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Jim had a perfect plan.
The chronosphere would take him to the day he got the amulet, and he would have months to prepare for the battle with the Arcane Order.
First he would tell Toby to go the long way and when he returned from class he would tell him to go to the canal to get Merlin's amulet under Kanjigar's ruins. He wasn't going to tell him those words, but he would tell him that he might get something interesting if he came home that way.
After talking to his best friend, he would sign up for the play and audition for the role of Romeo (this time without the troll hunter's armor), so he could get closer to Claire and get her to fall in love with him again. And this time, he would tell her about trolls's world, preferably in a situation where none of their lives were in danger.
He would also talk to Strickler after school and tell him to go to his house to have dinner with his mother, so that he could date Barbara again. He once found disgusting them being together, but after everything Strickler did for him, he could only pray that in that timeline they could get their happy ending.
He would definitely also get back all the allies he had in his previous life who were once his rivals or enemies. Steve, Draal, Strickler, Nomura, NotEnrique, Chompsky, Angor Rot and Morgana. And he would make sure that all of them survived until after the final battle against the Arcane Order.
Because he didn't know what he would do if he lost any of them again.
Whether he had Merlin's amulet or not, he was the troll hunter, and even if Toby was chosen in that timeline, he still had to protect them all. Merlin could be a manipulative bastard, but what he taught him was true. He was the trollhunter, with or without the amulet. He was a hero, regardless of having a magical armor or not.
He didn't know how he could think that he was simply because an amulet decided to choose him. The amulet saw into his heart. The amulet knew he was the right one. The amulet knew that he was a hero. That was why he became a trollhunter. Not the other way around. He wasn't special because he was chosen by Merlin. Merlin chose him because he was special. And having or not having the amulet wasn't important. He would lead his allies to victory either way. He just had to prepare his allies for the battle against the Arcane Order.
That's why, after all the plan he had made in his head to ensure the victory of his team - no, his family, he could do nothing but paralyzed when he discovered that he didn't wake up when his alarm clock sounded. He went to the same day that he and Strickler fought to get the amulet or the location of the Killahead Bridge.
He was in the past, yes. The chronosphere worked. But he didn't have time to celebrate because he realized that everything was wrong. He wasn't supposed to appear there. He was supposed to go back to the day he discovered the amulet, not to the day he confronted the changeling.
Strickler attacked him with a knife and he was barely able to lift the fork so that he wouldn't cut him with it before disconnecting from the world.
That shouldn't have happened like that. The chronosphere shouldn't have taken him tothat day. It had made a serious mistake. And appearing at a different time than expected made him not knowing how he could avoid some of the problems he had in the previous timeline.
He planned everything he wanted to do and the chronosphere ruined it.
He planned to make Toby the troll hunter, but...
He felt his body cold.
No. It can't be. His heart began to beat faster against his chest. It can't be possible. He realized something crucial. If Strickler was fighting him, that meant he had the amulet.
He couldn't be the trollhunter.
It had to be Toby. If he himself was the chosen one, then his family and friends would go through the same things as they went through in the previous timeline. Toby would die again, and the only reason why he decided to give him the amulet was because he wanted to avoid that. Being the trollhunter would increase Toby's chances of surviving the battle with the Arcane Order, and although that would reduce his own chances of survival, he was willing to do it if it meant that his friend would live.
Because he couldn't lose Toby, not again.
Jim was panicking as he moved through the ruins of the fire titan. No matter how much he explored that place, he couldn't find Toby, and he felt his breathing get faster and faster, until he finally found him. He lifted the stone that fell on top of him and his heart skipped a beat. He was hurt. He was injured, with cuts all over his face. He seemed to be weak. He seemed dead. His heart stopped. It couldn't be possible. "Oh no..." Jim muttered.
"No!" he heard Claire shouting behind him.
Jim felt his heart beat faster. His whole body was shaking, and he didn't know how he was able to stay standing without collapsing. It couldn't be possible that something like that was happening to his best friend. It had to be a dream, or a nightmare. It couldn't be real.
"Wingman" muttered Aaarrrgghh.
Aaarrrgghh looked at Toby with terror-filled eyes, and Jim reached out his hand to his best friend's, gripping it lightly. His eyes glazed over, and when he was going to scream from the pain of losing Toby, he felt his friend gently squeeze him back. He looked at him surprised, getting a little closer to him.
"Tobes..." he said slightly hopeful. If he was awake it was a good sign, right? That meant it wasn't too late to save his life.
