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The new cafeteria was amazing. With all the new renovations to Nelson Road finally wrapping up after a long very loud and construction-heavy summer, it was really starting to feel like the Premier League club that it was. The new spa, new gym, the top of the line equipment, the facilities, the food, it was all lovely. The whole place felt fresh and airy, spacious and modern without that awful all-grey utilitarian look that some of the newer clubs they played against had in their newer buildings.
It still felt like home, but better.
Rebecca had really invested in the place, had sat down with the team and the coaches to really figure out what they needed. The love and care showed in every detail of the renovations, and it made Sam’s heart ache a little bit to think about it. In a way, this new place was Rebecca’s love letter to her family. Walking through the halls felt like a warm hug, like he was cared for here. It also had team spirits at an all-time high. Just a couple of months into the new season, they were near the top of the Premier League table. The fans were happy, the pundits were being shockingly complimentary, the coaches were pleased, and Roy even smiled sometimes, though Sam had a growing feeling that their good performance wasn’t the only cause of that.
They were all sat around one of the largest tables at the cafeteria for lunch, something that was becoming a rather lovely ritual. Sure, not everyone could join for every lunch. Some players had physio, a session with Dr. Sharon, or other appointments, but more often than not, the team headed up to eat together, gathering around the table by the window that overlooked the pitch and served as an extension to the VIP area during the games now. They had even put in a lovely bar area in the renovations that the players were starting to make use of after a match. The staff were all lovely and it felt good to be able to celebrate and relax somewhere unobserved, somewhere they could let loose.
The coaches were gathered on one end of the table today, going over some new strategy that required the use of all the salt and pepper shakers from the surrounding tables standing in as players for the new manoeuvre Nate was explaining. Beard paid him his full attention, while Roy seemed lost in meticulously peeling an apple and trying not to let the peel break as he did so. The increasingly long ribbon was starting to curl in on itself on the plate in front of him as he worked away at the apple. It wasn’t an easy task with the way Jamie’s arm kept brushing Roy's as he regaled Sam’s part of the table with a very vivid description of the birthday cake his stepdad had surprised him with the day before.
“-and like I didn’t know you could make pear-flavoured frosting, but he did it!”
“Jamie, I love you, but I need you to either stop making me want that cake or I need you to drive me home to your place right now and give me some of it.” Sam warned him, amused and delighted with how happy Jamie was.
He was wearing the sweater they had given him this weekend for his birthday. It had been a group project. A month or so ago, Dr. Sharon had suggested that doing something with their hands might get them out of their heads and arranged for an instructor to come in and teach them how to crochet or knit, whichever they preferred. The idea for every player to make some crochet squares that they could then sew into a sweater had been Isaac’s, and Moe had been the one with the actual needle skills to realise the vision and create something actually wearable.
In retrospect, they shouldn’t have given it to Jamie after he had already had a few drinks (a rare treat, sanctioned by Roy), because there was no stopping the waterworks when Sam had explained that each one of his team mates had made at least two of the squares for him. And well, Sam had ended up making twelve and Moe had made eight, because it turned out that a sweater Jamie’s size took a lot of squares.
“You actually might have to come help me eat it, because-“
Sam got to watch in fascination as Roy held out an apple slice to Jamie who didn’t even blink at it, taking it from Roy’s fingers and continuing to speak like it hadn't happened. Roy didn’t show any sign that he had done it consciously either, he was talking to Nate and giving him his full attention now.
“-I’m gonna have to freeze some otherwise or bring it in.” Jamie popped the apple slice into his mouth.
“So did we crush your birthday or did we crush it?” Isaac asked, pleased.
Jamie fondly ran his hand over the arm of his sweater. “You crushed it, mate, absolutely mad skills right here! You know, when I was little we didn’t have no money for new clothes, but yarn wasn’t expensive back then-”
Another apple slice was held out to Jamie and he took it again, as if his gaffer handing him cut up fruit wasn’t weird to him in the least. Roy still wasn’t even paying attention to their side of the table. He just went back to creating more slices while chiming in on whatever the front left pepper shaker was meant to do in the scenario the other coaches were absorbed in.
“-and my mum used to knit me these really thick sweaters, cos it were so cold in our flat. I kind of feel like shit about it now. Cos she put in so much effort, right? Like a whole sweater? That’s a ton of work. And I didn’t like them cos I thought it were embarrassing, not having ‘proper’ clothes.” He chewed on his new slice of apple thoughtfully.
“Well, you were a kid, and you wanted to fit in, right?” Colin reasoned from Jamie’s other side. “That’s normal!”
Jamie swayed his head from side to side, absentminded now that he was thinking, reevaluating a part of his childhood that had probably been filed away somewhere until now. Another slice of apple was held out and he took it again, popping it into his mouth and leaning towards Roy a little bit. Sam’s eyes darted over to Dani to check if he was seeing it too. If he did, he didn’t let anything on when he spoke up.
“I think your mum loves you very much and would probably be happy, knowing that you remember the effort fondly and that appreciate it now,” Dani suggested.
“Do you really think so? I know what Dr. Sharon says, right? That it’s never too late to say sorry if you've been a twat, but-“
Roy held out another slice for Jamie. The discussion between the coaches was really picking up in contrast to the wistfully softened tone that their own chat had slipped into. It made it all the more odd, seeing Roy continue to feed Jamie like he wasn’t even aware he was doing it.
“I think that still applies here even if it was a long time ago,” Sam said. “I remember when I was little, I’d get so annoyed that my dad always made me prep food with him and cook with him. We’re not always grown-up enough to appreciate the way we are loved. I think parents know that.”
