that night. Or for another half a year. Not until Roxas's parents had moved out, back to his dad's hometown to be with his aging parents. Roxas's mom made him swear that if Roxas ever returned, to call her. And he promised she'd be the first to know.
It was the first night that the house sat completely empty that he pulled the journal out, throwing it and a flashlight into a bag, heading out shortly after midnight.
To his surprise, the window to Roxas's old room slid open easily and with a quick look around, Axel climbed over the ledge as he'd done many times before back in their high school days.
He shut the window behind him, took two steps into the room and hit his knees with a choked sob. Despite the room being stripped back to bare bones, Roxas's presence still lingered.
He doubled over and sobbed; arms curled around his aching chest.
After some unknown time had passed, he came back to himself curled into a ball in the middle of the room. He dragged himself over to the corner that Roxas's bed used to sit, propping himself against the wall as he dug out the journal, and holding a tiny flashlight between his teeth he began to read.
At first it was mundane entries. Never full-page entries, but day after day of snippets into Roxas's late high school life. Quick little one or two line notes about his thoughts and feelings. The rejections from colleges. The acceptances that he couldn't afford without scholarships that his parents income bracket seemed to just be over. A brief period of fixation on 'getting out of this shitty town.'
One thing seemed to be a permanent fixture to the boy though. Axel. Little spots where Axel kept seeing his name pop up.
Axel graduates next week. A whole year without getting to hang with him between classes is going to suck.
---
Lunch with my new friends is weird. They're not… well, they're not Axel. But they're ok I guess?
---
Axel said the college didn't deserve me anyway. He used a word that mom says I'm not supposed to. I always like it when he does. Somehow makes me feel rebellious.
---
Me and Axel hung out for lunch again. Snuck out to go sit in his car and talk. He's so cool for having a car.
---
Another scholarship that I can't get. Axel said I could just go live with him after high school and we could be broke together. It sounds really nice. I want that so bad.
Then he said he'd move wherever I needed him to if I had a college in mind. He's a real good friend. I told him I'd do the same for him. I hope it wasn't too much.
---
Axel was at graduation. It was good to see him. He looked really good all dressed up.
Pages and pages full of notes to pour over.
Axel lowered the journal at the end of the high school section, staring across the room at the empty closet. All this time, he'd figured those times in the past that Roxas's mom had said that they loved each other, she'd meant as friends. And sure, Axel had dreamed... Hoped. Was so close to daring to believe that Roxas could even want to date him back then...But this… Maybe he shouldn't have put off asking the boy out. Maybe things would have been different. Or he was reading into things too much again.
He had to continue.
Perhaps it was stupidly self-centered, but he'd wanted to find everything that would paint himself in a good light. Make sure he wasn't the monster that people thought he was. Make sure Roxas really wasn't afraid of him. That maybe Roxas truly had cared about him in the way he was reading.
No one ever tells you exactly how your first crush will feel. Or if they do, it's some weird generic 'ok you'll know' bullshit. But I never thought it'd feel like this.
Axel's breath caught. It was the start of a rare long entry, and he almost had to force himself to read on, afraid of seeing someone else's name on that page.
No one ever told me I'd be an adult either. Always figured it'd be some kid stuff. Some cute guy in gym class or whatever. Axel never knew that some of my other friends gave me shit. Called me weird.
Axel. I always talk about him, don't I? I look back through here and see his name everywhere. So maybe I was just stupid for not noticing sooner. I mean he never dated either! Probably not for a lack of trying. What with how stupid pretty he's gotten. I told him I liked how long his hair was and I think he looked at me weird.
Maybe I'm not interesting to him. I mean… why would I be?
Axel gently shook the notebook, wishing he could reach through and tell the past Roxas that he was the most interesting person that Axel had ever and would probably ever know.
---
Sometimes I wish I could stay over more with Axel. He's got his own little apartment across town. He says it's rundown, but I think it's perfect. I could spend all day with him.
