Work Text:
Wallace likes Scott enough, enough to keep him around in his apartment as a newly permanent guest. Is it wise to let someone move in when you’re still harboring a dangerous crush? Absolutely, but critical thinking when it comes to Scott Pilgrim is nigh impossible. Parasites should take note on how he wormed his way into Wallace's home (and wallet) without any protest. Wallace and Scott are obviously friends, but he doesn’t want to tell him that— can't give the little twerp too much of an ego. Undeniably, Scott made Wallace go soft, especially in the aftermath of Envy. All those years of cultivating a cool exterior, only to be shattered by an average looking dude with permanent puppy dog-face. However, living with Scott full time has harbored some unexpected challenges.
Wallace gets home from work to see Scott in the same place he left him, hunched over the desk, blanket draped across his shoulders, eyes glued to the PC, and long greasy hair sticking up in all directions. It'd be kind of a cool hairstyle if it wasn’t caused by neglect. Never one to beat around the bush, Wallace opens with: “Hey guy, when was the last time you showered?”
“Wha—“ was the only response given. Scott cranes his neck over his shoulder, a soft white glow illuminates his huddled figure. Wallace can’t quite see what website he’s on, but just assumes it’s some dumb video game forum driving up the Internet bill.
“Just because you’re a straight guy doesn’t mean you have to smell like one too. I know showering can be foreign to your kind.” Wallace continues, slightly poking Scott's buttons.
“Um, when was your last day off from work?” Scott scratches his cheek while replying. The sound of nails against stubble was grating.
“…. Sunday?" Wallace offers with a confused inflection. He always had the weekends off with his new job at the call center.
“Oh right. Then Sunday,” Scott turns back around to keep scrolling on whatever mystery page he’s browsing.
“Scott, today is Thursday.” Wallace pinches the bridge of his nose in mild frustration.
“Huh. That’s cool.”
He really has to drag Scott through almost every conversation. Sometimes it was endearing, but sometimes Wallace was too tired to deal with an apartment that smelled like B.O. Wallace hadn’t even taken off his coat or set down his bag.
“Look I'm not gonna judge you, but if you’re going to live in my house and sleep in my bed, then I’d prefer for you to take care of yourself.” The only reply to Wallace's gentle plea was a short of choked grumble. With a sigh, Wallace finally hangs up his winter wear and slips off his dress shoes. This chat was going to have to take a lot more involvement than he initially planned, perhaps lamenting across the room was more counterintuitive.
Wallace crosses the threshold into Scott's space in front of the computer and kneels down next to him. Scott glances over with pinched brows, an expression the other mirrors. Scott's gaze was slightly downcast, and Wallace knew he was staring at his mouth. And not in a sexy “Oh I wanna kiss you so bad” way that Wallace initially thought when the two first met, but more of an “I don’t like looking people directly in their eyes, but I still want to let you know I'm listening” way. In the brief moment of, admittedly, uncomfortable silence, a sudden sound rings out across the room. Or rather rumbles, because it was Scott's stomach.
“Have you eaten?” he questions. Wallace knew Scott had a habit of getting too absorbed in whatever task he was doing that day to remember to do well, anything else.
“Um… maybe?” Scott turns his head back to the screen and begins scrolling again, obviously not intent on solving his problem. “I was too busy.” So Wallace’s suspicions were correct. He does refrain from snarking back at Scott’s proclamation of being “busy” because he’s a nice fucking person (on most days of the week.) At least Wallace offers his PC for Scott to use when he needs it.
Redirecting, Wallace says, “Hey let’s just make dinner and continue later.” Scott immediately stands up, blanket falling to the floor with a plop. Wallace, as observant as he is, picked up on Scott being in a mood today. He couldn’t really guess what caused it. He assumed Scott was finally over Envy, maybe he’s just in a weird limbo due to dropping out right before graduating uni.
Wallace's suspicions are all but confirmed when Scott starts to make himself a plain turkey sandwich on white bread for the third night in a row. If Scott’s teeth didn’t rot out of his head from all that soda first, he probably would die of malnutrition. But Wallace isn’t going to intervene, after all a plain turkey sandwich with a side of garlic bread was Scott’s meal of choice post-break up. Who was Wallace to deny a man’s simple pleasures? After they both prepare their separate meals, Wallace's is just leftover sausage pizza, he decides to broach the topic again to Scott.
“So, guy, do you just… not feel like showering? Or doing anything?” He doesn’t mean for the last part to come out judgy or rude. Unfortunately though, Scott took it that way.
“Wh—I… I do things,” he stammers out defensively. “I watched TV, I started playing Ocarina of Time again, I—“
“You know what I meant, Scott.” The endearing nicknames are gone now, Wallace is practically searing holes into Scott with his intense stare. “Look, I've seen you at your worst, okay? Just tell me, I wanna help.” Wallace never envisioned himself being this patient and caring to a guy he couldn’t even fuck.
“Well um. I haven’t been showering because it’s…” Scott pauses, not even feigning eye contact. He's just intensely studying his half eaten sandwich. “It's too cold.” Wallace makes an expression that causes Scott to temporarily panic. “And don’t say it, I know I was born in Ontario, and yes I know it gets really cold, but I just don’t like it okay?” He rushes out his words to a confused Wallace. “It's like my limbs lock up, and I can't move. So I just stand there wet and cold, and everything stings and I want to, like, rip my skin off to feel something else.” At this point Scott starts digging his nails into his arms with alarming strength. Wallace at least recognizes this behavior of Scott spiraling and gently pries his hands away from the soft flesh.
“Hey, hey it’s okay guy.” Wallace grasps both of Scott's hands and is now letting him squeeze the life out of them. “If you need all the hot water in the morning, that’s fine. Whatever you need to not keep living like… this.” Wallace temporarily releases Scott's hand to gesture at his disheveled aura.
Scott ponders for a second, “Are you sure?”
“Yes. It’ll probably wake me up better in the morning to take a cold shower anyways." Wallace is lying through his teeth at this point, but like he said, he’d pretty much do anything for Scott.
“Thanks Wallace!” Scott's demeanor immediately perks up. He leans in for a hug, but Wallace stops him with a hand to his chest.
“Shower first, then we can hug.” Wallace said he would do almost anything for Scott, almost. Scott quickly stands up from where they were eating dinner on the floor to practically run to the bathroom and turn on the shower.
Wallace likes Scott enough, enough to take cold showers in sub-zero weather in his shitty apartment that only has enough hot water for one person. At least when he gets home from work there’s a much more upbeat Pilgrim ready to talk his ear off about his fifth playthrough of Ocarina of Time.