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It’s not that he didn’t like his best friend’s new boyfriend. He did. He totally did. Or, at least he tried to pretend to like the guy. When you grow up with someone who never showed any interest in anyone and then they just up and get a boyfriend out of the blue during their last year of college, it’s bound to kind of… throw a person off.
Naruto gets along with everyone. He’s cheerful and adaptive. He can make old women cackle with delight and little boys want to grow up to be just like him. If he walks around the park near his apartment, ducklings start to follow him. Naruto is likable, and he finds other people likable, too.
Naruto totally likes Sasuke’s new boyfriend Suigetsu. Totally. Definitely. Doesn’t mind the guy at all.
Except for when he’s forced to hangout with Suigetsu, which is everytime he sees Sasuke nowadays. And when Suigetsu wraps his hand around Sasuke’s waist and pulls him in close and laughs loudly in his ear and squashes their cheeks together -
When Naruto does something like that, Sasuke uses his hand to push Naruto away by his face, says something along the lines of, “Get away from me, idiot. I don’t want to catch your stupidity.”
There was never a time that Naruto saw Sasuke push Suigetsu away. Granted, Sui is the boyfriend and Naruto is the irritating best friend, but still. It rubs Naruto the wrong way. Hurts his feelings a little bit.
And it’s not like Naruto was surprised that Sasuke was gay or anything. If anything, he was surprised that Sasuke was interested in anyone period. Throughout high school, while Naruto experimented with people like TenTen and Neji and even Ino, Sasuke stayed impossibly single.
That wasn’t a bad thing, Naruto didn’t think, up until now.
They’re all out for the night; not necessarily to celebrate anything, but to try and get their minds off of exams and applying for internships and their shitty basically-minimum-wage customer service jobs.
Naruto watches Suigetsu curl his fingers in Sasuke’s belt loop to pull him closer, stuffing his face in the crook of Sasuke’s neck. It’s almost like Suigestu is trying to claim residence under Sasuke’s skin. Naruto really, really wishes he’d been exposed to this when he was younger so he didn’t have to try and fumble his way through seeing his best friend get close to someone else other than himself as an adult.
Then again, who needs to get used to seeing their best friend in a romantic relationship?
He must have been glaring, because there is a hard nudge in his ribs from his left side where Sakura is sitting next to him at the bar.
“God, Naruto,” she scolds. “Get yourself under control. You’re going to burn a hole in the poor guy’s head if you keep giving him that look.”
Naruto scoffs as a reply, trying to cover up his flaming face by taking a gulp of his drink. His hair is shaggy, but not long enough by any means to be able to adequately hide behind it. The only other thing working in his favor as camouflage are the flashing lights of the club.
Sakura ends up pulling Naruto out to dance after a couple more of her loud huffs and side eyes in response to his odd behavior. Moving his limbs helps him clear his head a bit. After a handful of songs, it starts to feel like someone was staring holes into the back of his head. Each time he looked behind himself, all he could see was Suigetsu talking Sasuke’s ear off, irritating Naruto further.
“Hey, I need to go to the bathroom!” Sakura yells in his ear as she slows her dancing, hands propped on each of his shoulders. “Will you come with me and wait outside?”
Naruto gives her a look. Sakura was the last girl to ask for someone to go to the bathroom with her. She was independent, and the fact that she even asked has Naruto worried. Of course he agrees.
As soon as they make it down the hall where the bathrooms were located, the music is dulled, sealed off by the door they walked through. The only noise they hear is coming from the other patrons waiting in line for the bathrooms. Naruto’s ears start to ring and he can tell he’s a little tipsy after Sakura quickly pushes him against the wall and crowds into his face, the neckline of his shirt caught in her tight grasp.
Aside from being caught off guard, Naruto quickly thinks that he should start working out with his pink haired friend. She’s strong as fuck.
“What has crawled up your ass and died?” She confronts him, voice hissing. “We were supposed to come out and have a nice time with Sasuke, who, let me remind you, has been our best friend since, like, fourth grade. Are you not happy that he actually found someone he likes? Like, God, Naruto, someone would think that you . . . “ Sakura slowly trails off, giving Naruto a scrutinizing look. Her eyes widen. “Naruto, you’re literally lying to me right now.”
