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I Need You Now
“You came.”
Fox’s blatant expression of disbelief and grief is enough to have Fives’ chest seizing with self-recrimination. They hadn’t just been chasing Fox because he was a hot piece of tail that wasn’t putting out. Fox was as much a part of their triad as he or Echo was and Fives nearly left him to mourn alone.
He shuts the office door behind him and carefully makes his way over to the desk. Fives knows how antsy the Corries get when their commander is alone with an outsider but he also knows how anxious Fox gets about being vulnerable in front of his troops. Carefully, Fives kneels down in front of his remaining lover and cradles Fox’s jaw in both hands.
With a weak smile, Fives presses a soft kiss to Fox’s lips. The notch that cuts across them is a familiar comfort. “Hey, beautiful.”
“I don't like liars.” Fox’s voice is rough as he visibly restrains himself from chasing after Five’s kiss, lips parted.
Five’s laugh sounds more like a sob even to his own ears as he presses his forehead to Fox’s. Despite all of his bluster, their Marshal Commander is still one of the sweetest men Fives knows. “You don’t think I’m beautiful?”
“You wear it differently.” Fox snaps as he tries to pull back, face heating up in a blush.
Fives doesn’t let Fox hide, tugging his partner back into another kiss. One of his hands drops down to tangle with Fox’s. He strokes the thumb of the other over his lover’s cheekbones and wiggles his eyebrows. “Yeah? The goatee does it for you?”
“No, but apparently stupidity does.” Fox leans back in his chair with a heavy breath that doubles as a laugh for him. “Go open my door before my men come jump you.”
“They always get to have you. I want a turn.” Fives whines, pressing a kiss to Fox’s scarred knuckles. He does as he’s told though, opening the door to a stern faced Stone. “Anyone ever tell you Corries that you’re too paranoid?”
“You.” Stone answers, pushing past him like Fives is only a minor annoyance. It’s clear that he’s studying Fox for new injuries.
Fives should have left a hickey on Fox’s jaw, just so they’d have something to actually bitch about.
“I could do without the posturing every time the GAR comes to visit.” Fox sighs and stands, dutifully letting his subordinate clear the area for weapons. It’s very performative as things with the Corries always are. “We all have better things to do.”
“Sorry, sir. I didn’t see where you were listed as an exception to your own fucking rules.” Stone says without sounding sorry at all.
Fox drops back into his chair flipping both Stone and Fives off, which seems rather unfair given that Fives hasn’t even said anything yet. “I’ll make sure to point it out to you in the next edition.”
It’s the same conversation each time.
Echo isn’t here to say his part, so Fives does it for him. “According to the regs—“
“Regs lo’shebs’ul narit.” Stone cuts in right on cue. There’s a quiet solemnity in the words this time though. It’s not grief, Stone had hated Echo and probably still hates Fives for trying to steal the Corrie’s marshal commander, but it is acknowledgement. The Corries won’t be saying a Remembrance for Echo but they’ll carry his memory all the same.
Fives offers him a smile regardless, Fox loves his subordinates and for that reason alone Fives can’t hate them.
Even if sometimes he really wants to.
He holds his hands in the air, letting Stone pat him down through his dress grays. He doesn’t even make a flirty comment like he usually would. Echo isn’t here to laugh at it, Fox never acknowledges it, and Fives just wants to get Fox back into his arms at this point. The only reason he waits to be cleared by Stone before pushing past the Corrie is because he rather enjoys not having his nuts shot off.
The second Stone begrudgingly admits he has no weapons, Fives practically leaps over the commander to make it back to Fox’s side. He ignores his partner’s protests and finagles his way onto the chair with Fox balanced on his lap. He’d rather sling the Corrie commander over his shoulder and steal him away to the GAR leave barracks but he’s a good partner and so he won’t stress Fox out by leaving the flimsiwork unfinished.
“You have an hour to wrap up the most important shit.” Fives murmurs against the soft skin of Fox’s neck. He knows his rank, if Fox has anything that can’t wait he isn’t going to press. Their relationship isn’t one between equals, as much as they would like it to be, and that means there has to be a give and take between their preferred dynamics and what they were designed to be.
It’s a delicate tightrope they dance, but the three—pair of them have become skilled at walking it.
Fox tips his head back without an immediate response. His temple rests against Five’s forehead. The silence between them hums with the reassurance of mingled breaths as Fives lets his partner think. Finally, Fox shifts his weight to curl up more fully in Five’s lap. His words are heavy with indecision and regret, but notably lack any reference to rank. “There was a riot on the lower levels. I can’t just—“
“He’s been awake for twenty-seven hours.” Stone cuts him off to tattle-tale. They might hate each other, but he and Fives have a begrudging alliance when it comes to Fox’s health. “And Thorn is on his way to take over.”
So Fives doesn’t need to worry about condemning Corrie shinies when he pulls Fox off shift. Good to know.