---
Hayner says that I'm being stupid. He says my crush will never like some stupid simpering thing and that I should shut up about him already. And I guess I do talk a lot about Ax him. I just… I really like him.
---
Got to hang with Axel today. He's been busy with his job but brought over some cookies he'd made. Double chocolate with caramel chips. Just for me he said. But I think I'm getting my hopes up. He makes stuff for everyone. But does it really hurt anyone if I pretend?
---
God, Axel looked so good today. I don't know what he was all dressed up for. And I'd never tell him to his face, but his body in that suit is to die for. I'd love to get my hands on
That entry trailed off into a mess of scribbles over whatever had originally been written.
---
I'm stupid. Told Axel he looked good, and he ruffled my hair. Olette says that he probably sees me as a kid. I'm only a year younger than him! Hayner says it's because I'm still living at home with my parents. But housing is expensive. And I don't really know if I want to take Hayner up of his offer to be roommates. He can be a bit harsh… but to be fair, he's usually just telling the truth.
---
Hayner tried to kiss me today. I about punched him. Shoved him though. One of his friends told me to stop being so hung up on a person that wouldn't ever give me the time of day if we hadn't grown up together. That Hayner was a good guy, and I should give him a chance. I used Axel's words. Told him to fuck off.
Axel couldn't help but chuckle. "Attaboy, Rox."
---
I want out of here. This house. This town.
---
I want to leave. But not without him.
---
Spent some more time over at Axel's today. It was weird really nice. We sat side by side and watched a movie. And he didn't push me away when I leaned into him.
---
Got a gnarly bruise yesterday boarding home from work. Pence asked if Axel had done it. If he'd finally shown his true colors. Don't know what he's talking about. Axel wouldn't hurt me.
Axel teasingly kissed it better, just like he did when we were kids. Only this time, it made my stomach flip. Butterflies, I think. Can't tell him that though.
Several more entries passed by much of the same. Roxas testing his boundaries, and Axel seeming to tolerate him. At least according to the boy, and his friends who seemed to like to chime in. Anxiety bubbled up in Axel's belly at the dates flying by in the corners, drawing ever closer to the date of Roxas's disappearance.
They laughed at me when I said I was going to ask Axel out. Every last one of them. And sure. I'm not all that good looking. Or tall. Or thin. Or… well anything I guess. I kinda see where they were coming from. Why would someone so amazingly gorgeous, so brilliantly perfect, ever be interested in a pathetic thing like me?
---
I should leave. Then maybe I can forget him. Stop being creepy and obsessive or whatever it was Hayner said to me. It's almost laughable to think that I even had a chance. And now that all my friends know, they won't stop giving me shit.
But I guess I deserve that too.
---
Olette pulled me aside today. Said she didn't want to talk in front of Hayner. Didn't want to listen to him bitch about how I'm deluded. She asked how Axel didn't creep me out. Said he was always so intense. Scary. I didn't get it. Axel's always been passionate about things he cares about. But it was never overwhelming. I laughed her off when she told me to be careful.
---
No one can make up their damn minds. Yes, I'm this pathetic piece of shit. Someone like Axel is out of my league. I get it.
But then others turn around and accuse every bump and bruise I get on Axel. He would never touch me like that! Just ask my friends, they'll tell you I'm not worth it or some bull.
I just wish he'd love me half as much as I love him. But he'd never love someone so insufferably infatuated.
---
It hurt to read.
Roxas had put him on a pedestal. Practically worshipped him. Become so broken over it... and kept it all inside. Why?
"Why, Rox..." Axel sniffled, rubbing at one eye. "What happened to 'best friends share everything?"
I'm leaving. I can't stand being in this town any longer. My friends are right. All I do is cause trouble. For my them. Probably for my parents. Definitely for Axel. I don't want people thinking he's some horrible abusive person just for spending time with me. I don't want him to deal with the trouble that comes with my stupid love.
Fuck this place.