He looks to the side, accidentally making eye contact with a brown haired man who gives him a pained smile, and feels Sakura’s stubbed nails grip into his skin, trying to make him look at her. Normally she had her nails done, but luckily for him, her new job’s appearance policy did not allow the sharp claws she normally had on. Otherwise, blood would have been drawn. “I don’t know what you’re insinuating,” he starts, not meeting her intense gaze, “but you are completely wrong.”
“Since when have you felt like this? I thought you just didn’t like Suigetsu as a person, but shit, I should have known I was wrong. You practically love everyone. I didn’t know you could get jealous. I should have seen this coming a mile away. I bet Ino already knew, that fucking psychic. She’s not getting anything from me for a week. She’s sleeping on the couch.” Sakura rambles. “Naruto, fucking answer me you dolt!”
The guy that was standing next to him almost tries to intervene. He raises his hand out to Naruto, but Sakura’s eyes are full of fire when she whips her face to look at him, and he shrinks away, back into the wall. He’s going to keep his life tonight.
Maybe Naruto is tipsier than he originally thought. He can’t form a coherent sentence in his brain, let alone say something out loud. He never has this problem. Normally, his mouth never stops running. But now, now that someone is specifically questioning his feelings --- feelings that he has never let come to the surface before, apparently --- he cannot articulate anything.
Memories flash in his head ---
Working out at the gym with Sasuke, who lifts his shirt to wipe sweat off his face. Naruto having to avert his eyes from the sweaty, toned stomach that assaults his line of sight
Seeing one of Sasuke’s rare smiles when Sakura’s cat comes directly to him and not straight to Naruto
Sasuke teaching Naruto’s little brother, Konohamaru, how to properly make tea because Naruto consistently fucks it up and Sasuke wants to help Konohamaru be better than his older brother in every possible way. He loves the odd relationship they have
Sasuke bringing Naruto medicine and ramen when he was sick, and yelling at him when he got too close because he didn’t want to get sick, but then staying the night and putting a cold washcloth on his forehead overnight to help keep the fever down
“Oh fuck, since when have I loved Sasuke?” Naruto says aloud, not really sure if he was asking himself or Sakura. She’s grinning from ear to ear and her face is three inches from his face. Her breath smells like the whiskey she’s been drinking and she looks nefarious, eyes still full of fire.
A person comes out of the restroom, and the brown haired guy runs in, eager to get away.
“WHAT?” a new voice exclaims, causing both Naruto and Sakura to whip their heads to the side to look towards the voice. It’s Suigetsu. “What did you just say?”
Naruto’s heart stutters. Stops. Falls out of his chest. Shit. He might have not cared for Suigetsu, but he was not one to make issues for anyone else over his own stupid feelings. “Nothing! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! You heard nothing! This conversation was never voiced! We were never here!” Naruto nervously blubbers, filling the deafening silence. The rest of the people in the hall are too drunk to notice much; they are chatting, trying to perform the newest trending dance with a stranger video recording them.
Sasuke walks in behind Suigetsu, who is starting to resemble a fish out of water, flopping on land without anything to breathe. “Jesus, Naruto. You’re louder than the music. What are you yelling about now?”
Naruto looks like he swallowed a frog. He wants to die. Where is he supposed to look? Did Sasuke hear anything? He wills his mouth to come up with an explanation, but yet again, words were failing him. Or maybe his brain is. He’s really grateful that Sakura still has him in her vice-like grip, because otherwise he would have either fallen to the floor or bolted out of the hallway.
One of those scenarios may have been a better alternative, though. Naruto does not normally feel awkward, but he does right now at this moment. It feels like there is a hippo on his chest and he is struggling to catch his breath.
