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“Izuku,” Kacchan drawls, trying to keep his composure. “If you don’t move out of my way, I’m going to explode you into the monstrosity behind you.”
“But that would kill it!”
“That would be the point.”
The standoff between the two men has been ongoing for the past twelve minutes, neither of them showing signs of backing down.
It had been a rather peaceful night. The two of them had busied themselves by unpacking the rest of their items, still in boxes, that were littered around the apartment they bought together a month ago.
Originally, tonight was supposed to be a sort of movie night, as few weeks ago, they’d planned on binging the new All Might documentary that was set to release tonight.
That’s a lie. Technically, Izuku was the one who planned it and dragged Kacchan into it, but he knows the fiery blond wants to watch it just as much as he does! So does it really matter? No.
However, their plans had been thrown adrift when heroics had gotten in the way of ridding the apartment of boxes.
Weeks flew by and they had barely made a dent on getting settled in. And each day that passed where the two of them got up surrounded by cardboard crates, the more Izuku believes his partner’s right eyeball will twitch out of its socket.
So, as this is the only night that they will have in a while at which they are off duty, they dedicated it to unraveling their belongings from their cages.
All was swell up until Kacchan disturbed the only box that sat in the darkest corner of the living room. The same box a spider had deemed to be the perfect place to reside in for the time being.
But honestly, they really should’ve expected this to happen from how ominous that box looked.
Kacchan had thrown the box down immediately after spotting the, in his words, vicious creature, while letting out a startled yell.
Though, if they were to tell anyone this story, Izuku wouldn’t be surprised if Kacchan denied that fact until the day he died.
The poor thing got spooked by all the commotion and ran to take cover under their couch, but Kacchan was having none of that. He had hurriedly picked up a book that had spilled from the box, and chucked it at the spider.
The brown spider had scurried across the hardwood floor and towards the wall, seeking safety in the top corner of the room.
Kacchan had then decided that his next best course of action was to hurl more objects at the insect, causing it to travel every which way on the sheetrock. Izuku had snapped out of his daze at the massacre of flying projectiles being flung at the wall, telling the blond that this wasn’t the right approach and there were better ways to go about this.
His partner had paused at his words before darting to the kitchen, ordering him to make sure the spider didn’t vanish into thin air. He arrived moments later, a bug-swatter making an appearance with him.
Instantly after spotting the bug wacker, Izuku stepped in front of the innocent critter, effectively blocking Kacchan’s path.
And that exact position is where they’ve been for the past handful of minutes.
Izuku crosses his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t understand why we can’t just take the spider outside.”
The blond in front of him lowers the bug swatter he was previously waving around in the air in frustration to his side. “It’s a Brown Widow. If you want to try and maneuver the fucker outside, that’s all on you. I, personally, choose not to die a pathetic death like that.”
“I’m not going to die, Kacchan,” he rolls his eyes. "That's a bit dramatic."
“We’ll see if you’re still saying that when we’re having to rush your ass to the ER.”
They lapse into tense silence, glaring at one another.
“Well?” The man questions after a moment of nothing, “Are you waiting for the bastard to jump on your back so you can take it for a ride? Or are you using your brain and pussying out?”
Squinting his eyes at red ones, Izuku answers with his own question. “If I were to leave for a second to get a bowl and a piece of paper, would you kill it?”
The silence that engulfs them tells Izuku everything he needs to know. Kacchan has never been the one to lie, even when it’s small things like this.
The man before Izuku is the one who breaks the unofficial staring contest, lifting his head to the ceiling and heaving a long sigh, spinning swiftly on his heel and stomping his way back towards the kitchen, leaving a confused Izuku in his wake.
Did he give up? No way, it would be frosting over in hell before Kacchan gave up that simply.
Thunderous foot steps pound down the hall, and all Izuku can do is pray that whatever poor soul lives beneath them won’t file a noise complaint to the front desk.
Kacchan stops at an arm's length distance and flings multiple items in his direction. Izuku fumbes to catch them before they can fall and cause even more ruckus.
He’s pleasantly surprised when he snags glance at the objects formerly thrown at his head. A clear plastic bowl and what looks like a piece a cardboard that had been ripped from its previous home lie comfortably in each of his hands.
Izuku eyes Kacchan’s own hands. His head tilts slightly to the side in a silent question.
Kacchan put his now free hands on his hips, the fly swatter now gone. “I’m not getting anywhere near that killer, so don’t start pleadin’ me to come rescue you if it decides to pounce on your face.”
“I won’t need your help! Brown Widows aren’t known to be aggressive unwarranted, so it’s not likely that it’ll attack me, Kacchan.” Izuku responded cheerfully, finally getting a good grip on the bowl and cardboard.