I'm sorry, Axel. I never meant for this to get so bad. Hopefully you'll never know. Hopefully everyone will stop talking about you so bad once I'm gone.
Beneath the final line, the bottom of the page was torn off, but if Axel held the light just right, he could see the indent from the pen on the next page.
A very large 'pack journal' with a heavy underline.
It's at that point the pages started to singe beneath Axel's fingers as everything sunk in.
Instead of building Roxas up, all his so-called friends had done was tear him down even further. No matter what he could have done, there was no way to win.
Axel remained sitting in Roxas's room, flipping back and forth between pages, but not even the innocent, light-hearted infatuation at the beginning of the journal quelled Axel's building anger. Flecks of ash fluttered to the floor as pages singed. The carpet around him began to smolder before finally flaring to life right around the time that Axel started laughing, somewhere between broken and maniacal. His fingertips began to glow, spreading down to his palms and with a flash, Roxas's journal ignited, burning quickly to ash, falling into Axel's lap.
He brushed away the flakes with hands completely engulfed in flames, and rose to his feet effortlessly, almost floating. Lava boiled beneath his skin when he clenched his fists. White hot tendrils of fire flickering around his heart.
He could brush off those who accused him, who called him an abuser behind his back, knowing deep down that they were all wrong. But Axel didn't matter.
They'd hurt Roxas. The Roxas that so desperately wanted to be with him. Torn him down to nothing at all without a care and laughed.
They thought Axel a murderer?
Fine. What did he have left to lose in his dead-end life?
They would all burn.
"Didn't you say this is where you're from?"
Roxas never thought he'd see the name of his sleepy old hometown on the front page of a national newspaper, but he stared between the page and his manager that had slapped it down in front of him.
Inferno rages through Ashthorne; at least ten dead.
His heart skipped a beat as he yanked the paper towards him, skimming through the article as fast as he could. Through speculations of a gas main explosion due to the sheer destruction of some buildings. Arson based on the varying starting points.
Whatever it was, the small-town fire department had been quickly overwhelmed and had opted to instead evacuate as many as they could to the outskirts before the larger trucks had arrived.
And even with them, as quickly as the fires were put out, more sprang up. And a decision was made once the evacuation was complete to contain the fire to the town, focusing more on not letting it spread to the forest. More on Page A6.
Roxas yanked the paper open to the specified page, mouth dropping in horror. There was barely anything recognizable. Husks of buildings. All the places he used to know. Gone.
He shot to his feet, throwing the paper down. "I have to go back. My parents…" he mumbled, followed by a name he hadn't spoken for nearly a year, "Axel."
"Can't you just call them?"
"I… don't have their numbers."
"Your parents? How?"
"Ran off, remember… they moved at some point, I guess. My old home number doesn't work anymore."
"Ah. Well. You've... got a week of vacation… and it's been slow, so—"
"Yeah," Roxas turned, sprinting towards the door. "Thanks!"
It was surreal, driving down roads that he'd been on with Axel thousands of times before, but now he was the one in the driver's seat. It was quiet. Too quiet. He'd tried to have some sort of noise, but everything on the radio had grated on his nerves until he'd had to turn it off. So, then it was just him, the constant drone of the engine, and his thoughts.
He rounded the final bend, ready to head onto Main Street or what was left of it, only to stop at a barrier bracketed by a pair of cop cars, rolling down the window as they approached. "Uh, evening officers."
"Road's closed."
"Yeah… but… I live here?"
"Then you should know about the evacuation. We should have more information for y'all soon."
"Oh… uh. Right. Thanks, sir…"
He turned around, drove back down the road, then pulled off onto an old side road, following it back into the woods, towards town, where he parked and waited the last little stretch for the cover of nightfall.
He wasn't entirely sure who's backyard he stepped out of the woods into. But all that remained, glowing in the moonlight, was a row of stone foundations, a crumbling trampoline frame, twisted frames of a pair of bikes. And ash. So much ash and soot.