He slides his hand down to splay his palm possessively over the white plastoid covering Fox’s stomach. There are times when Fox can’t take care of himself, too worried about what will happen if he relinquishes his hold over this shithole of a planet for even a breath. Without Echo here to help worry over their partner, it’s up to Fives now to make sure Fox stays alive. He firms his tone, not allowing for protests. “Finish up what you need to and then I’m taking you to get food and sleep.”
“Fives.” Fox tries to protest anyway because he’s an asshole like that.
Fives swallows hard against grief. Normally he would tease their back and forth out in extended intellectual foreplay. Normally Echo would be here to play the part of sith’s advocate, backing whichever he thought was the underdog at any given time. Echo isn’t here though. Fives is hurting as much as he knows Fox is and he’s just masochistic enough to make them both face this pain head on.
He still doesn’t quite have it in him to push past Fox’s will the way he normally would—not without Echo to play good cop. Fives lips over Fox’s pulse, reminding himself that Fox is here and safe. “Don’t make me sleep in our bed alone.”
“I have to handle the disciplinary forms tonight.” Fox relents. There’s no true outward indication of his grief but Fives has become an expert in reading the minute changes of his body language.
“That’s alright.” Fives shifts so he can stroke a soothing rhythm over Fox’s free wrist. “Wrapping up your paperwork will give the GAR mess time to clear out.”
Fox fusses by shifting his weight. “I have plenty of ration bars.”
“Good. You can save them for when I’m not here and you won’t go to the mess without me.” Fives presses a kiss to his partner’s temple before he leans forward to snag Fox’s datapad off the desk and offer it up. “You’re one strong wind away from being sent to march on without me.”
“I’m not that bad.” Fox grumbles as he accepts the pad and swipes the lock screen open and navigates through an alarming number of files to find the forms he’s looking for.
“Sure, babe.” Fives steals one last kiss before leaning back to cuddle his partner through the long rows of data entry.
Thorn being ‘on his way’ translates to forty-five minutes of Fives playing chair cushion to Fox and multitasking as an excellent distraction.
Stone has stayed, as he always does, standing at ease in the corner with his arms resting behind his back. Despite his casual demeanor and blank expression, Fives knows he’s fuming. Every time Fox twitches in response to something Fives does, Stone has to visibly restrain himself from launching across the room. Well, as visibly as a Corrie ever reacts, which translates mostly to tensed muscles and narrowed eyes.
They might have a truce when it comes to Fox’s wellbeing but that doesn’t mean Stone doesn’t resent that Fives contributes to it. The Corries are a tight-knit paranoid lot and they’ll never forgive Fox for succumbing to him or Fives for seducing him, Echo maybe escapes the sentiment only through death but probably not. It certainly doesn’t mean that Fives isn't petty enough to provoke the other commanders every chance he gets.
Thorn doesn’t take his helmet off when he enters but Fives can feel his glare anyway. “They’re still letting you miscreants planet side?”
“Skywalker has more pull than you with the senators, sorry.” Fives pretends to pout. He knows they only let him get away with the disrespect because they think he’s good for Fox.
In his lap, Fox digs a boney hip into Five’s groin with an innocent hum. The insistent pressure threatens to sterilize him faster than a longneck faced with a patent breach.
The movement doesn’t go unnoticed by the room’s other occupants even though neither outwardly reacts. Instead it’s made obvious by a drastic increase in feral energy that Fives, quite frankly, doesn’t appreciate.
“Careful, Fox. Your ARC isn’t going to be any use to you without his deece.” Thorn finally removes his helmet as he perches on the edge of the desk. His expression is a sharp leer except for tension at the corners of his eyes.
Fives bristles with the instinctive anger that rises anytime someone implies that he’s fucking Fox. He only subsides when the pressure turns from unpleasant to painful. Leaning back, he splays his fingers wide in submission. “Not my place. Got it.”
“Sure. For five minutes maybe and then you’ll forget it again.” Fox breathes out softly as he shifts his weight back to Five’s thigh. The sting of his words is undermined by the soft press of a rare Fox initiated kiss.
Better than the kiss is the way Fox lingers in a keldabe afterward. Fives would crawl into Fox’s skin to share existence if he could manage it. Especially after—especially now. Fives needs the reassurance of Fox’s breath in his, the rise of Fox’s chest pressing against his; the warmth of Fox’s body beneath him.
“Please, Fox.” Fives isn’t quite sure why he’s so desperate. Nothing could ever replace the memories he has of sharing the GAR barracks with Echo but he knows that if they aren’t diluted with at least a few memories of Fox, Fives is going to fall into a grief he can’t escape from. He’s not always going to be able to bunk with the Corries when he’s on planet. He needs to be able to remember Fox in the bunk he shared with Echo or he’s going to spiral every time he sleeps alone and remembers the partner that’s always shared with him. “Spend the night with me.”
Fox must see at least some of that. Still he warns, with the sharp edge of a reminder that Fives is dancing along the margins of his boundaries, “It’s against our protocol to leave the guard barracks without another guard. The others won’t be happy.”
Fox isn’t happy, Fives translates.