Thank God for Sakura. “Naruto has realized how drunk he really is. Have you seen how much sake he’s put away? He was declaring his love for his drink of choice and that’s what he was yelling about. I think it’s time to get him home, though. You guys stay and have a good rest of the night. Suigetsu, it was nice seeing you again. Sasuke, we should get breakfast soon. Come on, Naruto, let’s get going. I’ll call for us a taxi.” Naruto owes her food. Or new exercise equipment, or more drinks. She’s so good with words when she needs to be, such a quick thinker, smooth talker. Was it enough to fool Sasuke? Hopefully.
Following her lead, Naruto puts a goofy grin on his face and forces himself to throw out an awkward laugh. “I’ll see you guys later! Don’t stay up too late! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Cringing, he looks down, trying to shield his eyes as they stumble past the couple. He can feel Sasuke’s gaze boring into him, and like a magnet, Naruto’s eyes immediately meet Sasuke’s.
Naruto feels ashamed. He can’t tell what Sasuke is thinking. He feels nauseous. He always thought it was sad for people to fall in love with their best friend, because there was a level of uncertainty behind it, and now here he was in that exact position.
*
It’s early when Naruto startles awake and realizes he’s being watched. While it would not have been unusual for Tobi, the three-year-old golden retriever that happened to share the house with Naruto, to wake him up with a Staring Deathmatch, he was at Naruto’s parents’ house for the weekend. They liked the company. They also had two dogs, Kakashi and Rin, who were all from the same litter.
It was narrowed down to three possibilities of who the stalker was:
One: Naruto’s other roommate, Lee, an actual human, who tended to wake Naruto up to go for a morning run.
Two: A burglar. It was time for Naruto to die. (He wouldn’t actually die because he’s actually really fit and is really good at martial arts and can whoop anyone’s ass, but the sentiment is the same.)
Three (the least likely possibility): Sasuke. Naruto had given him a spare key because, duh, it was Sasuke, and also because he’s a responsible adult, so he knew that Sasuke was the most responsible person to leave a key with. Obviously.
A grunt breaks the silence, and then Naruto is flicked on the cheek. “I know you’re awake, stop pretending. Get up.”
A fourth option: a shapeshifter made to look and sound like Sasuke. Or a robot. Or Sasuke’s doppelganger.
Groaning, Naruto rolls to put his back to this intruder and gropes around for a pillow to hug. “Go away, heathen. It’s too early to deal with you.”
A loud huff. Naruto can practically predict eyes were rolling toward the sky. “I haven’t even gone to bed yet. I had a fight with Suigetsu.”
Naruto must have a heart issue, because he again feels it stutter. Stop. Fall out of his chest. He thinks about making an appointment with his primary care physician. He hasn’t gotten a physical in a while. There’s obviously something wrong with his overall health.
He slowly sits up, the covers falling from his bare upper torso, arms bent and propped behind him. Where’s Sakura when you need her to speak for you? He takes a deep breath, sits up properly, stretching his arms towards the ceiling, trying to stall for some time, but still squinting towards Sasuke out of the corner of his eye to get a look at his face. Looks murderous. That’s normal. Naruto’s heart regulates. This isn’t going to be a bad conversation. If Sasuke even had an inkling that Naruto had feelings for him it would be game over; Sasuke might’ve even been the intruder to stab him to death if that was the case. This was going to go fine.
Naruto whips his legs around the side of his bed to face Sasuke, who is sitting in his rolling computer chair. Feet planted on his floor and elbows on his knees, Naruto looks up at Sasuke through his lashes. Naruto is great at relationships, good at giving relationship advice. He’s going to pretend that instead of Sasuke, he’s talking to Kiba, or Hinata, or virtually anyone else about their relationship. It’s going to go fine.
“I’m sorry to hear that. What was the fight about? I thought we all had a good time last night. What happened after Sakura and I left?”
Sasuke’s eyes narrow down at Naruto. His arms are crossed, fingers glittering with rings tap against his biceps. He’s still wearing the same clothes from last night. Naruto tries but struggles to remember what time he and Sakura left the club. He reaches for his phone that he remembered to plug in to charge last night to check the time. 6:42 in the morning. Jesus, it was early.