His boyfriend has never been particularly fond of bugs.
When they were children, the blond would have little to no mercy for the poor insects that dared cross his path. He would even find joy in pouring water all over ant beds and watching them panic! Izuku remembers once witnessing the tragic event unfold, breaking down into hysterical sobs and muttering how all the ants are homeless now. He doesn’t think Kacchan ever did that again.
All in all, Kacchan isn’t scared of bugs. Well, he isn’t scared of most bugs.
Izuku knows that Kacchan will never admit it, but he is deathly afraid of spiders. The traumatic incident that triggered this fear was one that kicked off his hatred of all insects.
It occurred when they were young, playing in the forest they were always in. Only the two of them were hanging out that day, as the other kids they would usually spend time with weren’t at the playground that day.
They had been climbing trees, pretending to be heroes saving people in need, when Kacchan had accidentally gone through a web that was expanded on the surrounding tree branches. The young boy hadn’t freaked out; he just simply whipped off the remaining white strings that had gotten attached to him and went back to playing.
A few minutes had passed, and the two of them found themselves sitting together on one of the higher and more stable branches, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Kacchan had reached up in the middle of his rant on the new All Might series that had just come out to scratch his head, and had then abruptly stopped talking.
The sudden quietness had the younger version of Izuku turning towards his friend, observing as Kacchan peeled his hand away from his blond spikes. And there, pinched between Kacchan’s small fingers, was a spider that was larger than either of their childish hands combined.
A sound between a dying animal and the squeal of a grocery cart erupted from Kacchan’s mouth. The blond had flinched so violently, that he had tumbled backwards off the branch, landing in a heap on the grass below. Izuku rushed down the tree to check on his best friend, making it down just as Kacchan had begun pulling himself off the ground.
Izuku had offered his hand, which was slapped away with the blond calling out a remark, but that didn’t cease his worry that was oozing off of him in waves; if anything, it seemed to amplify his concern. That was no doubt the wrong reaction, as exactly after Kacchan managed to pick himself up, he started marching in the direction they came from, obviously done with playing that day.
After that, it was clear to Izuku that Kacchan despised all insects, going out of his way to make sure all bugs’ lives were made miserable in every way achievable.
So Izuku knows Kacchan has a good reason for wanting to kill the spider. It’s large and fast, and the Brown Widow is known as one of the most poisonous spiders in the whole world. Anyone would want a creature like that to be gone. But even so, Izuku doesn’t think it deserves death! It’s never caused either of them harm before, so why should they kill it?
With this in mind, Izuku spins so that he’s now facing the insect, his back now to Kacchan. “It’s going to be fine. Neither I nor the spider, will get injured.” The green haired boy assures.
“Yeah, sure. When you get bit and die from its poison, don’t be looking at me for help because I will be ignoring you and your dumbass.”
Izuku slowly approaches the insect sticking innocently to the beige wall – they still haven’t had time to paint them since moving in – shaking his head and huffing out a laugh. “How sweet of you.”
Kacchan says something back, probably another retort, but it all goes in one ear and out the other as Izuku focuses all of his attention on the spider sprawled out on the wall ahead of him.
Now, Izuku doesn’t want to do anything rash, as sudden movements might scare it and cause it to attack. And that would only prove that Kacchan was right. And it may also cause Izuku to get hurt.
But if he isn’t fast enough, then it’s likely the spider will predict what he’s planning and either run away or attack him. Which, again, would only show that Kacchan is correct in wanting to kill it. And it could, again, get Izuku injured.
So Izuku has to do this flawlessly if he hopes for this to go the way he wants.
The green haired man positions the bowl in his right hand, his scarred palm and fingers big enough to where he can hold the rounded part without difficulty. He shifts so that the bowl is hovering over where the spider lays, still oblivious to what’s going on. Taking a deep inhale, Izuku checks one last time that the bowl will go perfectly around the bug and will not crush it.
Izuku starts lowering the bowl at a moderate pace once he sees that it’s in the precise spot needed. He freezes, though, a split second later when he notices one of its eight legs twitch. This must have been the wrong response, as the Brown Widow makes a quick decision to make a run for it, heading to the corner it was in previously.
Reacting on instinct, Izuku hurriedly activates Float and pushes himself towards the eight legged insect. The hero reaches the spider right before it can make it to the safety of the corner, and encloses it in the clear plastic bowl.
Izuku lets out a relieved sigh, staring intently at the terrified bug, “I got it!”
“Great,” Kacchan says, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “What’s the next step in your master plan now that you’re levitating with a demon trapped under a bowl?”
“I’m working on it,” he grumbles out.
