Chapter Text
Well.
Wriothesley screwed up.
He had been taking ‘donations’ from the prisoners for years now. Little things – valid confiscations. Free evidence for the overworld when needed, and…. Free gear for him if it was interesting enough.
There was an inherent risk involved with messing with things he didn’t understand. Wriothesley could always handle himself, though, and if push came to shove he had Sigewinne to patch him up and Clorinde to snap his shoulder into place in a pinch (which definitely had happened once or twice).
It never really felt like a big deal or something that should have concerned him until today.
He had set the confiscation box atop his desk in his office. This time it contained something that caught his eye – a funny-looking cat-shaped mask with minimalistic decoration. He hadn’t even put it on. All he’d done was pick it up and look at the underside of it, trying to determine what it was or who it had belonged to prior.
Instantly, he felt his world warp, followed by the disorienting realization that he was now standing on four legs, hardly bigger than his combat gloves.
He’d employed everything he could think of to get the mask off. He’d banged his cat head against the table legs. He flopped himself back and forth. Jumped onto every surface imaginable and did parkour off them, spinning around in the air and miraculously landing on all fours. Tried to find a mirror and use his paws as if they were hands to pry the mask away. There was a fifth claw on each front paw but they worked less like opposable thumbs and more like mystery talons that defied Wriothesley’s every expectation.
After wearing himself out, he’d thrown in the towel and napped curled up in his desk chair for a while, resigning himself to his new destiny. That was, until he’d gotten hungry – ravenously so – and went scouting for food in the coupon cafeteria.
Maybe that was where the mistake began. Because now he was chased into his own office, trapped there by a group of rookie Fatui siblings.
“It ran straight here as if it’s been to this room before. Does Wriothesley have a cat?” Freminet asked, leaning down to get a better look at the now cat-shaped Wriothesley.
“Definitely not.” Lyney said, circling Wriothesley curiously, “I’ve been in his office more than enough times to tell. This cat definitely got here today. Plus Meropide has a no animals rule.”
“Do you seriously think Wriothesley follows his own rules?”
“Good point.”
“Yeah. So maybe he adopted one today.” Lynette said, squatting down to see Wriothesley at eye level. “I think it’s a girl?” She reached a hand out, starting to pet him when his back involuntarily shot up like an upside-down U, and he bared his fangs, a hiss forcing its way out to express his disapproval.
“O-oh!” She laughed nervously, jolting upright and taking a step back. “N-nice kitty!”
Wriothesley hadn’t taken himself for the hissing type, but he didn’t seem to be fully in control of his cat instincts. He meowed at her in apology – a pathetic little mew – but she just stepped closer to Lyney, deferring the next plan of action to him.
“You know, if anyone would be able to confirm why there was a cat stealing food off everyone’s plates, it’s Clorinde.” Lyney said.
“Her or Sigewinne.”
“Are you guys sure we can’t just leave the cat alone?”
“I’m not trusting Wriothesley with a cat. Look over there – His plants are all dead.”
Wriothesley looked over at the plants sitting on his desk.
In his defense – He watered them daily! But there was no sunlight down here and simulating it with various lamps didn’t seem to do much help. He knew he’d taken a risk when he brought them down here. But he was tired of not having any companions. Animals were out of the question, goldfish were no better than staring out at the sea… Eventually, plants called to him. He had done everything he could to keep Franc and Jacqueline alive.
And he hadn’t given up on them yet.
Even if they did look pitiful right now.
“I don’t think that’s our choice to make, Lyney. What if he’s Wriothesley’s therapy cat?” Freminet asked.
Therapy cat?
Wriothesley sat down on his hind legs, his tail whipping furiously behind him. He let out an annoyed meow, drawing their gazes.
“Mrow.” he went, very clearly expressing that he wasn’t a therapy cat, nor did he need one – In fact, he was Wriothesley himself.
“Good kitty…!” Lynette said, smiling down at him and taking another step back.
“I’m going to find Clorinde or Sigewinne.” Lyney sighed, turning on his feet, “Please keep an eye on the cat.”
“It doesn't seem like she’s going anywhere.”
“He.” Wriothesley corrected.
Shockingly, no one seemed to understand him.
“Yeah. That’s a cat.” Clorinde said, folding her arms and staring down at him. “A girl… Maybe?”
