Work Text:
"are ve all vaccinated?" asked the medic,out of the Blue "I am" Replied the Chemist "Me too" Said the engineer "'MURICAAAAA" "SHUT THE FUCK UP-" "Only three of us are vaccinated? Vell, I guess it's time for your shots-" Before Medic could finish that sentence Half the team Ran away "DAMN IT" "I've got this" Said the chemist "Hey Sniper- i'm gonna tell your- boyfriend-" "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND" "Yes, he is- I'm gonna tell him what you do with his masks-" Spy looked at her "What" "Not you, The other you" "Zhe one in Zhe fridge?" "Yes, him!" Silence... "wait what fridge-" Medic hit her with a frying pan (Where did he get that? I dunno, ask him yourself you fucking simps) "BLOODY HELL MEDIC, DID YOU KILL HER?" "Probably not" "WHAT KIND OF SHIT ANSWER IS THAT? AREN'T YOU THE DOCTOR???" "Vell I lost my medical license so-" "But you went to med school, Right?" "..." "Right?" "ANYVAY, VE MUST HIDE ZHE BODY!" "... You must hide the body" "... Geh und lutsch einen Schwanz" "SCOUT, MEDIC KILLED YOUR GIRLFRIEND-" "YOU Spitzel" "YOUR MOM'S A- what did you say?" "Spitzel." "Ok- YOUR MOM'S A SPRITZEL" "Spitzel." "Same thing!" "Why is the chemist dead?" "I don't know when I got here she was dead." "...Seems legit" "ENGI THE CHEMIST IS DEAD! " The chemist is dead?" "Yea! The chemist is dead!" "Dead dead or 'coming back to life' Dead?" "Dead dead!" "Damn...We should tell her mother" "NOT IT!" "SPYYYYY-" "NoN yOu WoN't MaKe ThE cAlL, JeReMy" "Are you... Okay?" "No." "Well then, Who wants to tell a mother her youngest child died?" The team disappeared again, "Damn, They disappear so often I'm almost thinking they're spies" "Oh, Don't vorry, any BLUE spy can't harm us." "...you scare me" " Good." "Wow he's hot." "Wait-shit right, THE BODY" "FUUUCK-" "SHIT HER MOTHER IS COMING TO VISIT TODAY" "JeReMy" " 'M SORRY OKAY?" "NoN" "NOBODY TELL HER MOM" "Nobody tell me what?" Everyone turned around to look at the new voice: It was a middle age woman with a few grey hairs and wrinkles, Her posture looked very serious and her eyes never left Scout, "You must be-" "Rosie! I haven't see you In years where have you-" "It's Doctor Taumathurge for you, Conagher" Her gave moved up from scout to medic, She glanced at him for a few seconds with a look of...Sadness? Remorse? Which was weird because Medic didn't know her "...and you must be Ludwig, It is a pleasure to meet you." At least he thought he didn't "ah! A pleasure to meet another Person of Medicine!" "I'm afraid I'm not that type of doctor, Arzt" Medic didn't know how she knew his last name, He didn't mention it to the chemist, "Anyway, Where's my lovely daughter..." Rosalie looked at her daughters corpse "...Maxie?" She felt like she couldn't stand- "I think it's best if we leave her alone" "Yep..." The mercenaries left the room, Rosalie moved closer to her daughter and held her hand, "Shhh, it's okay, Mommy's here" And continued to do that until she remembered something, she knew she shouldn't use it but...it was her daughter! She couldn't just let someone close to her die! Not again... But before she tried anything, she wanted to make sure those... Idiots weren't wrong and her Maxie...was really gone, She was not, those Fucking bastards didn't even bother to check her pulse, "Max?" The chemist streched her arms "Yeah? Oh hey mom, what are you doing here don't you have work-" "I decided to give you a little surprise, Anyway which one of those...repulsive men is your...boyfriend?" "Which one do you think it is?" "The spy looked nice-" "Mooooom!" "What? He Clearly knows how to dress" "he's older than dad!" "He is? So who's the lucky guy?" "Scout-" "Ah. That twerp, How old is he, Eighteen?" "Twenty seven" "TWENTY SEVEN!?" "yeah!" "HOW!? HE LOOKS YOUNGER THAN YOU!" "I KNOW!" "Max, are you sure you're...okay?" "Of course! I'm fine! And this is not a dream!" "...what?" "Because I'm in pain! My head hurts! And it's bleeding! Call help! Please" "of course" Rosalie got up, "I'll call your... Medic" "Okay-" Maxine coughed, and only after her mother left she checked her bloodied hand, She didn't want her to worry of course, She has at least a million other proble- And as she drifted off she only heard someone scream her name, she only woke up a few hours later "Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey-He-" "Jeremy either you shut up or I'll start describing in GRAPHIC DETAIL HOW I'LL KILL YOU" "awww" The chemist tried to strangle him, but found herself unable to move, because someone (Medic) Strapped her to the table "DAMN IT!" She swore, "Language!" "Fine, Dang it!" "Better" "Can someone untie me now?" "No." The chemist groaned "Im fine, if you let go to my room I won't die" "Probably" "WHAT" "nothing" "Maxine, You're clearly ill, you must rest" "Mom, I'm fine, Why don't you and Scout-" Before she could finish that sentence Scout Went to get the milk Ran away "Not again!" "How's my patient?" "I'm fine" "Are you sure?" "Yes." "I believe you, Anyway, Who wants to eat some of this cake I made without any human organs?" "Thank you, but I'm on a diet" Said the chemist "I'm vegan" Added the engineer "No, you're not! Eat some of that cake this Wonderful young man made you" "...Mom are you trying to seduce him?" "What time is it?" "15:31 Ma'am!" Said the soldier "Oh no! I forgot! I need to work, Okay bye Maxie!" "Mom-" But it was too late, she had already left. Like every time she needed her, Every little Single time, she just wanted her to stay.