“Sasuke?” Naruto tries again, voice calm, voice low, taking his eyes off of his phone and back to his friend, whose own eyes had strayed a little lower to Naruto’s chest. Subconsciously, Naruto reaches his hand up to scratch one of his pecs, accidentally hitting his nipple ring. Sasuke licks his lips and begins to speak, eyes not averting.
“After you and Sakura left, Suigetsu started spewing off some wild story. He was inconsolable, kept blubbering about something that he heard, something that he has been self-conscious about since before we started dating.”
Naruto tries to remain calm. Can’t stop staring at Sasuke’s face. Starts to pull the blond hair on his legs. Tries to stop fidgeting, and it doesn’t work. He hates how suspicious he looks, always wearing his emotions on his sleeve.
“He said that you were in love with me.”
Opting for an unaffected approach, Naruto barks out a laugh. It’s wobbly. “Wow, what a silly thing for him to think is true. I know I have devilishly good looks, but how wild! If he learns that you’re talking to me about this, you might have another fight on your hands. Take it from me, a Relationship Advice Extraordinaire, that you might want to talk to like Juugo or Sakura about this instead. Talking to the person your boyfriend has imaginary competition with is not a smart move, as much as I want to help.” Naruto nods, happy with his response, but still pulling the hair on his legs.
Another sigh. “I’m not here for advice. As much as I call you stupid, I know you’re not actually stupid, Naruto.”
Bullets of sweat bead on Naruto’s forehead. “Hehehe, that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me! If you want to hang around you can, but if Lee finds you before he finds me he’ll probably try to rope you into going on a run with him. Better you than me. Sakura might be awake by now, though, so you should probably go over there or call her to see what to do about Suigetsu.” Naruto wants him to leave now. He wants to hide under his covers for the rest of the day and wait for his parents to drop Tobi off.
“You are not listening to me. I am not here for advice.”
Hands covering his eyes, and the word vomit erupts from Naruto. “Okay, listen, I was just really tipsy and in disbelief, honestly? I meant what I said, but I wouldn’t have said it to Sakura or anywhere in public and barely in my brain if I wasn’t drinking, and I kind of just figured it out. You literally just got into your first relationship and I don’t want my stupid feelings to ruin that! I am so sorry that he overheard and that I got tipsy enough to even say it out loud and to not be aware of my surroundings. You’re always telling me to watch who is around and to lower my voice and I really need to start taking that advice. Please don’t be mad at Suigetsu. He isn’t a liar but I’m not trying to make you choose me as your best friend over him as your boyfriend and I really don’t like this situation at all.”
Horrified, Naruto feels his eyes start to well with tears, so he pushes against them even harder. “I don’t expect you to respond to this at all. But like I feel like I’m not going to be your favorite person anymore and he’s loud and in your face and you don’t yell at him and you let him get close to you and whenever I get close to you I’m immediately shoved away, which I completely get because again, best friend not boyfriend, but I’m just not used to you having anyone outside of our friend group and you treat them differently than you normally treat us. But I completely get it if you never want to talk to me again. I’m so, so, so sorry.”
The silence from Sasuke makes Naruto feel like his blood has been replaced by tar.
“You are such a fucking idiot. I need to leave right now to fully break up with Suigetsu, but I will be back and you better be here and not hiding somewhere.”
Naruto immediately pulls his hands from his face, shoots a look of disbelief at Sasuke, who has stood from the chair. “What?”
Sasuke’s eyes roam Naruto’s face, which is now just a little wet and probably splotchy. “I will be back in an hour or two, depending on traffic.” He moves closer to Naruto, takes his hand to squish the bottom part of Naruto’s face, forcing his lips to pucker. “Take a shower. Eat an orange. Go back to bed. Do not leave this apartment. I’ll be back.” And he leaves. Just like that. Just like Naruto didn’t confess.
Luckily, Naruto is used to Sasuke being short and nondescript with their conversations. He doesn’t understand how Sasuke can call him an idiot and also an not idiot within one singular minute, but he feels like an idiot because he has no idea what’s going on. He’s going to blame it on the fact that he just woke up and got zero sleep, or that maybe this was a dream, a hallucination. The only thing he’s gathering is that it seems like Sasuke doesn’t hate him, so that’s good, but he’s confused as to why he’s going to break up with Suigetsu. He must still be tipsy.