Making his way between two foundations, he steps out onto the street, kicking up ash with every step and he stops, turning slowly, trying to orient himself. But there's not much left where he stands. Not even a street sign.
Closing his eyes, he tugs up his shirt over his nose and mouth before taking a deep breath.
He'd wondered if it would be hard to come back. But he felt… nothing about the leveled suburbs. Only worry about his parents. About Axel.
He was supposed to have forgotten the man in the year he'd been gone. But the redhead had never fully left his mind, not even once.
With another sigh, he set off, scanning the remnants of the suburbs for any hint of where he was headed.
When the rubble changed from foundations to half-shelled buildings, it was a little easier to figure out where he was and he reoriented, passing by the old grocer, turning down a side street. And finally onto Main Street.
Downtown was mostly brick and mortar. So certain buildings were relatively whole. Some with nothing more than windows blown out and interiors scorched. But others were nothing more than a pile of brick and twisted, melted metal.
A left at the pastry shop Axel used to work at, building still relatively whole.
The fire seemed to have run its course though, save for the occasional patch of glowing charcoal.
Roxas pushed on, past the near crater of the diner that he used to hang out at with his friends. Back to the suburbs where he let his feet lead him to the place he used to call home.
It wasn't a complete ruin. There were still a few walls, black and burned, but hanging on.
As he stared at the shell, a pang of hurt ripped through him at the loss. But he never had quite felt at home in the place, and everything he cherished, he'd taken with him. Save for one person...
Taking a deep breath, he tugged his shirt back up and picked his way through the ruin, down what was left of the hall toward... what had been his room. As he drew closer, he realized that there was a light. Bright and flickering against the remains of a wall. In his old room. Or what was left of it.
He expected to see fire, licking up the wall, trying to claim it like it had the rest of his town. But what he found was a ball. A large ball made of fire.
At first, Roxas observed the thing, wondering what on earth could be burning that was a near perfect sphere. Why wasn't it catching the little burnable material that remained as well. Why was it in the space of his old room?
Hesitantly, knowing he was doing something stupid, Roxas picked his way over, noting how the closer he got the more the form looked like... a human figure, engulfed in fire.
That was stupid though. Someone on fire wouldn't be holding so still. It couldn't be human, but Roxas's eyes traced over the planes of its back, across its shoulders, down the back of one arm.
He took another step, slightly to the side of the thing and he could see a leg, and an arm hugging it tight, the hint of a head, everything glowing, not a trace of skin to be seen beneath the licking flames, but roiling magma.
Definitely not human.
He needed to turn around, get back in his car and get the hell out. Worry about finding his parents later.
Turning on his heel, Roxas made to do just that…
Then he heard the crying.
"Are you ok?" Roxas's voice broke through the still night as he turned back, and the figure stiffened, flames kicking up in intensity. He knew it was a stupid question to ask a… thing that appeared to be made of fire. But what else was he supposed to say? The figure didn't respond, so he ventured a step closer. "Excuse me?"
"Go away." The form said, fire angrily licking up their back as they curled tighter. "I don't want to do this anymore."
Roxas took several steps closer, hand drifting up, hovering over the figure as a bead of sweat trailed down his forehead. He... knew that voice. "Do... what?"
Slowly the form straightened up and Roxas's heart stopped in his chest. The thing had a mess of hair, more of a mess than usual with fire licking off the tips of the spiked ends and who knew… he could have cut it all off in the year they were apart. And whatever the thing was had more fire than hair. The red could have just been an illusion of the fire. "A-A—"
"Why are you still here?" The form pushed to their feet. "Do you have a death wish?" Flames licked down their arms, twining around their fingers. They weren't just engulfed in fire. They were fire. Fire and magma. Somehow holding a human shape. A shape Roxas knew in his sleep.
Roxas took a deep breath, and a risk. "Axel? What happened to you?"
The flames around Axel burst into an inferno that had Roxas shielding his eyes. But it died back almost as quickly. And when Roxas lowered his arm, he gasped.
