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“Rain?”
Dewdrop knocked quietly on their door, listening for any sort of noise. He’s unsure if the others noticed the water ghoul’s absence as much as he did. It would be egotistical to say he was the only one who could see that. Not in physical form, no, Rain was always there physically. During meal times, if someone needed him, he was there. But Dew began to pick up the small tells. They stopped speaking out, following what they called their, “only speak when spoken to” rule. They pushed their food more than they ate at meals. They lowered their head more often, forcing their grown curls to cover their eyes. To the average eye, Rain was just being quiet. He knew better.
Nobody had seen them all day. Dew barely saw them the day before; they were up for breakfast, did their chores, and then hid away until dinner. He wanted to believe Rain was just tired. That was always their excuse.
“I’m just tired, don’t worry.” They’d say with a lazy smile, before shutting their door. But Dew knew, Dew saw past them.
They had gotten into a heated before when Rain first began isolating like this. Dew couldn’t understand what was going through their head, and they couldn’t bring themselves to explain. It was like they were chained, forced into submission by their own doing. Dew hated himself for not being able to help, lashing out at Rain. He knew he was in the wrong for it. The fight ended with smashed glass all over the living area, Dew forcefully being dragged away as he tried to lash his claws at Rain. Rain stood there, heaving breaths as Swiss whispered words they couldn’t quite hear.
They ended up not talking for weeks after. Dew knew he fucked up, Rain was under the impression that they did as well. They forced themselves to be more outgoing, joining in on events and plans that they could care less about in their current headspace. Dew would discreetly watch from across the room as Rain helped Cumulus with something in the kitchen. The smile they had was forced, he could see that. Their eyes were dull. He’d scoffed, mostly to himself, how could no one see behind the act?
It was the middle of the night when they finally made up, but it was an accident. Dewdrop woke up from his deep sleep, suddenly wide awake. He laid there for a minute, wondering what exactly woke him up. He wasn’t having unpleasant dreams. He wasn’t thirsty, he didn’t need the bathroom. The halls were quiet. He just… woke up, at three in the morning.
He sighed to himself as he decided to just get some water and try falling back asleep. He padded out into the living space, turning on a light to the kitchen before he froze. There Rain was, knelt down and curled in on themselves in front of the sink, their shoulders shaking with sobs. Rain was quick to turn their head when the light came on, a terrified expression on their face. Dew looked around; no one was there to help. He had to swallow down his pride and help them.
He sat with them for an hour at the sink, letting them cry into his shoulder as he rocked them. They clawed at his chest, unintelligible mutters and mumbles occasionally leaving their lips. When they finally tired themselves out, Dew forced a glass of water on them as they tried to stay awake, exhausted from the tears. He had held onto them as they made their way down the dorm hall, only pausing to decide which room to go to. He ultimately decided their room, but he stayed with them through the rest of the night. He woke again closer to ten in the morning, with a still sleeping water ghoul wrapped around him.
They eventually talked after that. Dew began to understand what was going on with Rain, even if a little. They spent that day crying and clinging to Dew, both exchanging woeful apologies to one another. Dew learned how to help Rain.
He knocked on their door again, louder this time. “Rain, you in there?”
Nothing. Dew sighed, “I’m coming in, Rain.”
He took out a key that Rain gave him for this specific reason and unlocked the door, letting himself in. The usually spotless room was in shambles. Clothing pilled anywhere but the hamper or dresser, various pieces of trash and trinkets lying about on the floor. There was a growing pile of dishes on the nightstand, no doubt from Rain’s escapades to feed themselves after everyone went to sleep. A lump of water ghoul laid on the bed, front facing the door. Rain only looked up to acknowledge the new presence before their eyes landed back on a space in the floor.
Dew made his way to the bed, climbing in without a second thought. He laid facing Rain, wrapped an arm around them and cranked his heat just a bit to warm up the cold ghoul. Rain’s eyes were glued to his chest.
“What’s going on?” Dew asked in a whisper.
Rain closed their eyes and heaved a sigh, scooching in to Dew.
“I’m so tired.” They whispered back into his chest.
“I’m here for you.” Dew kissed the top of their head, knowing his words meant nothing to Rain right now.
They stayed like that for what felt like hours, Rain in and out of consciousness as they tried to sleep. Dew stayed glued to them, staying awake as he let his thoughts run rampant. He only fell asleep for a bit, only to be waken up by Rain’s shoulders shaking.
“Hey, talk to me.” Dew rubbed their back as they continued to sob, the wrecked whines making his heart break.
“I-” Rain took in a shuddering breath, “I’m just so exhausted, Dew. It’s so hard sometimes.”
Dew nodded. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know. ” Rain let out another sob. “I can’t even help myself. My dumb fucking head just tells me all this shit, and I’m forced to believe it.”
Rain took their fist to their head, hitting at it before Dew could stop them.
“Rainy, no.” He whispered, forcing their hand into his. Their cries grew louder.
“Everyday is the same.” Rain sat up from Dew’s grasp, their breathing coming out quick and hard. “I wake up, I try to force myself to eat but I just can’t, because the thought of eating food someone else made makes me want to throw up , and so I have to act like a fucking child and hoard food in my room so I don’t die of starvation. And then I do my chores, but I can’t do those normally either, everything has to be in perfect order before I decide when it’s okay. Then I come home and try eat but it’s always in vain- and I feel bad, I do, because I’m wasting food but I’m not like this usually so I have to pretend it’s fine, that everything’s fine."
Dew sits up and shushes them when their breathing quickens, but they take a shuddering breath before continuing. “I can’t even sleep normally, because what if- I don’t know, what if I didn’t actually lock the den door and Sister sends her goons to sacrifice one of you? Or what if Mountain forgot to turn off the kettle after making his nighttime tea and it starts a fire, or something is happening to one of you and no one is there to help save you? So I spend all night just wondering, and it’s just-”
They drop their head into Dew’s lap, letting the panic in their lungs start to die down. Dew is helpess but to rub their back, letting them cry into his legs.
“I’m just so done with myself. I spend all day wishing I could go back to normal,” they chuckle wetly to themselves, “if that’s even a thing.”
Their crying tapers as Dew begins to hum, until eventually there’s nothing left but a stray hiccup or a breath that leaves their shoulders shaking. They lift their head from Dew’s lap, red rimmed eyes meeting his.
“I’m sorry you have to deal with me,” they mutter, “that you have to deal with this everytime.”
“I’m not dealing with anything.” Dew reassures. “I said I’d be here for you, because the last time you let this shit fester,” he waved his hand vaguely at Rain, “it ended with you in the infirmary.”
Rain hummed, fingers rubbing against the hand that was still locked with theirs.
Dew sighed, “And also because I care about you. We’re bonded, unfortunately, so even if I don’t experience half of what you do, I can still feel it, and I want to help, even if it’s just supporting you while you work it out.”
Rain nodded, eyes finally meeting his. “Do you ever wish we weren’t bonded?”
Dew scoffed, “Hell no. you’re probably the best thing that’s happened to me.”
Rain pursed their lips in an attempt to fight a smile. “The sex so good you couldn’t leave?”
Dew laughed at that, leaning down slightly to touch his forehead with theirs. “Yeah, can’t get enough of that ass.”
They stared at each other, giggling amongst themselves. Rain tilted their head ever so slightly, their lips grazing Dew’s.
“Thank you for staying with me.” They whispered.
Dew hummed and pecked their lips. “I’ll never leave.”
Rain giggled again, “Is that a threat or a promise?”
“A vow.”