With his brain acting against itself, he decides to listen to Sasuke’s instructions, so that way when he comes back, if he comes back, Sasuke won’t be mad at him. He takes a steamy shower, eats an orange (and a hard boiled egg), changes the sheets on his bed (to be fair it’s been a minute since he’s done this and his bedding smells like the club), and lays in bed. It’s been forty-five minutes. He FaceTimes Sakura, who surprisingly answers the call.
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of liking someone like Sasuke, who has no redeeming qualities.” Sakura’s eyes are shut, face smushed into her pillow, eyeliner smeared across her cheeks, and she has the audacity to say this.
“Good morning to you, too. Sasuke came over this morning, asked me for advice, I word-vomited all over him, and he left to break up with Suigetsu and said he’ll be coming back to my apartment afterwards. I’m really confused, but I don’t think he’s mad at me.”
While the way he tells the story is very straightforward with really no climax, Sakura visibly becomes more and more awake, sitting up in her bed, pink spiky hair poking out all around her head, raccoon eyes the center of the show. “What?”
“That’s what I said! So I’m not the only stupid one. That makes me feel a lot better.”
“No, Naruto, you are definitely the only stupid one. I literally cannot help you.” And she hangs up the call.
Rude.
*
Sasuke wakes him up, again, but this time, Naruto feels his bed dip next to him. Cracks his eyes open. Doesn’t think anything is real. Sasuke’s skin is like a porcelain doll’s, clear of any blemishes, shiny, beautiful. It heavily contrasts with the murderous look he almost always has. Now, his expression is different. Not murderous, but tired. Determined. Fond.
Naruto comes to a little more, notices Sasuke’s hair is wet. He’s laying on top of the comforter, his head propped up by his bent arm, looking down at Naruto. His clothes are different than earlier. He’s wearing Naruto’s university long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of his flannel pajama pants.
“The amount of exasperation I feel for you in certain instances is unlimited,” Sasuke starts once he realizes he has Naruto’s attention. Naruto will always be quiet to listen to him, because Sasuke doesn’t talk that much as it is. Anything Sasuke says is going to be something important, even if Naruto’s feelings get hurt by the words. “I would have dated someone forever ago if it meant I got more of your attention. It wouldn’t have been fair to that person, but I would’ve done it.
“As much as I praise my own awareness, I think I may have miscalculated. I watch you. Constantly. I know you better than I know anyone, and yet I never got the feeling that you felt anything more for me than as your friend.” Sasuke takes his hand and lets it clasp lightly against Naruto’s throat, a comforting gesture, oddly. “We’re on the same page now, right?” Sasuke’s tone is hypnotizing, lulling, smooth.
“I don’t even know how we could be on the same page. Don’t make me read between the lines.” One of Naruto’s hands sneaks out from underneath the blanket to rest it against Sasuke’s forearm.
The thumb on Naruto’s neck starts caressing the smooth skin that Naruto just shaved in the shower. “Do you know how many blond people i’ve fucked to try and get you off my mind? To find someone somewhat like you? I admire you, but sometimes I find myself hating you at the same time, because you are so oblivious. I want to fuck you into the sheets, grind against your ass. Tell you to stop being nice to people that take advantage of you. Monitor your sodium intake. Suck on your tongue. I want you to live with your head in the crook of my neck forever. I want to be the person you always look to for whatever you need, whether it be for something good or bad. You don’t rely on anyone. Rely on me.”
Naruto shudders, and he honestly can’t even believe this is happening right now. Not even twelve hours ago he thought he ruined his friendship with Sasuke, but now… this is a whole lie, right? “But… you always push me away? Sasuke, if this is a joke, you’re really not being funny. Or fair.”
The hand gets tighter, and Naruto starts to sweat more than he already was. “Listen to my words now. I do not joke around; you know this. Touch me whenever, wherever we are. I will not push you away. If you try to push me away, I won’t budge a single centimeter. We are together in every way from this point forward. Do you get what I’m saying now?”
