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kyouka can admit she still doesn't really like being around akutagawa.
despite the changes he has clearly made, and how apologetic he was (if he even can be considered to have that emotion.) she can't help but remember the way his cold hands would grip at her throat.
how when she was new in the mafia, she used to scratch at his hands to try and get him off of her.
she shakes away that thought with the shake of her head.
she can tell how happy akutagawa makes atsushi. she knows, despite atsushi's subpar efforts to hide it, they're together, and happy at that.
she knows by the way akutagawa calls atsushi by his name now, instead of jinko. she knows by the way they linger whenever they touch, even just for a moment.
kyouka knows by the way that atsushi hasn't been shrinking away from touch as often, that he's happier. that he's improving because of akutagawa.
she doesn't think it's in her nature to hate people, not anymore at least. at first all she wanted was revenge, was to feel better. now, kyouka knows it doesn't feel any better to hurt people for hurting you.
it doesn't mean she likes akutagawa. despite his changes, he's still the port mafia's feral dog.
that's why, she's not thrilled to be sat next to him at their coffee table. atsushi brought home some delicious (and extremely expensive) barbecue for dinner, and akutagawa came with.
she supposes it's better than when they would have to eat expired food or go without for days waiting for paycheques. but, it's so awkward sitting next to him like this.
“so,” atsushi starts, and kyouka looks at him, “i heard you and kenji went on a case. how did that go, kyouka?”
kyouka finished chewing before responding, “it went fine, just a normal assassination. kenji bought us some crepes afterwards, those were yummy.”
atsushi nods, a bit awkward at the silence which followed.
kyouka just continued eating. she's not troubled by the silence; it's better than having to think of what to say while trying to eat.
atsushi looks at akutagawa expectantly.
kyouka sighs inwardly. atsushi has been doing this a lot lately; having kyouka "bond" with akutagawa. she really doesn't need to; she's not gonna react bad when he tells her. she might have been angry when she first figured it out, but honestly? it's not a big deal. shin soukoku are the next chuuya and dazai anyways; and those two are in love (she thinks, anyways.)
“you like crepes?” akutagawa hums, “I could get a machine for the apartment, if you wish. though, there may not be enough space.”
well.
“yes. get us a crepe machine.“ kyouka can feel her smile grow a bit, “some money for the crepe vendors too.”
“kyouka-” atsushi chokes on his chicken a bit, “akutagawa, you really don't have to do that!“
“it's fine, jinko.” the word sounds foreign; he does know she knows he doesn't call atsushi that anymore, right? “it's far too barren in here anyways. it's hardly a living space.”
“the port mafia pays really well,” kyouka says, slurping some noodles in-between sentences, “kouyou always said she had more money than she knew what to do with.”
“it pays the reasonable amount. your little detective agency shouldn't be paying you so low.” akutagawa fumes.
“it's perfectly fine! its enough.” atsushi says, like a liar.
kyouka side-eyes him. he's such a people pleaser.
“then your shouldn't have been rumbling on our last mission.” akutagawa counters, and suddenly kyouka feels like shes in the middle of a lovers quarrel.
she wonders if this is what she'll act like with kenji when she's old.
the two begin bickering, and kyouka kind of tunes out from there.
--
she wakes up a few days later to a new crepe machine in the living area. in a neat envelope on top of it is 10 thousand yen.
sweet.
--
a week later gin stops by the agency, and sets down a basket of sweets on kyouka's desk.
kyouka looks up at her. “what is this? is this from kouyou again?” she sighs, “please tell her i don't want her gifts.”
gin shakes her head, “they're from my brother. he says he hopes you like them.”
kyouka gapes, her normal stoic attitude dropping as soon as akutagawa is mentioned because; what?
“um..” kyouka stares a bit, and gin just stares back, “okay. thank him for me, i guess.“
gin nods, “girls night is next sunday, kyouka. i hope to see you there, i got some nail polish i think you will like.” then walks off.
kyouka is left dumbfounded with a basket filled with chocolates, sugary treats and teabags.
“what'cha got there, kyouka?” ranpo questions, innocent facade not fooling anyone.
“take some if you wanna, ranpo.” she replies.
kenji laughs a bit at the desk next to her as ranpo grabs candy out of there and scurries off. kyouka is left dumbfounded, still a bit shocked.
--
okay, kyouka's done with this.
this is the third basket of treats akutagawa has given her in a week, each one being either sweet, savoury or salty snacks. and don't get her wrong; she loves not having to worry about money for food anymore, but what is akutagawa trying to pull?
her cabinets are completely full. is this just a ploy to get atsushi to eat? because if so, he doesn't eat kyoukas snacks, even when she insists on sharing.
so, when another package is already dropped off on her desk when she enters, she's a bit done with it.
kyouka looks to atsushi, who also seems a bit unsure about it.
“these are expensive,” kyouka points to a box of truffles that she knows are outrageously priced, “has he said why he's bringing these?”
atsushi shrugs, “i think he's trying to say sorry? i'm not sure, he won't tell me when i ask.”
kyouka sighs, handing a bag of almonds to kenji as she speaks, “he doesn't need to apologize. he's already done that.”
atsushi shrugs, “i don't know. he's never really showed an interest in you before now.”