Using Float, Izuku gently lowers himself to the ground, keeping the bowl pressed firmly to the wall to prevent the Brown Widow from escaping. After his feet touch the ground, he brings the piece of cardboard that was being kept in his left hand up to the bowl, easing it between the plastic rim and the wall.
Continuing to have his right hand planted securely on the bottom of the bowl, he uses his other hand to slowly lift the cardboard off the wall while keeping contact with the bowl. Once it’s been fully removed from the wall, Izuku tilts it so the cardboard lays in the palm of his left hand while his right one stays unchanging on the round plastic.
“See?” Izuku rotates to present the spider now trapped to Kacchan, holding it out proudly, “It wasn’t that hard.”
All he gets in response is an unimpressed look from the blond.
Izuku’s gaze travels back to the trapped spider, his curiosity over the large bug growing. He brings the confinement closer to his face to better see through the white plastic. The creepy-crawly is a light brown color, its abdomen being a darker shade with small white dots covering the visible area.
While Kacchan hated all insects, – spiders, ants, ladybugs, butterflies, anything – Izuku has always been the complete opposite. He’s found the little guys entrancing since he could remember. When he was a kid he would even collect books on them, and when playing outside Izuku would inspect all the different bugs he could get his hands on.
He still has most of the facts memorized, and with how much he talked about it, he’s sure Kacchan remembers a handful of information as well, much to his chagrin.
In fact, Izuku is sixty-five percent sure that’s how he swiftly figured out what species the spider was. It’s only at sixty-five because he wouldn’t put it past the blond to commit to memory every single type of spider there is in order to know how to deal with each and every one out there as thoroughly as possible.
“So,” Kacchan says, the sound causing Izuku to snap his attention back to his partner, “Are you going to keep making googly-eyes at the hellspawn? Because if so, you can continue this outside.”
“I’m not making googly-eyes, spiders are just interesting! Like, did you know that all webs are unique? It’s like snowflakes! Yes, some may look alike, but there’s always at least one thing that differentiates it from the crowd. And do you know how some female spiders will consume male spiders? Well some species of male spiders–”
“Holy fucking shit – if you don’t get that away from me I’m blasting you into the fucking sun.” Kacchan rushes out in one breath, his voice strikingly nearer than before.
“Huh?” Izuku shifted his green eyes back to red ones and – when did he get closer to the blond? Izuku blinks at Kacchan, beginning to process what was just said, “But then the spider would be let loose into the apartment again.”
“It would be worth it.”
Izuku promptly brought the caged spider closer to his chest, half-heartedly glaring. “Rude.”
The shorter of the two is the first to break eye contact this time around, swinging his sights to the balcony door.
Kacchan must have seen where he trained his vision on, as in the next second he deadpans, “You are not putting that asshole out on our balcony.”
Not looking back at the blond as he walks to the double doors, he huffs, “How else am I supposed to bring it outside?”
“The lobby.” And by the tone in his voice, Izuku knows that Kacchan knows the suggestion is over the top.
Izuku pauses in his movement, twisting his head around so his boyfriend could see his muddled expression. “Kacchan, we live on the sixty-fourth floor.”
A few months ago, he and Kacchan found the apartment complex they are standing in now as they speak. It was a building with the desire of housing pro heroes and the sidekicks of said heroes. They had been dating for a little over a year when they began discussing moving, but they’d been having trouble finding the right one.
Back then, each of them had their own apartment, since they started going out after purchasing their homes. The pair would take turns staying at the other’s house, but after a while of doing that, it started to become a hassle. So they started looking for a new living space, one that could fit the both of them.
It was a long, grueling procedure, but finally after weeks of searching they came across this apartment open for potential buyers.
“Fine.” Kacchan smirks, “Let's go put it on Half ‘n’ Half’s balcony. It can be our little housewarming gift to him.”
Oh, Izuku had also told some of their old classmates that he knew were looking for housing about the complex! Shouto, along with a few of the others, landed some of the neighboring units.
“Kacchan,” he exasperated.
The man tosses his arms up and throws himself onto the arm of the couch. “Whatever, but if I ever see it again, I’m throwing it over the railing and into oncoming traffic.”
Izuku elects to ignore the comment, and instead chooses to focus on the task at hand. He turns back to the glass doors, freezing directly after doing so. He doesn’t have any available hands to open the door.
Smiling sickly sweet, Izuku tries to ask for help in an award winning manner, only to get cut off not even a full word in by a sharp, “No.”
He puffs out one cheek, narrowing his eyes at the door as if it would magically grow a mouth and tell him the solution.
However, it seems Izuku was never in need of that miracle to happen, as Kacchan comes to his rescue once seeing his predicament.
“Use Blackwhip, dumbass.”
