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“I hate you.” Dick said. Or, that’s what he meant to say. He was actually half asleep, so it came out more as “Mrrrrrrrrg.”
“Love you too,” Tim said. He finished extricating himself from Dick’s death grip and swung one leg over Jason.
Jason rolled on his back and opened his eyes, squinting up at Tim straddling him. He groaned quietly. “It’s the middle of the night, pretty bird. It has to actually be morning before you can have morning sex.”
Tim swung his other leg over and got out of bed. “Go back to sleep you two. I’ve just got to look up this one thing…”
Dick moaned loudly. “Go. Some of us like to SLEEP at the asscrack of dawn. C’mere, Jayjay.” Dick scooted over and wrapped both arms (and a leg) around Jason, who reciprocated until they were a tangle of limbs that really didn’t look comfortable to Tim. But who was he to judge? Besides, they were cute.
#####
Jay and Dick must’ve been in bed for an hour before Tim finally got there. His boyfriends had passed out straight after patrol, but Tim had reports to write and case files to edit. Finally, he was finished typing and ready to hit the sack. He stripped down to his boxers, leaving the sweats he’d been wearing on the bedroom floor. Jason hated it when he left laundry everywhere, but that was a battle for the morning.
He went to climb into bed and—shit. Jason was sprawled out over as much of the bed as he could possibly cover. And that was a lot. Dick was smushed underneath him, face snuggled into his neck. Leaving Tim about three inches of room.
“Budge up,” he said, nudging Jason’s arm over. “I wanna go to bed.”
Jason cracked open an eye. “Timmy?”
“Yeah, Jay. Timmy. Now let me go to bed.”
Jason freed one arm, leaving the other still wrapped around Dick, and pulled Tim down to bed, squeezing Tim’s face into his torso. He hooked one leg around Tim’s ankle and buried his face in Tim’s hair.
Jason yawned. “G’night, Timmy.” And then he was asleep again.
Tim was about 100% sure that when he woke up, he wouldn’t be able to feel his legs.
#####
“Sleep more,” Dick said, laying his head on Tim’s stomach as if to hold him down. “Pillow now.”
It was 3 AM and Tim really, REALLY needed to go to the bathroom. And instead of letting him up, Dick had decided to ram his face directly into Tim’s bladder.
“I’m not a pillow,” Tim protested.
“Yes you are.”
“Let me get up! I’ll be right back!”
Dick nuzzled his head into Tim’s abdomen, and that was it. Tim broke out his Red Robin voice.
“Richard John Grayson, I will pee on you.”
“Grumpy.” But Dick’s grip let enough to let him wiggle free. Unfortunately, the angle he was coming from made it virtually impossible not to kick Jason in the head.
“Whozit?!” Jason sat bolt upright, hand flying to the gun he insisted on keeping under his pillow.
“Tim has to pee,” Dick mumbled sleepily. He sat up, wrapping one arm around Jason’s shoulders. “It’s ok, Little Wing. Go back to sleep.”
With any luck, the gun would be put away by the time he got back from the bathroom.
#####
Tim woke up screaming. He’d tried sleeping on the couch, not wanting to disturb his lovers another night. But while Jay and Dick tended to chase the worst of the nightmares away, on his own he was terrifyingly open to whatever horrors his mind could conjure up.
He’d knocked over an end table, flailing in sightless terror, before two sets of strong arms wrapped around him.
“We’re here, babybird,” a quiet voice said in his ear. Dick.
“You’re safe. We’re here,” Jason said. Tim relaxed into their arms.
Dick left for a moment, then came back with a glass of water.
“Here. Drink,” he said, pressing the glass into Tim’s hand. One man sat down on either side of Tim, both putting an arm around his shoulders.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Jason asked as Tim took slow sips of the water.
“It’s the same one,” Tim said. “The one where everyone dies.”
Dick and Jason moved in unison to pull him into a tight hug.
“We’re not going anywhere,” Dick said.
“Come to bed.” Jason picked him up and carried him to the bed, nestling him between them. And if this were any other setting and any other night, he’d bother to be embarrassed, but for now he just breathed, and tried to remember that they were all safe and warm and whole.
So the couch was definitely not an option.
#####
“Dude, did you weld this yourself?” Jason asked. “No, wait. Did you have Roy weld it? Because I love the guy, but I’m not sleeping on some Frankenbed he smashed together without pants on.” Jason stared at the bunk beds in disbelief. It did look kind of unbalanced. The top was an extra long twin bed, shoved to one side over the queen bed underneath.