“whatever,“ kyouka takes a bite of one of the truffles, “i'm not gonna complain about free food, i guess.”
dazai pipes in from his desk, “akutagawa must have a crush!” he teases.
atsushi looks at him, disgusted. kyouka feels herself curl up her lip in distaste as well.
dazai laughs, “i meant he must have a crush on atsushi!”
is he serious? is he the only one who hasn't notice they're dating?
ranpo side eyes him, “that's been established.”
atsushi is blushing furiously, dazai is laughing and kyouka is wondering if she should ask for a lifetime supply of crepes next.
--
its been two weeks of almost daily baskets of treats and money for food coming in. kyouka wonders how akutagawa's still able to afford this.
she takes kenji on a lunch date, does girls night with gin, yosano and lucy and still has money leftover to make sure atsushi doesn't eat expired food (again) by buying more.
honestly, kyouka's beginning to realize what akutagawa is doing.
he's going to ask her if atsushi can live with him. he's going to leave her behind, and kyouka is always going to say yes because despite the loneliness she will feel, she loves atsushi and wants him to be happy.
he rescued her, so she'll let him be happy even if it doesn't include her.
kyouka wishes she could be selfish about this, deny akutagawa's wish for atsushi. as if he'd listen to her anyways. but, she can't. she can't let atsushi not have an option for a better house and being a glorified sugar baby.
she knows that he's either about to propose to atsushi or about to ask him to move into one of his houses. possibly one of the safehouses, but kyouka's not sure if he still uses those.
living by herself probably won't be that bad, but she's always lived with someone. being alone reminds her of the solitary nature of the port mafia.
so, kyouka tries to see the positive in it. she can have kenji over for sleepovers more often and will have all the closet space (though, she really almost does already.)
but, what will happen when she wakes up gasping for air after a nightmare of being choked? when atsushi wakes up whining and sobbing in fear of phantom people that he knows can't hurt him anymore?
kyouka really doesn't know what she'd do. the nightmares only began after the living through them ended; nobody else has helped her with them but him.
but, atsushi deserves to live with akutagawa. they both deserve to be happy together. kyouka knows in her soul how much akutagawa has been through and he really does deserve someone good, like atsushi.
--
she's not surprised when akutagawa practically corners her in the living room one evening.
atsushi is out with the men of the ADA, supervising so they don't drive home drunk.
kyouka is home alone when akutagawa walks right in, apparently having a key.
she looks at him, “atsushi's at the bar.”
“i know that.“ akutagawa coughs a bit, awkward, “i came here to speak to you.”
“why.” kyouka says, more as a statement than a question.
“i have a question for you. the jinko would want me to get your permission first, however idiotic i may find it.” he looks down at her, shes sitting on the floor and is suddenly reminded of how he used to look at her while training her.
“what is it?“ she asks, but she thinks she may already know.
kyouka braces herself.
“would you,” akutagawa coughs a bit, “would you like to move in with me with atsushi?”
well, she wasn't expecting that. her slightly stoic face drops a bit.
she waits a moment, thinking of an answer, “you don't have to invite me too out of pity.”
“i don't pity you.“ akutagawa sneers a bit, “i want you there. you make the jinko happy, and i know i have,” he pauses, “..hurt you with my training in the past, but that doesn't mean i do not respect you. i am.. happy for you. proud of what you have done for yourself.”
kyouka gasps a bit, her eyes hurt a bit and form some tears. she doesn't cry very often, but when she does, its an almost painful experience.
“were you trying to buy my approval with all those treats?” she asks, and he seems almost flustered at the question.
“i didn't know what else to do.” akutagawa states.
“i've known you and atsushi were together this whole time, by the way.” kyouka admits.
“i knew that you knew. the jinko seemed to think that avoiding telling you would delay a horrible reaction, but you're not an idiot.” he stares at her, “do you want to move in with us? if you do not, i'll understand. i mean, i won't understand wanting to stay in this closet of an apartment, but i'll understand.”
kyouka nods up at him, “kenji is my boyfriend. you have to let him come over sometimes. and i want a bunny.”
akutagawa nods, taking her 100% seriously.
“I will see to it that you get a bunny. and i could care less what detective idiot you bring over.” he replies.
“then yes, i'll go.” kyouka can feel her nerves settle.
he's not wanting her gone. somehow, it means more than she thought anything he's ever done could have.
--
its been a month since atsushi and kyouka moved in with akutagawa.
she has her own room, atsushi doesn't sleep in a closet anymore and she has a collection of bunny plushies ever growing on her bed.
atsushi has stopped hoarding food and eating it expired. kyouka's stopped needing to save all of her money to make sure that they don't go fully hungry and still have money for crepes.
she even has money to pay for kenji on dates.
kyouka wouldn't say it to him, and he probably wouldn't want to hear it anyways, but when kyouka looks at akutagawa, she doesn't see the man who abused her. she sees the man who saved atsushi, who buys her crepes and who makes sure she knows enough basic life skills to get by.
kyouka thinks that soon enough, she'll be able to fully forgive him.
and thats really all she can ask for.