“I don’t see any balls either.” Sigewinne nodded.
Wriothesley’s jaw dropped – or at least it did in his head. He scowled, shifting away from Sigewinne’s prodding hands.
Even Sigewinne?!
“A boy.” Wriothesley haplessly tried to correct. Even if this magical cat body happened to be without balls, it didn’t change the fact that Wriothesley was a man. Cat or not.
But… Maybe getting the princess treatment wouldn’t be so bad until he figured out how to get free.
“This definitely isn’t Wriothesley’s cat, though.” Clorinde said, staring down at Wriothesley. “If I had to guess, she hitched a ride on the way down and no one saw her sneak in. Her fur is pretty dark, she’d blend in with the shadows.”
“I haven’t seen Wriothesley since this morning.” Sigewinne sighed, “Otherwise I would ask him what he wants to do with her.”
“I’m going to the overworld anyway. I can take her up there.” Clorinde shrugged. “Maybe someone in Palais Mermonia will recognize her. The Melusines on duty up there are pretty observant.”
“That’s a good idea.” Sigewinne said. “I don’t have food for her here, and it’s obvious she’s really hungry.”
“She is.” Wriothesley trilled at the mention of being fed, a delighted purr emitting from his mouth. “Very hungry!”
God, what was happening to him…?
He brushed up against Sigewinne’s legs, a resounding yes!
“Wow, she’s smart.” Freminet exclaimed, “She knows you’re talking about food!”
“Maybe she really does belong to someone.”
“Time to find out.” Clorinde said, tapping her foot against the floor, “I’ll go get a cage from the overworld.”
“We’ll look after her.” Freminet said.
Clorinde left, Wriothesley yawning and settling into a muffin on the floor.
Cat bodies seemed to get really tired really fast. He’d just napped, but it already felt like he needed a hundred more.
The trip here was a little bumpy. But far gentler than Wriothesley had anticipated from a Champion Duelist.
Clorinde brought him to the Melusine who worked as the receptionist of the Palais Mermonia, Sedene.
She was helpfully blunt as always, a quality Wriothesley could respect.
“Just leave her here. I can look after her until we reunite her with her owner.”
“Are you sure?”
“What, are you planning to keep her?”
Clorinde coughed nervously, “N-no. Um. I guess I just want to make sure she’s taken care of.”
Did Clorinde have a secret soft spot for cats?
If Wriothesley could chuckle about that and tease her he would. The best he could do was yawn. And that wasn’t purposeful.
“I’m capable. As is everyone else here. Leave her to us or bring her to a nearby shelter. Though, I must say – People tend to come here first for those sorts of things. They think Lady Furina and Monsieur Neuvillette are all-knowing. Therefore, all their grievances are taken care of here.”
Clorinde steeled herself. “Alright. I’ll leave her with you.”
“Set her down on the countertop.”
The cage lifted, Wriothesley struggling to his feet to counter the sudden gravity shift. He slid across the floor of the cage, scrunching up against the metal bars, grunting as the cage clanged against the counter.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” Sedene asked.
“No. That’s all.”
“Thank you for visiting. Have a nice day.”
Clorinde’s hand lingered on the handle of the cage for a moment before her body stiffened. She let go, walking away, heels clacking down the foyer floors.
Sedene sighed, patting the top of the cage, “There, there, little miss. We’ll get you home in no time.”
Wriothesley’s stomach growled.
Wait a minute.
Clorinde forgot to tell Sedene he was hungry!
He yowled, crying out in anguish, unsurprisingly resulting in him being cornered by the guests.
“Is it okay?”
“Why’s the little guy crying?”
“Who would leave a cat in Palais Mermonia?!”
“Please, calm down everyone!” a faux-confident voice said. It was Furina, if Wriothesley’s feline ears were correct. It was confirmed when the crowd of concerned faces parted like the sea, allowing Wriothesley a chance to see her in full. “For I, Lady Furina, archon of Fontaine, am the one who has been responsible for this dear kitten and finding her rightful owner all along! Rest assured, this is nothing close to an impasse. She will be reunited with her family!”
The crowd erupted in applause, cheering for Furina, oh-so-wowed by her tall tale.
“You’re amazing, Lady Furina!”
“So charitable!”
“I am only doing what a good archon should!” she said, taking the handle of the cage and lifting it, visibly struggling with the unexpected weight of the heavy cage.