"Jimbo… Did we saved the world?" Toby asked weakly.
"Yeah, we did. Tobes, we'll fix you. We'll get you a doctor or magic or alien tech."
Jim's voice sounded broken. He was desperate. That couldn't be the end. His best friend couldn't end like that. His friendship couldn't end that way. It had to be something that could heal him, something that could prevent the same thing that happened to Strickler from happening to him. "No". He tightened his grip on Toby's hand. What was happening was too painful to also remember the death of the man he considered his father.
"Master Jim, I'm afraid..." Blinky said behind him, and Jim could feel the pain in his voice.
"No! There's gotta be a way! There's always a way!" Jim shouted with a broken voice, almost crying. He looked at Blinky for a couple of seconds and then looked back at Toby. He refused to lose his best friend, to accept that he was losing him, or that he lost him. "Here, take this." He took off the amulet and grabbed his friend's arm so he could hold it "Use this. You can't just give up"
"I'm not giving up, Jimbo" he pushed his hand away, without taking the amulet. Jim felt his body cold. He couldn't be serious. "You taught me that" he looked at his friends "You all taught me so much, gave me so much"
"Wingman" said Aaarrrgghh. His voice sounded broken.
"It's okay, buddy" Toby looked at Aaarrrgghh and then at Jim.
"Please, Tobes, you can't leave me. You've always been with me"
Jim felt tears sliding down his cheeks and brought Toby's hand to his cheek. All of that had to be a nightmare. It couldn't be real. He had to be dreaming or hallucinating.
"Always have been, always will be" he said with a break and weak voice.
"It was the two of us at the start. It'll be the two of us at the end" Jim felt his lips tremble. It couldn't be happening what he thought it was happening.
"It's okay, Jimbo. I didn't think" he looked up "I became" he closed his eyes.
Toby's hand stopped squeezing his and realize what happened made his heart break into pieces. He felt like a part of him died with his best friend. He leaned over to hug him and screamed his name desperately, as if it would make Toby wake up. As if that could bring him back to life.
He had to do it. He couldn't lose his best friend. He couldn't lose Toby, who had always been there for him, who had saved his life, who was part of his family. He couldn't lose another person he cared about. It was too painful to imagine a life without his stepfather to also live without his best friend.
"Young Atlas? Young Atlas, listen to me. You have to breathe."
Strickler's voice made him blink and only when he saw that he was on the floor, with his teacher kneeling in front of him, gently squeezing his arms, he realize that it only was a memory. He only imagined Toby's death. It wasn't real.
Except it was, in another timeline that no longer existed. In another timeline that he wanted to avoid at all costs.
Thinking that didn't calm him down, it just made breathing even more difficult than it already was. He lowered his head, eyes closed. His heart was hitting his ribcage hard, and air was not able to enter his lungs, but no matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he tried, he couldn't calm down. It was impossible to do what Strickler told him. He felt like he was drowning, and yet he couldn't force himself to breathe.
"Jim. Jim, you have to listen to me. Breathe."
"I don't… I..."
"Come on, young Atlas. You can do it."
"I can't..." he said weakly.
Jim barely had time to react before Strickler put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer, and began whispering words that were meant to be reassuring, while rubbing his arm, trying to calm him down. Jim didn't know what made him stop panicking. He didn't know if it was because he felt the warmth of a human body, or because it was the first time he and Strickler got close enough to almost hug each other, but his breathing finally began to slow down.
Even though he was able to calm down, Jim didn't move from where he was. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, getting close to the person who had an arm wrapped around his shoulders. He knew he should say something, give an explanation for why he reacted like that, but he couldn't. He could only tremble from the terror of having had a panic attack.
"Young Atlas…"
Jim turned slightly away from his teacher (because he was still his teacher, not his ex-teacher or his principal, he told himself) to look at him, and he had a lump in his throat when he saw the concern in his eyes. An emotion he shouldn't be feeling at that moment. An emotion that reminded him of the Strickler he lost. The Strickler who, after everything they went through, after what they did to each other, decided to give his life for him. Even though he once told him that he looked out for his own interests, he did something as selfless as sacrifice himself to save him. He chose to protect him from the ice titan rather than let him get hurt, even if it meant dying. How could he saved him? How could he chose to save him over making sure he and Barbara had a happy ending?
His eyes filled with tears and he turned away from Strickler completely. He leaned his back against the wall, raised his knees and wrapped his arms around them, hiding his face.
"Young Atlas, what's wrong with you?"