Oh. Blackwhip. Sometimes Izuku forgets that’s an option, even after possessing the quirk for five – almost six – years.
Unleashing the quirk from his forearm, he watches as the black tendrils wrap around the spherical door handle and twists it. The door opens without a sound, and with it comes the frost of the evening invading their warm home.
Izuku steps out onto the balcony with urgency, wanting to do this as speedily as possible so he can retreat back into the warmth of the apartment. He falls to a squat, placing the cardboard on the still wet concrete from where it rained earlier that day, keeping his right hand on top of the bowl.
The spider inside has slowly become more irate, a franticness growing in its motions as it looks for an escape route as the time ticks by.
Pushing the bowl farther away from him to ensure he’s a safe distance, he steadily elevates the plastic off the cardboard. As soon as there is even a crack made from where the bowl was lifted, the Brown Widow dashes out.
And, with the speed Izuku didn’t wholly realize the spider held, it raced to his right hand and chomped down with zero hesitation on the first inch of skin it came into contact with.
Going with his knee-jerk reaction, Izuku flings his hand in the air with a loud hiss of pain at the sensation of a needle pricking the back of his hand. The insect goes flying to the opposite side of the balcony, disappearing entirely as it crawled down the wall of the building to who knows where.
Izuku rises from the ground, chancing a glance down at his now throbbing hand. There, at the very edge of his dominant hand, sits a red circle with two dots of blood in the middle of it, swelling already starting to make itself known.
“Did the fucker just bite you?!” Kacchan’s voice booms from inside the house, must having heard the commotion.
In a blink of an eye, Kacchan is looming in the doorway, scanning his figure head to toe.
“What? No!” He clutches his hand to his chest hearing the blond resume his trek to him, “I’m fine, really!” Izuku may as well have said nothing, as his words fell on deaf ears while his wrist was yanked away from him for Kacchan to examine himself.
“Fine my ass,” Kacchan rumbles, eyeing the new-forming red spot on the back of his hand.
Without letting go of his wrist, he starts making his way back into the house. He drags Izuku all the way to their front door before detaching himself from him, bending over to slip his shoes on.
“Uhm,” Izuku says, shifting his weight between his feet, feeling suddenly awkward, “Where are you going?”
Kacchan snaps his head to the side, his eyes telling him that the answer should be obvious. The blond quickly returns his attention back to tying his sneakers, “The hospital.”
“The what?!” Izuku shakes his head while simultaneously waving his hands in the air. “I don’t need to go to the hospital! Honest! It’s just a small bite. Also, didn’t you say you weren’t going to help if I got bitten?”
Finally done with shoving his feet into a pair of shoes, Kacchan stands up to his max height and jabs a finger in his face. “When I said I wouldn’t allow myself to die such a pathetic death, that goes for my hero partner too, you shitnerd! If I were to enable someone who I let work next to me die a stupid death like that, I would be just as brainless as that idiot.”
Now, not to toot his own horn or anything, but Izuku would say he’s become decently fluent in Kacchan’s language over the last few years. And based off his expertise in this field, Izuku can say with confidence that what Kacchan is really saying is:
“Are you being serious right now? Of course I’m going to make sure you’re okay, nerd. Why would I just stand around and watch you be in pain?”
A soft smile spreads across Izuku’s lips and erases the small space between the two of them, raising his chin slightly so he’s able to leave a delicate press of lips against the skin of the blond’s cheek.
Leaning away to look at Kacchan in his eyes, while still remaining close enough for their breaths to mingle together, he quietly says, “I know that you didn’t actually mean it. And I know that you wouldn’t just watch me be in pain, but we don’t have to go to the hospital. It’s sweet that you want to make sure I’m fine. I’ll just put some antibiotics on it, and it’ll probably get better within a couple of days.”
They stay like that for a moment, stuck in their own little world. He can feel Kacchan’s heat seeping to him, fighting off the chill that still lingers from his time outside. His partner’s expression – one that normally has a scowl etched on it – is smoothed out. The edges of his face softening to one Izuku would bet money on that only he’s ever been shown.
The last thing Izuku sees before the moment is broken is the sudden sharpening of Kacchan’s eyes, and a calloused hand coming up to push his face away. “Nice try, dork, but we’re still going to the hospital.”
He groans, “But we don’t need to!” Izuku wrenches the hand off his face, barely managing to see the shoes flying towards his head in time to catch them.
“Hurry and put those on before I drag your ass down there without them.”
Never knowing Kacchan to make empty threats, Izuku briskly puts on his own shoes. When he straightens back up, he spots the door now standing open with Kacchan in its threshold beckoning him on, hand held out as an offering.
Accepting defeat, Izuku gladly accepts the hand in his.