Clorinde had fetched the first one she’d found. It was big enough for three or four cats, bulky and prone to making Wriothesley side around like he was in a cheap boat.
She didn’t allow the heaviness of the cage to stop her. She seemed to give them a few good angles, waving and posing before confidently striding away, rushing as she left their view.
Wriothesley had never been in Furina’s office before. He couldn’t say it seemed much different from the rest of the rooms in this place. Blue. Expensive. Regal.
But he could say that he hadn’t expected Furina’s natural disposition to be so… sad.
She let Wriothesley out of his cage, holding her arms out for him.
“Will you be nice to me, kitty?” she asked, rasp in her typically cheery voice, “Come on,” she pleaded, patting her lap, “Please?”
Something about her seemed hopeless. Like she expected Wriothesley to say no and scurry off.
Instead, he stepped out of his cage, shaking his body a few times and stretching his hind legs before slinking into her lap.
Furina let out a muffled sound. Half relief, half anguish. She hugged Wriothesley close – way too close – like she never wanted to let go. He tried his best not to, but those cat instincts reared their head and he pushed away from her, scurrying out of her grasp as her arms loosened.
“Sorry.” she said, sniffling, averting her gaze. “I needed that.”
Wriothesley’s heart sank.
Was… Furina… okay?
He knew that that personality of hers was far from real, but…
Seriously.
Was she alright…?
“I bet you’re hungry.” she said, quickly wiping her tears and standing. She put that fake voice back on, masking her true self even in front of a random cat. “You wait right here. I’ll go find you some food before my next appointment!” She laughed boisterously, still laughing as she exited her office.
Her door slammed shut, Wriothesley staring at it for a few moments before hopping off of her desk.
Was Neuvillette here? Would Wriothesley be seeing him today?
He wiped the thoughts away, knowing he had bigger fish to fry. Like the fact he was hungry enough to consume every single fish in Teyvat.
And the fact he was a cat. But that part seemed less pressing at the moment.
Cat brains appeared to be pretty one-track.
He sniffed around her office, imagining how everyone would react when he went back to normal.
“It was Wriothesley all along?!”
“I thought her name was Princess Sparkles!”
“Why, oh, why?! Bring Princess Sparkles back!”
He rolled his eyes at the scenario, stretching his front legs as he made his way across the room.
Should he try to escape after he eats? he wondered. It wouldn’t be very hard to get out of here. Cats were fast – especially when reinvigorated with food. He could sprint back to the Fortress of Meropide and continue trying to get this mask off.
On the other hand…. Depending on how things went…
Should Wriothesley really pass up the opportunity to live life as a cat?
No more responsibilities. No more work.
…But there were people who needed him. The Fortress was better off with him as the warden – the duke – “your grace”. He couldn’t abandon anyone else.
That simply wasn’t an option.
So yes. After he ate, he needed to get off his ass and run back to Meropide as if his life depended on it. He had tools in his office he could use to get a better grasp on what was going on with himself. If all else failed, he could make his way to the Fontaine Research Institute with a written letter (which he could write himself once he mastered wielding a pen) explaining his situation and his needs. If anyone in Fontaine would be aware of the technology behind this mask, it was them.
If there was a way to get into the mask, there had to be a way to get out. Wriothesley was sure of it.
Or at least, that belief is what kept him from panicking. Panic was foolish before proof of a need to be.
Just as he’d begun to consider knocking Furina’s pens off her desk out of boredom, the door opened.
“I understand, Furina.” that familiar voice said, sending a pang of nervous warmth through Wriothesley.
See – He knew that being in Neuvillette’s vicinity meant he might stumble across him. He had even hoped for it.
But he hadn’t known that those latent feelings he could easily push aside in his human body would so readily present themself when he was a cat!
His tail whipped excitedly, chirps leaving his mouth, his legs propelling him forward before he had a chance to stop them. He circled Neuvillette’s legs, rubbing against him, his tail curling around Neuvillette’s calf, hugging close to it like a glove.
“O-oh!” Neuvillette went, his hands shooting up, eyes widening as he looked down and saw the excited furball at his ankles. “Is this–”
“Yes, that’s her.” Furina said, an over-the-top laugh. “It seems she likes you more than me. It’s for the best. I’m too busy to look after a cat.”