Jim let out a broken laugh, passing a hand over his eyes, trying not to cry. The right question was what wasn't wrong with him. What hadn't happened to him since he discovered that amulet in the canal. His history teacher, who was like a father to him, turned out to be a changeling who betrayed him and tried to kill him. He kidnapped his mentor, manipulated him into freeing an evil troll from his prison, and awakened a centuries-old murderous troll to kill him. He used his mother so he couldn't hurt him and when the ring controlling the murderous troll was broken he had to help him to protect his mother. He went to a dark, cold wasteland to rescue his girlfriend's little brother and almost didn't come out of that place alive. He saw an alternate future in which all of his friends and his mother died because of Gunmar's release. And after all that, and many more events that slowly destroyed his heart, he had to face an order that awakened three titans that almost ended the world. He watched his father, his best friend, and other allies die, and restarted time to fix everything, having to deal with the fact that he knew of the existence of another timeline.
"What is not wrong with me" he contained a small sob "The question is what isn't wrong with me, Mr. Strickler."
"Young Atlas…"
"No" he raised his hands, which were shaking almost uncontrollably, stopping his words, still not capable of looking at him. "Don't call me that. It's too painful if you say it..."
"What do you mean? I've always called you that".
"Not you you. This version of you" he said quietly.
"What do you mean by this version of me?"
He squeezed his knees harder, pressing himself further against the wall, as if that could prevent him from having a conversation with Strickler. He wasn't supposed to say anything. He wasn't supposed to tell him about the previous timeline. The first time he traveled back in time he told him, but that time he hesitated to do it. If he did, the effects of him telling him the truth would be definitive. There would be no magician who could take him back in time to correct that mistake.
But would he really be able to handle the fact that he was the only one from another timeline? Would he really be able to see Toby, Draal, and Vendel without breaking down because he failed them? Would he really be able to carry the weight of two worlds on his shoulders?
He stopped squeezing his knees. He had a panic attack just for remembering Toby's death. He didn't even have to see it to feel his world collapsing again. How could he look at him and his other allies without feeling his heart break again for not being able to save them?
"Young Atlas."
Jim raised his head.
"What's wrong with you?"
Strickler's eyes reflected concern, not the anger he had once perceived.
Concern.
Strickler was worried about him, not the amulet.
And he had already seen that concern in his eyes once. Before he traveled back in time, before Strickler sacrificed himself for him, before everything was ruined.
"You know, Jim? I once tried to kill you. I really did. And now... Well, I've never felt so good about failing"
Jim wrapped his arms around himself again, eyes closed. He took a shaky breath, trying not to cry in front of the changeling. How could he allow Strickler to sacrifice himself for him? How could he not try harder to get up from the ground to try to stop him? After everything they had been through together, after he almost became his stepfather, how was he able to let him die?
Oh no.
He held his breath.
No, no, no, no, no.
He didn't just lose Strickler. He didn't just let his enemy turned ally die. He let his father die.
He lost his father for the second time.
He felt his body tremble harder and tried to control his tears, but having lost Strickler, the person he had considered his father before being chosen as the trollhunter, and whom he had eventually appreciated again, was enough to make him collapse.
"Jim?"
Jim noticed the surprise and concern in Strickler's voice, but he couldn't answer. For Deya. He lost his father again. And everything after that happened so fast that he couldn't even stop to process what had happened. Stricklerdied. He died, and he didn't even have time to mourn him because the fate of the world was at stake. He was only able to have a brief conversation with his mother before Toby told him they had to go to Hong Kong.
And it was only then, being safe and without the world being in imminent danger, that he allowed all the emotions he had been holding back since Strickler died to spill over. He felt his heart break more than when he saw his stepfather and his best friend die, and even though he knew they were alive, he couldn't help but sob as if it were the first time he had done it.
He lost his father and his best friend.
For Deya, they died, and if he hadn't traveled back in time he would have had to live a life without them. Strickler would be gone again, and this time he could never came back to him and his mother, and his best friend, the one who kept him from sinking into a void after his biological father abandoned him, could never spend time with him again.
He couldn't even say goodbye to neither of them. He couldn't tell them that he cared, that he appreciated them. They died without knowing how much he loved them.
"Jim, what's wrong?"
They weren't supposed to die. They were supposed to win, they were supposed to defeat the Arcane Order, Strickler and Barbara were supposed to get married, and everyone was supposed to get their happy ending. It was not in his plans that his allies died and he had to travel in time to save them because he had been reckless and stupid and he didn't think of a better strategy.