“Ugh, Sasuke, this is so embarrassing. I’m so confused! Since when have you felt like this?!” Naruto is earnest. Naruto is truthful.
Sasuke huffs a light laugh. Sits criss-cross next to Naruto, instead of hovering over him. Retracts his hand. Gives Naruto space. Naruto sits up against his headboard, and changes the subject. Makes the situation easier, and gives him time to wrap his head around the new information. As usual, Sasuke lets him do whatever he wants, does not push. “Where did you get those clothes?”
“Long story or short story?”
“I haven’t seen you as much lately. Give me the long version.” Naruto smiles at Sasuke, not as bright as normal, but his eyes still crinkle with the movement. Sasuke moves closer to Naruto, sitting so so close, crossed legs touching Naruto’s left thigh and hip.
“You’ve been sleeping for a while. When I got back, Lee was leaving to go to work, and said your mom called, asking him to leave a note for you to go pick Tobi up from their house. She tried getting ahold of you but you have Do Not Disturb on. So I walked to your parents house, picked Tobi up, and on our walk back, it started raining outside. When we got back here, I took a shower because I still smelled like the club, and I was damp, and honestly, I’m tired. It felt good. Took your clothes. They’re comfy.”
“Ahh, what a thief. They’re a little big on you. Did you borrow my underwear too?!”
Sasuke rolls his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. Probably regrets staying here with Naruto and his questions, his prying eyes, his hesitancy. Finally, amusement crosses Sasuke’s face, and he places his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow resting on his knee. “Hmmm. What? Are you nervous that I fill out your underwear better than you? You might be a little more muscular than I am, but…”
Redness takes over Naruto’s face. He’s not a person that gets embarrassed or shy normally, so he’s really conflicted as to why this has been happening to him lately. He’s a good person. Is this some bad karma coming back to bite him? Naruto mumbles, “nevermind, it doesn’t even matter.”
“If you must know, I’m not wearing any underwear, yours or mine. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I’ve already done that. Are you hungry? I picked up some bagels on my walk back.”
They go downstairs to eat, watching a tv show in the living room, Tobi snuggled between them on the couch. It’s not tense, but the air doesn’t feel the same either.
“Want to play a video game?” Naruto asks.
Sasuke was on his phone, scrolling through a book. “I’m going to take a nap. I’ll watch you play until I fall asleep, though.”
They rearrange themselves on the couch. Sasuke’s head is on a pillow by Naruto’s thigh, Tobi somehow finds space to lay halfway on Sasuke, halfway on the couch. Naruto swears he hears him murmur, “you are lucky for me to allow you to sleep on me like this,” and smiles a bit to himself as he selects a game to play on his gaming console.
An hour goes by, then two. It’s now afternoon, and Naruto is bored, so he starts petting Sasuke’s head. Not necessarily to wake him up, although it does happen. “‘M tired. Stop bugging me,” and Sasuke puts his hand on Naruto’s to stop the caress.
“The past 12 hours have been bugging me. If you would have asked me 24 hours ago if what has recently been brought to light would happen, I would have laughed in your face. How did we get here?”
His hand is gripped by Sasuke’s. “Naruto, since I have met you, I have always had some kind of feelings for you, whether it was fully realized or not. Trust me and my words as I have trusted you and your words. I want to be with you. We have always been together in some sense of the word, anyways.”
“Okay, that’s it then. We’re together.” Sometimes, Naruto just needs to let his thoughts and words and interactions marinate before he acts on them, truly believes them, comprehends a situation.
“Okay.”
“Can our first kiss be like Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man and MJ’s? Upside down? We’re basically in that position, you just need to turn on your back.”
“No, you idiot.”
(They wrestle to settle their disagreement, like old times, and end up kissing. Whether or not it can be classified as a Spider-Man kiss is still up for debate. But they keep kissing, and kissing, until Tobi leaves the room in disgust, and Konohamaru bursts in his front door and shrieks, forcing the two apart. “Jiraya is going to be so PISSED that Ino won that bet!”)