For all his fussing at the others’ protectiveness, Fox isn’t a hypocrite. He doesn’t make rules that he isn’t willing to hold himself to. Fives is asking for Fox to compromise, and risk, the trust of his command.
And Fox is still willing to do it.
“I’ll make it up to them.” Fives promises, glancing toward the others in question. “I’ll owe the Corries a favor. Gedet’ye.”
“We aren’t selling Fox to you.” Stone crosses his arms with a clack of plastoid. “He isn’t a whore.”
“Fives isn’t purchasing my time.” Fox turns his anger onto the Corries for once, delicate fingers tightening around Five’s forearm to keep him in place. This is Marshal Commander 1010 and Fives’ overprotective interference has no place in this interaction.
Stone doesn’t back down physically, arms still crossed and expression closed off, but he does flick his gaze over to one of the bare walls. “Yessir. We will expect you at 0500. We’ll comm if there’s an emergency.”
“Good man.” Fox stands to knock his head against his subordinates'. “I’ll be back.”
“You better.” Thorn clasps his hand over the back of Fox’s neck and then he pulls back to shove Fox toward the door. “Just go smother your pet CT.”
“Woof.” Fives tosses the vod a wink before gluing himself against Fox’s side once more. He waits until they’ve left the office to ask, “Armor on or grays? I’m good with showing you off in all your glory but I get it if you don’t want anyone to know you’re with a Torrent.”
“It has nothing to do with wanting to be seen with you.” Fox says, too easily for him to not be worried about Five’s feelings. Despite his reputation, Fox is surprisingly communicative and liberal with his praise. When there are issues, he lets Five know exactly what they are and how they’ll be handled. If there aren’t issues, he’s equally clear in his reassurances. “CC-1010 isn’t allowed to interfere in GAR matters. I’d be in for a hell of a lashing if I was seen with you outside of here. We’ve got shiny armor I can borrow. Take a left.”
“Renewing my concern of what the fuck.”
“Renewal acknowledged.” Fox flashes him a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it smile warm with appreciation. It takes all of the sting out of his immediate dismissal. “We don’t need the GAR to fight our battles.”
“Vode an, ner cabur.” Fives takes advantage of the closet they enter to nuzzle against the back of Fox’s neck. “Arbitrary natborn divisions don’t hold weight.”
Fox breathes out hard and the corners of his eyes crinkle with amusement. He leans back into Five’s touch as he starts efficiently stripping down to his blacks. “Vode an, ke’duumi ni hukaati gar shebs.”
“Gar ruusaanyc’la.” Fives trails his lips over the hinge of Fox’s jaw as he helps work open the latches. “I just wish you’d let me watch your shebs in return.”
“You look at my ass plenty.” Fox says, arching his back at just the right angle to press said body part back against the cradle of Five’s hips. Then he pulls away to start attaching white armor, stripped of paint but far from shiny. “Don’t worry about it. You do your part keeping the seps off planet and we do our part to keep the Republic contained and distracted on Coruscant.”
Fox’s motions are fluid but not without tension.
Fives hates himself for causing it. He’s spent the past standard week beating himself up over being unable to save Echo. It has to be worse for Fox who was trained to do so much more than babysit terrible natborns. Fox probably feels like he could have saved Echo if he’d been there, and it might even be true. Fives doesn’t blame Fox for not being there but he knows Fox probably does. Softening with grief, Fives takes over the chest piece. He focuses hard on the latches, tugging a few times to test that the warped plastoid alloy will hold, while he avoids Fox’s gaze.
The scorch marks have been buffed out but the evidence remains regardless. Fives traces his fingertips over each indentation and wonders which one took the life of the trooper it had belonged to. The Guard sacrifice so much; names, numbers, lives, memories. He lives in constant fear that one day they’ll return on furlough and Marshal Commander CC-1010 will be waiting in an office but Fox will be gone.
Fives splays his hand over Fox’s heart, pretending he can feel the pulse of it beneath armor. “You do more than your part. We’d be lost without your Corries.”
“Damn right.” Fox’s voice doesn’t crack but there’s something to the warm timbre of his voice that gives the impression. “Now, you promised me fancy GAR food.”
“I did.” Letting the moment break, Fives leans forward to press a quick kiss to Fox’s nose. “C’mon. I wanna show off my diplomacy series boyfriend. You’re so cute and tiny.”
“I’m letting Stone take a shot for each trooper you make me talk to.” Fox says, clipping the white bucket to his waist before he lets himself be pulled out of the closet.
Fives laughs despite himself and the heavy grief that weighs him down. It’s a real threat and Fives would be worried, especially without Echo as backup, but he knows Torrent will be giving them space to grieve. No one will pry or tease tonight.
Instead of letting Fox know, of giving the yawning black hole in his chest a chance to expand, Fives tangles their fingers together. He laughs and swings their hands like they’re natborn children at the Galactic Fair on a date. He and Echo never got, will never get to, woo their pretty commander in all the ways they planned. Fives has to do that all on his own now, so he holds close all of Echo’s whispered dreams and gives voice to their fallen partner’s line, “You’re worth it.”