"Jim"
Nomura, Strickler, Toby, and Nari shouldn't have died. It should have been him.
He should have died.
If anyone had to go through that, if anyone had to be the hero and die to protect them all, it was him.
Two hands rested on his shoulders, and shook him, and only then he realize that he disconnected from the world again. Strickler looked at him with more concern than before, and he didn't know if it was just his imagination, but he felt his hands tremble. And having his teacher so close to him only made him want to check that he was really there with him, that it wasn't just his imagination. Without giving Strickler time to walk away, he wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tightly, as if he would disappear at any moment.
A few seconds later, he felt the changeling wrapped his own arms around him and that was the last straw. Although he had previously thought that he wouldn't tell him what happened, that he wouldn't tell him that he was from another timeline, or anything that would make him think he was, he couldn't help but say the words "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what, young Atlas?"
"This wasn't supposed to turn out like this." He closed his eyes "You weren't supposed to die"
"What?" Strickler separated him slightly from him, looking at him with surprise and confusion "What do you mean by that?"
"I've been through this once before, Mr. Strickler." Strickler frown and he continued "This is not the first time we have had this fight."
Without waiting for Strickler to react to his words, he told him everything that had happened since they finished the fight that day. Since he got his amulet and then kidnapped Blinky to force him to open the Killahead bridge and free Gunmar, until months later, for certain reasons, Gunmar was freed and he, having become his ally, returned to Arcadia with Nomura to train him.
And when he reached the point in the story in which he had to narrate his death, he could not hold back the tears that he had kept contained throughout the story.
"You and my mother got engaged, but before you could get married, you... gave your life to save me " he said, his voice breaking again.
"Young Atlas, I…"
Barbara opened the door, holding the apple pie in her hands, and saw the scene in front of her. She frowned, put the cake on the dining table and walked over to them.
"Walt? Jim? What happened?" she rested a hand on Jim's knees "Why are you crying?"
"Mom" Jim said shakily "I have to tell you something."
* * *
"You are the troll hunter because you were chosen by Merlin's amulet."
Barbara looked at him and Jim nodded slightly, not sure his voice wouldn't crack if he spoke.
"And you are a changeling."
Strickler glanced at Jim, and although he didn't look like he was angry with him, he couldn't help but give him a small apologetic smile. Telling Barbara the truth about the troll world also meant revealing Strickler's changing nature, unfortunately for him. He was sure he wasn't completely okay with doing it, but the sooner his mother accepted that his history teacher was a changeling, and the sooner he could switch sides, the sooner they could be together and be the family they should have been in the previous timeline.
"I didn't mean to reveal it so soon, but yes"
"You didn't mean to reveal it so soon? " Barbara seemed offended by those words "So when would you have told me that you are not human? During the troll invasion?
"Barbara..." Strickler began, but he was cut off.
"No, Walt. How could you hide from me...?"
"No" Jim raised his hands, trying to calm them down before they started arguing. He looked at his mother "I know it hurts you that he kept something like that from you" his gaze went to Strickler "And hiding it from him wasn't right. But…" his hands trembled "Not now, please"
"Jim..." She placed her hand on top of his and Jim squeezed it tightly, looking at her mother with glassy eyes. The ring was not in her hand. And that shouldn't have affected him so much, but it did.
"I'm sorry" he said in a broken broke.
"What? Why?"
"Mom, you were going to get married. You were going to get married and I ruined everything. We accepted him into the family, and now..." he looked at her hands again and his tears fell "All the progress we made..."
"No" to his surprise, Strickler said that word "You didn't ruin anything, young Atlas"
"Your death was my fault. If I hadn't been so reckless, if I hadn't thought that a few simple explosives would be able to stop the ice titan, then you..."
"No" Barbara and Strickler said at the same time.
Jim blinked, looking at them in confused. How could they think it wasn't his fault? All the friends who had died died for him. Draal died because he wasn't fast enough to get out of the way before Angor Rot attacked him with one of his knives. Vendel died because he was reckless and he didn't think twice before going to the Darklands. Strickler died because he didn't think that the explosives wouldn't be able to stop the ice titan. Nomura died for telling her to go with Douxie when it wasn't night yet. Nari died because he was unable to think of protecting her while she was facing Skrael. And Toby died because he didn't think of using the anti-magic cannon before.
If he had thought through the plan better, if he had not acted as he did, then everyone would have survived the battle against the Arcane Order. He shouldn't have seen his friends die, and he shouldn't have traveled back in time. He wouldn't have to live his life again, and all the progress he had made with Strickler and his other enemies, who had eventually become his allies, wouldn't have been in vain.