He was met with a chorus of approval and agreement. They didn’t talk about it, but their phones gravitated into their hands and Sam found himself pulling up his own mother’s number to text her, and he could see Isaac do the same next to him.
When he looked up, Jamie had a fresh slice of apple in his hand, texting on his own phone, absentmindedly. More importantly though, he looked up just in time to see Roy look down at the empty plate in front of him that held nothing but the unbroken apple peel and the apple's core.
Roy blinked and looked up to see Jamie holding the last slice. Something incredibly warm and fond washed over his usually stern features. Sam had seen it before, rarely aimed at himself or another team member, but increasingly growing to be the only way he looked at Jamie. Never on the pitch, never when the media was around, but when it was just them and no one was looking, when things were quiet and it was just the team, then yes, Roy would look at him like that.
Sometimes Jamie caught Roy looking at him like that too, and it did something to him. It made his chess puff out in pride, it made his cheeks flush in a way not even the dirtiest of jokes or sincerest of compliments did.
As if sensing Roy’s attention, Jamie brought his phone screen up so Roy could see what he was typing.
“Did I spell that right?” He asked quietly.
“Double 'p',” Roy whispered back softly, and Jamie nodded, tapping into his screen to correct it, his head dropping onto Roy’s shoulder as he did.
Sam looked away quickly, not wanting to be the one who caught Roy’s gaze in that moment. It felt like he shouldn’t be looking in the same way that watching Jamie fall asleep against Roy’s side on the bus home from a game felt like it wasn’t for his eyes. There was something so intimate and tender about them, it felt raw and fragile, like a delicate flower Sam knew he didn’t have the skills to care for, something that needed time to grow and gentle conditions to flourish.
“Alright then,” Isaac spoke up, keeping them in line and on schedule in his duties as their captain. “Everybody tidy up your space and then let’s go. If anyone still has tight hammies after yoga, Gail has two appointment slots this afternoon.”
Sam glanced up to see Jamie straighten up, a shy smile on his face as he glanced at Roy, who patted his shoulder and sent him on the way. They tidied their table, bringing their food trays back to the collection point, and Sam fell into step with Jamie out of habit.
“Did you text your mum?” He asked as Jamie led him over to the canteen area.
“Yeah,” Jamie stopped at the fruit bowl, and Sam lingered as he looked through to find the best apple. Sam picked one up to have later as well. “I like what you said, you know, about not always getting how you’re loved, like it’s different for people, right? How they show it and feel it?” With the reddest of apples in Jamie's hand, they made their way into the direction of the exit, but that wasn’t where Jamie’s steps led them.
“It can be a complicated thing,” Sam agreed, thinking wistfully of the people he loved and missed, and how little he had managed to be in touch these past two weeks. Their schedules had just been too busy.
Jamie steps slowed and he leaned into Roy's space and put the apple down in front of Roy as they passed their table again, squeezing Roy's shoulder as he walked on by without saying a word.
Sam blinked, almost losing his own step.
“But, you know sometimes it’s very simple,” he added as he followed Jamie out of the cafeteria, glancing back just long enough to see Roy watching Jamie leave, looking like he had half a mind to come with them just to stay close.
“How do you know if you’re doing it right, though? Like if you wanna make sure they know.” Jamie asked as they made their way down the stairs towards the locker room.
“If you’re showing love the right way?” Sam asked, and Jamie nodded.
“Well, I suppose if the person you love is happy, then you’re doing it right.” It didn’t feel like such a hypothetical conversation anymore and Jamie was quiet for a moment, gears turning in his head. They got changed into their workout gear, and Sam watched as Jamie delicately folded his sweater up so it wouldn’t wrinkle. As they put down their yoga mats down next to each other, Sam couldn’t help but dig a little deeper.
“Roy looks really happy lately, doesn’t he?” He asked as the coaches passed by the gym door in the corridor on their way back to their offices.
“You think?” Jamie asked, and Sam bit back a smile.
“Oh yes, probably the happiest I’ve ever seen him,” he mused.
Roy looked back over his shoulder, into the room where the team was setting up for their session, and there was no question in Sam’s mind about who he was looking for.
“Only thing that might make him even happier is a slice of that cake of yours.” Now Sam was just pushing it, but he had a feeling there wasn’t much of a push needed anymore. Jamie’s expression had settled in that way it did when he had a plan, eyes following Roy down the corridor until he couldn't see him anymore.
“I’ll be right back, yeah?” Jamie patted Sam's shoulder and left his mat on the floor, rushing out the door at a pace just short of running to catch up with Roy.
The lesson started, but Jamie didn’t come back to join Sam again.
In fact, both Roy and Jamie were absent for tape review that afternoon.
Sam didn’t comment on Jamie’s uncharacteristically black and muted clothes the next morning, but he did pat his shoulder when Jamie couldn’t keep the smile off his face to save his life when Roy started filling them in on the new strategy Nate had come up with.
They settled in to listen, and Jamie quietly opened up a little lunchbox, offering one of the apple slices he had brought to Sam and Colin who were closest to him, the skin meticulously peeled off them, the way Roy had prepared them for him the day before.
“My nan always said that if you peel an apple and you can get the peel off in one long ribbon without it breaking even once, that means you’ll find true love.” Colin whispered when he picked one.
“Really?” Jamie asked, his cheeks flushing when he looked back at Roy, catching his gaze for a moment. “I like that.”