Axel's fire had died back further, leaving molten magma roiling beneath his skin. And Axel hit his knees, some semblance of a face tipped up, looking at him, or rather Roxas guessed. He wasn't sure though. Axel didn't exactly have eyes in whatever state he was in. Just cooling magma, giving some sense of a nose and mouth, burning white hot where his eyes should have been, darkening back into his flame of a mane.
"I'm hallucinating," Axel laughed. "I'm dead. They finally caught me."
"Why do you say that?"
"Why else would the man I love be standing in front of me after all this time."
Roxas stepped closer, ignoring the sweat that broke out along his back. "I'm right here, Ax. What happened?"
"You left." Shaking his head he twisted his hands into his hair, gripping it tight as fire once more flares to life along his shoulders. "I don't deserve this," he choked out on a broken sob. "Or maybe I do… after all the things I've done..."
"Ax…" Heart hammering, Roxas reached a hand between them, and without thinking, he spoke, "I wish… I wish I could see your eyes right now."
Axel flickered. The heat faded away along with the lava, and then Axel dropped, slumping over, catching himself.
And in the light of the overhead moon, Roxas watched as Axel lifted his hands, examining them as he looked between the pair of very human hands, pale skin glowing in the moonlight. "I'm… what happened?" He looked up, around himself before his eyes fell on Roxas. His wonderful, beautiful green eyes. "What have I done ?" Tears fell, rolling through a patch of soot on one of his cheeks.
Roxas blinked, and couldn't form a coherent thought, staring down at the man before him. Axel looked broken. Defeated. Hollow. Human. "W-what have you done?" He cast a quick glance around before dropping to his knees across from the man. "Axel, did you do all of this?"
"I… I guess I did."
"Why?!"
"They hurt you Rox." Axel lunged the short distance between them, hands wrapping around his biceps.
"What do you mean? Who?"
"Your ' friends,'" Axel spat, a tendril of flame licking up his throat as venom dripped from his voice for a brief moment before he shook his head. "They said all that nasty shit to you. Tore you down."
"Yeah. They weren't really my friends were they. Not like you were," Roxas chuckled weakly. "But… how'd you know all that? I thought I did good at keeping it from you?"
"Your mom… she gave me your journal after you left."
"Oh…knew I forgot something." He reached up, gently touching Axel's cheek, wiping away a tear. "But… why burn the town down?"
"I… didn't mean to. Or maybe I did. I was just so… angry . They'd been treating me like shit for a while now… but to find out that they'd done the same to you? I don't know. Something inside me just snapped…"
Roxas blinked. "You… burned down a town… for me?" He grabbed hold of Axel's arms, scooting across the ash until they were knee to knee. He swore Axel's eyes flickered from within with fire. "All for me?"
"You're… how are you not upset?" Axel reached up, brushing his hair back. "I went after those that fucked you up. I killed people, Roxas."
"You killed people for me, " Roxas whispered.
"I… I did. I love you, Roxas. So, so much. I couldn't stand knowing you were hurting back then. That I couldn't do shit about it."
"You… love me." Roxas could barely breathe. "You destroyed the things that hurt me, because you love me."
"Yes," Axel's voice came out a little stronger. "I would do anything for you, Rox."
"You… would… for me ?" Roxas clung to Axel, afraid that if he let go, he'd wake up from the weird, twisted dream he'd been thrown into. "Me? Roxas?"
"Of course I would." Axel sighed, once more smoothing his hair back, eyes searching Roxas's face. "You… you're really not upset by this, are you?"
"How could I be?" Roxas's heart skipped. Fluttered wildly in his chest as he looked up at Axel's glowing green eyes.
"It's been over a year, Rox, I figured that you'd probably long moved on, but—"
Roxas didn't bother to let Axel finish, instead he surged forward, crushing their lips together. "I love you," he breathed against Axel's lips. "Come on, let's get out of here."