He closed his eyes tightly. How was he supposed to face some of his enemies again knowing what some of them did for him in the previous timeline? How was he supposed to fight again against Nomura, Morgana and Angor Rot, after they switched sides for him and his friends?
After going to the Darklands to rescue Claire's brother, the only person who made him completely mentally sane was Nomura, and when he was in danger, she saved his life. She saved his life despite being his former enemy, and she decided to return to Arcadia Oaks to train him so he could defeat Gunmar. She could have gotten as far away from that city as possible and stayed out of it, but she decided tohelp him.
When facing Morgana, one of the only reasons they were able to defeat her was Angor Rot. He decided to attack the sorceress instead of him, and that gave them the opportunity to counterattack. If the troll hadn't stopped obeying her, if he hadn't chosen to help them, they wouldn't have been able to avoid the eternal night. A large part of the world's population would have disappeared because of the gumm-gumms, like in the alternative future that Merlin taught him after he wished he hadn't been chosen by his amulet, and they wouldn't have been able to prevent it.
When he became a full troll and he was under the control of the Arcane Order, his friends had to confront him and the Green Knight. Morgana could have followed the orders of the Arcane Order as well, but instead of that she helped her friends. Like Angor Rot, she cut the chains that bound her to her masters and made the decision to live by her own morals, not by being someone else's puppet. If she hadn't switched sides, he was sure that the Arcane Order would have won before they even had a chance to think of a plan to defeat them.
Jim owed them a lot, even his life. How would he be able to fight them again considering that?
"Jim…"
"Young Atlas…"
Jim looked at his mother and Strickler and he felt his eyes filled with tears.
"Oh, Jim"
His mother hugged him and Jim returned the hug almost immediately. His hands trembled as he squeezed his mother's shirt tightly, letting out small sobs. He closed his eyes, clinging to Barbara as if she were going to disappear. He knew she wouldn't, but after losing Strickler, he was terrified of losing her too. The last thing he wanted was to face the reality that he wasn't really in the past, and that everything that happened up until that moment was just his imagination.
No.
He wouldn't be able to bear that everything that happened was only an hallucination. How could he deal with that? It was too painful to see Strickler alive after what happened to him, and if it turned out that all of that was just a dream, it would break his heart more than it already was. He would have seen his teacher die for the third time. The first was when Merlin showed him an alternate future, the second was when they faced the ice titan, and if the version of him he was seeing was unreal, that would mean he would lose Strickler for the third time, and his father for the fourth time.
"Jim"
"Are you real?" He turned away from his mother and looked at Strickler, before looking at the two adults. "Are you two real?
"Jim, of course we're real"
"Really?" Tears fell from his eyes "Because if you're not, I..." he was going to lower his head, but he refused to do it. If this was unreal, at least he would make sure that this time Strickler knew what it meant to him "I can't lose you again, Strickler. I can't lose my father again"
"What?"
Barbara stared wide-eyed at Jim, unable to believe what she had just heard, and when he looked at Strickler he saw that he was pale as a ghost, staring at him in disbelief, as if he couldn't believe it either.
"Your… father?"
"Did you think I saw Blinky as my surrogate father?" He let out a broken laugh "Who helped me every time I needed it? Who gave me advice to talk to Claire? Who did I turn to when I found out I was the troll hunter, Strickler?"
"To me. You saw me as your surrogate father” he said with a slightly trembling voice, as if hearing those words had made him realize something he had never realized before. As if he had been completely thrown off balance.
"Yes" Jim said. His eyes were teary "You were my father, Strickler. And after that, you turned out to be one of the changelings who served Gunmar. How do you think that made me feel...?"
Before he could finish the sentence, he was hugged again, and although the first emotion he felt was surprise and confusion, when he heard Strickler say "I'm sorry" in a low voice, almost in a whisper, he couldn't handle it. The tears fell again. By Deya, why had those words affected him so much? Why had he already cried three times if he had never been an emotional person?
"Jim…"
His mother also hugged him, and it was in that moment, in the arms of his parents, when he realized that no matter what happened, whether that moment was real or not, they always would be a family. No matter if they had to travel in time, no matter if they lost their memories and had to recover them, no matter who was chosen by Merlin's amulet, they would always find their way back to their home.
And when he woke up the next day at his house, and saw Strickler and his mother in the kitchen, he smiled.
He really traveled to the past.