“One: this is a perfectly legitimate bed that I bought online.” Tim said. “Two: why do you just assume I’m hanging out with seminude archers?”
Jason raised his eyebrows. “Have you ever known Roy to willingly wear pants when not under threat of legal action or an ass-kicking?”
Tim paused to think. “I’ll give you that one. But as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, this is the solution to all our problems! No more waking you up in the middle of the night. But I won’t be alone, so no more nightmares.”
Jason shrugged. “I’m not gonna be the one to explain to Dick where our perfectly functional bed went. Can you even fuck on that without it breaking?”
“Only one way to find out,” Tim said, waggling his eyebrows.
Just then, the front door opened.
“Dinner’s here!” Dick called, the telltale rustling of bags of takeout reinforcing his claim.
“You’re following through on that later, pretty bird,” Jason said with a grin.
Dick pushed open the door to the bedroom.
“What the HELL is THAT?!”
Tim sighed. “It’s a bed. It’s a perfectly legitimate bed. And it’s going to let you two numbskulls actually get some sleep for once.”
The promised christening of the new bunk beds did not in fact come that night, as patrol was long and exhausting and involved Tim slogging through sewers, and by the time they all got home Tim couldn’t feel less sexy or more tired.
“I am going to set myself on fire,” Tim said as he headed toward the shower.
“Don’t do that,” Dick said.
“Then I’m going to bathe in rubbing alcohol.”
“Under the sink!” Jason called in after him.
By the time Tim felt at least marginally sanitary, Dick and Jason had already stripped down and were cuddled up to each other on the lower half of the bed. Dick had taken the side against the wall like he preferred; it made him feel safer to have walls on two sides of him. Jason was on the outside, since he liked to be able to get up quickly and make a quick exit if need be.
“Aren’t you going to put guard rails on that?” Dick asked as Tim headed towards the ladder.
“Dick, I’m nineteen. I’m not going to fall out of bed.”
Dick shrugged. “Suit yourself. Don’t I at least get a kiss goodnight?”
“Me too! Where’s my kiss, Timmers?” Jason asked.
Tim climbed back down the ladder, leaning over Jason to press a kiss to Dick’s lips. Dick smiled as he pulled away.
“That’s more like it,” Dick said.
Tim kissed Jason next, Jason wrapping his arms around him as he leaned down.
“Goodnight guys,” Tim said as he climbed the ladder and laid down.
Dick heard the creaking of bedsprings overhead as Tim settled into bed.
“How’s it treating you up there?” he asked.
Tim gave a small test bounce. “Seems nice.”
“If you get lonely overnight, just…roll over,” Dick said. Tim looked over to the edge of the bed.
“Do not,” Jason said. “That’s my face you’d be flopping on. I like my face.”
“I like your face too,” Dick said. Tim heard them kissing, and then their breathing slowly quiet. Between Dick’s soft breaths and Jason’s little sleepy sighs, he didn’t feel too alone. This just might be the solution to all their problems.
#####
Dick startled awake as a crash resounded through the bedroom. Jason screamed, then Tim. Dick sprang into high alert. He tried to jump up into a fighting stance, but banged his head on something. Hard.
Someone grabbed at his legs, tackling him back down onto the bed and onto a squirming body.
“Who’s there?” Dick yelled.
“Dick?” Jason said. The arms around Dick’s legs let go right before Dick punched their owner in the face.
“What the fuck?!” Jason yelled. “You punched me!”
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” Tim yelled, shoving Dick off of him. Okay, so THAT’S who was underneath him.
“You fell out of bed,” Jason said.
Dick fell back on the bed and started laughing. Jason joined him next, then Tim.
“Dude,” Dick said. “When I said roll over if you get lonely, I didn’t actually MEAN it.”
“Please tell me you can get our old bed back,” Jason said.
“But I’ll still wake you up at night,” Tim said.
“As opposed to landing on top of me? I’m okay with that.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dick reached out a hand to feel over Jason’s face for injuries.
“He’s little. And he landed on my chest. I’m fine, Dickiebird.”
Tim winced. “I’m sorry. Well, as long as I’m awake, I might as well—“
He was cut off by Dick and Jason closing in on either side of him.
“Sleep. You might as well get some sleep for once in your life,” Jason said. “This is a sign from the heavens that you need to be cuddled.”
“I thought it was a sign from the heavens that Tim needs a bed with a rail,” Dick said.
“Sssssssssssssssssssssssh,” Jason said. “We’re sleeping.”
As he began to drift off, Tim was awakened by a horrible thought.
“You guys can’t tell Damian ANYTHING.”