“...Yes.” Neuvillette said, still frozen in place, confused by Wriothesley’s behavior.
“Maybe you should take her to your office.” Furina yawned, peering down at Wriothesley.
“Ah, Furina, I don’t have time for–”
“Please?” she interjected. Her eyes were sad. Hurt. Neuvillette was too busy gawping at Wriothesley to see.
He sighed, finally allowing his arms to drop. “...As you wish, Lady Furina.”
Neuvillette’s office seemed much bigger from this perspective. Wriothesley felt lost in it. It smelled different. Stronger. He felt like Neuvillette’s scent was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Strongest when he plopped himself down on Neuvillette’s desk chair.
Neuvillette had left upon dropping Wriothesley off, in the middle of taking care of something. Thusly Wriothesley was left alone to explore once again, finding his boredom increasing by the second.
Maybe it was the cat part of him. Or perhaps Wriothesley’s youthful rebellion had made its fierce return. But he had the urge to make a mess of this room, his hunger exacerbating the intrusive desire. He’d already felt it in Furina’s office… but now he really wanted to make trouble. It’d be funny to see the look on Neuvillette’s face.
...Less funny, perhaps if Neuvillette shipped him off to a shelter after.
Just as Wriothesley started considering what he’d do next if Neuvillette kicked him out, Neuvillette returned, carrying a plate of food and a bowl of water.
“From Lady Furina–”
Wriothesley leapt off Neuvillette’s desk, sprinting toward him, staring up and chirping loudly, begging Neuvillette to set them down. He pawed at his legs, hopped up and down, nails dangerously close to sinking into the expensive material of Neuvillette’s boots.
“Here you are.” Neuvillette said calmly, setting them down by his desk. “I’m sorry for the wait, Madame Cat.”
Wriothesley couldn’t bear another moment without scarfing down the dry kibble.
As a human, Wriothesley had always assumed this shit sucked.
But as a cat?!
Archons. This was heaven.
Each bite was more delicious than the last, a wealth of flavor that exploded on his tongue piece after piece. Meat! Delicious chicken and fish, so very rich!
It wasn’t until after he’d finished eating that he thought about how far gone he felt. And it hadn’t even been a full day yet.
How long did he have before he started forgetting he was human….?
A mask like this couldn’t be safe. Especially not long term.
What if this was all some big hallucination? What if Wriothesley was on the floor in his office right now, passed out and waiting for someone to find him?
None of this made sense. And he couldn’t give in. Couldn’t let himself be trapped by whatever had sucked him into this mask.
He needed to fight.
…As soon as he finished staring at Neuvillette.
This was weird.
His heart fluttered. Really, truly skipped. He felt love and affection and admiration for the man before him.
This was Neuvillette.
The Neuvillette.
The one that had been there for him through the hardest moments of his life. Who had believed in him. Stuck beside him. Argued for him.
Cared for him.
The same Neuvillette that Wriothesley had always buried his feelings for. Convinced himself not to dwell on. Recognized that Neuvillette was probably straight, and if there was anyone he was destined to end up with it was Furina.
And yet…
Now. Sitting on his desk. Watching his hands move, writing in the most beautiful calligraphy a cat’s eyes could ever see…
Wriothesley felt love.
Deep, indescribable love. Strong enough to make his stomach twist, to make him purr like an engine, want to fall asleep curled up on Neuvillette’s lap, soak in his warmth, sleep with more comfort than he’d ever felt in his life.
Neuvillette looked over at him, seemingly distracted by Wriothesley’s intense stare.
He reached a hand up, the fleeting thought of petting Wriothesley… but he quickly changed his mind, going back to writing.
Wriothesley stood up and stepped closer, starting to take matters into his own hands until he looked down, seeing what Neuvillette had last written.
It was his planner, opened to today’s date, a simple addition he’d made to his last meeting.
Wriothesley - No Show.
Wriothesley’s anxiety spiked, realization washing over him. He glanced at the date.
He was supposed to meet Neuvillette today. A routine business discussion over tea down in Meropide. When Neuvillette left before, it wasn’t to take care of something else… It was to wait for Wriothesley at Meropide, eventually leaving when he realized Wriothesley wasn’t showing up to the meeting he agreed to host.
”Another time.” Neuvillette said, sighing softly.
...There was no way Wriothesley could stay a cat.